AN: this chapter could have triggers. If you are a recovering drug/alcohol addict you may want to skip this chapter as there is craving for drugs in it.


In all honesty, Merle was a little surprised by how quickly Hershel, Rick and his little brother agreed to his logic about going on the run. They only argued a little before giving in and agreeing. He left the impromptu meeting and took over a shift on watch in the tower. He left telling the girl about their run to Daryl. They planned on leaving in two days and being gone for up to two weeks.

He scoured maps in his down time, learning the surrounding areas as well as he could with only a handful of worn maps they had found in the warden's office. He remembered the way they took to get to the prison and the immediate area decently enough, but anything outside a mile or two he wouldn't be familiar with. He had decided that he would let Beth lead the way, once they made it into the forest, allowing her to navigate the woods, and he wouldn't correct her. He would leave that to his little brother. He didn't want to make the girl nervous and set her up for failure, not on her first time outside the fence.

If she wasn't in danger of being bit or anything else, Merle would sit back and observe, letting his brother correct her. He wanted it to feel like another day of training.

As the days passed between speaking to the others and leaving, he felt his temper shortening. The passage of time felt too much like waiting to be released from prison every time he was locked up. He never minded his stints in prison, he was used to it. The schedules, the quiet and solitude of having his own space, that was all good for him. It was only when he knew he only had a week or less left of his sentencing that he started to go stir crazy, everything in him fighting to keep himself from fucking it all up and getting his sentence extended. It was those last few days of his sentencing that he always craved another hit of whatever drug he had obeen on.

He felt that itch the night before they left. He threw himself into a work out, went down to the fences and killed the walkers pushing against it, until his body was drained, and he could barely move his feet to get back to his bunk. He passed out immediately, not waking up until a few hours before sunrise. Having rested so well from shear exhaustion he felt the pull for drugs once more.

Merle found Daryl in his own cell, quietly ensuring he had his gear ready to go. "Ya got a smoke, Darylina?" He rasped.

Daryl cocked his head to the side, looking at his older brother, "Ya ain't smoked in months, why ya want one now?"

"Don' fuckin' worry 'bout it. Ya got a smoke or not?" Merle felt the fingers of anger gripping him, inching him towards a fight with his brother.

"What the fuck's yer problem, Merle?" Daryl let his bag fall to the ground as he took a step closer to Merle.

Merle didn't hesitate to close the distance, his face inches away from Daryl's. His body was taught. "Jus' give me a fuckin' smoke, Darylina,"

"Ya doin' drugs again?"

Merle took a step back, forcing himself to release the tension in his shoulders and unfurl his fists, he forced himself to breath deeply and to think twice before he started a fight with his little brother. He took a chance and answered honestly, "Not yet I ain't, but I's itchin' for some, real bad,"

Daryl nodded thoughtfully, reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He motioned with his head for Merle to follow him. His little brother led him through the cells, downstairs and out the door in the common room. Daryl leaned against the wall two feet from the door, flipped open the pack and pulled out two cigarettes. He handed one to Merle. "I ain't gonna push ya fer answers, Merle, but ya wanna explain?"

He waited until he had taken a couple puffs from the smoke. He fought with himself, debating what he would tell his brother. "Bein' here, knowin' I's leavin' in a couple hours, its bringin' the itch back. It's just like every time I got released, couldn't wait fer a fix, knowin' I'd have it flowin' through my veins in a couple hours."

Daryl took his time before responding. It had Merle on edge as he waited. "What're ya goin' ta do 'bout it? Ya gonna get ya self a fix soon as we hit the road or ya gonna fight it? We's got a good thing here. I ain't goin' wit' ya if ya get kicked outta here"

"Ain't tryin' ta fuck up, li'l brotha. I worked too fuckin' hard ta get here." He admitted, running his hand through his short hair. "I need ya help, keep me from givin' in ta that shit,"

"A'right," Daryl nodded.


It took longer than he expected to leave the prison. The whole damn prison came out to see the three of them off. He shouldn't have been surprised, after all, it was Beth's first time leaving for a run. He listened as patiently as he could as everyone gave her advice and well wishes. "C'mon, Angel, we gotta get," he didn't want to rush her, but at the same time, he needed to get out of there, the sooner the better.

She nodded and hugged her daddy and sister one last time before going to stand between him and his brother. He led the way to the gate and stopped. He turned and faced her. "Yer gonna lead, we's followin' ya. Don' go bein' nervous. I jus' wanna make sure yer learnin' an' can handle yerself. Me'n Daryl gonna watch ya back,"

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" She asked.

"We ain't gonna let nothin' happen to ya, if that's what yer worried 'bout,"

"It's part of it,"

"Jus' pretend it's jus' me an' ya trainin', like we been doin'," Daryl reassured her. "Ya gotta trust us an' we gotta trust ya, too,"


After walking all day, sticking to the woods a couple hundred yards in, they stopped for the night. Merle took charge once again. "Y'all get some rest. I'll keep watch an' wake lil brotha in a few hours."

Daryl watched him closely. "Ya sure?"

"Yep, get ya some rest. An' it's gonna get cold, stay close ta her so's she don't get too cold,"

He turned away from them and focused on his surroundings in the fading light. He turned to check on them eventually, hearing their whispered voices. They leaned against a tree, the blondes head on his brothers shoulder. He smiled to himself, and left the two to their privacy.

He kept up a steady rhythm of walking around the outer edges of their camp, and a little further every half hour to forty five minutes. Inadvertently as he walked the edges he heard snippets of Beth and Daryl's conversations.

The first time he chuckled to himself, as she asked, "Am I doing okay? I feel like I'm doing a terrible job,"

"Yer doin' good, better'n I expected, but we ain't huntin' yet, an' ya haven't gotten face ta face with a walker, either."

A couple hours later, as the chill of the night really set in, Merle took out one of the few walkers they had seen that day, after leading it a little ways off from their camp. He went back to their camp and made himself comfy, standing and leaning against a tree a half dozen feet from his little brother and Angel. By time he started to get a little chilly he heard Beth talking. He glanced over towards them.

"It's cold,"

"Come 'ere,"

Merle chuckled as his brother moved to sit up more against the tree, spreading his legs slightly, so Beth could sit between his legs and against his brothers chest. As Daryl wrapped his arms around her, he flipped Merle the bird.

Merle could feel the slight itch for drugs coming alive within him again, though not as strong as when they were still at the prison. He forced himself to think about ways to fortify the prison, what they needed from this run, attempting to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't notice the itch as badly.