AN; Hey guys sorry I haven't updated in a while, honestly I've been procrastinating and then when I heard My Chemical Romance have split up I've just been really mopey. anyway on with the story...

p.s please review to make my day - i'm not lying when I say it makes me happy when you review. I read all of them.


Claire's POV.

Claire was glad that Shane, Eve and Michael were all staying in her room. She knew she couldn't bear to be alone, the memories of Ian kept flashing in her mind when she was left alone. But she didn't want to touch anyone. She had snuggled with Shane on the couch but with great difficulty, the contact of skin on her skin sent shivers down her spine. It felt like Ian was there again, touching her and torturing her. She couldn't shake the image from her mind.

It was horrible to feel afraid, she'd never felt afraid before. Sure she had been in situations where death was close, but now, knowing she was so close to being raped and murdered, and left to die, it put everything into perspective. Who's to say it won't happen again, and what if this time she doesn't get saved? It scared her, death scared her, and living in Morganville will mean everyday she lives knowing it could be her last.

That last thought scared her the most.

Claire fell asleep and when Shane was going to hug her she shook her head and pleaded with her eyes. He understood and put his hands besides him. In no time, everyone was asleep.

Claire woke up and no one was there, she shot straight up and started to panic. What if Ian had gotten them, what if Brandon helped?

Claire started to freak out, she got up and pulled on some jeans and a hoodie and went downstairs with the baseball bat from her room.

As she started walking she heard voices. Shane's, Eve's and Michael's she recognised but it took her a while to place Amelie and Myrnin's voice.

Wait, she thought, why are they here? She heard two other voices as well as theirs, but she just couldn't place it.

Claire walked into the room, stopped dead in her tracks, and dropped the bat she was holding. She saw Ian and Brandon, it wasn't the site of Brandon that made her stop but Ian was there. She looked at Amelie who was holdings Ian's jacket like he was a kid that needed to be controlled.

Myrnin also saw her and his eyes lit up and he flashed her a smile with fangs. Her crazy vampire boss was always smiling with fangs, even though she told him many times not to. Usually it would make her laugh but today it didn't. Myrnin ignored the silence and all the tension in the air. He looked at Claire and said, "we found the guy that has prevented you from working," he grinned at her, "don't worry Amelie has thought of a punishment for him, you can come back to work now. The sooner the better!" He said in an overly cheerily voice.

"What the hell crazy McFang," Eve said using one of Shanes many nicknames for Myrnin. "She is so not going back to work just because you caught the sicko and his vampire helping hand."

"Why an earth not?" Myrnin protested. "Ian is going in the cage and sentenced to death and Amalie has thought of a suitable punishment for Brandon. Is that not enough?"

"She's not ready to go back to work you dofuss," Shane interjected.

"Why not, she is fine!"

"Fine my ass" Shane said. He walked over to Claire and mumbled 'sorry' before he wrapped his arms gently around her in an embrace.

Claire started to see the flashbacks, she felt the pain and screamed.

"GET OF! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME" she said with her eyes closed, she was shaking violently and tears rolled down her eyes.

Eve, Michael and Shane were all beside her and calming her down. She opened her eyes and sank to the floor pulling her knees against her chest.

Amelie was standing looking at Claire. Ian had turned his head to look away he wore an expression that looked like he was in pain. Brandon was also staring at her, his expression was unreadable. It was just blank. Myrnin stood and stared at Claire with confusion, like he didn't understand what had happened.

Michael turned to Amelie and said. "She won't be going back to work. She is not ready and you know it. You are her protector and the controller of vampires yet you didn't realise that she was getting hurt and one of your own was inflicting it! She is not going back until she wants to!"

Amelie who had been silent for a long time spoke. She looked directly at Claire and said. "You will not have to go work and you will have as much time as you need of with pay."

"But-" Myrnin tried to protest but Eve but in.

"No buts. You heard her loud and clear."

"Myrnin we shall go now. Come," she said opening a portal, taking Brandon, Ian and Myrnin with her.

They all left and were gone in a second. Claire was still on the floor shaking. She couldn't help but feel the pain she felt that night. It kept replaying itself in her head, it felt like it was killing her slowly.

"Hey, come on, let's eat. You must be hungry," Shane said looking at her, he offered her his hand to pull her up but she pushed herself up on her own.

"I'm just gonna have a shower. I need to have a shower, I feel horrible. I'll eat later."

"Okay," he said but she was already gone.

Claire turned on the shower and stripped form her clothes. She felt the warm water over her and tried to relax. It was hard she always felt like she couldn't let her guard down, that something might happen. Morganville was finally breaking her steely demeanor.

She stepped out, wrapped her self in a towel, and put her clothes in the hamper. She walked to her room and pulled on some clothes but before she put her shirt on the saw something. It was a craft knife she went to it and wondered how it got on the floor. She saw her pencil case spilled out on the floor, the contents scattered everywhere, it must of rolled out. She always kept it in her pencil case just in case Myrnin went crazy on her. Claire sat down on the floor and lent against the wall. She got the blade out of the plastic casing of the craft knife. It took some fiddling but she managed. Then Claire wondered if a different pain would wipe out the memory of Ian.

The cool blade touched her skin and then she added some pressure and slid it across her wrist. It was painful but when she did it, the heat inside her died out, the sadness left and she felt relived. The burning feeling of anger, hurt and fear were gone, all emotion left leaving her cold and empty but the emptiness felt good. She put the blade away and wiped the blood of then put her shirt on.

Claire didn't tell anybody what she did, she didn't think it was their business. If it made her feel better then there was nothing wrong with it, right?

Going down for breakfast Michael accidentally brushed past her, Claire flinched at the contact. Excusing herself she went upstairs, and added another line to her wrist. The pain of her memories of Ian went away again. Claire carried on doing this, without telling anyone. A few days turned into weeks, no one would know because she never let anyone close enough to see.

Everything would be okay now.


AN; So in this chapter there is a serious issue, self harming. I hope that none of you do self harm but if you do the first step towards stopping it is telling someone, a parent, teacher, friend, even me (if you want), anyone that you trust. Its not easy to just go cold turkey with cutting, I understand the addiction to it (trust me when I say I understand, I know how it feels) but i hope you find it in yourself to stop and realize that there are people out there that love you and need you in their lives. you are important, please never forget that. I hope you can love yourself enough to see that you are the world to someone.

If you need help check out #cutcakesnotwrists on twitter. it's a charity to help stop cutting and it was started by a youtuber (BriBryontour)

Childline also have people who are willing to talk to you and help.

Also check out the butterfly project, its a great project that will help.

never forget, you are perfect!