Hey look! It's chapter 8!
Chapter 8: Thuds and Hisses
Sonic: ...Now what?
Nimue: Oh yeah! I'm supposed to tell you how to defeat King Arthur!
Sonic: Wait, so you finally figured it out?
Nimue: Yep! And I gotta tell you, it is really complicated!
Sonic: Just my luck. -_-
Nimue: First, you have to get all three sacred swords. Lastly, you have to use them against Arthur.
Sonic: ...That's it?
Nimue: That's it. :)
Sonic: ...So...those two steps are very complicated. -_0
Nimue: Definitely. :)
Sonic: Well...we have two sacred swords, but...
Nimue: But?
Sonic: But they disappeared into our inventory and I don't know how to get them back!
Nimue: *confused* Huh? They weren't supposed to do that.
Sonic: 0_0 What?! Then what am I gonna do???
Nimue: Uh...hang on, I'll check out the enclosed instruction book. *gets instruction book and quickly looks through it* Umm...aha! All you have to do is do the Hokey-Pokey--
Sonic: *interrupts in disbelief* Are you bleeping crazy?!
Nimue: --or get Caliburn to call them back.
Sonic: *calm* Oh, ok.
Caliburn: Great. Now let's go before this scene becomes boring.
Sonic: *to Nimue, angrily* Yeah, Nimue! You're boring!
Nimue: *startled* Oh. I'm sorry. *looks down sadly*
Sonic: *to Caliburn* Alright, which knight do we go after now?
Caliburn: I believe it is Sir Percival.
Sonic: Hmm, he sounds like a worthy opponent.
Caliburn: Oh, I should mention that--
Sonic: *interrupts and starts walking away* If he thinks he's any more manly than the last two, I'll send him running like a girl!
Caliburn: But--
Sonic: Less talking, more walking, Caliburn.
Caliburn: *gives up and follows Sonic*
ERiN: They walked--
Sonic: How come we're always walking instead of running?
ERiN: Quiet. That's not important. Anyway, they came to the top of a cliff.
Sonic: *looks around at the barren landscape* Hey, is that Sir Percival in the distance?
Caliburn: *looks in the distance* Yes, I believe so.
Sonic: *sits down* We'll wait for him to come to us.
(A few minutes later...)
Percival: *finally gets close enough and is about to say something*
Sonic: *beats her to it* I know, I know. Freeze. *gets into fighting stance* Let's go, dude! Man to man combat!
Percival: *takes off her helmet and throws it before Sonic, then speaks angrily in his face* So! My title being "Sir" automatically makes me a guy! Is that it, Hedgeboy?
Sonic: *jumps in surprise* Yikes! He's a girl! 0_0
Caliburn: Well I tried to tell you...
Percival: *growls and stomps her foot* This is what happens when King Arthur refuses to call me Dame! I'm...so...SICK OF IT!!! *throws her sword Laevatein at the ground*
Sonic: *backs up* Whoa. :|
Caliburn: Yes, she's a bit sensitive about being referred to as a male.
Sonic: I'm sorry, Blaze. *quickly* I mean, Percival! Percival. *glances around* Hey, where is Blaze, anyway?
Percival: I dunno. Tahiti, maybe.
Sonic: Uh-huh...Couldn't find her, huh.
Percival: Nope.
Caliburn: Save the hugs and kisses for later. We need to get this battle going.
Sonic: Hey, you're not supposed to say that yet!
Caliburn: What, the part about getting this battle going?
Sonic: No, before that!
Caliburn: Oh right! Sorry, I must've read ahead in the script again.
Sonic: Wait, again?
Caliburn: Yes. The first time was when I told you to see the Lady of the Lake before battling with Lancelot and seeing Blacksmith. It was supposed to be the other way around.
Sonic: Oh. Well that doesn't matter now. *to Percival* We gonna fight, or what?
Percival: *sighs and sounds discontented* I don't know, I'm just not feeling it, y'know? I mean, being mistaken for a guy and all...it's depressing.
Sonic: *sympathetically* You poor dear... *points at her sternly* You're not innocent!
Caliburn: *rolls eyes impatiently* We're done with that "innocent" thing already!
Sonic: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Percival: *takes a sip from the Holy Grail, then puts it back in her pocket* You know what? Keep Laevatein. *kicks her sword towards Sonic*
Sonic: Huh? But...
Percival: *sadly* I guess I'm really not worthy of being a knight after all. Goodbye. *walks over to the edge of the cliff and takes a deep breath and talks to herself* I can do this, I just have to trick myself. Look at that. What? *looks away and falls off the cliff* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *continues screaming*
Sonic: *stays calmly in one place*
Caliburn: You're not going to save her?
Sonic: *shrugs* Why should I? I got all three sacred swords, right? *picks up Laevatein, which then disappears*
Caliburn: I suppose, but you're not going to let Percival die, are you?
Sonic: I thought it's what she wanted. *hears screaming fade out and waits a few seconds* Hm, that's weird. No thud. *hears a thud* :| Oh.
Percival: *from the bottom of the cliff* Darn! I'm not dead! I have to try again.
Sonic and Caliburn: *exchange strange glances*
Percival: *climbs back to the top a minute later* Ok, maybe this time... *falls off cliff again* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! *hits the bottom* Aw, man! Come on! *climbs back up, panting* Ok...maybe...it will work...this time... *falls off cliff yet again* I'm too tired to scream anymore.
Caliburn: She's just going to keep hurting herself.
Sonic: *peers over the edge* I dunno, a fall from this height would kill a man.
Percival: *stops falling in mid-air, enfuriated* WHAT WAS THAT?! *rewinds falling, putting her back up at the top*
Sonic: *gasps*
Percival: *punches Sonic in the face* Take THAT!
Sonic: *groans and falls over*
Percival: *stands over Sonic menacingly* Who's the man now?
Sonic: *weakly* You are.
Percival: *furiously* I'M NOT A MAN!! *beats up Sonic*
Caliburn: *clears his throat* Can we argue about this later? We have a kingdom to save, Knave.
Sonic: F*** YOU!
Caliburn: *stabs Sonic in the rear*
Sonic: *clutches his rear and runs around, yelling in pain* YEEEEEOOOOOWW! OOH! OW! OUCH!
Percival: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a rendezvous with the bottom of the cliff. *about to jump off again*
Sonic: *pulls Percival back* Here, you'll feel much better if you had another drink. *grabs the water canteen from Caliburn's mouth*
Caliburn: Hey! I was drinking that!
Sonic: *to Percival* You got a cup or something? I don't think you want Caliburn's germs.
Caliburn: I beg your pardon??
Percival: *takes out Holy Grail*
Sonic: *looks at it in disgust* No offense, but that cup looks like a piece of junk.
Percival: *glares at him* Piece of junk?! This is the Holy Grail you're talking about!
Sonic: You mean the one that if you drink from it you become immortal or something? :o
Percival: *rolls eyes* Yes, what did you think it-- 0_0 ...Ohhhh, so that's why it didn't work... *glares at Grail* Curse the Holy Grail!! *throws Grail at the ground*
Sonic: *gasps in horror and picks up the Holy Grail, brushing the dirt off it* Not the Holy Grail! What have you done?! *shakily* You could've brought doom to us all... *to the Holy Grail* She didn't mean to curse you. No... *quickly puts it in his inventory* Well, now that we're done here, we can go. *starts to walk away*
Caliburn: Now there's only one thing left for you to do.
Sonic: What?
Caliburn: Women.
Sonic: 0_0 *stammers, then faints*
Caliburn: We'll start the next chapter when he wakes up. In the meantime, please review.
PS: In case you didn't pick up on what Caliburn was talking about, he was referring to the Knights' code of chivalry, in which it says to "do women". Whatever that means.
