Something Beautiful

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Chapter 9: Remember, reveal, realize, react

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Had no beta reader on this here. Tried to find mistakes but every time I read through I find new ones. So help is appreciated ^^

And I am so sorry. I promised to upload during Christmas but couldn't make it. Mostly because I wanted more than my creativity would allow me to do. So I took some time to focus and finally pulled it through ^^

Thanks for reviewing. AgentLunA, A ShrinkinG VIOLET GIrL, isaiah norris, mayonegg, TheCrampReturns and especially Red77. Your persistent requests were what actually made me finish the chapter. And from now on it's gonna be more fun for me to write so it'll be easier.

As an apology the chapter is longer than the others. So I hope that's a comfort ^^

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Natasha closed her eyes in the need of rest while they were being transported on one of Stark's jets to another mission she was doing with Clint. She already missed Bruce and his warm and calming embrace. But this wasn't the time for such thoughts right now.

"You look tired." Clint stated. He had seen it for about a week, not worrying him at first but it made him anxious more and more. This wasn't her.

"I'm fine. Really." She stated, her eyes still closed, all the machine she was.

"It doesn't look that way. Bruce is keeping you busy?" he said with a cocked eyebrow, a big smile on his face, showing his real thoughts all too clearly.

Natasha didn't want to lie to him. "Maybe." A sigh. "But seriously, I'm fine. Just about the to get the hang of it. Our love triangle with the Hulk seems to work out."

"I hope so," he grinned. "I would never get my friend being treated like..."

She interrupted him. "Don't continue. It's not like that, and you know it."

"Of course." He shook his head. "And actually I was talking about Banner." This was a lie, but he used it to conceal his idea of getting more out of her.

"He is not that fragile anymore, Clint. He has learned much these past weeks." She said sternly and then realized what his smile meant. "Damn you."

"I know your tricks, Nat. And Bruce is such a lucky man for sure."

Natasha decided to say nothing else, turning away and pretending to sleep.

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The mission had been successful. The target had told them everything they wanted to know. The last thing they needed to do was cleaning up. Clint was already busy at work, tying up the henchmen while Natasha downloaded the drive onto her stick. It was then when, from one second to the other, a sudden, terrible nausea overcame her like a shock-wave. She turned around, barely able to lean over the nearest paper bin when she threw up.

"Natasha?" Clint asked, confused for a moment before he tied the knot tighter and walked towards her, holding back her hair while she was sick.

"The food on Stark's jets is terrible." She said. "I knew it was fatal when I smelled it, but... Oh damn." One more time she threw up, then desperately gasped for air. The in-flight meal had tasted disgusting. Weirdly, a lot tasted different these past days. "It's better now. I'm okay. Just be glad, you had none of it."

"You know I like cooking myself, or Laura's cooking." He said with a smile.

Natasha stood up again, putting her messy hair back in place. "Your cooking is rubbish, only you can survive what you make." Damn, she missed Mrs Barton's creations. "Okay, I wanna clean up, so let's finish this and get back."

While she made the police call so their prisoners could be arrested, she put her hand onto her belly. The Black Widow wasn't stupid, she knew what these symptoms indicated, but it was downright impossible.

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The next morning Natasha awoke with a grimace on her face. Her abdomen hurt with a stinging pain that made her cringe. She rolled over on her side, which made her feel a stickiness between her legs, and decided to clean up in the bathroom. A nausea hit her as soon as she stood up.

"You're okay?" Bruce mumbled from within the sheets he had wrapped himself into as soon as he had lost his source of warmth.

"Yeah, go back to sleep." Natasha assured him with a soothing voice. There was no need for the doctor to know about it.

Staring at the red stain made her feel sick again but she was able to fight it down and equip the new underwear with a pad. She tried to minimize the pitiful groans she could barely hold back whenever her body seized in pain. What Natasha hadn't been prepared for was the dark and bloody water in the toilet after she had relieved herself and cleaned up. Quickly flushing she tried to get that image out of her head.

At least that question was now solved, well not solved, it just… didn't matter anymore. Whatever might have been growing inside of her must have developed a fatal flaw during gestation, causing her body to end it. And as terrible as that might sound, this was life. It could go one way or the other. It could work out or not. It wasn't uncommon in such an early stage. If it actually had been a pregnancy, which had seemed out of the question before since they had been careful every time once she had been restored. Maybe it was just some weird way of her body coping with the change.

The other much more comfortable option was that her symptoms were simply a quite rude manifestation of the natural side effects when having your period. Her body was enhanced after all. There was no way of telling how such a hormonal fluctuation impacted on her. Outside forces like anaesthetics, drugs and toxins might be handled differently than what her body produced itself. A shudder went through her. Would it be like that every fucking month from now on? Dear sweet father of all spies… Maybe this miracle was actually curse.

What still confused her was the timeframe. When she had gotten back with Banner from their vacation she had spotted but not much else. Now, only two weeks later she was getting the payback for being treated so kindly the first time. Like a teenager going through the process a few months until her hormones had stabilized to make out more regular.

Fighting down the sickness and cramps she made her way back to Bruce to find comfort in his embrace. He happily obliged and his calm breathing lulled her back to sleep as well.

But the rest was short-lived when the AI's voice sounded over the speaker. "I apologize to interrupt this carefree morning, but Mr Stark has news on the scepter's location. Everyone has to be ready for battle in 20 minutes. Breakfast on the jet."

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Mission accomplished, scepter returned to safety, minimal casualties, cut of a few more of HYDRA's heads and kept the Hulk under control. Everything had worked out fine so why couldn't she shake this ominous feeling?

Despite being mostly impervious against alcohol she wanted to mix herself something strong to enjoy the evening despite her current mood. But merely the smell of the strong liquor brought back her nausea with full force. She sighed and rubbed her belly before preparing something fancy without alcohol.

As soon as she saw Banner walking towards her everything else disappeared and her heart swelled with the love she had for him. He had done great in the fight, even protected her and Clint when he got critically injured. The thought about how this prestigious, heroic piece of man belonged to her made her lips curve in a smile, ready to get into flirt mode when she saw him doing just that.

"How'd a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?" he asked her with that specific tilt of his head when he did something cheeky.

"Fella done me wrong." Natasha replied and adapted to his way of pretending to only just to meet her while filling up a glass for him as well.

"You got lousy taste in men, kid." He said with sly humor in his tone.

"He's not so bad. Well, he has a temper. Deep down he's all fluff." She leaned forward and made sure to capture his eyes with her gaze. "Fact is, he's not like anybody I've ever known. All my friends are fighters." She started to play with her drink and was delighted in the way he tensed up after her next words. "And here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he'll win."

Bruce had quickly recovered from how she had portrayed him. "Sounds amazing."

And now for the finale. "He's also a huge dork." When she saw him almost choking she continued with the biggest secret of all. "Chicks dig that." Time to show him that she'd go all the way with tonight. Well, maybe not in her current condition - despite the 'problem' had magically almost stopped this morning -, but going… down would be an option. "So what do you think? Should I fight this? Or run with it?"

That look she gave him was her telltale sign of revealing that he'd be a very lucky man as soon as they returned to their quarters. "Run with it, right?"

She grinned and gave the slightest of nods before her eyes showed him an even deeper meaning than simple sex. "All the way."

Holy shit, had Natasha just indirectly told him she was open to have a family with him? His astonished and baffled face must have been an entertaining sight since her reaction was the most joyful and delighted smile he had ever seen on her. "Isn't there anything that might be an insurmountable obstacle?" He fell out of his role. "What about… our jobs? Is the current situation not a bit too… dangerous? Our lives might never be calm enough to… pull this through..."

"Will it ever not be?" She sipped on her drink and arched an eyebrow. "But never say never." Natasha winked at him before wandering off to the others. She didn't even understand what foolish emotion had brought her to agreeing to this. It was childishly stupid to think there would ever be a chance. But the thought was just too wonderful to not consider. And as far as she had found out through the scientists' report the child could actually turn out to be normal.

The second she had retreated and was out of sight Steve walked over to him with a big smile on his face. "It's nice."

Bruce still had to come to terms with what she had just agreed to. They both knew this right now was a bad moment to consider kids, yet someday… he would be a father of a child. "What, what, what is?" He stumbled over the words.

Steve made a gesture with his head. "You and Romanoff."

Did he hear them? Well, of course he did. "No, we haven't, that wasn't…"

"It's okay, nobody's breaking any by-laws." Yet his look told him that we wanted to see his friends married before any children arrived. "It's just, she's not the most… motherly person in the world despite her being a great leader. With all the weight on her shoulders she'd have a hard time stepping aside from the superhero business for nine months."

Yes, there's that...

He patted on Banner's shoulder. "But with you she seems very relaxed about the topic which truly surprises me."

Don't destroy the nice moment, Bruce thought with his mouth opened in shock before he found his speech again. "No, Natasha, she...she stays faithful to the priorities she sets. And even when it comes to caring for the child, I mean, I am totally devoted to the responsibility and fine with it."

He had to chuckle at Banner's stoic expression. "Just joking. Of course our Nat's gonna be a great ma. She's earned it to have her long given up wish fulfilled." Then he got back to his awkward, typically Steve-like demeanor. "Look… As maybe the world's leading authority on 'waiting too long'...don't. You both deserve a win." He gave him a heads up before walking away with the words: "But I wanna be the child's godfather."

Bruce stood there entirely baffled until he could think again. The statement brought so many things to his mind. The child would grow up among the Avengers, protected and loved. This team was his family and, maybe soon, Natasha and he would add more to its numbers. Then, in a stupid moment of clarity, he remembered the most important thing. "You will have to talk to Natasha about that, not me. She's the boss." He chuckled and sipped from his beer, entertaining himself the beautiful fantasies that could be his family one day.

Natasha had listened to the scene playing out from a safe distance. It was such a foolish idea. Now wasn't the right time. Her body and heart said yes but her conscience said no. So now that she had agreed she would have to stall it in any way possible. A few years maybe. Bruce wasn't the youngest anymore, but he still had at least a decade until it would get awkward to have a child.

While all of them were having a fun time trying to lift the hammer she was not afraid of Bruce imitating the Hulk's appearance but most importantly she kept out of the contest since, just this evening in a crazy thought when nobody had been looking, she had lifted the hammer to her own surprise.

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The moment the Maximoff girl had spun her magic around Natasha's head the Avenger was swallowed up in the darkness of her past she had tried so hard to forget. A familiar setting surrounding her which made her hold on tight to the railing of the staircase as she looked at the replay of the most defining moment of her life. Her dance instructor shouting to do it all over again because none of them were good enough yet.

You are made of marble. A voice behind her said coldly.

Killing without remorse. So much red in her ledger. She had to fight on, be worthy.

Sloppy. Pretending to fail. The ceremony is necessary for you to take your place in the world.

I have no place in the world.

But she did! There was a… person. Natasha couldn't remember his name anymore. All she felt was panic. Then they took from her the last part that made her human. Or did they? Tools, scientists, something stretching her body.

No, it never happened this way. Natasha couldn't keep a clear thought while her body seized in pain, or was it...?

"No time for a sedative. We need to cut her open right now." The doctor said.

But why? She tried to sit up, to look at what they were gazing at. She realized that they had pulled her hospital gown upwards, exposing her swollen belly, which was... shifting, like limbs pushing against a confinement. Natasha saw the bruises blooming while it kicked, trying to break out. She saw the doctor taking the scalpel and readying himself. The tortured woman closed her eyes expecting her skin to be torn open by the knife, but it wasn't the tool that ripped through…

She awoke screaming while the familiar arms of Barton tried to keep her down and from murdering him in her reflexes.

"It's alright, Nat. You're safe. Maximoff was just playing a trick on you." He gently caressed her cheek, showing her that a touch could mean more than just pain.

In the background he could hear Stark talking to Hill. "We took a hit, we'll shake it off."

"For now I'd stay in stealth mode." Maria recommended.

The realization of what actually had happened dawned upon the Black Widow and she just wanted to roll up into a ball and cry but she tried to stay calm, as much as she could be. This was a nightmare but it all had seemed so real. As if she actually lived through it, or would live it soon. The child was a bad idea. She knew that by now. A monster born from two of the most gruesome beings, one being physically a monster, and the other being a cruel and heartless being. What good could come of that?

As soon as Natasha had calmed down enough Clint went back to the pilot's seat.

The last thing Natasha heard before her body succumbed to exhaustion again were Barton's words: "A safe house."

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"Honey. I'm home." Clint said with a grin as saw his wife approaching him. "Hi. Company. Sorry didn't call ahead."

"This is an agent of some kind." Tony tried to make clear.

Oh, no, Stark, you don't. Guess who is better at hiding secrets than finding them out. "Gentleman, this is Laura."

The woman merely looked shy but also kind of cheeky enough to fit to the greatest archer in the world. "I know all your names."

A sound made Clint grin even more. Yep, now guess what, most awesome super-heroes in the world. "Oooh, incoming."

"Dad!" The kids now cheered at the surprising arrival of their father.

"How you guys doing? Ooh…" he hugged them tightly. "...look at your face! Oh my goodness!" they had grown since the last time he had been home.

Tony still didn't believe. There could be no other reason… "These are...smaller agents."

"Did you bring Auntie Nat?" The little girl wanted to know, clearly a fan of the heroine.

The young voice shook her out of the current grogginess she was in. "Why don't you hug her and find out?"

Steve was polite enough to apologize. "Sorry for barging in on you."

There was no way Tony Stark wouldn't say anything to that. "Yeah, we woulda called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed."

Time to explain. "Yeah, well Fury helped me set this up when I joined. He kept it off SHIELD's files, I'd like to keep it that way. I figure it's a good place to lay low."

Meanwhile Natasha had regained enough of her person to act normally. "I really missed you. How's little Natasha, huh?"

"She is…" Okay, now there was the bombshell she and Clint had kept from her for a few days since the last ultrasound. "...Nathaniel."

Natasha knelt down with a smile. "Traitor."

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"See you worried for nothing. Can't even feel the difference, can you?" Clint tried to explain and assure his wife but it was all fine.

She had avoided the subject for now but also started to lead him into a direction he had surely never taken before, at least not to this extent. "If they're sleeping here, some of them are gonna have to double up."

"Heh heh heh. Yeah, that's not gonna sell." He merely shook his head at that.

She didn't get distracted. "What about Nat, and Dr. Banner? How long has that been going on?" Would that hint be enough for him?

"Has what?" He had told her already that there was some form of relationship between them. So what was she talking about?

His eagle eyed vision hadn't seen it? Really? "Ha ha ha! You are so cute."

"Nat and...and Banner? What about them?" He was clueless now, utterly clueless.

"I'll explain when you're older. 'Hawkeye.'" How could he not see the signs she had showed for three times now?

"Oh. Okay." He merely countered with a grin.

Okay, now let's focus him on the topic. "It's bad, right? Nat seems really shaken."

He didn't catch what she intended to say. "Ultron has these allies, these uh, kids, they're punks really. They carry a big damn stick. Nat took a serious hit. Someone's gonna have to teach 'em some manners."

He really didn't get it. Also he had just addressed another topic as she followed him through the room to the window. "That someone being you. You know I totally support your Avenging. I couldn't be prouder." She messaged his shoulders. "But I see those guys, those… gods,..." She wanted to formulated it in the least accusing way possible.

"You don't think they need me." He said, feeling small again.

She just shook her head and hugged him even tighter in fear of losing her husband and father of her children. "I think they do. Which is a lot scarier. They're a mess." The statement was more than true.

"Yeah. I guess they're my mess." The weight on his shoulders came crashing down on him once again.

"You need to be sure that this team is really a team and that they have your back." She made certain he could feel her swollen belly. "Things are changing for us. In a few months time, you and me are gonna be outnumbered." If everything went right it would, if not… if the stress upon maybe losing her husband was too much… "I need… Just be sure."

"Yes, ma'am." He could feel the anxiety in her movements.

As if in an afterthought she added. "I can feel the difference."

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"Natasha, I think we should talk." Laura stated and was surprised that the Black Widow hadn't even recognized her entrance.

"I'm sorry but I am just not in the state of…" She tried to start but was interrupted.

"In the state of being pregnant? Nat, I know the signs." She put her arms around her own very swollen belly. "From what I heard: You were protecting. But I as a matter of fact also know that it isn't always reliable. So before you go into a fight I just want you to be certain of what you're doing to you and your child."

"I can't be pregnant." At least not yet. It's too early, not the right time. After the dream she knew there would never be the right time.

"Have you seen yourself? That oddly sick face and the way you subconsciously touch your stomach? You are a good faker but not good enough to fool someone who has carried three children."

"I might," she emphasized, "be able to have kids after what had happened to me, but I am not carrying one now. There is no option. We were safe!"

There was a flicker of doubts. Maybe it actually was the problem with radiation making her feel sick. But damn, Laura Barton's instincts were never wrong. "When was your last period?"

"I never really had a proper one." She countered and spoke truth so this topic could soon be over. "After the Hulk's assault Bruce and I only had sex with a condom. I spotted right after we came back. A week after the others learned the awesome news of me being able to have kids again. And then again roughly a week ago. My reproductive organs have been messed up with, I know that. It might be years until I can actually conceive."

"You do know there can be some side effects like spotting while being pregnant? In general it's nothing really threatening. It's just that your body is dealing with what it is carrying." She too had that when she had been pregnant with her second child and the doctor had assured her overly frightened self that this could actually happen without any danger to the child.

"There still is no way Bruce would be the father. The condoms have all been intact." Well, except for the one time the Hulk had… But even with that one chance, which was very slim since her body had been cleaned up by Cho, it was still absurd.

Laura had been prepared for this so she stretched out her hand, a little plastic object in her hand. "Do it. And be sure."

"Why? There is no need. It's just side effects until my body can cope with his radioactive fluids."

"Do it." She said again and with that sent Natasha off to the bathroom where she tried to prove once and for all that her fears were just imagination.

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Laura was leaning against the wall when Natasha came back out, a look of disbelief and shock on her face and her hands shaking while holding the plastic device. It was easy to see what the little test had shown her. "Will you tell him now?"

Natasha's body felt so numb she didn't know she was answering her. "I have to."

Okay, time to make her last delusions ripped away from her. "So I thought you were protecting." And oh she knew all too well, that it could go wrong, but every child of hers was a miracle and she had embraced it, wished for it with all her heart, despite not expecting it in the first place.

"We were," she turned around to face her completely. "It can't be his."

Confusion made her eyes open wide. "But whose...?"

Natasha felt fear striking her, eyes filling with tears. The test also had an indicator of how long she was pregnant. "The Hulk's."

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Btw, the dance instructor is played by the same man who did DAVROS in doctor who. Don't ask why I know that, maybe I was rewatching the scene way too often and started wondering when I heard him. XD Here's a compilation pic of that with both characters side by side on twitter. if the link screws up as usually, you should know how to enter it to complete the link: /aerithmonkishu/status/717759970507431936

Also, sorry for saying Nat can lift the hammer. It was just a funny joke that I HAD to put in. Because since she rejected trying I had this… need to work it into the fanfic.

From now on I'll use a lot more reinvented quotes from AoU you will never be able to forget and always think about when you watch the movie again. Muhahaha. (I am having this issue since I already wrote all of them the moment I saw the movie the first time. XD)

Thank you so much for kicking me in the arse to finish this chapter. If it weren't for the commenters this might have taken another two months.

And one last thing. I did a black widow cosplay re-acting an entire comic page and guess what happened! The comic author shared the pic and was so nice in the message she sent me! Couldn't believe it! The greatest honor a cosplayer can get. Praises from the actual creator! The pics are on fb, Tumblr, DeviantArt and Twitter. Link to the accounts in my profile.

I couldn't find an answer for days, not knowing what to say to that but I found the words a free days ago. Hope I didn't irritate her.