"You're going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that," Dean says, amused as he watches Cas pace back and forth across the bedroom. Cas gives him a sour look, adjusting his collar again, and Dean sighs, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around the other man's waist, stopping his movement. "Cas, baby, it's going to be fine. You don't have to freak out."

Despite himself, Cas relaxes into the hold, sighing softly. "Of course I have to freak out. I just really want things to go well."

Dean smiles, taking Cas by the shoulders and turning him enough to kiss him softly. "It will, I promise. Why do you have to freak out?"

Cas sighs again, sitting down at the edge of the bed. "Because this is important. He's important to you. He saved your life. If he doesn't like me…"

"I will still love you," Dean finishes, sitting down beside him. "But he is going to like you, I'm sure of it. We're just going to go have lunch and talk, that's all. All you have to do is not have a heart attack before we get there, okay? It's gonna be fine, I promise." Reluctantly, Cas nods, leaning in to press their lips together softly. Dean chuckles softly as he deepens the kiss. "You might have just gotten dressed for nothing," he murmurs, grinning.

"Don't you dare. Come on, let's go."

"Cas, this is Benny. Benny, Cas."

Cas nods politely, shaking the other man's hand. "So this is the guy you're always telling me about. It's nice to finally put a face to the name, especially since you talk about him so much. Nice to meet you Cas."

Dean chuckles, giving a little shrug, and Cas smiles. "It's nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you."

Lunch goes smoothly enough until Benny makes a joke, something about how his days of having his way with Dean are over, and though Dean laughs, something knots in Cas' stomach. As stupid as he knows it is; as much as he should have expected it, to hear about the depth of their relationship so blatantly hurts more than he wants to admit. He freezes a little, and Dean glances over at him, frowning for a moment before rejoining the conversation.

When they get back into the car, Dean turns it on and starts driving before glancing over at Cas. "Okay. What's going on?"

"Hmm?" Cas replies, not taking his gaze off the window.

"I know you better than that, Cas. You're mad. What's wrong?"

Cas sighs, warring with the bitter jealousy inside him for a minute before the words escape him. "The way he talks about you…"

Dean frowns, glancing at him again before focusing back on the road. "You knew we had a sexual relationship. I was always honest with you about that."

"Yeah, but I didn't realize you let him…" he pauses, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"What, fuck me? Of course I did. You let me do it with you, didn't you?" Dean counters.

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because I fucking love you, you idiot!" Cas shouts finally, unable to keep a leash on his anger any longer.

Dean goes quiet, shocked for a minute at his outburst. "You think I'm in love with him?" he asks quietly. "Cas, I love you. You know that."

Cas sighs, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can you drop me off home please?" he asks, his voice carefully controlled.

Dean frowns again. "Why?"

"I just…I need some space, Dean. Please."

They ride the rest of the way in silence until Dean pulls up outside Cas' building. "You know where to find me," he murmurs, staring out the windshield as Cas climbs out. He stalls at the curb until Cas makes it through the door, not even glancing back.

Cas drops his coat by the door, leaning heavily against the doorframe while he tries to breathe. He lashes out at the vase on the table, hearing it shatter to the floor, unsure if he's angrier with Dean for brushing his feelings off or at himself for being angry in the first place. "I need a drink," he murmurs to the jagged pieces of glass. "Or seven." He checks his watch, frowning at how early it is, but he gets up and changes his clothes before grabbing his coat again, leaving the remains of the vase behind.

Immediately after entering his apartment, the wave of guilt washes over Dean, and he sinks to the floor, rubbing at his temples in an effort to relieve the pressure building in his head. After a few minutes he manages to pick himself off the floor, walking back into the bedroom and frowning at the black box on the nightstand that contains Cas' collar. His immediate instinct is to drive straight over to Cas' apartment and give it to him, just to make sure he has it, but he swallows down the desire. Cas asked for space. That's fair. He had to respect that. Instead, he runs the soft leather through his fingers, hoping that needing some space isn't the beginning of the end. He falls asleep like that, clutching the collar to his chest, and when he wakes up it's late. He forces himself to get up and eat something, even though he really has no desire to move. The knock at the door startles him, and he checks his watch, wondering who on earth would be visiting him this late and reining in the hope that it's who he wants to see.

The sight of Cas on the other side of the door fills him with both relief and dread; relief that he's here and dread because he looks terrified and about ready to pass out. He starts mumbling almost incoherently as soon as the door opens. "Dean…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…please…"

Dean steps aside to let him into the apartment, and Cas nearly tackles him to the ground, throwing his arms around Dean's neck and holding on tightly as he sobs into Dean's chest. "I'm sorry too," Dean answers, starting to wrap his arms around him and freezing when he sees the bright red streaks staining the entire back of his shirt. His heart clenches when he realizes that it's blood, and a lot of it. "Jesus Cas, what happened?"

Cas only sobs harder, choking out broken phrases. "I can't…I'm sorry, Dean…I didn't mean to…I didn't know what to do…"

Dean swallows back his own panic, letting one of his hands settle at the back of Cas' neck, the other drifting low on his waist, below the bloody streaks. "Shhh, okay, it's okay, I got you," he murmurs, gently stroking through his sweaty hair. "We're going to take care of it, alright? Just calm down. Take a breath for me. I'm here." Cas quiets a little, sniffing and whimpering softly. "That's it. Take it easy. Come on, let's sit you down before you pass out on me." He kisses Cas' forehead softly as he slowly walks him back towards the couch, sinking down on it and pulling Cas into his lap, careful not to let his back touch anything. Cas shivers a little, pressing closer and resting his head under Dean's chin, listening to his steady heartbeat. "There we go. Can you tell me what happened?"

Cas takes a hiccupping breath. "I was really mad after you left, and I just wanted to forget about it. So I went to a bar."

Dean frowns over his head, glancing over at the time. "You went to get drunk at three in the afternoon? No one goes to a bar in the middle of the afternoon, Cas."

"I know," Cas answers, the words drifting toward a moan of pain. "But you know I don't really drink very much. I thought it would help if I could just stop feeling for a little while. But I accidentally got drunk. Like, really drunk, Dean, and there was this man…" A rogue sob escapes him, and Dean runs his fingers through his hair again as Cas suddenly looks up. "I'm so sorry, Dean. I shouldn't have done it. I was just so angry and confused and he was so nice..."

Dean shushes him again, shaking his head. "I know baby, it's okay. That's not important right now. I just need to know what happened so I can help. Did that man do this to you? Did he hurt you?"

Cas shudders again and nods, his face drawn tight like someone who's struggling not to burst into tears. "I guess I must have told him about us, about what we do, and he told me he understood. He said he would help me. And I…I wanted you to be mad like I was. So I went home with him." His words jumble together a little as he fights to keep speaking through the pain and distress, but Dean manages to sort them out. He hesitates for a moment.

"And did he…did you have sex with him?"

Cas shakes his head hard, then whimpers at the movement. "No. No. I wouldn't. But he…"

He sighs, then shakily rolls up his sleeves and shows Dean his wrists. Dean frowns at the raw, red skin around them, examining them gently. "He tied you up? Did he hurt you anywhere else besides your back?"

Cas loses focus again, another harsh sob escaping him. "It hurts, Dean…please help me…"

The sound breaks Dean's heart, and he rubs the back of Cas' neck soothingly. "Okay sweetheart, we'll fix it, I promise. Just hang in there for me, okay? Let's go inside and take a look." He carefully leads Cas over to the bed, gently sitting him down at the edge. "Trust me?" Cas nods quickly, and Dean digs a pair of scissors out of the bedside table, carefully cutting through his shirt to avoid having him stretch to get it off. He slips onto the bed behind him, carefully peeling the fabric away and apologizing when Cas whimpers. He can't help the soft gasp that escapes him when he sees what's under the shirt. The bloodstains were bad, but what was underneath it is so much worse, and Dean isn't really sure that it can be considered skin anymore. "Oh, baby…It'll hurt too much if I do it myself. We should get you to the hospital."

Cas whimpers again, shaking his head frantically. "No, I don't care. I don't like hospitals. Please, Dean…"

Dean frowns at the hint of panic creeping into his voice, and he nods, squeezing his hand gently. "Okay, okay. I won't make you go. But I…I think we should call Benny. I know you have issues with him, but he has a lot more experience handling stuff like this than I do. I don't want to do something wrong and hurt you. I'll be right here with you, I promise. Can I call him?"

Cas hesitates for a moment, but nods, leaning heavily into Dean's chest. "Okay," he murmurs faintly, the words heavy with pain. "I trust you."

Dean sighs, relieved, and kisses his temple softly, letting one hand move though Cas' hair soothingly as the other begins quickly searching through his phone for the right number. The disgruntled voice on the other end is barely intelligible. "Benny? Hey, I'm sorry to wake you, but it's an emergency. Cas is hurt bad. I need you to get here, like yesterday."

"Why don't you take him to the hospital?" Benny asks, words slurred with sleep.

A sliver of panic leaks into his voice. "I can't. He's afraid, he doesn't want to go, and I can't force him. Someone did this to him, and I couldn't stop it, and I don't know…Please, Benny. I need your help. I can't do this by myself."

The line is quiet for a few moments. "You sound more scared than I've ever heard, brother," Benny says quietly. "You must really love him." He pauses. "Alright, I'm on my way. Just keep him calm and keep him awake."

A sigh of relief escapes Dean, and he nods. "Thank you so much. The door is open. I'll see you soon."

He hangs up, and Cas looks up at him. "Well?"

"He's coming," Dean murmurs, though he's not sure who he's repeating it for. "We're going to fix this, I promise. Just hang in there for me, okay?"

Cas swallows, nodding, but continues to shake, though out of fear or pain or exhaustion Dean doesn't know. Though he does his best to keep it together, every now and then the pain overwhelms him again, and he cries out, panting as Dean soothes him softly. "Dean?" he whispers, eyeing the box on the table. "C-Can I have my collar please?"

"Of course, baby." He reaches over, picking up the collar and gently fastening it around his neck. Cas' eyes close for a minute, his pained expression smoothing out a little as he breathes easier. Dean manages to relax a little too, kissing his forehead softly. "There you go. Deep breaths, sweetheart. I'm here." He glances up when he hears the front door, waiting anxiously for Benny to find his way into the bedroom. Cas presses a little closer, burrowing further into Dean's chest. "Hey Benny," he sighs, relieved when the older man comes through the door. "Thank you so much for coming. I'm so sorry…"

"Don't worry about it," he answers, waving off his apology. Just tell me what we're dealing…" he trails off as his eyes fall to Cas' back, and he sucks in a breath. "Holy hell, Dean. You said it was bad, but…my God. What the hell happened?"

Dean glances down at the shaking form in his lap, but Cas doesn't seem inclined to answer, still clinging to him tightly. "I'm not really sure," he says quietly, running a hand gently through Cas' sweat-soaked hair. "We had a fight, and Cas went to a bar, and some guy picked him up. Someone like us. All I know is he showed up maybe half an hour ago, damn near hysterical, and I saw the blood. There's rope burn around his wrists, and this…how could anyone do this?"

"Honestly," Benny murmurs, "I've got no idea. But I'm glad you called." He slips his bag off of his shoulder, setting it on the floor and crouching next to it. "Hey Castiel? Can you hear me buddy?" he says softly. Cas gives a little whimper, but peeks out at him a little. "Hey. I'm here to help, alright? We're gonna get you fixed up. I'm just gonna take a look for a minute, okay? I'll only touch the parts that aren't hurt, promise. That okay?"

Cas shudders a little, but gives a slight nod, and Benny nods back, lightly touching his shoulder as he takes a closer look at the wounds. "Well?" Dean asks anxiously. "Any thoughts?"

"Looks like lash marks," he answers. "A helluva lot of them. We gotta clean them out to get a better look at it, but…it's not going to be pretty." Dean sighs heavily, nodding. Cas whimpers again, and Benny frowns. "Hey now. You look at me." Slowly, Cas turns, his eyes wide. "Now, I know you're scared and in a lot of pain. I'm not gonna lie to you. It's not going to be fun. But I'm gonna do my damnedest to be as gentle and quick as I can. All you gotta do is hang on to Dean here and keep breathing as best you can. And if you need a break, all you have to do is say the word. Deal?"

Cas gives a small smile, still shaking but breathing easier, and he nods. Benny smiles back, turning to dig through his bag. Cas watches him, perplexed. "W-What's that?" he asks weakly.

Benny glances up at him, grinning. "So Dean didn't tell you, eh? I've been an EMT for damn near twenty years now, and before that I worked in emergency rooms. You're in good hands."

Cas readjusts his grip on Dean, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He cries out as Benny begins the careful process of cleaning his wounds, shaking harder and unable to stop the pained noises from escaping. Dean murmurs to him softly, wincing at his cries and doing his best to comfort him. As Benny works his way lower a loud whimper escapes him, and he jerks away as much as he can. "Angel," he mutters weakly. "Angel, angel, angel!"

Dean nudges Benny, and he stops, looking up. "That's his safeword," he explains, brushing Cas' hair off his forehead. "Alright baby, he stopped. You need a break?" Cas swallows and nods, still whimpering softly. "You're doing so good, sweetheart. Deep breaths. I got you."

Benny disappears for a moment, returning with a damp washcloth and a glass of water. He sets the glass down, gently pressing the cloth to Cas' sweaty and tearstained face. Cas sighs and leans into it, his hand coming up to lightly brush Benny's arm gratefully. The older man smiles. "You're welcome. Dean's right, you're doing great. We only have a little spot left to clean."

He holds up the glass, and Cas takes it eagerly, draining it before looking up at him. "Then what?" he asks hesitantly.

"We're going to treat it with a special cream and wrap it up for now to let it heal overnight." Cas cringes a little at the thought, and Benny chuckles softly. "It won't be as bad as this, I swear. This is the worst part. Then we can clean the rest of you up and get you to bed. You're almost there. Think you're ready to finish up this part?"

Cas takes a deep breath before nodding, resting his forehead against Dean's chest again. He tenses as Benny starts to clean again, and Dean kisses the crown of his head softly. "So proud of you baby," he murmurs softly.

"Ten more seconds," Benny assures him. He counts backwards from ten, and by the time he reaches one the wounds are clean. Cas sighs in relief, collapsing against Dean. "You made it through the worst part," he says softly. "Just take a few minutes to breathe. You let me know when you're ready to finish up, okay?"

Cas gives a weak smile, reaching out for him, and Benny smiles, pulling off his bloodstained gloves and gently taking his hand. Despite his initial reservations about the man, he knows Dean wouldn't trust anybody like this, and for now that's good enough for him too. Sitting between the two of them is comforting, and despite his exhaustion and the pain still sparking across his back, he knows that the two of them will keep him safe. He takes another minute to himself before nodding slowly. "Okay. I'm ready."

Benny nods, putting on clean gloves and carefully spreading cool cream over the wounds, and though Cas hisses occasionally, he manages to stay relaxed. "I told you this part was easier," Benny chuckles, wiping his hands off on a towel. "Now, let's get you bandaged up. Dean, can you help him sit up for a minute?" Dean nods, carefully holding him upright as Benny places a layer of gauze and then wraps a bandage around his torso. "Alright. How's that feel?"

"Okay," Cas answers wearily. "It still hurts, but it's not as bad."

"Well that's an improvement," Benny answers. "And I think it's probably as good as we're going to get tonight. Once it's had some time to set we'll let it air out a little, and tomorrow we can probably try numbing it. But for now, we'll let you rest. I'm sure you're exhausted."

Cas nods in agreement, humming softly as Dean carefully cleans him up and helps him change into pajamas. When he glances back at Benny, something shiny catches his eye, and he frowns. "W-What's that?" he asks nervously.

Benny glances up, following Cas' gaze to the syringe in his hand. "No need to panic," he says softly. "It's just a little something to help you relax. You need to sleep, but I know you're in pain and you got a lot of adrenaline running through you right now. It won't knock you out or anything like that. It'll just calm you down enough to fall asleep. It's up to you."

Cas considers it for a moment, glancing up at Dean. "It's your choice, sweetheart. I know it's safe, if you want it. Benny wouldn't hurt you."

He nods thoughtfully, slowly offering his arm. Benny smiles, taking it gently and carefully injecting the solution. "There you go, buddy. You get some rest, alright? You'll be okay."

Cas gives a sleepy nod, relaxing against Dean's chest. "Stay?" he murmurs.

"Of course," Dean answers, kissing his forehead softly. "I love you, Cas."

"Love you too."

He drifts off quickly, exhausted by pain and fear. Dean sighs softly, stroking lightly through his hair. "Benny, man, thank you. I don't know what I would've done without you."

"I'm sure you would've managed, but it's no problem. I know you didn't want to take any chances with him. I'm always here to help." He smiles fondly at the sleeping man in Dean's lap. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you this happy, brother. You really love him, huh?"

"Yeah," Dean murmurs. "I really do. I am happy."

Benny nods. "He is a good one. Strong, too."

Dean can't help the proud smile that slips across his face. "He is, isn't he? So, you really think he's going to be okay?"

"Well, he's not going to feel great for a while, and you'll have to take it easy and keep an eye on it, but he should be just fine. Tomorrow we'll look at it again, and I can give you a cream to use that'll numb it a little. But he's a tough little guy. He'll be just fine." Dean nods, relieved, and Benny pauses. "Any info on the guy that did this?"

Dean shakes his head. "I didn't get a lot of details. I was mostly just worried about him and trying to keep him calm, and he wasn't really coherent much. We can ask tomorrow. Whoever it is, they'll be sorry they touched him."

"I'm sure they will. We'll make sure he pays, I promise you that." He sighs. "You should get some sleep too. I'm sure he'll be knocked out until the morning."

"Yeah, you're probably right." He pauses. "Hey, Benny? Did you want to maybe…stay the night? It's late anyway, and since you're coming back in the morning…there's a guestroom down the hall…"

Benny chuckles. "And you don't want to be alone if something happens?" he guesses. Dean smiles sheepishly. "Yeah, sure. I'd love to. Sweet dreams, Dean."