Resounding cheers for the Doccubus action last chapter and Boos for Allie. Thanks for letting us know where you all stand ;) Sydney and I are happy that you are enjoying our little collab. We will continue to give our best for however long this goes on and appreciate your patience between updates. Enjoy!
Chapter 9
A sharp clatter yanked me from my sleep, the dreamscape Lauren shared in my unconscious mind disappeared abruptly. I was suddenly aware how sore my body was. It was the good kind of sore that came from an unforgettable night of exploring every inch of an amazing woman. The odd thing was that I felt rested, energized, even after our night we together. I truly couldn't remember the last time I slept that good. My mind was awash with highlights from last nights escapades, most notably the kitchen counter with the cobbler, as well as a few I'd like to try some other time. I had met my match sexually, her appetite every bit as voracious as mine as we took our turns, one after the other, throughout the night and into the early morning. Through my sleep filled haze I saw her sitting on the edge of the bed. I groaned internally at the sight of her already clothed. I would have to do something about that. Smiling unconsciously, I was unable to hide the giddiness I felt waking up to her. I was sure my dimple was in full effect. I had never put any thought into the small, insignificant indent that had always been there when I saw my reflection, but the way she gushed over it, how she said she could get lost in it for days, made smile even wider. My cheek tingled, the memory of her kissing me there still fresh. If it hadn't been for court today I'd loved to have spent the day with her, maybe I could have gotten her to call out, too. Unfortunately, it was not in the plan, I would have to settle for later tonight. I slid over and ran my hand down her back, my arms wrapped around her waist. Waking up to her was something I knew I could get used to, something I found myself wanting more than I could have imagined. I was just sorry I missed her lying naked beside me. As stunning as she was awake, I was sure she was absolutely breathtaking with her hair slightly mussed, the sheet barely covering her, a light smile pulling at her lips as she dreamed of the night we shared. I pushed up on my elbow and kissed her shoulder, "Morning you."
"Bo, why is your personal private investigator digging into my past? Calling my friends and asking if the things I have done are a lie or not?"
My brow creased, my mind spinning. What did she just say? My mind was half asleep and still full of lust for the woman I held in my arms, but her words slowly filtered through. I felt myself tense as I recalled the conversation I had with Allie just yesterday. Was this new? Did she really press this issue after I explicitly asked her to stop?
She moved away from me. "Why do you have Allie digging into my past?"
Gone was the warmth from last night, her words had bite and it sent a chill down my spine. I knew her past was a sensitive subject. I swallowed hard, her eyes cold from the idea that I had betrayed her trust. Given our rocky beginning, I could see why she would go on the defensive, but did she really believe that I put Allie up to that? An unbelievable ache deep inside rolled through me knowing she thought I did. I shook my head, trying to make sense of what she just said. "Wait, what?" I leaned back against the headboard, ignoring the sheet that had fallen from my chest. I sat there, dumfounded and uncovered from the waist up. She didn't look at me, repeating her question in the same bitter tone.
"Why do you have Allie digging into my past?"
"Why would I do that Lauren?" I kept my voice soft. This didn't make any sense and I didn't want to get into another fight, not after last night. I had to make sure she knew that I would never do that. "Do you really believe that I asked her to find out information when I could ask you?"
"I don't know Bo," she took a labored breath, "I mean, you already went digging once."
I sighed, dragging my palms down my face. "Which I did on my own and for which I have apologized already. I thought we were past this?"
"I thought so too, Bo," she turned her eyes to me, the haunting look of betrayal etched in those expressive brown eyes, "until Betty called me this morning telling me she had been harassed by Allie last night over the phone asking about Afghanistan. She didn't know we were friends. Guess she's not really that good of a P.I. after all. Maybe I have nothing to worry about then," Lauren chuckled coldly as she pushed up from the bed and walked away.
I felt a twisting knot in my gut, anger boiling up inside, not just at Allie and her blatant disregard for the wishes of her supposed best friend, but the way Lauren was also accusing me of putting her up to it. I jumped from the bed, caring nothing that I was running after her naked. I reached for her wrist, wrapping my hand around it with just enough force to halt her motion. She yanked her hand back hard, pulling it free from my gasp, refusing to look me in the eye.
"Lauren, please look at me."
I stood there as her internal debate played out across her strong features. She looked at the ceiling, took a deep breath and steeled her jaw.
"Please." I wasn't beyond begging even though I had a right to be upset as well. I wouldn't let us slip backward, not after last night. I had never experienced a night like that, the intense emotions that came with being truly, irrationally in love. I would deal with Allie, but I had to fix us first. Slowly she turned around. I could see her determination even as she fought back tears. She had her scars, deep ones, some she may take to her grave, but I didn't care. I wanted this beautiful, brilliant, goofy doctor who I knew loved me with all her being.
"Lauren, I had nothing to do with this. Yesterday I found out that she had been snooping a little and we had it out. I explicity told her to stop. I had no idea that she was batshit crazy, I swear, but I will handle it. I want to know everything about you, I do, but I want to hear it from you, you know, over the next fifty years or so."
I smiled softly, hoping to get her walls down. She tried to stay firm, but I saw the small smile tug at her lips at the mention of a long life together.
"We have to trust one another. Do you trust me, Lauren?"
"I really want to Bo." There was a defeated tone in her voice. It broke my heart to see her struggle so hard against letting someone in, to trust and give herself completely. I had struggled the same way in the past, but with her, it was so easy for me. It hurt a little that she was still keeping me at arms length knowing she felt exactly the way I did.
"Then do it. Please let me in, I won't let you down."
I took a chance and stepped into her personal space, my heart skipping when she didn't retreat. My hand slid around her waist and gently pulled her close. I felt her tense against me, still holding on to anger. "I am in love with you Lauren. Yes, I want to know all of you, but the only part of your life that I care about is the you I'm holding right now."
She studied my eyes carefully, searching for my truth. I felt her breath release, the one she'd been holding since I pulled her against me. My lips ghosted across hers, her warm breath intermingling with my own. She didn't respond and I began to panic, thinking I had misread the signs. I started to pull away, admitting defeat, but she gripped my hips tight, preventing my escape. Her body melted into mine, fingers tangling through my hair as she let herself go. She parted my lips. It wasn't hurried or desperate, it was slow and sensuous. A kiss that said she wasn't going anywhere. The feel and taste of Lauren sent my senses into overdrive. My heart rate shifted from an irregular thump of fear to an all out sprint of joy. I had been so afraid that she was going to give up on us. Our start had certainly been less than smooth, not at all like the ones you'd dream about, but the woman in my arms was every bit the woman of my dreams and I'd be damned if I was letting her go without a fight. Her fingers dug into my bare flesh as she bit my bottom lip gently, the pounding of her heart just as hard as the one in my chest. I knew she was still mine. The moment felt like forever, but didn't last nearly long enough. She moaned and broke our kiss, leaning her forehead to mine. I sighed heavily as I struggled to catch my breath and control my rapidly escalating desire. I could see and feel that she was fighting as hard as I was and I loved it.
A soft smile graced her lips as our eyes locked. "I do love you Bo." She rolled her eyes. "Actually, it's more like I'm hopelessly in love with you." She smiled wider for a moment, then it faded. I feared the worst as the energy shifted back to one of uncertainty.
"But?" I felt my stomach in knots again.
"But, we can't keep doing this."
Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like a boa constrictor had me in a death grip. Can't do what? How could she walk away now? "Can't keep doing what? Us?"
"We can't keep having these surprises, or Allie interfering. I'm not telling you what to do Bo, but it's obvious she has a problem and I won't deal with a jealous ex."
I nodded. I got it, I did. I still had a chance. I just had to fix whatever the problem was with Allie. Deep down I knew it wouldn't be easy, there would be a tough decision ahead, but if my old friend was hoping to make me choose between them, she was in for heartbreak. "I'll fix this, Lauren. I promise. I only want you. You're the missing piece in my life and I won't let anything come between us."
She swallowed hard and pulled away, just now noticing that I was still completely nude. She bit her lip as she looked me over. I happened to glance at the clock over her shoulder and groaned. I had to get moving in a hurry to make it to court on time. I still had to go home, shower and get dressed.
"I'm so sorry Lauren, but I have court this morning and I really have to get moving. I need to go home first." The voice in the back of my mind urging me to stay and try out a few of those things from my dream this morning.
"I understand, though I really wish we could spend the day together."
I groaned louder, my body screaming "to hell with work," but I had to go. Not an easy feat after the moment we shared and the smoldering look in her eyes right now. "God, you make this so hard, but if I dont go now, I'll never go. Can I see you again tonight?"
"I'd be upset if you didn't. Now get moving prosecutor." She slapped me on the bottom like a ball player and chuckled. "I'll put together some breakfast for you while you get dressed."
"Thank you." I kissed her cheek and ran to the bedroom, scooping up as much of my discarded clothing as I could find. I just needed the essentials, the rest I could get later. Maybe the left behind's would serve as a gentle reminder for her during the day. I felt that smile pull at the corners of my lips again, the one I seemed to get whenever I thought of her. Then the more I thought of her, the bigger it got. I looked in the mirror and saw the dimple she adored so much. I shook my head, throwing my clothes on quick as possible. I still couldn't believe the way she had affected me so completely. I picked my keys up from the table, stopping when I saw her at the door with coffee, a muffin and a wide smile. I sighed. Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do as I begrudgingly made my way to her. She placed the items carefully in my hands and kissed me softly on the lips. It was all so domestic, so right. I could see this being my life, kissing her each day before I left for work.
"I hate leaving." I knew I was pouting, it was almost painful to leave her this morning. "See you soon."
"Very soon."
The entire drive all I could think about was a future with her and how badly Allie could ruin it all for me. That's not what a friend, much less a best friend, was supposed to do. She was stuck in some kind of delusion that we had a future despite what had already been said. Right then I knew that this needed to be resolved today before she dug any deeper, even if it meant severing all ties to my best friend of the last ten years. The more I thought about the last few days with Allie, the more it stewed within. She was going to get an earful when I did see her and I as much as I was ready to have the conversation, I was hoping for it to be later in the day. I didn't need any drama first thing before court.
I was thankful that the morning went quickly and even more so that Allie didn't show up first thing. I barely ate lunch, fuming over what she had done and how it had affected Lauren. That of course, affected me and my relationship with both of them. I know I was wrong for calling Allie from Denver, but we had hooked up in the past, even tried a relationship, it just never worked. I believed we had both accepted a strong "friendly love" in that we cared for one another, but knew we weren't meant to be together in that way. I had never seen signs of this kind of crazy when I went out with other people over the years. I most certainly would have dealt with it earlier and we would not work together. I think the thing that had me the most was how it put a stain on an otherwise perfect first time with the woman I love, mostly because it's the first time I've really, truly been in love.
I leaned on the wall beside one of the vacant rooms where I usually spoke with clients. I debated my next course of action. If she wasn't here this afternoon I would have to track her down after work. There was no way I was going to see Lauren again without confronting Allie first. I didn't want anymore of these ridiculous confrontations. I was ready for us to move on and become a real couple. A sudden burst of light nearly blinded me as the doors to the courthouse opened. The sun hit the glass door just right, sending a blinding flash in my direction as Allie walked in. She was looking at her phone. She never saw me until I yanked her by the arm into the room, shutting the door behind me.
"What the hell Bo?"
She had a look of surprise and aggravation on her face, apparently not appreciative of my not so subtle invite into discussion.
"I could say the same to you Allie." I glared at her hard.
"What are you talking about?"
"What did I specifically ask you not to do?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything," she answered defensively.
I rolled my eyes in disbelief that she was going to play dumb with me. "Well, allow me to refresh your memory. Following the most amazing night of my life with a gorgoeus blonde doctor, I was blindsided this morning when she received a call from her friend Betty, who you apparently harassed about her time in Afghanistan last night. Sound familiar?"
Her eyes widened and she shifted uncomfortably. "Oh."
"Yeah, oh. So instead of continuing into a blissful morning of waking up to the woman I am in love with, I had to scramble to smooth things over because of your bullshit."
"Bu...but Bo," she stammered, taking a few steps closer.
"But what?" I threw my hands up in disgust. "I dont get it. I mean, I've told you how I feel about her and I've asked you explicitly not to interfere. This was just yesterday Allie. I am not in love with you. There will never be a me and you. Nothing you find about Lauren will make me love you. Even if we don't work out, I will never be with YOU. Do you understand that?"
"Even if she's not who she said she is? Did she tell you her name is not even Lauren Lewis? Did she Bo?"
Of course she didn't tell me. We've only gone out a few times. It's not like that's something you blurt out. Still, I felt blindsided. In no way did I expect anything like that, but I refused to let her see that it affected me. "I don't care what her name was Allie. Don't you get it? Everyone has a past. Just because mine was plain and simple, doesn't mean that I don't understand some people, present company included, have had a more complicated path. I've never judged you on yours and I won't judge her on hers."
Emotions were running high, our voices escalated as we stared one another down.
"Would it matter if I told you she used to be a man?"
My mind went blank. That was not even on the radar. I had seen her intimate places and I was pretty sure she was all woman. One thing was for sure though, even with that as a possibility, I still wanted her.
"I don't care, I love her, but was she a-?"
"No, of course not," she shook her head at the ridiculousness of it all. I breathed a sigh of relief, but only found myself even more infuriated, "but-"
"What? Why would you even throw something like that out there? You are crazy, Allie. I don't know who you are anymore."
"Dammit Bo, I'm trying to protect you. I did it because I love you, you're my best friend."
"No, you did it because you are obsessed with me. I'm not even sure if we are friends anymore Allie. I'm no longer asking, I'm telling you to stay out of everything related to Lauren."
I crossed my arms defiantly. I felt my teeth ache as my jaw clenched tight in my best attempt at controlling myself. Allie thrust her hands onto her hips, challenging me.
"You mean Nora Wiles?"
"No, I mean Lauren and for that matter, everything related to me as well. Your services are no longer needed. You can pick up your check tomorrow at the office."
"I see. I'm sorry you feel that way, Bo." She reached into her bag and pulled out a photo. "I hope you know her as well as you think."
"I thought I knew you." I said it softly, sadly. This cut me deep, more so than she probably knew. I never had luck in relationships, friendly or otherwise. I had grown comfortable being on my own, enjoying a few flings, then I met her. She was the one person I trusted with everything, until Lauren. Right now, I'm not even sure about that.
She looked at the picture, then slapped it down on the table in front of me. "Good luck to you Bo," she hissed. "I wonder what kind of a woman abandons a one year old baby and disappears, never to be seen again?" Just as she exited the room she threw over her shoulder, "By the way, ask her about the nice trust fund that was set up around the same time. Must be nice to have that fancy car and no annoying teenager to deal with. Have a nice life with Nora."
The photo was of a teenage girl. I flipped it over and read the script. Elizabeth Wiles, age 15. She looked just like Lauren with soft brown sparkling eyes, a playful half smirk, long blonde hair and that unmistakable sculpted jaw line.
That afternoon was a blur. I could hardly concentrate as Allie's words and the girl in the picture kept running through my head. I didnt even go home, I went straight to Lauren's. I needed answers of some kind. I pulled into her driveway and knocked on the door. I wasn't sure what to say or do. The last thing I wanted was to stir the already bubbling pot, but my investigative mind had me in a loop. When she opened the door, she was beaming. Her smile was contagious despite my nerves. She leaned in, pecked me on the cheek and pulled me inside. I followed her, setting my keys on the counter, obeying the command when she motioned for me to take a seat on the bar stool while she pulled out two glasses and slowly filled each one half way with red wine. She moved with such grace around the kitchen, every move so purposed and perfectly executed. Everything about her was beautiful. I found myself wondering if it was how she always was, or if it was part of the person she created in her new life. Was there a different version of her, or just a change in name and scenery? What about the girl in the photo? Who was Lauren Lewis?
"How was your day?"
She smiled and handed me a glass. I swirled the sweet red liquid, inhaling it's floral scent as she settled into the seat beside me. I had to smile. We were back to that easy way between us. We seemed to shift effortlessly between relaxed, flirtatious and fuming. Being back in her home, the two of us sitting here, it felt so natural. I took a small sip, letting the spiced berries bathe my taste buds and the alcohol relax my body. If only it would work faster. I suddenly wished for something stronger. My chest tightened thinking of the best way to broach a delicate subject.
"Good. The case is going well, should wrap next week and I'm pretty confident it will rule in our favor."
"That's great, Bo."
"Yeah, it is. I um, saw Allie too." I leaned my arms on the edge of the island, fidgeting with my glass.
"Oh?"
"We had a heated conversation and well, we aren't friends, or work associates anymore."
"Bo, I'm sorry."
Her hands moved to cover mine, a small gesture of comfort that I soaked up. They were warm and sent tiny tingles up my arms. I looked down at her hands on mine. "Me too. I guess you just never really know someone. I mean you think you do, hope you do, but you just don't ever really know."
I let my gaze travel back up to hers. She searched for my true meaning. I could see her body tense. I felt it in her hands. She gave me a squeeze, then slid her hands off, dragging them back to the safety of her own glass.
"Mmm." She took a bigger than usual sip of her wine and stood from her chair. She moved toward the fridge. "What would you like to do for dinner?" I studied her as she opened the door and fiddled with items inside. I wasn't sure if she was really looking for something, or using it as a distraction.
"Um, I don't know, I'm not very hungry right now." There was no good way to approach a bad conversation, so maybe it's best to just rip the band aid off. "Why don't we start with what you did fifteen years ago?"
I held my breath, cringing as the words left my mouth. Maybe the self help book I read last year was right. Maybe, no matter how much I loved her, I really did have a fear of intimacy, subconsciously sabotaging all of my relationships. I wondered if this was really all Allie's fault, or if it would have come up later. Would Lauren have ever said anything? Why would she? She had made a new life for herself and obviously didn't want anything to do with the old one. It was none of my business. I shouldn't have asked, but it was too late now. Did I really even care? I think deep down I was worried that she could do it again and needed to hear justification for such a drastic move.
She stood catatonic. The carton juice she was holding hit the floor. Her head dropped and I heard a sigh. "What did she tell you?"
"Enough." I wished I didn't have this burning need to know why she ran from whatever it was. This had to be what she referred to this morning about Allie not being a very good P.I. Guess she was pretty darn good after all. "I really wished she hadn't, Lauren, but I couldn't just pretend that I didn't hear it. I won't hide things from you." I saw her flinch at my unintended dig. I instantly chided myself for my choice of words. "I didn't mean that you... anyway, she gave me this."
I slid the picture to her. She didn't look at me, just at the photo. Her face dropped, and she turned away quickly. She stepped back, putting some distance between her and the image. I prayed there was a good explanation, because the ideas running rampant in my imagination were not so kind.
"You wouldn't understand."
"I want to Lauren. Explain it to me."
"You'll hate me for it, Bo."
She wouldn't come near me. Whenever I walked toward her, she moved away, avoiding my touch and my gaze.
"I'm not going anywhere. I want to hear the story from you, not half truths by an outsider. Just talk to me please." I was pleading,
"I was always very driven, knew exactly what I wanted, mostly because that's what I was supposed to do." She spoke fast, throwing words to the air as if they were burning her tongue to keep them in. "I tried to love her, but I couldn't. I couldn't stand to look at her. She would've only ended up hating me. I wouldn't let all my dreams go because of one night, one mistake. I wouldn't be that girl."
She finally looked at me, probably checking my reaction. I didn't know what to say. There was something in her eyes, pain, but also something else I had never seen in her usually warm browns before. I wasn't sure if she was still more upset at having gotten pregnant, giving the girl up, or that she had blamed the child. I sensed regret, even though she was happy with her life. She had done exactly what she wanted, minus a few missteps along the way. I still didn't understand the name change or the money, but did it really matter? This was messy enough.
"I think you should leave, Bo."
We had only spoken for a few minutes, but she already sounded exhausted. I was growing tired of all this push and pull between us, wanting nothing more than smooth sailing from here on out. I didn't want to leave, but I knew better than to push. It wasn't the right time. I wasn't sure what to say or do in that moment. I just bowed my head and accepted her wishes. Maybe she wasn't the woman I thought she was, but she was still the one I wanted, at least I thought she was. I turned back to her before I left, "I'll see you soon?"
I was hopeful, but those hopes faded quickly when she didn't reply, didn't move. I pulled her door shut behind me and walked slowly to my car, letting the tears I had been holding back fall freely down my cheeks. I opened the door, ran my fingers through my hair and took a second to look back at the house. This had been an emotionally draining day. I fell into my seat, dropping my head on the steering wheel. Was there supposed to be this many hills to climb to be happy? I turned the key on and the radio up, needing to drown out my thoughts. We all have to live with the decisions we make in life. I hoped that this wasn't one of those moments either of us would come to regret.
XXX
I covered my mouth with my hand, holding back the screams of sadness and frustration that were bubbling to the surface. I glanced at the picture on the counter. The girl looked exactly like me with touches of her father. I slowly picked up the picture, I was silently glad she looked very little like him and more like me. I set the picture down and tried to busy myself with cleaning up the juice I dropped all over the floor. My hands shook as I wiped the floor. Bo knew now, she knew the biggest secret that had been hidden for almost fourteen years. I was going to tell her when the time was right, when I had found the strength to come to terms with it fully. I had only done so in the years I had come home from Ireland. I stood up dropping the soaked towel into the sink, leaning against it as I heard the front door open. I squeezed my eyes closed, fearful it was Bo again but hoping it was her again.
"I know you didn't give me the all clear, but I saw Bo's car was gone. I need to grab my backpack and head back to the hospital." Betty's chipper voice sliced through the silent, lingering tension in the house. "Soooo details? How did the debriefing of the busty lawyer go?" I heard Betty pull out the stool behind the island and pick up the picture on the counter. "Oh hey! Is this the kid you have been sponsoring in the big sister/little sister program for the last few years?"
I opened my eyes and let out the breath I had been holding since Bo left the house. I focused on a squirrel on the fence, envious of his freedom of personal secrets and drama. I whispered, "That's my daughter. Elizabeth."
I heard the stool scrap across the floor as Betty almost fell off the edge. I turned to look at her. A completely shell shocked white face stared back at me, her mouth was open slightly as she gripped the picture. She made indiscernible sounds as she struggled to ask a question, any question. I clenched my jaw as I leaned against the sink, folding my arms.
Betty cleared her throat and pushed out vowels, "Your...um...daughter? Uh...did I hear that right?"
I stared in her eyes, I could feel the tears in mine close to the brim. I nodded slowly. "The private detective who called you, has dug deep into my past and my life. She told Bo everything, and more." I sniffled, "My life has been pulled apart and wide open by her."
Betty walked over to me, placing her hands on my arms to try and comfort me. I could see the confusion and questions she wanted to ask. "Lauren, its okay. I will go beat her up for you." She paused as I laughed lightly in between sniffles. "So, you have a daughter?"
I nodded. "I do and my name isn't Lauren Lewis. It's Nora Wiles." I swallowed hard as Betty turned paler. "Yes, the Wiles Family. My father is David Wiles, the world renown neurosurgeon. My mother, Angela Wiles, is the Angela Wiles Director of Medical Sciences Department for University of Michigan Medical school." I paused as I tried to hold back sobs. My life as Nora Wiles ended when Elizabeth was born, I had not looked back in almost fourteen years and now, it was back in my lap. Brought to me by the woman I had fallen completely and hopelessly in love with.
"Allie found about everything and in turn she told Bo everything. Now I don't know what to tell her. I think it might be the end for her and I." I looked at Betty, trying to half smile. "Who finds out that the woman she just made love to all night, has a secret fifteen year old daughter and has a secret identity and stays? Especially after I tell her why I had to give up Elizabeth. She will hate me..." I stopped as I felt my heart tightened to the point it felt like a heart attack was coming on.
Betty stared at me blankly, blinking slowly as the words I spoke visibly sunk in slowly. Betty dropped her hands from my arms. "We need booze, wine, beer. Lots of it." She turned and smiled at me. "Will you tell me everything? Then we will go find Bo and tell her everything?"
I cringed and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know. I don't know if I can do this. Elizabeth doesn't even know the truth." I met Betty's eyes. "She has no idea I am her mother, just a family friend, a mentor. My father wanted it that way."
Betty whispered an oh shit. I laughed lightly. "Let sleeping dogs lie." I pushed off the edge of the counter and went to walk to the bedroom. I felt Betty's hand on my arm, stopping me. "Lauren, I am here. I will listen." She pulled me to face her. "Then we will go find Bo. You love her, she loves you. She will understand no matter what the whole truth has for her."
I clenched my jaw harder, nodding. I couldn't say anything as the painful memories of the last fourteen years and swallowing this secret down was now flooding through my body. Betty pulled me into a tight hug. "I will be back, with all of the booze in the world."
I laughed lightly as Betty let me go, kissing me on the cheek before she walked out of the house. As soon as I heard the door close, I let out the sobs I was holding. I leaned against the wall in the hallway, my eyes looking at my bed. Still a mess from the night I spent with Bo, it made me cry harder. Last night was perfect, amazing and I finally let myself go with someone completely. Bo had my heart last night and when I woke up, I wanted her to have if for the rest of my life. When she made the comment of being together and learning about me over the next fifty years, I knew it was right. She was right, she was the one. Then my past came into the picture again.
I sniffled and glanced at the pictures on the wall. I wasn't lying when I said Elizabeth knew me. She just didn't know me as her mother. I stood in front of the two pictures I had of her, the most recent one was from a few months ago. We were both wearing Harvard hats and she was holding up her early acceptance letter. She would be going to Harvard before the end of her senior year in high school. I had been her mentor for the last almost two years, only knowing me as a family friend working in the field she was also interested in, medicine.
Elizabeth and I would keep in contact here and there. In the last few months when I was dating Betty, our contact began increasing, I would see her a few times a week after school. We were building a close friendship and I could feel the start of a mother daughter bond beginning. I just had to finally tell her that I was her mother. She always thought my mother was her mother and not her grandmother, that she was just a last minute pregnancy. It was only a couple weeks ago that I saw my mother and we discussed finally telling Elizabeth everything.
Now a jealous private investigator had ripped that out of my hands and possibly ripped apart my only chance at a true love.
I closed the door to the bedroom, not wanting to see anything that would remind me of Bo. I could feel in my cold demeanor as I shut down, that I pushed her away. Just like I did when she googled me.
I picked up my phone and saw that there was a text from Bo, "Lauren, I love you. Please, don't shut me out."
I set the phone down. Tears spilling over I covered my face with my hands. I was on the verge of shutting her out as I felt overwhelmed with emotions. I shook as the sobs riddled my body.
XXX
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