Chapter VIII: Shattering the Family Picture

A/N: Thank you IzzieStar! You know what you did and I am grateful for it.


As Elizabeth wearily opened her eyes, she was hit by a small sense of relief as she realised that the sun was only just rising, the light beginning to creep under the curtains. Tentatively, she turned herself to face her sleeping partner, and a small smile came to her face as she remembered the previous night. She lifted her fingers to reach out and touch his face, but faltered just millimeters away, and sighed.

Even as it was happening, she had had the lingering sense that she was making a decision that she would ultimately regret, and the morning was only proving her right. To be involved with John, again, would be even more dangerous now that it ever had been before, she realized. Even though she still cared for him so very much, loved him even, giving into that love wasn't an option for her. As much as she knew John's flirtation with Dani was trivial, it was what it represented that hurt the most. She saw that now, more than ever; John wasn't ready to be that man. Maybe he never would be. So she was letting him go because as much as he meant to her, her children meant more. Risking the little happiness that they had, on the whim of an impulsive man, was never going to happen.

With one final regretful look at him, Elizabeth slipped out of the bed to retrieve her frantically strewn clothes from the bedroom carpet, and pulling them with as gently and quietly as possible to try to ensure that he wouldn't be woken by her movement. With her shoes dangling in her hand, Elizabeth reached for the lock, closing her eyes in fear and frustration as the click of it filled the room. When she was confident enough that he hadn't been woken, she eased the door open and crept through it, closing it with equal ease. With the door closed, John finally felt that it was safe to open his eyes, and was struck by the familiarity of passionate sex, followed by sneaking around during the early hours of the morning with Doctor Elizabeth Weir.

John was not the only person who had been struck by this thought, as Elizabeth closed the door to her own room and leaned against the coolness of the wood. It had certainly been a long time since this sense of panic had gripped her stomach as she had snuck through corridors in the hope that nobody would see her. With a glance at the clock which told her that it was just after six, Elizabeth threw her key onto the dressing table before turning the shower on in the bathroom and removing her clothes, which she quickly threw into the suitcase that was still half packed on her bed, desperate to rid herself of anything that reminded her.

In the bathroom again, she wiped away the condensation that had formed on the mirror and eyed the flash of red across her neck, bringing her fingers to it absent-mindedly. Somewhere in the bottom of her make-up bag was a crusty bottle of concealer that would cover up the final memento of the previous night and nobody would ever have any cause to suspect.

When she was showered, and her skin was tinged with the pinkness of thorough washing, Elizabeth gathered her children's clothes and piled them on the dressing table beside the suitcase. With meticulous precision, she took each individual item of clothing, folded it and placed it in the bag. The irony of how robotic this action seemed and felt wasn't lost on her and she laughed slightly, thinking of the IOA, tucked away behind their desks somewhere.

Just after seven, when the cases were packed and zipped, she heard the banging of little fists at her door and quickly rushed across the room to greet her children who she was genuinely delighted to see.

"Were they okay?" Elizabeth asked Jack, with both children still engulfed in her arms.

"They were great. Did everything get sorted out?" Jack queried.

Elizabeth didn't even blink, years of diplomatic training allowing her to blandly say, "Yes."

"Good."

"Okay, shall we go and get some breakfast?" Elizabeth asked her children.

The children both nodded eagerly, and Elizabeth took each of them by the hand, struggling to keep up as they skipped and ran along. It occurred to her their looming departure still hadn't hit the twins yet and, seeing how happy they were, she decided not to remind them. It could wait, and there was no sense in ruining the last few hours of their vacation. She was so determined to ensure that they wouldn't go through any unnecessary upset that she didn't bat an eyelid when JJ stated his intention to have three sausages, scrambled eggs, and "lot's of hash browns" when they sat down at their table and humored Olivia when she asked to taste her coffee, which she still took black and her daughter immediately regretted.

"Daddy!" JJ called out.

Elizabeth turned to face the doorway and saw John walking into the room with a newspaper. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't help a faint blush rise to her cheeks which she quickly tried to cover it by taking a large gulp of coffee. Thankfully, she saw over the rim of her mug that her companions were much too occupied in greeting John to notice any change in her complexion.

John, for his part, was pleased to be given the chance to avoid sitting next to Elizabeth when Olivia moved up a seat to accommodate him sitting between the twins, who were quick to fill him in on every detail of their sleepover with "Uncle Jack", who threw them an amused grin which was returned. When they'd finally exhausted their detailing of the previous night, Olivia turned to John and asked him what he had done last night. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Elizabeth's head snap in his direction, but was ultimately saved from answering the question with the arrival of breakfast.

"You got enough there?" John asked, eying his son's plate with amusement.

Not picking up on the sarcasm, JJ took another mouthful of sausage and nodded.

"Uncle Rodney will be proud." Jack commented.

"Leave him be." Elizabeth said, although she was also smiling.

"Yeah, I'm a growing boy." JJ said, still chewing on his sausage.

"Well, there's no denying that" said Jack.

Choosing to ignore that comment, Elizabeth ruffled her son's hair and kissed him on the forehead, causing an appalled reaction from JJ as he quickly rubbed her away her kiss with his hand and glared at her, causing Olivia to fall about in hysterics.

"Mommy embarrassed you!" Olivia squealed.

"Okay, I'll embarrass you then." John teased.

Before she had a chance to react, John reached under her arms and began tickling Olivia who immediately began squirming in her chair and struggled to beg her father to stop as she uncontrollably giggled. As she watched this, Elizabeth couldn't find it in herself to tell John to stop, despite her embarrassment at the looks that were being directed at the table, simply because she couldn't face the prospect of another argument with him after the resolution of the previous one. Instead, she widened her eyes in his direction and he eventually got the hint and dropped his hands from under Olivia's arms and returned to his breakfast.

"You know we could hear you lot way out in the corridor?" Rodney whined as he walked in and sat down at the table with Carson.

"Sorry." Elizabeth replied.

"Don't worry about it. It's nice to see everyone smiling." Carson said while perusing the menu.

"What are the hash browns like this morning?" Rodney asked as he read the menu.

"They're good." John said.

"But are they crispy? Because I keep asking them to make them crispy and they're never crispy."

"They're crispy today." Jack confirmed.

"Hmm," Rodney said, continuing to examine the menu, "I think I'll just have a couple of sausages with bacon and eggs.

"Just?" John questioned.

"Yes." Rodney said, looking around for the waitress.

"You really should watch your intake of fatty foods." Carson said with concern.

"A little bit of fat in the diet is good for you." Rodney said with a defensive tone in his voice.

"Little being the operative word." John muttered.

"And I suppose you've been filling up on multigrain cereal and fruit juice?"

Elizabeth couldn't suppress a grin at this comment, but she was surprised to find her amusement being replaced by a great sense of loss as she realized that this was probably the last time that they'd be together, like this, for a very long time, if they ever were again. As much as she rolled her eyes at some of the more ridiculous of Rodney's traits, she wasn't particularly welcoming the prospect of being parted from them because it meant that she would be parted from her friends, the twins from their father, and would once again be on her own.


Going through the checking out procedure was a relatively quick one. But it was a lot different than what had happened while he'd been checking out. While he'd been checking in, John had just gone through the motions to just get to his room, dump his stuff, and get to Elizabeth. He hadn't even known about the twins. Knowing about them now and having to leave, wasn't an easy thing to do.

He'd of course briefly toyed with the idea of just staying. Immediately after having that thought, he knew that it would be impossible on many levels. He'd have to settle for the attempt at getting transferred to Phoenix.

Right after he finished the check out process, John had put his wallet on the counter. He noticed the sad looks on the faces of the twins. They were mostly sticking close to Elizabeth, occasionally wandering over to Jack. He was so distracted by this scene that when he went to get his wallet again, it fell to the ground. As he made a move to pick it up, John found that someone was already handing it to him. It was a startlingly beautiful woman; dark blond hair and green eyes. She said,

"You should be more careful with that, Sir."

Normally he would've made some sort of flirty response, but his mind was filled with the looks on his kid's faces. He did manage to mutter a "thanks" before getting ready to go the car.

The tension John had felt over breakfast was nothing compared to the tension and anxiety he felt during the car journey to Elizabeth's. To say the children were more subdued was an understatement and when he checked Olivia's reflection in the rear-view mirror, he was pretty sure he could see tears welling in her eyes which she was desperately trying to hold back. He knew that he should crack a joke, or simply say something to make things better, but he couldn't, because he knew that he'd only be able to convey his own hurt at their parting, and he didn't want his children to be caused anymore upset. So John gritted his jaw and narrowed his eyes to focus on the accelerating car just ahead of them, where he could tell from Rodney's head movements that there was some sort of bickering going on.

When they pulled onto the sidewalk, he turned to Elizabeth who was sat beside him and smiled awkwardly. The moment was broken by Jack opening Elizabeth's door for her, and she climbed out to reach up to give Jack a hug.

"Thank you." She whispered in his ear, her voice breaking.

"Don't mention it." Jack said, with a warm smile.

Elizabeth squeezed his arm and turned to Carson and Rodney, hoping Jack realised just how truly thankful she was that Jack had brought John into her...their children's lives. Facing both Rodney and Carson, the tears that had been threatening all afternoon finally made an appearance, as they incoherently made promises about ringing every week and sending candy to twins. With a final wave, they returned to their car and Elizabeth turned to see John crouched down, holding the twins' hands.

"...and I have to go back home and work." John said sadly.

"Are you going to come back?" JJ asked, with wide-eyed fear.

"You try stopping me, but, until then, if you ever need me, your Mommy has a special Daddy phone so you can call me whenever you want. Just make sure you ask first." John said, with a hint of smile.

Both children nodded doubtfully and John briefly considered the possibility of staying; a possibility which he quickly realized the impossibility of, and he once again forced a bright smile for his children.

"Now, how about a Daddy sandwich?" John said, raising an eyebrow.

For the first time since they'd left the hotel both children managed a smile and threw themselves into John's arms, where he enveloped them and breathed them in, pulling them closer and whispering 'I love you'. They pulled away and John wiped away Olivia's tears and patted his son on the shoulder. He stood up with the composure of a trained soldier, and turned to Elizabeth who he took the hand of and squeezed with a regretful smile. The moment was over as quickly as it began, and Elizabeth ran past John to hug her children whose grief at his departure was blatantly evident. She knew that she would never be enough for them now, but it was worth it just for them to have one week of being two ordinary six-year olds with a Mom and a Dad.

"Daddy, please don't go!" Olivia yelped.

Half inside the car, John paused. Olivia had uttered the words that he had hoped and prayed that neither of his children would say, and what made it worse was the realization that this was the first time that Olivia found it in herself to call him 'Daddy' and it hurt him. It cut right through him. Slowly he turned to look at her, 'I'm sorry. I love you.'

And with that, he was gone.