A/N: now comes the part where we begin to turn Equestria inside-out
Chapter 9: Off to Work we go
John went back up stairs and entered his room. Sure enough, Peashooter had taken his offer to stay in the fort and was fast asleep on his bed. Off to the side was his night guard armor. Just as he figured, the armor was enchanted. Last night, Peashooter was a sort of dark purplish with bat wings, but now, he was a more normal looking Pegasus, with a bright blue coat and a yellow and black striped mane. On his flank was a castle in a circle.
"Hey sleeping beauty!" John called. The guard groggily raised his head. "You're my assistant now. We need to go fix a castle." Peashooter left John's bed and followed him back down stairs.
Just then, Blackburn entered the room carrying at least 20 pounds of sulfur and black powder. Buckshot Smiles was right behind him with a leaf blower and some crude oil in a drum. He nodded to a bewildered John.
"Hey, whenever you finish up with the brain-work in that forest, come back and I'll make some roasted spam, and frankly, pork fat rules!"
John shook his head. "I don't know what you're doing, but try not to burn down my fort. I need to add room for Peashooter."
Buckshot rolled his eyes and said "Don't worry; I'll leave the witnesses blind."
They both chuckled as Blackburn began stirring the oil with a spoon he stole, and lying out some paper on the floor next to it, jotting down ideas as he went along. John continued to stare at the two before his assistant tapped him on the shoulder.
"Well, I need to see a pony about a train." And with that, they left.
As John left, Blackburn began his lessons to buckshot smiles.
"Okay," he began, "I am technically a human advisor they put in charge of this part of Equestria, for now…do you know what my first thoughts are?"
Smiles shrugged and said "No idea. Blow shit up?" He smirked.
"Half-right. First, I was shocked to see that Equestria has no standing military, and that no-one had a clue about how to destroy things. You were a bloody godsend. I called some of Equestria's best scientists and a few guys who can hold hammers. We are going to make samples of basic napalm, gunpowder, and vehicle fuel, then have the eggheads mass produce it. If things go well, in 24 hours I can have the resources to start with operations Delta, Omega, and Zulu."
Smiles nodded and said "What are some of the other plans?"
Blackburn shook his head and said "Let's finish the basic batches of gunpowder and stuff, then talk about it. The eggheads' will be here in a few hours."
(Somewhere in Canterlot…)
"…So what does fixing a castle have to do with a trip to Ponyville?" Peashooter asked. The two were walking through the heart of Canterlot, guaranteeing everyone got a good look at the human and bringing a portion of the city to a standstill.
"And why do you need to take a train?" John took a deep breath.
"It's very simple my good man. Pony. Colt. If we're going to fix that castle, we're going to need to move supplies, and what better way to do that than by rail? I need to ride a train because I've seen the locomotives and I'm not sure if they can put up with the loads I'm expecting." The guard stared at him skeptically.
"Alright, it's mostly because I want a cab ride. As for Ponyville, I need to stay close to the construction site." He continued, "Plus, I need a new outfit. I mean, I can't run Equestria looking like this!" Peashooter rolled his eyes.
(Warning: Railroad technical stuff follows!)
"Here we are sir, Canterlot Station.' He declared. John shook his head at the building. Canterlot, the capital of Equestria, was served by a single two track station. To put it in perspective, New York City is served by Grand Central Terminal, a terminal with sixty-seven tracks arranged in two levels, and Penn Station, a station with 21 through tracks. He made a mental note to fix this great injustice.
"You get a ticket, I've got something to do." He approached the train at the station.
"Is this headed to Ponyville?" he asked the crew. A pony, whom John assumed was the fireman (Firemare? Firecolt? What the hell is the word?) leaned out of the left side window.
"Nah, Fillydelphia." He replied, surprisingly calm in the face of the human. "Ah" was said human's only response. He inspected the locomotive. In John's eyes, the diminutive locomotive was not up to the task. The small driving wheels meant that it would be more powerful than fast, but the light weight of the engine meant there wouldn't be much adhesion. No, John would need a brand new locomotive.
With that settled, he went into the station where he found Peashooter sitting on a bench.
"You done, sir?" the guard asked. "Yep, I just need to get a-" the Pegasus handed him a ticket "-oh thanks. But I could've gotten one my-"
"You have no money" Peashooter said. "Oh yeah…" The two remained silent as they waited for their train.
(Back in the castle…)
After about an hour, Blackburn, now covered in raw fuel he had condensed to make napalm, smiled and said "This…is progress!"
Buckshot wiped the sulfur off of him, saying "Well, we finished most of this stuff. We just need to let that napalm set before it's ready to be loaded in the leaf-blower. Now, what were your plans?" Blackburn looked out the window.
"for what I can see, Equestria has many other nations to compete with. A war will happen, if not now, then later. I will change that, very quickly. I still have my iPod, apparently, and it has several scale designs of old military gear: the F-4D Phantom strike plane, the M-47A2 Patton tank, the M-60C LMG, these are just a few of the weapons I have records of. If I can get a large enough massing of resources and help, we can make Equestria great, my friend. And maybe, there will be more…going above and beyond those items alone. Well, we have a while before the scientists show up. Let's go get some grub."
Buckshot smiles nodded eagerly and jogged out the door with him.
A/N: trust me, I am crazy about weapons. All my books are about them, and I know how to build a few of them, plus this fanfic ain't supposed to be realistic, or serious. Its about being us and destroying things.
OBH! *hell yeah, hell yeah!*
