"To Communicate, or to Breakdown?"

Chapter 9 is here! This is really a roller coaster trip, huh? Well it's just about to become even more fun!

I should note already here that my fanfic is in the current time, so not in the past. Just so that no one get's confused.

Enjoy~


Michael and Nick wandered down the hallways together. While Michael talked continuously to Nick, the smaller Scout listened as he kept quiet and nodded occasionally.

Then, they stopped at the same corner where Jack had slammed his shovel against Nick's head. Instinctively, Nick came to a halt and stared horrifically at the walls.

Understanding what was going on, Michael inched towards the corner. When he came to the corner, he paused before leaping into a kung-fu pose around the corner, wailing and flailing his arms about.

Upon seeing the humorous Scout, Nick started to weakly giggle and tried not to hurt his jaw in the process.

Michael relaxed his standing position and grinned. "There is no one here. I must have scared all those weenies away with my super-freakin'-awesome-fightin'-moves! HI-YA!" He shouted with a laugh.

Nick nodded in agreement as he came up to him. Because of Michael being a friendly and funny Scout, Nick felt more secure and calm with him. Both of the boys continued down the hallway of the base and entered into the Rec Room.

Will, Sam and Phillíp were still sitting around the same table in the center of the room. With the air around them tense and everyone silent, a light creek made them turn around and see Michael and Nick stand beside each other.

"I was strartin' to feel scared for ya, mate." Will let out a heavy breath and smiled at both of the young boys.

Michael took Nick by the sleeve and guided him to the table with the others, grabbing a chair for the both of them.

"Why do you have medical tape around your jaw, Nick?" Sam asked as he arched a brow towards them and crossed his arms.

"You should have seen it, dude! I was freakin' runnin' away from Jack and all, then as I turned a corner…BAM!" Michael slammed his two fists together as he told his story, "I bumped right into Hans while Jack slammed Nick across the face with his shovel! It was intense!"

Sam tightened his fists in anger. Will sighed and shook his head of disappointment. Phillíp sat quietly, saying not a single word about Michael's story and with no reaction.

"I'm gonna teach that son of a bitch a lesson of his own!" Sam yelled and stood up. As he stomped off passed Nick, the Engineer suddenly felt something grab a hold of him. He looked down he saw the boy clinging on to the utility belt and shaking his head frantically. "I don't follow ya, kid. What's wrong?" He stopped in his tracks and frowned at Nick.

Nick grabbed the notebook from his shirt and started to write something down. He handed the notebook to Sam.

Sam looked down at the note and began to read out loud, "'Don't do it, Sam. I don't want any more violence and people getting hurt because of me. I don't think he wanted to hit me at all. Please don't be mad, anymore.'"

"Why don't ya open your mouth, kid? Cat got ya tongue?" Will smiled lightly at Nick.

Before Nick was able to write another note to answer the Sniper's question, Michael spoke, "His jaw is broken from the incident and he can't talk for a couple of days. So he has to write everything down instead of talkin'." he crossed his arm while pouting.

Nick watched Sam's hand clench tightly in a fist. To get the angered Engineer's attention, he tugged at the belt once again.

Sam sighed as he let his hands relax and slump to his sides. He returned to the table, sitting back in his chair.

"Hey, dude! How are your legs feeling by the way?" Michael pointed at Nick's bandaged legs.

Nick started to write again, showing the finished note to the other Scout. 'It depends, really.' The note read, 'If I walk around for a while, they start to hurt. But I've been through worse, so it's no big deal.'Nick held the pen and notebook, preparing himself for the loads of questions Michael wanted to ask.

Michael was curious about the smaller Scout, despite the fact that Nick wasn't much of an open book. "Why do you always walk around wearin' that beanie?" Michael leaned in, trying to spot Nick's eyes from underneath the beanie.

Nick flinched a bit and ducked his head a bit, feeling that the Scout was too close to him.

Michael tossed the book over to Nick. "Here ya go. I think you might need this."

Nick caught the book and looked up, staring at Michael.

"Nick, remember my letter. If ya don't wanna tell, ya don't have to." Sam smiled Nick and gave Michael a warning frown.

Nick nodded and scribbled something down, sliding it across the table for everyone to see: 'Because of my eyes. I'm an albino and my eyes are sensitive to bright light, like the sun. I don't wear sunglasses because they keep falling off and goggles just ruin my line of sight. But with my beanie on, I can see just fine.'

Each of the men took turns reading the note silently to themselves, although Michael read the note out loud once everyone else finished reading it.

"Hey guys! Have any of you seen Nick's eyes without the beanie? I did, and they looked so cool!" Michael smiled triumphantly as he placed his arm around Nick's shoulders.

Nick flinched a bit at the sudden contact, but he forced himself to relax and allow the other Scout to wrap his arm around him.

"Dear boy! Do you not know what personal space is? Can't you see that you're making the boy uncomfortable?" Phillíp gave an ice-cold glare at Michael.

"I can't help it, dude! He's just so freakin' tiny! It's like a mini-Scout buddy or somethin'!" Michael laughed as he hugged Nick in a firm grip.

Nick blushed deeply and was stunned from the tight squeeze. He was unsure of what to do or how to react to the situation. Once he could not take the physical contact from the other Scout any longer, Nick shoved Michael away from him and got up on his feet. As quick as he could, the boy took his crutches and headed towards the door.

"Hey, Nick! Wai-!" Sam got to his feet, but he was too late as Nick left the room and closed the door behind him.

"Nice going, wanker! Now look what you've bloody done! You scared him off!" With a deep sigh, Will took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes in irritation.

"I'm sorry, okay? But I can't help myself! I just like teasing him and all! It's not my fault that he's all tiny and different, it's interestin'..." Michael scoffed as he crossed his arms.

"I know, son, but please don't force him to answer any questions right now and don't bother him so much. Can't you see that he's starting to let us in his life? So if we force him to do things that he doesn't like, he will just shut down on us again." Sam sat back down as he explained to the Scout.

"I agree, m'sieur. Now, if you will excuse me, I will see to the boy." Phillíp said, standing up and straitened his tie before walking away.


Nick was sitting quickly in his room. With the door locked, the boy grabbed his bag with personal belongings. There were few things in the bag such as pens, pencils, and a sketchbook. He opened the sketchbook that a lot of the pages torn out. He flipped through the very pages that remained in the book. One of them made him stop and trailed his fingers down the page. It was a portrait of his mother and father. Unable to hold back his tears, he started to sob and weep. A knock on the door startled him. Nick glanced back at the door, but stayed perfectly still.

"It's me, Phillíp!" The soothing voice called from the other side of the door.

Nick slowly got off his bed and walked over to the door. He unlocked it and peeked outside to see his guest.

Phillíp had a friendly smile as he looked down at the boy. "May I come in, please?"

Nick glanced left and right of the hallway. He nodded of approval as he opened the door to let him in. Once the Spy entered the room, Nick closed the door carefully.

"You looked sad when you left us. I came to see if everything is alright." Phillíp sat down on the bed and patted the bed next to him.

Nick did not move, not knowing what to do. He felt scared, yet he wanted to trust the man he saw before him.

"Je ne vais pas vous faire du mal une belle." Phillíp said softly and patted the spot next to him again, "So, do you understand what I am saying? It was actually a test."

Nick swallowed hard as he came up to the Spy and reluctantly sat down next to him. He grabbed his notebook from his pocket, writing something and showing it too the Spy. 'I learned some from my mother and from a former team mate. Though I did not understand everything you just said, please don't call me beautiful, anymore. I don't like it when people lie to me.' Nick looked away from the man, but a gloved hand grasped the boy's chin and turned the head to face Phillíp.

"Even with scars you are very beautiful. Why would I lie about something that is true? This former team mate you mentioned in your note was the BLU Spy, oui?" He gently stroked Nick across the cheek with his thumb and grinned.

Nick blushed from the touch and flinched. The strokes were so soothing and calm, that the boy did not pull away.

"What was his name again? Hmm.. Ah yes! It was Claude, wasn't it?"

Nick's eyes widened in complete shock as he stared at Phillíp with his mouth barely open. It had almost looked as if he was going to ask a question.

"You want to ask on how I know this, don't you? It was quite simple, mon ami." The Spy chuckled.

Nick closed his mouth and nodded in response.

"Does this ring a bell, moi aussi? 'Je t'aime, Claude...'" He smirked as Nick cheeks went red deeper.

Nick grabbed his notebook and began to furiously write: 'It's not like that! We are just friends! He was the only nice guy on that whole fucking team! He was the one who actually gave a shit about me! Don't talk bad about him!'

Phillíp nodded as he read the note and patted Nick's head. "Not to worry, my friend, I said nothing bad about him. I understand that he was very kind to you. He must of saw greatness in you, boy. I wonder…" Phillíp removed his hand and looked more serious. "May I see your eyes, petit ami?" He watched the boy suddenly tense up and waited patiently for any answer.

Nick tensed and nodded at the man. After a couple of minutes, the boy nodded again at Phillíp and slowly lifted his beanie from over his eyes.

Phillíp could not help but stare deep into the reddish-purple eyes. He leaned closer to the boy. He was unaware of how uncomfortable Nick was starting to feel as they were pulled closer together.

Although that Nick desperately wanted to say something, the pain and fear was working against him. Then he felt a pair of lips on his own. He cringed and tried to move away, but he was locked in place by a pair of strong hands on his shoulders. He tried his best to remain calm despite his situation. Phillíp's scent flowed into his nose. Nick loved the scent so much, he almost forgot about his fear for a moment. He grunted as he suddenly was pushed back on his back. The boy was on his back while Phillíp was on top on him. He felt the fear growing as his stomach started to churn.

Phillíp's lips pressed harder onto Nick's, but the boy felt his lips being parted as the Spy tried to deepen their kiss by slipping his tongue inside the small Scout's mouth.

Nick let out a pained and frightened whimper and kneed him in the guts as hard as he could.

The Spy stumbled back and rolled off from the bed. He slowly stood back up and regained his balance. One of his arms grabbed a hold of the bed as he leaned against it for support. "I-I am very sorry, petite." He coughed as he breathed heavily, "I never intended to hurt you. I will leave you now." Phillíp slowly headed towards the door, silently closing the door behind him.

Nick began to feel horrible of what had happened, but he could not find himself to move an inch. The tremendous fear still lingered inside him. Nick snatched his duvet and hugged it tightly. He had liked the Spy, but the deep memories of abuse still haunted him like the scars all over his body. He understood how hurt Phillíp sounded when he left. The young Scout was unsure of what to think. He despised the BLU Team, especially their cruel Medic. He started to tear up, even though he absolutely hated to cry. To him, it was one of the worse things he could possibly do to himself, but the overwhelming emotions were just too much for him to handle. He dragged himself over to the door and locked it. Once he took care of the door, he retreated back into his bed, pulled the covers over him, and closed his eyes.


Nick's POV...

A sudden knock on my door interrupted me, followed by another one. I tried to ignore it, knowing that I had no intentions to see anyone. I jumped in alarm from the loud bang on my door. To investigate on what was causing such a commotion, I headed towards the door and knocked back in response.

"Please open the door, Nick! I know you're in there. It's Jack, in case you were wondering."

When I heard his voice, my heart started to race. I was worried that he wanted to come back for revenge.

"I want to apologize, kid…Can you please let me in so we can talk? I promise that it won't take long."

His upset tone started to convince me. I barely opened the door so I could see Jack. The first thing I had noticed was that he wasn't wearing his helmet and was revealing his buzz-cut hair and eyes with a solemn expression. He hands fidgeted with the helmet. Jack had appeared to be nervous exhausted at the same time.

"Is it okay if I come in, son?" He tried smiling at me, but it looked more like an awkwardly forced grin rather than a true smile.

I nodded in response and opened the door wider for him. Once he entered my room, I closed the door behind him.

"So, uh...you like your new room?" He glanced around, sat down on a chair, and cleared his throat.

I slowly nodded again, trying not to look directly at him.

"How's your jaw feeling, by the way? I hope it's not as painful as it looks..." The Soldier's voice was full of guilt and sorrow.

I sighed heavily as I gave him a rather annoyed look. I picked up my notebook and wrote: 'I know you're not here to chit-chat, Jack. Please tell me what you want.' I showed my note to Jack.

"I know, I know, kid. You're absolutely right. I actually wanted to apologize for what's happened between us." Jack said with a nod.

I felt weird and confused as Jack told me his true motive for being in my room with me. The typical Soldier I knew of was portrayed as a vicious and insane warrior, anxious for the lust of blood and the slaughtering of his enemies with pride. But the man in front of me did not remind me of that portrait with violence and 'true' American spirit. I sat down on my bed and looked down at the floor. While silence between us was defining, I turned away and tried not to look at him.

"I did not mean to snap at you and say any of those things. But you and Michael made me lose it and went crazy for a moment...You actually scared me..."

My head quickly shifted in his direction. It was hard for me to understand of what he said to me. I gave a slight nod for him to continue.

"I once had an older brother. He was a brave and strong man…" Jack began, "My brother was in the army at the time and went out to fight in Vietnam for our country. He had served over there for a few years with no accident. But one evening, we got the phone call. I was only a teenager when it happened, probably a little under your age. I noticed that my mother was sobbing over the phone. After the call, she hugged me and held me close as she told me that my brother's camp had been struck by a massive bomb attack from the enemy…"

I observed him tightening the grip on his helmet. With his eyes beginning to look glassy, I started to feel sorry for the man. I stood up from the bed and cautiously walked over to him. He did not appear to register me as I patted him gently on the shoulder.

He finally looked at me with wide eyes. "You're not scared of me, kid?"

I shook my head to answer. Then I patted him on the back, urging him to talk some more. I was trying to show him my determination to trust him.

"Fortunately, he actually survived the attack," the Soldier continued with his story, "So we were happy that he was still alive. But as we went go to him at the airport, his new condition took us by surprise. He had lost function in both of his legs and was in a wheelchair. After the incident, he was never the same. He did not want to go outside or to be with his family. He spent a lot of hours by himself. In the end, he..." He started to shake and turned away from me.

I shook him lightly to get his attention, wanting to hear the rest of his story.

"He…committed suicide in a bathtub. Apparently, he could not live like an invalid man who could no longer serve his home country. Instead of trying to have a great life, he quit just like that. When I saw you, I felt like seeing the whole scenario once again. I could not do it again, nor did I want to relive that tragedy ever again…Please forgive me…I am really sor-"

I witnessed a tear coming down his cheek and I froze instantly. I had never seen a man cry since my father years ago when my grandma passed away. I remembered when my mother had hugged in order to comfort him. I thought about doing the same for the Soldier. I knew that he wasn't going to be any sadder. After a minute more with a mental debate with myself, I decided to try to go with my plan, even though my feelings told me otherwise. I approached him and gently placed my arms around him and started patting him on the back.

Without warning, Jack grabbed the front of my shirt and tugged me onto his lap. His arms were around my torso and he had his head deeply buried in my shirt.

At first, I felt more awkward than before. Soon, though, the uneasy feeling disappeared and I relaxed myself. Then I came to understand that Jack was not a crazed lunatic at all. Jack was just a normal man and a human being with emotions and was feeling very sad. I continued rubbing his back as he cried and held me tightly. It was almost a good feeling to know that I wasn't the only one who was crying as I comforted the grown man.

After a while, Jack released his grip and let me get off from his lap. He sniffed slightly as he rubbed his eyes. "There is nothing wrong with a hug between men is there? That's why it is called a man-hug, right?"

I snickered lightly as I shook my head to answer his first question.

Jack glanced at me and frowned at first, but smiled shortly after. He placed his helmet back on his head, covering half of his face. "Remember...THIS NEVER HAPPENED, MAGGOT!"

I jumped in surprise when he started to yell like usual, but I noticed that he was still smiling at me. I nodded back, smiling weakly back as I went over to the door and opened it for him.

Right before he went out of the door, the Soldier whispered in my ear, "Don't worry, kid. It's just an act for the most part. Yelling also makes killing easier to deal with. So just play along, alright?" He gave me a quick salute as he walked out from my room. "YOU WILL COME TO DINNER, LITTLE MAGGOT! AND YOU WILL ENJOY EVERY BIT OF IT, PRIVATE TWINKLE-TOES!" He turned around and marched away.

I smiled lightly as I carefully closed the door, feeling closer to the RED Team and Jack the Soldier.


Translations:

Je ne vais pas vous faire du mal une belle- I will not harm you beautiful one

petit ami- honey