Just Let Me Wake Up Already
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never have, never will. Unless JK Rowling wants to give it to me for a very early birthday present? xD
A Chocolate Frog to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter: Evelyns Journey, TheCresentMoonWriter, My Misguided Fairytale, xXTwilight PrincessXx, LestatsLittleGirl, irene0222, MioneRocks, ElizabethRoy, 00Jade, and Sakura Takanouchi. Thank you all so much!
Evelyns Journey, the kiss in this chapter is for you! Enjoy! xD
This story has now reached over 4000 hits! Thank you everyone!
Calling tears from deep inside, oh, you're so exquisite
And in the mirror, all midnight eyes.
Oh, If I could remain, but it's just a visit. All midnight eyes
read "vacancy"
Twisted, twisting
To the lovely dancing lights, I beg "May I cut in?" but they never stop playing
"their song"
Of a joyous soul they sing
I've heard whispers. On a freezing note, I resonate
Just like romantic verses
Just like a joyous end
Just like a memory: it twists me
"This Celluloid Dream," A.F.I
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
--Moulin Rouge
Recap of Chapter Eight:
But she had no words, because it was completely illogical. There was no reason anyone should want to dream about Tom Marvolo Riddle.
But apparently, he had wanted to dream about her as much as she had wanted to dream about him.
Chapter Nine: A Giant Squid of a Problem, Part II
Hermione swallowed, not liking where this conversation was going. She hated confronting her demons, and she hated to be proven wrong.
"So…how is that even possible?" She asked weakly, her voice breaking as she looked back into his eyes. Again, they were unreadable. He was still smiling slightly; like the kind of smile of a person who knows a secret someone else doesn't.
Tom still hadn't replied. Hermione tried another tack. "So was it my dream, or yours?" She asked, although she had a suspicion she already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him.
"Honestly, haven't I already told you this?" Tom asked, his voice showing a hint of aggravation. "It was your dream," he told her sharply. "Do you think I would subject my own mind to that foolishness? You came up with it all, it was your mind that constructed that prison."
A scathing retort was on the tip of Hermione's tongue, but she kept it in. A prison? At least he didn't have to wear that ridiculous dress, Hermione thought. It could definitely have been worse, at least there was no corset. Talk about your prisons there.
Suddenly Hermione's mind went dizzy with revelation. He said that he was in a prison, does that mean he was under her control while he was there? That all his actions were only for her benefit? That he acted how she wanted him to act?
"So that wasn't really you," Hermione pointed out, noticing with a cringe how disappointed her voice sounded. At Tom's exasperated look, Hermione clarified quickly, "It was you, but those weren't your actions."
"Yes, thanks to you," Tom replied bitterly.
If Hermione thought she was dizzy before, it was nothing compared to the sudden lightheaded rush she felt at her newest revelation. The kiss...does that mean it only happened because I wanted it to happen?
At Hermione's slightly shocked expression, Tom's smirk returned. "So, enjoyed it the first time more than you let on, did you?" He asked mockingly.
Hermione glared at him, not bothering to argue against that when the facts spoke the truth so clearly. Some part of her had wanted Tom to kiss her like that. He was there because she wanted it; he did the things he did because she had wanted him to. She was sure that this power role reversal did not sit well with Tom, and braced herself for his wrath.
She closed her eyes tightly, opening them after a second when she noticed Tom wasn't saying anything. She took a step back sharply when she realized that he had moved nearer to her and was about as close as when they had been dancing in the dream.
"Although," he asked, the smirk clearer on his face as he leaned over her. "I can't say I complain with my script. If I would have been free to do what I wanted, I would've done something very similar."
"Oh?" Hermione asked; her throat had once again become drier than sandpaper.
"Only…I'm sure it would have lasted longer," Tom hissed, his mouth next to her ear. Hermione blushed scarlet. Even though she technically held the power because of the dream, he still managed to take the control back in a flash.
"In case you haven't noticed, Tom," Hermione replied bravely, gathering all of her Gryffindor courage. "This is reality. We're not in a dream. What makes you think I'd let you kiss me again?" She glared stubbornly at him.
If it was possible, Tom's smirk deepened. "I don't think you'll try very hard to stop me," he told her. Although his voice was softer, the words still held an intensity that scared her. "But do try," he continued. "I love a good challenge."
Hermione gasped as soon as she heard the words, her surprise increasing when Tom grabbed one of her arms below the shoulder, taking advantage of her momentary surprise to lean forward and kiss her.
Hermione's first instinct was to push him away, but one of her arms locked in his made struggling difficult, and she got the impression that it would only encourage him anyway.
Like in her dream, his other hand had moved to the base of her head, his fingers dancing over her neck as he cradled her head in his palm, holding her close to him as his fingers moved to tangle themselves in her loose hair.
Oh gosh, reality is a million times better, Hermione thought as Tom deepened the kiss, tilting her head as he nibbled lightly on her lower lip, snaking his tongue into her mouth.
Hermione was lost in a haze of emotion; Tom's kisses always made her feel like her stomach was soaring above the clouds. Although currently there seemed to be a lightning storm going on in those clouds as Tom continued to kiss her, the hand on her arm rubbing circles over the fabric of her robe with his thumb.
Hermione was responding almost as intensely as Tom was; what resolve she had left when their dream kiss had been brought up vanished instantly the second his lips touched hers. He was rougher than his dream counterpart; but truthfully Hermione had to admit she didn't want gentle. This was one aspect where she actually wanted Tom to take control.
They broke apart, Tom panting heavily. Hermione had to respond with a smirk of her own as their eyes met.
And the best part? Technically, I don't need to breathe…
"Hmm, reality is better," Tom said after a pause, echoing her earlier thoughts perfectly.
Hermione was at a loss for words. It was like nothing had changed between them at all. But what was I expecting? Hermione thought. For Tom to suddenly poof! into a prince? He's not a frog.
"I'll see you later," Tom said with a smirk, noticing how distant Hermione appeared. Her eyes narrowed as he walked away, turning on the path and heading down the path that led around the hill they stood at the base of instead of walking back up to the school.
That arrogant, sneaky, egotistical,—great kisser!—her mind interjected. She sat down on the grass with a huff, already trying to push the memory away. Her lips still screamed for the contact of his, but she simply crossed her arms over her knees in an attempt to cross out the betraying thoughts.
Her logistical side took over; the only part of her brain whose nerves hadn't been fried by that amazing kiss. What the HELL am I doing kissing him? She thought. This is Lord Voldemort! Ring any bells? The man who killed Harry's parents! Who killed countless other people!
She bit her lip hesitatingly. Technically, he's not yet. He hasn't done any of those things yet. True, he has killed a few people, but I can't hold his future acts against him now.
She sighed. "I can't hate him anymore," she whispered, feeling the wind pick up around her as it rustled her hair.
She straightened suddenly, feeling the slight depression of the hill behind her leave her back reluctantly. If I don't hate him, then what do I feel?
I guess that also rules out all synonyms of 'hate,' she thought with a small laugh.
Casting a quick glance around her, she was completely certain she was alone on the path. She couldn't see or hear anyone around her.
"Well," she began, speaking her thoughts aloud. "I don't mind him, he's actually quite fun to talk to when he's not being his annoyingly patronizing self," she said as she narrowed her eyes slightly. "He's a great dancer and his kisses should probably be illegal," she finished, quashing the crooked smile that arose on her face when she thought of Tom's kisses.
So add it up and what do you get? She thought. "We're not friends by any means," she continued, leaning back against the hill. "But we're more than just acquaintances. More like a friendship of convenience."
Yeah, friends with "benefits," Hermione thought sardonically. What friends routinely kiss like that?
She was even more confused than before. What did that make them? He was obviously interested in her physically, to some extent—the kisses alone were proof of that—but why did she keep giving in? Why did she want him to do it? She was Hermione Granger! She should be above such temptation.
Dear God, she thought as a hand flew to her mouth. I can't…I can't like him, can I?
Now that she thought about it, it made perfect sense. She looked forward to seeing him when they talked, she dreamt about him dancing with her, and Amortentia even smelled like him to her! What more proof did she need?
Her breathing still hadn't stabilized, and even for a ghost her skin had turned strangely pale. Oh my gosh, I do. I don't hate Tom Riddle, I actually like him.
This can't be good.
But it's just like, she clarified quickly. It's not L—that other thing. No way.
But she was already trapped. Admitting she liked him was the first step across the plank hovering over a fathomless ocean. She couldn't keep denying this; even now she could still feel the sensation of his lips on hers. He was like an addiction, and she was hooked. She felt dizzy again.
She was falling; the realization alone was enough to make her mind spin. She sighed weakly, her hands shaking slightly. What could she do? What would she do?
Just get through it, she thought. Wait for the memories to run out, and return to my own time. What else can I do?
Her first thought was that another 'meeting' in the Room of Requirement was in order, and she blushed at the thought.
Well, I can enjoy it while I can, she decided. If she was falling into a vortex she could never surface from, at least she'd have fun doing it. She knew she was sinking slowly, but worrying about it wouldn't make it any easier. If he ever found out about her feelings, he would have more power over her than she wanted to give him. He would take advantage of her again.
Looks like there'll be a party on the Titanic today, She thought with a grin.
And I don't need to worry about what he thinks, Hermione concluded. That's obvious enough. He doesn't care for me, it's simply a physical attraction. But what he could see in me I don't know.
Maybe a willing victim? She thought with a sort of bleak sarcasm.
The wind picked up again, and Hermione realized that the afternoon had almost completely wasted away. She stood up, absently brushing the sides of her robe in habit although there was no grass stuck to it like there normally would have been. She cast a wistful glance towards the castle, and then headed up the steep path up the hill. She hated confronting her demons.
Tom had returned swiftly to the Slytherin common room, the smirk still etched clearly on his face. That girl really is more of a surprise than I could have ever guessed, he thought. She gives in so easily, but I don't tire of her like all the others.
He stopped suddenly, allowing a slightly confused expression to cross his face before he masked it again with the smirk. Why does she give in? She could stop me if she truly wanted to. Instead, she does nothing.
Why is that?
Tom was confused. He could not explain Hermione's recent change in demeanor towards him. It made no sense. In all the time he'd known her, she'd always kept as much of a stoic distance from him as he'd done towards her. And then she'd pushed him in the lake…
Tom frowned slightly. He remembered the grin on Hermione's face the second before she pushed him in. It wasn't the smile of someone exacting their revenge on an enemy; rather, it was the smile of someone playing a practical joke on a friend. It seemed genuine, and was one of the first times she'd opened herself up to him.
The first time was during the dream. He still didn't think she appreciated the significance of the fact that their minds were linked that night. That she had willingly brought him into her dream and allowed him to see a side of her that she hid during the day—that showed a level of trust that Tom was completely unfamiliar with. And he still didn't know why she did it.
Tom still couldn't explain what changed between them since that dream. It's not like she could decide what she was dreaming. After all, dreams are often unexplained things, that is in their nature. Dreams represent the things that we want, and the things we can never have. Dreams represent the tangible and the intangible in our lives. Dreams are immortal and precious.
Dreams are stupid, he thought with disgust. Wishing for things that are impossible is a defense of the weak. That is why I don't dream, he reasoned. I have everything I want, and I know how to get the things I don't already have.
Another idea sparked in Tom's mind. Maybe Hermione's change in behavior means that the memories are finally running out?
He ignored the strange tang deep in his stomach, taking it for excitement at the potential of finally being rid of the annoying ghost.
She's done enough interfering in my life, he thought as he walked through the halls of Hogwarts, heading towards the Slytherin dorms. He paused in front of the stone entrance, gritting his teeth when he saw the two Malfoy brothers approaching the entrance from the other side.
What nonsense do they foolishly feel they need to share today? Tom thought, feeling particularly annoyed for some unknown reason. He had just been feeling excited about the prospect of parting ways from Hermione, so why was he so sullen?
"Hello, Tom," Aidan spoke respectfully first, his younger brother casting a nervous glance back at Aidan before hesitatingly speaking, "Tom, there's something—"
"I don't have time for this, Malfoy," Tom cut him off, turning to the stone wall and stating the password loudly, "Viridis." The wall dissolved into the wide frame they walked through, striding through to the middle of the common room. For a Tuesday, not many people were in the room, although a few younger Slytherins sat on the long green couch against one stone wall.
"We've…I've," Abraxas started to say, but Tom completely ignored him, walking up the staircase that lead to the dormitories. Within a matter of seconds, he was completely out of sight.
Abraxas turned to his brother, sighing. "Don't you notice it too? The way Tom is acting?"
Aidan looked confused, his gaze moving from the empty stairwell to his brother's inquiring expression. He shook his head.
"You don't see it? He's acting differently. Unusual. He's…" Abraxas trailed off in searching for the proper words and in hesitancy for speaking about his leader behind his back.
"He's not himself," Abraxas finished.
"I didn't notice anything wrong," Aidan said simply, earning a grimace of disgust from his brother. "It's a good thing I have all the brains in the family," he stated haughtily. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this. There's a reason Tom is acting this way, and it's beginning to affect us all."
At Aidan's still-confused expression, Abraxas heaved a sigh of annoyance. "Keep up, will you? You're almost as slow as Pollux. Whatever it is, it's affecting Tom's leadership of the Death Eaters. He's less severe, less callous. Just a couple of weeks ago we were hexing Mudbloods and enjoying the effects of the Chamber of Secrets. Now, we do nothing."
"Maybe that's where he goes off to," Aidan responded hopefully. Abraxas looked thoughtful, and then shook his head. "Listen, let's not speak of this to anyone. Okay?"
Aidan nodded his assent, and the two brothers departed; Aidan to practice his Quidditch and Abraxas to think more about the recent changes in one Tom Marvolo Riddle.
It looks like I'll be doing this on my own, Abraxas thought as he decided to practice his Transfiguration by turning one of the green-shaded crystal lamps into an elegantly translucent crystal snake. It seemed to bend and twist with his magic, then settled into a coiled shape when he withdrew it.
Yes, he thought with satisfaction. I will uncover the truth. And then, things can return to normal.
Things will be normal once again.
Tom stood at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall right after it curved away from sight from the common room. His eyes narrowed in anger.
So, little Malfoy junior thinks he has the authority to question ME? Tom thought with rage, his hands already clenched into fists at his side. His wand was safely stowed in his pocket; otherwise he'd already have hexed the insolent brat out of existence.
And what does he mean, I'm acting differently? Tom thought, anger clashing with confusion. He was walking up the stairs normally when he heard Abraxas question his demeanor. HIS demeanor! Of course, he had to stay and listen.
My followers must follow my commands resolutely. I can have no one questioning my judgment, he thought. He must be set straight.
Tom looked up thoughtfully. He needed a way to check in on the two Malfoys, and see if the younger one would spread his doubts to the others. He couldn't have that.
I don't have the time to be constantly keeping my followers in line, he thought angrily. And it's not like Abraxas will question me to my face. I need a way to be invisible...
His face suddenly lit up in a cool smirk, an idea forming perfectly in his mind. The perfect solution.
…Hermione…
Hermione headed into the castle some time later, moving to walk close to the stone walls as it was nearing dinner time and she didn't want all the students of the different Houses walking through her.
She stared wistfully after a group of laughing and smiling Gryffindors walking into the Great Hall together, then instantly pursed her lips when she caught sight of a group of Slytherins striding down the hall in front of her. She recognized the sleek blond hair of a Malfoy, and tried to ignore him as she passed, although she caught snatches of their conversation.
"…so Bole, you agree with me that…" the Malfoy was saying before his voice was drowned out by the noise from the Great Hall as Hermione passed the open door, continuing to walk further down the hall. She kept walking, trying to decide what to do next. She was hesitant to try and sleep again; for fear that she would dream again and bring Tom into the dream with her. She could never control her dreams before, so she had no way of knowing if she would dream about him again, let alone dream at all.
Oh, and here comes my nightmare, she thought jokingly as she saw Tom turn the corner and start walking down the hall towards her. Unfortunately for her, he was alone.
Damn, too late to turn around or dash off into another room, Hermione thought as her stomach lurched. She really didn't want to talk to him so soon after what had happened between them on the path outside. Maybe he won't say anything?
"I've got a job for you," he spoke out of the corner of his mouth as they drew closer. Hermione scowled.
"What am I, your errand girl? Get one of your lackeys to do it!" She spat, crossing her arms. Yup, that definitely sounded convincing.
"Unfortunately, this job involves one of my…lackeys, as you so eloquently put it," Tom said calmly, moving over to block Hermione from continuing down the hall.
His cool exterior was only serving to make Hermione even angrier. How in the hell does he manage to look so unruffled and blasé all the time? It's infuriating!
Secretly, Hermione was slightly curious as to what he could possibly want her to do that he couldn't do himself. A thought crossed her mind as she smiled slightly. What could he give her for doing it for him?
"It's not like I would do anything for you for free," Hermione said, narrowing her eyes at him. "Tell me what it is, and what you'll pay me for doing it."
Tom's amused smirk deepened as he raised an eyebrow. "Hermione, dearest, you've been spending far too much time in my company. You're acting quite like a Slytherin."
Hermione fought hard to keep from laughing. She ignored the 'dearest' comment, and especially ignored the strange feeling his saying it brought on to her, moving to the 'Slytherin' remark. Coming from him, that was a strange kind of compliment. He was, after all, the Heir of Slytherin. That alone would make him kind of an expert on the subject.
"What?" She asked, a combination of shocked, disgusted, and skeptical.
Tom responded with an amused chuckle. "I would have thought it was impossible for you too, Hermione. A bit of snake in that brave Gryffindor exterior?"
"What?" She repeated.
"Don't you want to know what it is I'm asking of you?" Tom asked, reminding her of the original point of their conversation.
"What, then?" She asked, exaggerating the 'what.'
"You're going to follow Abraxas and Aidan Malfoy, and inform me if they continue to question my actions," Tom told her matter-of-factly.
Hermione nearly burst out laughing. "What, your 'intimidation and fear' routine isn't working anymore? You want me to keep your puppets in line? Isn't that your job?" She ignored his silent glare, stifling a laugh again at his offer.
Tom backed Hermione up closer to the wall, obviously trying to prove Hermione's comment about his 'intimidation and fear routine' wrong. She glared back stubbornly, trying to prove his 'Slytherin' comment wrong.
"So," he whispered in her ear. "What would you like as payment?"
Hermione fought the shiver that threatened to race through her body at his words and the threat of his touch. Sure, there were plenty of things she wanted, but she would never bargain with Tom like this for them.
Hermione mustered her resolve and pushed Tom away from her. "Absolutely nothing, because I'm not doing this for you!"
Suddenly, another voice interrupted them. "Tom, who were you talking to?" Abraxas asked curiously from the end of the hall. Tom moved past Hermione, who was appraising Abraxas with a curious glance.
So, this is the person Tom wanted me to follow? She thought, grinning as she leaned against the wall. He's the same guy I passed earlier. This could be interesting.
"No one," Tom said, answering Abraxas' question.
"Alright," Abraxas answered unconvincingly. "Come on, let's go eat."
Tom strode past Abraxas, leading them into the Great Hall. Before walking in he turned, giving Hermione one last look. Hermione met his gaze for the second before he walked through the giant doors of the Great Hall.
She truly was sinking; and the bottomless void of the sea she described earlier was perfectly synonymous with the dark depths of Tom's eyes. She was falling for Tom Riddle.
A/N: From here on out my updating schedule won't be quite so precise, I'm approaching my end-of-year exams so it might be hard for me to put out a chapter a week of all of my current fics. Instead I'll probably alternate between this fic and Excelsior until school lets out. I'll try and make it up to you all with longer chapters!
Also, "Viridis" means 'green' in Latin, again thanks to my handy Latin translator!
And Tom isn't quite there yet with the feelings, but did anyone catch that this is the first chapter where he refers to her by her name in his thoughts instead of just "that ghost" or "infuriating Gryffindor," etc? So he's on the way! xD
Also, I am very excited this fic has so many hits, but I would absolutely love more reviews. I would love to reach 100 reviews with this chapter, I've never done that with any of my fics before. So if this chapter has inspired you or if you have anything to say about this chapter, the fic in general, concrit, etc, I'd love to hear about it. Good or bad, I'll take it all! Thank you!
Love, Kako
