Chapter 9: Family
Dean knocked on Buffy's door and shuffled his feet nervously and heard Sam clear his throat. They were both feeling a bit awkward but since they'd promised to come back before leaving town again here they were on her porch. Sam had gotten on the computer the night before and had found a possible lead but when they discussed it they both agreed they couldn't leave yet. Dean turned to look at Sammy who was dressed the same as him, in a nice plaid shirt and jeans that weren't too ripped, his shaggy hair brushed back neatly. Sam gave him a crooked smile as the door open and Dean twisted to find Buffy in a red dress, her hair done up in some intricate style. She looked beyond beautiful. He felt the tension and nerves disappear when she pulled him close for a hug, a big smile on her face. She gave Sam a hug too and ushered them inside.
"Mom's in the kitchen, finishing up everything for dinner, I hope you're hungry." Buffy said cheerfully, oblivious to the way Dean watched her. She hung their coats up and led them into the dining room where she'd been setting the table before they arrived. Sam offered to help with the table while Dean went to see if he could help in the kitchen. He wasn't a cook but he figured he could help with something at least. Joyce smiled at him and kissed his cheek motherly, then offered him the spoon she was holding so he could whip the sweet potatoes. She'd made turkey, ham, sweet potatoes and corn, a casserole of some sort, and had dinner rolls and pie in the oven. Dean's mouth watered at the savory smells and when he tried to sneak a bite, he got a swat on the back of his head good-naturedly.
They all seated themselves, Dean and Sam across from Buffy and Joyce and said grace, then dug in. There was some light-hearted chatter around the table and laughter as Christmas music played softly in the background. Dean and Sam felt at ease for once, and Buffy smiled at Dean throughout the meal. When Dean went for seconds Joyce caught her daughter's eye and motioned for her daughter to join her, saying she was going to get some more to drink. Buffy obeyed and followed her mother into the other room, then leaned on the island and heard Sam laugh about something.
"You and Dean seem really close," Joyce commented. "He's such a nice boy." She grabbed a bottle sparkling cider from the fridge and poured some into a glass. She turned her eyes on her daughter and caught the blush spreading over her cheeks.
"Yeah, he really is." Buffy agreed quietly. "I'm gonna-," Buffy jerked her thumb toward the other room and trailed off, not really knowing how to finish that sentence. She escaped into the dining room again and didn't hear her mother chuckle. The oven timer dinged and she set her cider down to retrieve the pie from the oven when she heard a soft knock on the door. She set her mitts down and went to open the door to the back porch, but found no one. She looked around until her eye caught a movement in the bushes. She started to take a step onto the porch but almost stepped on a small bouquet of flowers that were placed on the mat. There was a box next to them and she bent to pick them up. The name on the box was Buffy's and Joyce glanced around one more time before retreating back inside the kitchen, closing the door behind her.
She set the flowers and box on the island and poked her head into the dining room, seeing that Buffy and the boys were talking and laughing about something. She got her daughter's attention and Buffy followed her into the kitchen. Her daughter's footsteps froze when she saw the flowers and the package on the island and tentatively reached a hand out to touch the box.
Buffy recognized the writing—it was Angel's. She steeled herself and opened the box to find a cross with an intricate design on it, and 3 stones that matched her eyes. The note simply said 'Merry Christmas' and it wasn't signed. She touched the pendant with a fingertip, and started at the sound of Dean's voice behind her.
"Pretty," He grunted, setting down the tray he was carrying. He could guess who the gift was for and the hesitant way she looked at him confirmed it. But he was in far too good a mood to let Dead Boy ruin it so he let her see that he wasn't upset enough to fight. If he was ever going to say how he felt, it'd have to be soon. Especially after the dream he'd had that morning, and the memory of it filled him with heat. "Mine's better." He said smugly, lifting his beer to take a drink with a smirk at her and she laughed.
"Is that right?" Buffy asked, setting the box down and turning to face him fully. He took two steps that brought him less than an inch from her, his smirk still on his lips. His eyes met hers and held and searched them. He set him beer down and in one swift move he pulled her close and kissed her, his hands cradling her face and his eyes falling shut. She kissed him back, it was a sweet kiss, not a fiery passion-loaded one she was used to, but it still made her knees weak. He broke the kiss a moment later and brushed a feather-soft one across her brow.
"Merry Christmas, Buffy." He whispered and she smiled. He slipped an arm around her waist and led her from the room and into the living room where Sam and Joyce were waiting. Buffy knelt beside the tree and Dean stood in the doorway, leaning against the jamb just behind her. She sorted through the gifts for Sam's and handed it to him, then gave her mother hers and Dean his. She grabbed the one labeled to her from Sam and started to open it. He'd given her a fighting ax she'd admired since the first time she'd seen it in L.A. and a gift card for any store in the mall. She squealed and hugged Sam tightly in thanks. He grinned and hugged her back, sticking his tongue out at Dean and his ears went pink when she gushed about his gifts.
"Willow suggested the gift card, and I remembered you said you liked the ax." Sam explained and she grinned.
"Oh I do! Thank you so much!" Buffy breathed, examining the small ax happily. It was the length of her arm, double-sided and was good for blunt-force attacks and its weight was nothing in her hand.
"Hey don't forget mine!" Dean protested and Buffy giggled. She set her new toy down and turned to see how Dean liked her gift. She hadn't known what to get him so she'd gotten a butterfly knife, a case for some of his weapons and some sunglasses. The knife was sharp and he was deftly spinning it around his fingers, playing with it. "You're going to hurt yourself by doing that, you know." She scolded but he gave her a, Are you kidding me? Look so she rolled her eyes and turned back to her mother and Sam. She'd gotten Sam a book about Slayers and demons, one she didn't think he had yet and he was already reading it. She laughed and tossed a candy cane at him to get his attention and he looked up at her with an abashed grin.
"Thanks Buffy, I don't have this one." He told her and she laughed again and told him he was welcome. She looked at her mother next and saw that she was admiring the sweater Buffy had given her with a pleased eye.
"This is beautiful Buffy, thank you." Joyce said then set it aside to go over and give her daughter a one-armed hug. She reached under the tree for Buffy's gift from her and handed it to her daughter, then handed the boys theirs. Buffy bit back a groan and heard the boys do the same as they all opened packages with clothes. Buffy got a dress she'd been eyeing so she wasn't all that disappointed and the boys got a couple plaid shirts. Buffy reached under for the last set of gifts and pulled out Sam's from Dean, Dean's from Buffy, Joyce's from Sam and Dean, and Buffy's from Dean. She peered into the bag and saw him glance sidelong at her, trying to gauge what her reaction would be. She pulled out a scarlet sheath and a dagger and turned the blade over in her hands, inspecting it. It was a gorgeous blade.
She noticed the engraving and looked at Dean curiously. He held out a hand and she handed it to him, getting to her feet to stand next to him as he pointed out one of the inscriptions. "This is a protection symbol; it'll keep most demons or vamps from using it against you." He flipped the blade over and drew a breath. "This one is in Etruscan." He said simply and she turned questioning eyes on him so he leaned closer to her ear. "It means always." He brushed a light kiss against her earlobe and handed it back to her. She took it with shaky hands and her gaze locked on his, watching him for several moments in stunned silence.
At Sam's happy cry she broke herself from her daze and landed with a crash back in the room. She blinked to get the dizziness out of her head and she saw Dean exhale the breath she hadn't noticed he was holding. She looked over at Sam to see he was examining a set of throwing stars and 2 texts, unsure which he wanted to look at first. She smiled at his enthusiasm and then looked at her mother, who was ooh-ing and aah-ing over a vase from the guys.
Her mother stood and gave both Winchester's a hug, thanking them for the gift and for coming over to spend the holiday with them. She kissed both of them on the cheek and Buffy giggled when they blushed at the attention. Joyce went into the other room to put the vase somewhere and Sam started on his book again, leaving Buffy and Dean. Dean slipped his hand into hers and walked over to the unoccupied couch, sat and tugged Buffy down with him. She landed beside him and she cuddled up to him as he switched the TV on in search of something to watch. After fighting over the remote briefly and Dean holding it above her head, Buffy finally managed to convince him to stop on a channel playing a Christmas movie.
Later that night Dean stood on the porch with Buffy, watching Sam in the car still reading his book. They were supposed to head out the next day because Sam had found some sort of case but he had some mixed feelings about it. Buffy noticed his silence and sat on the porch, then waited until he sat beside her to ask. "Dean? Are you okay?"
He glanced at her and felt like forcing a smile, but he couldn't so he didn't. He looked back at the Impala and shook his head finally. "No, not really."
Buffy linked her arm with his and laid her head on his shoulder. "Want to talk about it?"
"Sammy found a case in Arizona. Seems there was a girl who'd gone through some pretty bad crap and she's a spirit now." He stated, debating how much he should say.
"Yeah, you guys deal with those all the time. Why the quietyness?" She prompted, and he chuckled at her usual way of mangling the English language.
"This girl had a rough time of it. She was raped repeatedly growing up, the first time by her best friend's stepdad, and they were never charged. Sam said there was evidence on the coroner's report that the girl was a cutter, and finally couldn't deal anymore—she offed herself. She's killed two of the guys that raped her when she was alive." Dean finished, his voice heavy with anger at the bastards that'd hurt the girl. I guess I'm just not used to sympathizing with the ghosts, you know? I mean is it terrible of me to say Good for her?" He asked, and looked down at Buffy. "I mean god, if it had been you…"
"Dean, it's human to sympathize with her, she went through something no one should have to, but it's not for us to decide who should die and who shouldn't. They should have been reported and thrown into a cell." Buffy answered softly, even though part of her agreed with him.
"Yeah." He let out a breath and thought about it some more. "Demons I get you know? Humans? They're just plain crazy." She laughed at that she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck.
"I know. Just do the job, and then she can finally be at peace. She deserves it." She told him, and kissed him lightly.
"You're right, I know you're right." He smiled and tweaked her nose. "I hate it when you're right." He said affectionately and she giggled.
"Really? I kind of like it."
"Yeah, I bet." He kissed her again and went silent again. He had no desire whatsoever to tear himself away from her and wanted to stay right there, exactly as he was. "I've got another problem too." He didn't look at her this time and kept his voice light; afraid she'd take off when he said what he needed to.
"What?" She asked and he chewed on his cheek for a moment before answering.
"There's this girl I really like, she's awesome, beautiful, fun, and can totally kick ass." He winked at her and she smiled. "Problem is, every time I see her there's something going down in her life that we end up fighting over. A couple times it's involved her ex, a complete jackass. And even though I originally tell her I don't give a damn, I end up helping anyway. Glutton for punishment I suppose." He smiled mockingly at himself and she met his eyes warily. "So I help her, we kick ass, then we talk and we're okay again. Only we're not."
He turned to face her on the porch and gently touched her neck, placing his hand on her shoulder and meeting her gaze. "We're not okay because I care about this girl a lot more than I have anyone else, and probably will ever care. But I don't know if she feels the same way, and that kills me to think it. Am I wrong?"
Buffy searched his eyes and her heart for the answer, biting down on her lip in hesitation. Dean was right, he'd been there for her through a lot in the past several months and while part of her still loved Angel, she felt something different around Dean—something stronger. She felt connected to him, she trusted him, but did she feel the same way he obviously felt about her. Her mind flashed back several months to the hotel room in L.A. after their fight, when she'd heard him whisper three words. Did he really mean them? Is that why he hadn't said them since? Did he think she hadn't heard? Did she want him to say those words again? Did she love him too?
Her silence reined the night air and he slowly nodded. "I didn't think so." He got to his feet and started for the car but she pulled him back. He looked like he was fighting tears and that tore her heart to pieces. "We'll be back in a couple months probably, maybe. I don't know yet. It'll give us both time to think and clear our heads."
"Dean..." She started, and he touched a hand to her lips, silencing her. He kissed her cheek and cuffed her chin lightly.
"It's alright. We'll see you in a couple months. Tell your mom thanks for having us over and for the shirts." He looked at her for another long agonizing moment then headed for the Impala, brushing away the tears that fell unbidden from his eyes once his back was to her. He climbed into the car and fired the engine and glanced back at Buffy who still stood on the porch watching them.
"Dean? Why's Buffy crying? Did you guys fight again?" Sam asked, looking from his brother to his friend in confusion.
"No, we didn't fight." Dean answered and heaved a sigh as he turned to back the Impala out of her driveway. He needed to find a bar and fast, he decided. He still hadn't told her the truth, and he still hadn't found out if she heard what he'd said in L.A. Something told him that she had though, something in her eyes said she'd heard but she just wasn't sure what she felt for him. They had cases to keep him busy and were supposed to meet up with dad in Tallahassee after Arizona. Hunting would keep his mind from straying toward the California coast and to a certain blonde Slayer. Well, he could hope anyway.
