Don't Ever Forget 9 ~ The First Step

Chief Swan's face instantly blanched and it was almost impossible to tell if he was even breathing for a moment. "Everything right by her? Please don't say there's something more to tell me."

My eyes widened and I quickly shook my head. I should have chosen my words better, knowing full well his deepest fear for Bella; to become pregnant, forced to get married too soon and regretting it for the rest of her life. "No, sir. Nothing like that. It's just that I want Bella there with me, living with me. And I know how sudden this may seem and we're really young to be considering things like this. But I want to take care of her in every way I can and I don't want to simply live together. I've just been raised with the belief that the first woman I lived with outside of my parents' home would be my wife, as it should be."

He sighed heavily, his eyes falling to his lap and shaking his head. "I can't say I'm entirely surprised. I just wasn't expecting anything like this so soon. This is a very serious decision, son. Not one to be taken lightly."

"I can assure you, I'm not. I've been thinking about this for quite a while," I replied, rubbing my palms along my thighs to dry them of the nervous perspiration. "I know that Bella is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I respect her too much to just 'live in sin' with her."

Unexpectedly, he burst out in a single laugh, completely breaking my train of thought and he brought his eyes up to meet mine. "Are you sure you're only eighteen? I haven't heard that phrase since I was about your age."

I chuckled nervously and shrugged. "She just deserves something better than just shacking up somewhere with her boyfriend. And as my wife in the Army, I could provide everything she needs for her and take care of her the way I want to. You wouldn't have to worry about her, Chief Swan."

His hand ran along his jaw as he sat in deep thought, his eyes still locked on me. "I know you love her. I could see that plain as day even a year ago. I trust you with her, you've earned that much. But I would be lying if I said I didn't have at least some misgivings about my daughter getting married so young. I don't want to see her giving up her entire future."

"I understand, sir," I said with a sigh, fighting to keep my hand from dragging over my hair with the defeat coursing through me.

"However," he continued and my eyes shot back up to him, finding a thoughtful expression on his face. "I also can't deny that it would make me feel better than 'shacking up with her boyfriend.' But are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes, sir. Absolutely sure," I replied with a certain nod, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the small ring box, setting it on the desk. "I've put a lot of thought into it, and I've been holding onto this since right after I got to Maryland. But I couldn't give it to her without your blessing."

Chief Swan hesitantly reached across the desk, taking the box between his fingers and bringing it in front of him. I held my breath as he opened it—the ring wasn't anything extravagant, just a simple solitaire with a silver band. But it was something that I bought with my own resources, with Bella in mind. As it should have been done.

"I think she'll love it, Edward," he finally stated, a smile stretching across his face and looking to me with the trace of restrained tears in his eyes as he set the closed box back in front of me. "And for the love of God, stop calling me 'sir.' If you're going to be my son-in-law, you can at least call me Charlie."

x-x-x

Before Bella arrived for Christmas Eve, I sat down with my parents to have a similar discussion with them, but I was not prepared for the reaction I got. My mother began to cry and left the room, as if I was telling her all over again that I was enlisting, rather than asking my girlfriend to marry me. My father patted my shoulder as he stood to follow her upstairs and I heard their voices through the door of their bedroom.

"Esme, this isn't a bad thing," he said in his calm, gentle tone.

"How can you say that? They are just children!" she exclaimed, her tears evident in her voice.

"Edward is old enough to risk his life for his country, and he is certainly old enough for this. He's not a boy anymore, and hasn't been for a long time," my father replied in a tone I had never heard him take with my mother—he sounded almost angry. "Emmett isn't that much older than Edward, and he's married and gone. Whether it happens now or ten years from now, someday, Edward is going to get married, too. Have kids, and a life of his own. He's grown up, Esme. And there's a lot worse thing that could happen than marry the girl he loves. We couldn't ask much better for our son than Bella."

My mother was silent for several minutes aside from her sobs, and my dad reappeared downstairs in the living room beside me. "It'll be all right, Edward. You know your mother. When do you plan on asking Bella?"

My forehead creased at his question and the sudden shift in topic. It was then that I noticed the increased lines around his eyes, but not from smiling. He looked tense and strained, and appeared more tired than I'd seen him in years. "I-I'm not sure. But is everything okay with you, Dad?"

His hand came to my face in a fatherly gesture as I looked up at him and he made an attempt at a smile. "Don't worry yourself over me, son. I'm happy for you. And once your mother finally comes around, she'll probably be the first in line to help start planning the wedding. I think that ring would be an excellent Christmas present for a certain little lady."

I watched him walk away, hearing his office door close behind him upstairs and finally taking a deep breath before rising myself. I made my way to my room, rolling my neck against the tension built there from my mother's unexpected behavior. Bella was going to be arriving in a little under an hour, and I couldn't let her see me that way again. She would begin asking questions as she had the night before in the pool and I had no idea how else I would be able to explain it. And if anything was imperative to get absolutely right and perfect in our relationship for years to come, it would be the day I asked her to spend the rest of her life with me.

My fingers closed around the vinyl fabric covering something I had not laid eyes on, let alone touched, in months—my piano.

BPOV

I stepped inside the Cullen's house, after receiving a line of teasing from Emmett because I still knocked on the door instead of coming right in, and heard a sound echoing down the stairs I hadn't heard in far too long—Edward was playing his piano. I quietly crept up to his room and stood undetected in the doorway, just watching him.

The sight alone was one I had missed; even if it was a rare one at that. His long fingers running fluidly over the keys, lips pursed in concentration and his neck bent forward ever so slightly; it was an image that had been burned into my memory from the very first time I'd seen him play. Yet, even that was not what held my attention so utterly and even brought tears to my eyes.

Edward's choice of song, a version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" I'd never heard, was powerful in itself, but combined with the creasing of his forehead and the tenseness of his jaw, it was a little disconcerting. He looked almost worried and that in turn worried me.

I walked up behind him, bringing my hands to rest on his shoulders, but he didn't miss a beat. A tiny smirk appeared on his lips and he lifted his head slightly to rest back against me.

"It's about time. I thought you were never going to come away from that doorway," he said with a chuckle, keeping his fingers moving over the keys while looking up at me.

I smiled, leaning over to brush his lips with mine and then hugging my arms around his shoulders as he played the final notes of the song. His hand rose, entwining his fingers with mine and he settled his head back against me more. "Well, I thought about hanging back there for a while. The view was fantastic, after all. How'd you know?"

"I always know when you're nearby, baby," he whispered as he lifted our joined hands from his shoulder, pressing his lips to my palm. "Being away from you has only made me more acutely aware of you."

His words made my smile broaden and I nuzzled my face against his neck, breathing him in, still unable to absorb the fact that he was actually there. I could touch and kiss him, and he was safe in my arms. I tried my hardest to simply concentrate on that, without the nagging in the back of my head, reminding me that, once again, it was temporary. I stepped around the bench to sit on his lap, kissing him full on the mouth and running my fingers along his scruffy jaw. I felt his fingers grip firmly on my hip, his other hand reaching up to lace in my hair to hold me against him, sucking lightly at my lower lip. "Miss me much?"

Edward smirked against my lips as his fingertips massaged my scalp and I nearly moaned at the pleasurable feel of it. "You have no idea, Bella."

I opened my eyes to look at him with the sudden change in the tone of his voice, one I hadn't been expecting. The dimming light of the room with the falling dusk only exemplified his features, and what I saw there worried me a little. The shadows around his eyes were deeper than usual, and even with the short length of his hair, it somehow managed to become completely unkempt. And his hold around my waist tightened slightly as our foreheads rested together.

"Hey," I whispered, running my thumb along his cheek but he never looked at me. "Edward, what's the matter?"

Edward shook his head slowly, taking a deep breath and opening his eyes, the mask of a smile appearing on his lips. "Nothing, baby. Just didn't sleep well last night. Not used to being in an actual comfortable bed anymore."

I raised an eyebrow at him and was about to speak again when he pressed his lips back to mine, silencing me. Under any other circumstances, I would have called him on it, but I just couldn't bring myself to right then. I'd barely had him in my arms for thirty-six hours, and I was unable to say a word. Besides, it was Christmas Eve, and I wanted to enjoy the little moment of peace we had before we'd be called back downstairs for dinner and gift exchange, since Rose and Emmett were returning to her family's home that night.

I shifted my body to straddle his legs, our kiss gaining heat with each passing second and his hands lowering to grasp my hips. Holding him as tightly as I could, I still didn't feel close enough, but all too soon, our time was cut short by the sound of his mother's voice echoing up the stairs.

"Coming, Mom," Edward called back to her with a heavy sigh and lifted us both from the bench. His eyes held mine as I unhooked my legs from around his waist and he kissed me gently once more before my feet touched back down on the floor. "I swear, we will have some time alone together tonight. Once my brother leaves, we are out of here."

I chuckled softly and took his face in my hands, rising up on my toes to brush his lips with mine. "I love you. I'm just glad you're here."

Edward seemed more hesitant than usual to leave my side all evening, from the second we left his bedroom. In fact, the entire atmosphere of the Cullen house seemed strange and tense, even Emmett, which was extremely odd. It was the complete opposite of what I'd expected with the whole family being together for the holiday, even if just for the evening, and I really couldn't understand it. Edward's statement about his mother's behavior began echoing through my head, and I slowly began to see what he was talking about the day before.

The previous Christmas, everything had been so different, even with Emmett being away at college and Edward's enlistment. There was a lot more laughing, the mood was lighter…not so much anymore. And it was very unnerving. Esme kept giving me looks across the room that was definitely a far cry from the loving, almost to the point of clingy, vibe I had gotten from her over the previous few weeks. While not contemptuous or angry either, it still had me holding tight to Edward's arm by the end of night, until Carlisle finally noticed and excused themselves for the evening. Emmett and Rosalie took off shortly thereafter, leaving the room still and silent and me completely alone with Edward.

I glanced over to him and his head was resting back with his eyes closed, appearing tense even when I ran the backs of my fingers along his jaw. If he even noticed that I touched him at all, he never so much as hinted at it, until I leaned toward him and brushed my lips against his cheek. He moved into the touch and turned his head to kiss me soundly, yet still gently, but all too soon, he pulled away with a disgruntled sigh. "I love you."

Edward's eyes opened to look at me just as I felt a tear escape down my cheek. His forehead tightened as he brought his hand to my face, brushing the trail away with his thumb. I felt so stupid, crying for no apparent reason, but it seemed as if a floodgate of emotion had erupted inside me, and I needed him so much in that moment. "I love you, too, baby. I'm sorry about all this tonight."

"It's not your fault," I replied, shaking my head. "You just still seem a million miles away."

"This is not how I wanted to spend Christmas with you, that's all. We should be enjoying the limited time we have together, not walking around on eggshells constantly," he said, his teeth clenching as he rested his forehead against mine.

I sighed, gently taking his hand and standing from the couch. "Come on, let's get out of here for a while. We can go back to my house and exchange our gifts there."

I thought the suggestion would calm him at least a little, but he actually seemed to blanch slightly, and his grip tightened a bit on my hand, almost frozen in his spot. Just as quickly, he appeared to relax and nod, clearing his throat as he stood to join me and pecking my cheek with his lips. "Sure. Just let me grab our coats and … everything from my room real quick. Be right back."

Before I could even respond, he shot from the room and ran upstairs. I made slow hesitant steps toward the door to wait for him, trying to make sense of his behavior just then. His mood fluctuations were so drastic and swift, I could barely wrap my mind around it even then. Men are so strange, I thought to myself.

When he didn't come right back down, and I didn't hear any movement from above me, I began to make my way toward the stairs. I'd barely touched my foot to the second step when I saw him appear suddenly at the top, shaking his head sharply. "Sorry, I just misplaced something. You ready?"

I nodded silently as he helped me into my jacket and then took my hand to lead me outside. "Do you just want to take your car and I can come back for mine tomorrow?"

Edward began shaking his head again, and I felt my heart sink a little more. I'd thought he'd want to spend even the few extra minutes completely alone with me before we were again in a parental's company, even if we did manage to steal away to my room. The door would still be open, and I couldn't remove the image in my head of my father sitting in the kitchen below, with his head tilted slightly toward the ceiling to listen for the first hint of a creaking bedspring or inappropriate sounds from either one of us. Even though my dad insisted that he trusted me, and Edward, I didn't know how much I believed that. Yet as I moved to let go of his hand, he pulled me back toward him and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "I still want to spend time with you tomorrow, just not back here."

I pulled back to look up at him and his eyes met mine a moment before his lips did. "Okay, I understand … I think."

"See you in a few minutes," he said with an odd smile and released me, rummaging in his jacket pocket for his keys as he made his way to his car.

The drive back to my house was filled with a nervous tension that I couldn't shake. I periodically looked to my rearview mirror, and with each illumination of his face from the passing street lights, I swore I saw him talking, possibly even yelling, inside his car. And when he still hadn't relaxed much by the time we arrived at my house, I seriously began to think that Christmas Eve was just going to be a bust.

"Hey, kiddo. Didn't expect you around here until much later," my dad said as we walked into the house and I set the bag in my hand at my feet.

"Yeah, Edward and I just decided to hang out here for a while tonight and exchange presents and stuff. Mrs. Cullen didn't seem much up for company this evening," I explained and then noticed my father's shift in expression as his eyes locked on Edward, who stood stiffly beside me.

"Oh. Right. I see. Sue?" he said in an almost stammering voice, sliding his arm around her waist, while never taking his eyes off Edward. "How about we head over to your place for a bit?"

At first, Sue looked about as confused as I was, but one glance at my dad and she began to nod. "Yeah, I did forget the eggnog tonight, so we'd have to go back anyway."

Okay, not only are men strange, but now, it's afflicted Sue as well. Perfect. Didn't think this night could get any more awkward.

After they hurried out the door, I turned to face Edward with a pointed look and he held his hands up defensively. "I swear, I have no idea."

"Yeah," I replied sarcastically, folding my arms over my chest. "You know, because it's completely natural for Christmas Eve to turn into the Twilight Zone, and my father to leave his daughter alone in a house with her boyfriend voluntarily. And all as he's looking at said boyfriend. Of course."

Edward sighed and took my hand to unlock my arms, pulling me closer to him. The knuckles of his other hand gingerly brushed along the edge of my face, and it would have had its normal calming effect on me if it hadn't been for the look in his eyes. My fingers rose to curl around his, shaking my head nervously.

"Edward, you're really making me nervous. You're blowing so hot and cold, what's going on?" I asked, my eyes shifting between his.

He inhaled deeply and released it in a slow breath, weaving his fingers with mine. "I guess I'm just really nervous about how you'll like your present."

I looked at him quizzically, moving with him as he led me by the hand to the couch and lowered me down beside him. "Wait. Mine first."

I felt his gaze follow me as I crossed the room again, crouching down beside the bag on the floor and retrieving a wrapped, medium sized box from inside. I was determined to ease the tension surrounding us, and could see that it almost immediately worked as I set the box in his lap. His features relaxed slightly as his eyes lowered to it and then looked back to me as I sat down beside him again. "Within the fifty dollar limit we agreed to, right?"

"Well within. Parts of it, nothing at all, actually," I replied, nodding my head and watched as he began tugging at the paper. When he finally got the box open, his eyebrows rose abruptly at the "care package" I'd put together for him.

Beneath the container of homemade cookies I'd made for him, there was a photo of us from Emmett and Rose's wedding in a frame I'd decorated with tiny seashells I'd collected along the beach, which earned a smile from him until the shock replaced it again. He lifted the frame as I tried to contain my blush while he extracted the Victoria's Secret catalog and the tiny bottle of "warming massage oil". He cleared his throat and shifted slightly in his seat before chancing a look over at me. "Really, baby? You think Victoria's Secret is what does it for me, huh?"

My lips twitched at his slightly amused tone, a little more relief settling in on me. "Just open it."

Edward's eyes moved hesitantly from mine and opened the magazine, and a half dozen photos fell onto his lap. "Oh you play dirty."

After his reaction to the pictures I'd sent him before, an idea sprang into my head. While I didn't have an abundance of lingerie at my disposal at seventeen years old, I knew that variety could accomplish just as much. So I'd taken several pictures of myself in that nightgown he loved, in various positions on my bed, in my chair, and even a couple lying on the rug. "They are for your eyes only. And when those aren't enough, you can open this."

He watched as I lifted a sealed pink envelope from the bottom of the box, waving it twice before settling it back inside and kissing his jaw. "And what would be in there?"

I shook my head with my finger pressed to his lips, knowing that he would rip it open right then and there if I informed him of what lay inside. The contents of the letter I'd written him and extra photographs accompanying it, showing a little more skin, definitely had the potential to shift the atmosphere of the night even more. And that was the last place that our entire focus should be that evening, and despite how close we'd become, I still might find myself trying to hide under the couch. It was bad enough that I was already outwardly supplying my boyfriend with the means to get himself off as a Christmas present. "Not while I'm right in front of you, okay?"

An easy smile returned to his features and he pressed a kiss to my fingertip before I let it fall from his face, kissing my lips softly before packing up the box again. "You realize these are probably gonna be gone by tomorrow, right?"

I laughed as he held up the container of cookies again. "Don't worry, I'll make you more before you leave."

Edward set the box by his feet and then shifted his body toward me, with a much smaller one in his hand. His smile faded slightly as he picked at the silver wrapping without looking back up to me. "I really had no idea what you get you for Christmas, Bella. Everything just seemed wrong, or too cliché, or just plain lame. So…"

"Oh no, you didn't go over our fifty dollar limit, did you?" I asked with a heavy sigh.

"No, not exactly," he replied, setting the box in my hands while his shook slightly.

"And what does 'not exactly' mean?" I retorted skeptically, sliding my finger beneath the paper's edge and popping it loose. I lifted the lid to the box and released a gasp, my eyes returning sharply to Edward. "Liar."

"Nope, the tags ran me forty-five," he replied with a smirk as he lifted a set of dog tags from the box that were almost identical to the ones I'd given him the year before, so I knew he wasn't lying about the cost. He slipped them around my neck and I narrowed my eyes at him after I'd gotten a better look at them. "And as for the engraving, a buddy of mine did it for nothing, so I'm off the hook."

Tears filled my eyes as I lowered them again to look at the tags. On one, there was a pair of boots engraved with "Edward" inscribed on the back, and on the other bearing my name, a rose encased by a heart. I smiled and took Edward's face between my hands, kissing him firmly and then sliding my arms around his neck. "You had no need to be nervous, baby. I love them, they're beautiful."

I felt Edward's hand run along my back and sides, as well as his deep draw of breath. "That's not exactly what I was nervous about, baby. Though I'm glad you like them."

I placed my hands on his shoulders, pushing him back from me slightly and searching his face. "Then what is it?"

Edward's fingers closed around mine and brought them to rest between us, running his thumb over the promise ring that still resided on my right hand. "Bella, you know probably more than anyone else how perfect I'm not. I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes in my life, and I feel very fortunate that, despite them, you still love and want me. I know what I said last year when I gave you this, and at the time it felt right. But a lot has changed in the last few months, and we need to change with it."

I held my breath, unable to respond as my hands shook in his, and as if he could sense exactly what I was thinking and feeling, he held them both between his securely.

"I may have been lax in some of my morals in the past, but there are some things that have never changed. Most especially when it came to when I found the right girl … woman for me. And I've known for a long time that it's you, but everything is moving so fast now. I want you with me wherever I go, Bella. But there are things I need to do first."

"Like what?" I asked, barely above a whisper, so afraid that he was going to tell me that he wasn't ready for me to join him next summer. That we would have to spend even longer apart, and just with how things had been in the last four months, I didn't know how I'd bear being away from him longer than the next eight.

"Bella, this is one thing that I never want to mess up, because I honestly don't know how I'd manage to get through a single day without you in it. So, call me old fashioned, but I had a talk with your father, asking for his blessing and permission," Edward said softly, pausing and reaching into his pocket again, and this time, retrieving a much smaller box—velvet and unwrapped. He turned one of my hands over and rested it in my palm, but I found myself unable to move or breathe or think at the creak of the top lifting. I allowed my eyes to lower to its contents and I pinched my lips together at the sight of the simple, solitaire ring settled inside—simple, yet so beautiful and perfect. "I really do want to take you with me wherever I go after this. I want to come home to you every single day, to never spend another night without you beside me. But I'd also like to share our first home together with you as your husband, and never have to be without you, ever. When I come back in August, I want to marry you, Isabella Swan."

I released a shaky breath and closed my eyes, unable to believe what I had just heard from Edward's lips. While most people our age were thinking about college applications and summer jobs, and hell, just the next weekend, we were sitting there contemplating the rest of our lives. I knew that someday, I wanted to marry Edward and be with him forever. But the vision of the ring that resided in the palm of my hand at that very moment reflected back at me from behind my lids, and I heard my logical brain tell me that I was only seventeen. I still had my entire future ahead of me. "And my father agreed to this? Is that why he took off so quick tonight?"

Edward's hand's came to rest on my knees as he lowered to the floor, kneeling in front of me as I opened my eyes to look at him. "I would never go against his wishes and do this without his consent. And I know that a year ago, I said we were too young for this. But I can't imagine even another year will make me love you more, or be any more ready to dedicate my life to you. But if you need some time to think about it…"

When he paused and didn't continue, I took a moment to look down at the ring again and ponder everything it represented. Would another year really make any difference? Society would probably say yes, it could make all the difference in the world. But society probably wouldn't agree with nearly every aspect of my life anyway. I was accelerating through high school a full year early, and in a long distance relationship at a very young age, with the first guy I'd ever felt any kind of commitment to. I hadn't dated much to see what else was out there. I didn't take much interest in normal, teenage things, exploring my options—I'd never felt inclined to do any of those things. I knew what I wanted with my whole heart, and it all resided in the man right in front of me. There was nothing that I could accomplish in my life without him by my side through it that wouldn't be just as possible with him there. And I'd be happy as well. I planned on spending the rest of my life with him regardless, so what was the difference if we got married in August or years from then?

"I don't need to think about it," I whispered, bringing my eyes up to meet his again and watching him search mine for a moment, before smiling at him. "I want to marry you, Edward."

Edward exhaled heavily and his face fell to my lap, his hands resting on my thighs. "Really?" he murmured against my jeans.

I brought my fingers to run gently through his hair, but his head never rose. "Did you really think I was gonna say no? Is that why you've been acting so weird?"

His face finally lifted to look at me again and shook his head. "I didn't 'think', I was petrified. Even your father's consent wasn't a guarantee that you'd say yes. And I didn't know how you'd feel tomorrow."

"And why we needed to take separate cars tonight?"

"That wasn't a complete fabrication. I honestly didn't want to subject you to any more of my mother's … issues, if you did decide to see me tomorrow. But I couldn't exactly give myself a pep talk with you right beside me, either," he replied with a shy smile.

"Oh, is that what you were doing?" I couldn't help but giggle at the memory of earlier that evening; now knowing what I was observing, it was a little humorous. Edward rolled his eyes in frustration, and I placed my hand on his face, bringing his gaze to mine. "I love you so much. And I can't wait 'til I can become your wife."

With a smile, Edward took the ring from inside the box and slid it onto my finger. He gazed at it in its place for a moment before gazing into my eyes again and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I love you, too, Bella. Always and forever," he whispered, sealing my lips with his and I couldn't hold him tight enough.

He was mine. And he would be mine forever.


There is a link to Bella's ring on my profile page for anyone who would like to see it. Take care everyone :)