Ah yes, the last days of summer! Going back to school means not as many updates for my fictions! -sigh- oh well. I bring you another chapter! I struggled with this because I promised a loyal reviewer (and one of my fav fanfic authors) that i would include her muse, Sandy in one of my chapters. It's a pointless chapter (aren't they all?) with the usual stuff, except with a sad attempt at a guest appearence! I'm sorry if this one sucks, I tried. Oh well, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters are beling to Square

Except- Sandy, Rufus' bodyguard. She is Random Reno Fangirl 05's (god I love that username XD) muse. Sorry, RRF, I tried. I read your fic over and over, and I tried to fit her in as best as possible without snapping my own characterizations in half. Just so you know RRF, I was going to add in Joe, or acaffiene high, or somethingveryrandom, but I couldn't pull it off. I hope you enjoy though.


"RENO!" Rude's thundering voice echoed through the hall, followed by fits of laughter from the culprit. Tseng could only shake his head and put down his pen. He had a headache, and wished the office could have some peace and quiet for one minute. He stood up and walked over to the door of his office, poking his head out to see if he could catch a glimpse of the chaos. He looked just in time to see Reno skid through a corner, coming to an abrupt stop as he hit the adjacent wall. He started running again, passing Tseng with a "Hey boss!" that faded in and out as quickly as he did. Tseng blinked as he watched Reno turn the corner at the other end of the hallway in the same fashion, with a dull thud as he hit the wall. He looked back to see Rude turn the corner, much more gracefully, and start running after his prey. The enraged bald man passed Tseng and turned the corner, leaving the Turk leader to stand there, confused. He stepped into the hallway and watched the spot where he saw them both leave his sight, still blinking dumbly. After a moment he heard footsteps behind him and swiftly turned to see Elena, looking slightly peeved.

"Is Reno expendable?" he asked with a huff. Tseng groaned and rubbed his throbbing temple.

"Unfortunately, no." he responded. "What did he do to Rude this time?"

Elena sighed, shaking her head. "He's just bored. He keeps poking Rude on the forehead and impersonating a chocobo. I think Rude finally snapped." she explained. Tseng raised an eyebrow.

"Rude is still afraid of chocobos? I thought he was over that." he questioned, causing Elena to shake her head.

"Nope, and Reno is making it worse." Elena sighed and pulled some blonde hair out of her eyes. "Are you sure we can't kill him?"

Tseng cracked a small smile, finding amusement in this. "Sorry, but no. I'll keep him busy for today. As soon as he becomes expendable, I'll let you know."

Elena forced a smile and turned to walk back to her office. She stopped after a few steps and turned her head. "Can we at least give him to Hojo for a few hours?"

"Go, Elena." Tseng said in an authoritative voice, shaking his head. As the blonde walked away, defeated, Tseng heard the sounds of the chase coming back towards him. As Reno slid into his view, then hit the wall, Tseng wondered if he should just let him run until he tired himself out. Impossible, he remembered Reno drinking coffee an hour earlier.

The Turk leader caught the fleeing man by the back of the shirt as he tried to run past him. The redhead was taken by surprise, and his feet slipped out from under him. He hung by the back of his blazer, looking up at Tseng with an innocent look. He pointed at Rude, who had slowed his pace and was walking towards them, fists clenched.

"He started it." Reno stated, still looking innocent. Tseng twitched, still holding Reno up like one would hold a puppy by the scruff of the neck.

"Reno, why can't you, for once, just act your age?" Tseng questioned in a deathly serious tone. Rude stopped beside Tseng, and looked at Reno dangerously. The troublemaker knew he was in for it, either being pummelled to a bloody pulp by Rude, or an extended lecture from Tseng. Both seemed equally terrifying. He just gave them both his Cheshire-cat grin.

"You know you love me for it."

Rude and Tseng exchanged looks, and the Turk leader dropped his catch to the floor. "As much as I love a hot fire poker in the eye." Tseng sighed. "Wait one minute, I have a job for you, Reno." With that, the wutaiian man turned and walked into his office. He reappeared a moment later with a file full if paper. Reno, who had pulled himself to his feet, gave a long, childish whine.

"Not paperwork…"

"No, it's some papers I need the president to sign. Take these up to him, and bring them back when he's done so, alright?" He handed the folder to Reno.

"Yes, sir!" Reno exclaimed with a salute. He turned and walked down the hall, folder in hand. Tseng shook his head again.

"Seriously, why can't he act his age?" He asked, looking at Rude. The other man was readjusting his tie, which had come loose during the chase.

"I don't know." Rude sighed. "I don't even think he can count that high."

Reno stepped out of the elevator, and walked up to the desk at the other side of the room. "Cindy, my dear!" he exclaimed, causing the girl at the desk to look up. She smiled a little.

"Driving Tseng crazy again?"

"You know it!" the Turk replied as he nodded proudly. "Anywhoo, Tseng needs these papers signed by Rufus." he said, flopping the already beaten and crinkled folder on the desk. The secretary nodded.

"Go on in, then." she told him before turning back to her computer screen. After a moment, Cindy paused. "Reno, you didn't hit on me for once, what's the occasion?" she joked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Official business, miss." Reno said professionally. "I'll get back to you later!" He then turned and walked through he big oak doors, folder in hand.

"Hey, Rufus I-" Reno was cut off by a sudden tackle around the waist.

"Die, assassinating scum!" his attacker screamed. Reno scrambled away, reaching for his Electro-Mag Rod.

"Sandy! That's enough. It's just a Turk." Rufus said calmly, standing up from his chair and walking around his desk. The attacker, a blonde woman, froze, in the middle of swinging a coffee pot to crash on Reno's head. The Turk edged back from her, still sitting on the ground and clutching Mag with white knuckles.

"Still paranoid about assassinations?" he asked, looking at Rufus with one raised eyebrow. The president took the coffee pot away from the woman and set it in its place on the table.

"I've got more death-threat mail than the mailman can carry. Then again, the mailman is too busy trying to KILL ME!" Rufus ended his sentence loudly with frustration heavy on his voice.

Reno smirked a little. "Maybe your dear father was right about not ruling with fear. For some strange reason, the people don't like that." the Turk cringed, bracing himself as Sandy walked over and offered him a hand up.

"Stuff it, Turk." Rufus growled. Sandy ended up having to haul Reno up, since he was still half-cowering.

It was true, people didn't like Rufus' method of control over the public. They hated him, but frankly, he scared the crap out of them. If they don't fear him out of respect for his power, they fear him because if he finds out they don't, they're in for a world of pain. His unsympathetic and cruel outlook on people is what makes him so damn good at what he does.

"Maybe you should get more bodyguards to take down people at every door!" Reno suggested while collecting the scattered papers and shoving them, unorganized and crumpled, into the folder.

"Hey, it's not my fault you look like some punk kid." Sandy huffed, crossing her arms. Reno straightened up, pile of papers under his arm. He looked extremely offended.

"I do NOT!"

Rufus just sighed. Why did Tseng always have to send Reno? "Why are you even here?"
Reno paused, having to think for a moment. "Oh yeah!" he exclaimed like he had just remembered. He tossed the folder at Rufus, who barely caught it. "Tseng needs these signed, pronto!" he clapped his hands twice. "Chop chop!"

Rufus glared at the redhead, wondering where Sandy had hidden his gun. "Don't give me orders!" he snapped. Sandy reached over and patted the orange-blonde hair. She wrinkled her nose and wiped a mass of hair gel off her hand onto the president's shoulder.

"Just ignore him, Ru-Ru-chan." the president twitched, and Reno burst into hysterical laughter. As Rufus walked to his desk, he gave the Turk a swift kick when he passed him.

"I hate this. If I didn't have unquestioned power over everyone, I'd quit." the president mumbled as he flipped through the papers, signing each one in the appropriate places. Sandy walked over to the Turk and poked him a few times. Reno was on the floor trying to collect himself.

"Is it dead?"

"Here's hoping." Rufus growled. Reno immediately sat up, glaring at his superior.

"You're lucky Tseng wont let me kill you." he said, ending up being tackled by Sandy for threatening the president.

Rufus ignored the small struggle going on in front of him as he flipped through papers. "And you're lucky Sandy hid my gun while on a sugar high." He signed the last paper and put them back in the folder, -much more neatly than Reno did- and pushed it to the edge of the desk. "That's enough, Sandy." he told his bodyguard in monotone.

Reno brushed himself off and stuck his tongue out at the woman, who kindly returned the gesture. The Turk walked over to the desk and picked up the papers, tucking them under his arm.

"Are you going to make my day worse, or are you done here?" Rufus asked, tapping his gold pen on the desk.

"Yes." Reno mock-saluted.

"Yes sir." Rufus corrected the cocky redhead.

"Aw, there's no need to call me sir, Rufus!" Reno smirked at the president, who glared at him.

"Out." he said in a dangerously low voice. The Turk hastily turned and walked towards the door, fully knowing Rufus could and would kill him, without batting an eyelid. Well, he might freak out a little bit, getting blood out if his fancy white coat was difficult. Reno stopped to open the door, and halfway out he turned back to the young president.

"Bye, Ru-Ru-chan!" he bid the president goodbye in a sickly sweet tone.

"OUT!" Rufus roared, standing up from his chair. The door quickly slammed shut, and the nuisance was gone.


There you have it! I apologize for any OOCness, especially to you, RRF, I don't think I could do your jokes and muse justice! I tried!

And before I hear about it, I was told that a veryshort dialogue between Reno and Rufus sounded a lot like something from a harry potter book (the newest one if I'm not mistaken.) A friend who proofreads for me alerted me of this. I don't read Harry Potter, I haven't gotten past book 4, so don't get mad. I didn't know, and when I was told,I was already done, and I thought it was too cute to take out.

Reviews! You guys are Gods. Seriously. I love you guys.

Nando the RPS King: Yes, Nintendogsis addictive! Stay away!And I've never read Penny Arcade, I shall look into it though. From what you say it has my kind of humor :D thank you!

TruebornChaos: Ah yes, good point about the Nintendo and Square thing. Thank you for yet another informative review! (catch me on any other 'coarse and course' typos, k? XD)

Random Reno Fangirl 05: You're reviews always make my day! Yes, Bob is a very popular name for random things! I hope you like this chappie, I tried so hard -smacks head on desk- I hope I didn't mess up Sandy too much. I need more practise on characterization. I even added 'Ru-Ru-chan', because it's so freaking cute!
Poor Sandy! -gives her a Reno plushie- dont cry! Joe will come back!

The Tiramisu of Impending Doom: Yes, once again, Rude gets driven to insanity... and in this chapter too! Wow, poor guy. I kept the lastchapter short because I needed to work on a real chapter. That one was just me having fun. Thank you!