Me and my friend were just bumming around and stupid things happened. My friend (Kerri) was playing with the guitar and I started singing… so I wrote it down. Lol.

I own Robert Pattinson.

Robert: No you don't.

You like strong crazy girls?

Robert: … Yes.

Fine then, you can own me.

Robert: O.o

I've mastered that look Mr. Don't even TRY and use it on me.

We all know,

That you love those hair extensions

Almost as much

As your penis implant

When the filming stopped

You had a party with Nick Jonas

And it rocked.

Oh, You may regret it

But now he's got a baby

And you're paying all the child support

OH ROBERT!

Don't stop being you

Because one day very, very soon

Kristen or Nikki will have one too.

Maybe you can go back

And talk to your Spanish fan

I'm sure she's forgotten

Your horrible dinner plan.

This is just a message,

From kerri and HorribleStan

Oh, Robert, don't stop

no don't stop

doing what you planned.

We all know

That you died

In Harry Potter

But now your ugly

And your hair is a mess

But that's okay

We know

You like wearing a dress.

And now your makeup

Is whiter than a cloud

And I hope your

Parents are really, really proud.

Going from two daughters,

To suddenly having three,

Must have been quite stressful

But now you're finally free.

We know you discovered hair gel,

And thought it pretty cool

And now you're a famous film star

Your making young girls drool.

I tried to walk to school

And found Twilight fans ahead,

Now when I leave my house,

I paddle there instead.

That's where we finished. Isn't it HILARIOUS!