Here you guys go! Sorry I didn't update when I said I would, but I got side-tracked! I hope you enjoy this one.
Disclaimer: Now, let's use our brains. I'm quite sure that you are all painstakingly aware that none of us on this site owns the 39 Clues. Or iPods. Or Google. Or...Shakespeare.
You Flap-Dragon!
"ACK!" I fell off the couch as the song blasted into my ears, via the iPod head phones. A slur of words, riddled with a heavy beat and meaningless sentences blocked out the rest of the world as I fumbled with the iPod to turn down the volume.
Jonah strolled into the living room at that moment, rapping something under his breath. He started laughing as he saw me, sitting on the floor, fumbling with the iPod and the headphones.
"Nice one, Dani!" he laughed, causing me to blush as I stood up.
"It's not my fault! My stupid sisters must have uploaded the rap songs onto my iPod! It startled me!" I defended myself, throwing the music device on the couch in disgust.
Jonah looked a bit confused. "You don't like rap?" he asked carefully, stretching out each word carefully.
I shook my head and gagged. "It's awful! Worst music in the world!"
Jonah looked slightly more angry than confused now, and he said, "Wait, so you don't like rap?"
"Hate it," I agreed, shaking my head solemnly.
I paused to think. "In fact, I'd say that it's probably the worst kind of music out there!"
That did it. Jonah snapped. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" he yelled.
I leaned into his face and pinched the bridge of my nose, just to irritate him more. In the high pitched squeaky voice I yelled, "I'M SAYING THAT RAP IS THE WORST MUSIC IN THE WORLD!"
I sat back on the couch as Jonah's face turned red. Then, he exploded out, "Thou jarring bat-fowling lout!"
Despite the obvious insult, I stifled a grin and watched in shock as Jonah yelled, "Thou fobbing pox-marked barnacle!
"Thou fobbing urchin-snouted moldwarp!"
"Thou vain urchin-snouted joithead!"
"Thou wayward boil-brained puttock!"
I froze as he stormed out of the room and frowned in confusion. "Did you just call me a buttock?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. "Those be fighting words, boy!" I exclaimed in an accent that was supposed to sound country/ish.
I heard Jonah let out a strangled yell as he walked down the hallway to the Command Center, trying not to lose it.
That night while I was on my shift at the C.C.C, I had some free time. The Vespers had sent in no new news, so I went online to Google and searched up Shakespearean insults. A list popped up, and I noticed that some looked familiar.
As I scrolled down the list, I clicked on a few of the definitions, and read them with wide eyes.
"I didn't know that stuff like that wasn't censored!" I whispered, shell-shocked.
Ian walked in at that moment and said, "Aren't you supposed to be working?" in a snobbish voice. Yes, snobbish.
I glared daggers at him and looked at the screen. Then, I yelled, "Thou infectious earth-vexing flap-dragon!"
He took a startled step back and then laughed obnoxiously. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
With a triumphant smile, I pointed at the screen. He read it slowly, read it again, and then gasped.
"My God, show some self restraint!" Ian yelled, and backed out of the room.
I giggled lightly and grabbed my phone from the table, eager to do something. So, I went to my CliqueMe status and wrote: I just called Ian an flap-dragon…I consider this a personal victory. I also was recently cursed out by my cuz' in Shakespeare talk. All in all, a pretty interesting day.
Admit it! You laughed! Or smiled! Or had a mental image of you smiling! Or better yet, you had a mental image of Ian's face when I called him a flap-dragon, or Jonah's face when I asked him if he had just called me a buttock.
Hehe... This is why I loooooove Shakespeare!
~Dani :D
