Chapter 9 An Unexpected Thought

The next history lesson Kagome had went smoothly for the class, Inuyasha once again was a 'hands on' teacher who didn't just set and discuss the lesson from the front; he went to all his students making sure that he was available for questions and to give any needed help. He was able to say things in a way they could remember; getting his students to think themselves in the place of historical characters or imagine themselves at the events.

When he was near to Kagome he used his nose to check her general state of health and was pleased that she was obviously less tired and dejected than the day before. She too tried hard not to try and monopolise his attention all the time only so that he would be near to her, but it was difficult. She just wanted to be surrounded by his aura; preferably within his arms, but she knew that to be impossible.

For now she was going to have to be content by seeing him occasionally in the class where even the slightest touch was out of the question. Kagome was not the only one who found their teacher highly desirable and Inuyasha had been well trained for teaching, learning all about male and female teenage hormones and how to deal with them at college. Plus his natural youkai talents made it easy for him to evade some of the more adventurous advances of his pupils.

The youkai in him was also satisfied with the subliminal responses of his perceived mate to be, on a far deeper level. It knew that she was far too young yet to make a successful union; not just physically but mentally as well, after all he was only just old enough to be considering mating. His senses though told him that she knew she was his; she was calm near him, responsive and her desire was far more muted and subtle than the random scents of lust he could pick up from around him.

He knew she desired him but she also offered love, affection and loyalty; things necessary to a successful Inu mating even if the youkai didn't call the qualities by their human names, he understood the importance of the concepts. The youkai also may not like any other of her male companions; but it too had been trained well now and saw also the necessity of her right to choose.

Besides it was better for her to see for herself that the others were far weaker than he; so she could come to know that he was the superior choice all round. A reluctant or forced mate was not good for stability or pups. Once the youkai had come to all these conclusions, it happily stayed on the back burner of Inuyasha's mind and caused no immediate problems for him. It would just watch and protect all those under its care.

While his brother and the Miko were in the school, Sesshoumaru visited with Mama taking Kyouko with him. He needed to explain why he wished to speak to Kagome and also that he wanted her mother to be there too; in order to make sure that he couldn't be accused of bullying or intimidating the girl. Although he didn't want it to be a discussion involving Mama either.

Mama completely understood; this was to be between Sesshoumaru and Kagome only and she knew that Kyouko was with him as reassurance for her, that the Daiyoukai did not intend to harm her daughter. While they waited for Kagome to return; Sesshoumaru invited Mama to dinner again with the family, it seemed only fair for them to see where Kyouko and Inuyasha lived.

They all heard Kagome's greeting telling her family she was home and Mama went to put on the kettle to make them all tea. Kagome felt the aura of the two youkai and knew that both were familiar; identifying them a scant second before she saw Kyouko and Sesshoumaru. They were both sitting at the table looking comfortable and relaxed dressed in smart but casual gear.

Kagome stared at the being she had only seen as himself when he was wearing silk kimonos and armour and carrying swords. Here almost lounging at her kitchen table, he looked so much younger and far less intimidating. But she didn't make the mistake of thinking he was no longer dangerous, the aura was still Lord Sesshoumaru.

The Miko greeted both of the visitors with a bow before she hugged her mother and glanced questioningly at her. Mama just shrugged and smiled before setting the tea down in front of all of them. As Mama and Kyouko carried the main conversation, Kagome never took her eyes from Sesshoumaru and he didn't look at her once. Eventually though, Mama and Kyouko went outside with Souta and Grandfather, who had been tidying the shrine records and keeping out of the way.

Kagome had worked out that this was to enable Sesshoumaru and her to talk together, but she was bemused as to what he wanted to say. Surely he was not angry about her suspicions of him? Finally Sesshoumaru's golden eyes turned to give her his complete attention. For a few minutes he just stared at her, but this did not intimidate Kagome; she stared back, used to his impassive glare.

This time though she was unafraid to look and what she saw was surprising. The Lord's eyes were cool not cold, calm but not unfeeling, it made her wonder for the first time what Inuyasha saw there when they used to fight. Had Sesshoumaru's eyes been icy and calculating or hot with anger and bitterness, whenever he had glared at his brother? Suddenly she was aware that he was smiling warmly at her, the smile actually reaching his eyes; there was no doubt he was an impressive male specimen, but she was on her guard instantly. He was up to something.

"It's been a long time Kagome, since you and I have seen each other; although longer for me than you of course."

"I remember."

"I know you have had some issues with me and Inuyasha; I just want to help clear them up and reassure you if I can about my little brother. You care for him still don't you? And even after seeing him you have your doubts about his well being?"

"Of course I still care about him and I know he is still under your guardianship; he looks very well." She admitted softly. He smiled at her once again, lent forward towards her and released his pheremones. Then he kissed her on the lips gently but with experience and enough pressure, inviting her to respond. Kagome did, she was taken by surprise at first but her Miko power surged behind a slap to his face and an indignant scream.

"How dare you; you are still a jerk no matter what anyone says. What are you hoping to do, mess about with Inuyasha's mind again? I know we have to wait; but I love him and I always have, now get out." Kagome was beyond angry and was glowing pink; Sesshoumaru was in serious danger of actual bodily harm from the purification that would have caused rather more damage, than the slightly burned cheek he had already suffered.

By now Mama and Kyouko had come back into the kitchen; the latter laughing at his brother- in- law, while Mama went over to see to the Lord's face.

"Let me see Sesshoumaru; oh Kagome, you really should be more careful dear, you could have hurt him." She got some witch hazel to take out the sting as two voices replied simultaneously;

"Nonsense, this is nothing."

"Good, I hope it's permanent; Mama what are you doing, get him out?"

"Hush Kagome it's alright."

"Alright...Do you know what he did?"

"Yes, Kagome; I do and I gave him permission to do so." Mama took the wind out of Kagome's sails with her reply. The girl sat looking lost, while she stared at the pink handprint on the youkai's face. Kyouko broke the silence by his gentle laugh and by his teasing of Sesshoumaru.

"I warned you what would happen, Sesshoumaru."

"It was necessary."

"Would someone care to explain to me what is going on here?" Kagome was very angry; she felt used and hated it, especially as her mother seemed party to her confusion. But when she noticed the quiet, she calmed down; to find them all waiting for her attention. Her cheeks grew red, but she held her head proudly.

"Perhaps you would explain why it was necessary Your Lordship." She said sarcastically.

"I wished to see if you deserved to know about my motives or any of our life. Had you responded even slightly to my overture I would have left and you would not have learned anymore." His voice was almost toneless but then he carried on with a hint of anger himself.

"Not long ago in time for you, you were confused; your actions caused Inuyasha for the first time in his life to offer his throat in defeat to me. He would have let me take his life gladly at that point, his heart was broken and still he was willing to offer you comfort when you demanded it of him without hesitation. I know that you were both fooled by the puppet, yet I had to make sure; it is not too late to change your mind."

"Does Inuyasha know..?"

"He does not know I am here; only you three and my mate of course, know what I have done. I keep nothing from Hanataba."

"You came just to test me?"

"No; I thought you deserved an explanation, we are the only two left unchanged by that time and I realise that my own anger at what had happened had made me less than fair by you. It has caused you to doubt my integrity and relationship with Inuyasha; it is time to correct my mistake in that."

Kagome nodded accepting his reasons even if she didn't like what she heard. Her guilt for Inuyasha's pain though subdued her temper and she heard the genuine displeasure still in his voice, about his brother's lack of self defence caused by her actions. She stood and went round to Sesshoumaru and placed her hand against his cheek, using her power to heal him this time.

Something about his demeanour clearly showed her that he had been shaken to the core by finding the vulnerable Inuyasha at the end of his tether. She suddenly understood that all Sesshoumaru's threats before, had just been that in truth; he had known that Inuyasha would always give him a good fight and that he was far from a pushover.

As she was pondering over these things and her other memories of the youkai, while she nursed her cup of tea; Sesshoumaru was doing the same thing. The girl was so very young and yet she stood up for her principles and her companions. She was recklessly brave with her own life when it came to her friends especially Inuyasha; undaunted even when rebuking Sesshoumaru for his treatment of his younger brother.

She was fiery and passionate, yet pure in all that she did which was why he could understand far more easily that she had been seduced by his puppet in the same way that Inuyasha had. She and the hanyou were very alike. The girl was kind too; not distinguishing between friend or foe if she could offer help to those in need, again like his brother who however reluctant he appeared to be would always help. Even when those helped were unsure or distrustful of him.

He remembered how the pair fought and argued one minute and comforted and innocently loved one another the next; throughout the whole long journey, while he watched from a distance. They'd had their ups and downs certainly; but Kagome had freed Inuyasha from more than Goshinboku, she had freed the boy from his lonely existence and had given him hope, treating him only as one of her friends and not as some outcast.

Sesshoumaru also noted that the girl had not changed; she was still audacious enough to strike him knowing that he could kill her and her mother for the impudence. So she was still impetuous, but then so was his brother; hopefully a few more years for both might see some sense develop, but he wouldn't count on it. It was time for them to talk.

"I understand your concerns Kagome. On that day when the Priestess gave Inuyasha her gift and I took him home with me, I was too angry with you to consider that you would worry about him. I realised you would miss him of course, but I was beginning to think that you were only using him. I know this was not so but you had departed long before I had come to that conclusion." Sesshoumaru watched her face closely as she went red and then paled at his words.

"I didn't hear much of what Midoriko said to either of you; I know she said that you would take care of him, but there is more to loving a child than just providing for him. I didn't know if you could do that. Or would the old hatred come back. I had nightmares of Inuyasha going through another sad, albeit luxurious childhood. I'm sorry if I have misjudged you, but he is so changed. He seems so much meeker, perhaps your rules have suppressed the natural exuberance he had, making him conform to your ideals of being a proper youkai. But he is a hanyou; did you try to crush his humanity? I don't mean to insult you; it is plain that Inuyasha is in excellent health but it feels to me that my Inuyasha is dead and gone. It was as if he died when Midoriko intervened."

Kagome had finally voiced the real issue; she hadn't said it even to herself before now and she started to cry, grieving for the first time over the rough boy she had left behind. The Inuyasha who fought with her and their companions was dead; never again would she see his grumpy face with the stormy eyes that never could hide his true feelings.

"He had to fight so hard for everything all of his life and all that he wanted was acceptance and love from his brother and others but he never got it. For all his hard work and tragic life he never saw any rewards. All my Inuyasha did was suffer, kicked down every time he tried to get up; it's so unfair."

Sesshoumaru found he could say nothing to this diatribe, he could tell that Kagome was talking from her heart and had not intended to insult him personally. These were her general thoughts from when she had seen the small infant hanyou so trusting and held in his brother's arms. Mama had come and put her arms around Kagome and Kyouko realising that Sesshoumaru didn't know what to say started to speak once Kagome was calmer.

"Kagome...my dear child; you will come to understand that Inuyasha was not just cared for in my brother-in-law's home, but that he was and is a dearly loved son to Sesshoumaru and Hanataba. Of course there was a lot to learn when dealing with him, but the boy was not crushed into any regime; this I promise you and he was never hated by his brother, far from it."

Kagome had calmed down greatly, having faced the one she blamed for the changes in her hanyou and now being ready to assimilate the new facts she had from Sesshoumaru and Kyouko. She now felt that perhaps she had misjudged Sesshoumaru and went over to the still silent youkai and bent to kiss his brow.

"Thank you for looking after Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru; he deserved all you could give him." She felt tired and asked to be excused to lie down for an hour or so. Mama nodded watching her go before her attention was taken by the still form of Sesshoumaru as he stared unseeing, out of the window. Mama started to make the evening meal, Kyouko helping her while Sesshoumaru was still was lost in his thoughts. Then suddenly his mild voice was heard;

"Will Kagome be alright? I had not thought she might consider the transition as though Inuyasha had died."

"She will be fine Sesshoumaru; she knows that you looked after him as a son and did a fine job, Inuyasha is a fine young man." Mama smiled and was encouraging, but was not quite prepared for the youkai's next words.

"But she is correct is she not? The Inuyasha that was, did die; Midoriko granted the boy's request to end his life by making him young again. I had not considered that before; my brother is dead and gone. I shall never have him back again.What great irony; when I had tried to kill him countless times before, that he should die just when I had accepted him."

"Sesshoumaru, your brother is hale and hearty at home." Kyouko said, but Mama was thoughtful. The Youkai Lord was very serious as he replied shaking his head.

"My son is at home Kyouko; my well behaved, well adjusted and very well loved son is at home. Not my neglected and often abused little brother. The fighter who loved me despite all, who just wanted recognition and a kind word; he never truly received it and died not knowing that he could have his dream realised. My brother is dead; I have a son in his place, one I love dearly, but my little brother is gone never to return."

Kyouko didn't know what to say; he could hear the quiet despair in Sesshoumaru's voice as the youkai came to the realisation that his young, foul mouthed and contentious baby brother was no more. Suddenly Mama went to Kyouko and wrapped her arms round his neck pressing close to his body and then let him go.

Then she went to Sesshoumaru standing in front of him and gently pulled his head to her stomach as he wept. She had seen the gleam of tears and understood that he needed comfort. By mixing her own scent with the familiar one of Kyouko, she hoped that Sesshoumaru would accept her more readily. Mama let him cry for several minutes knowing he needed to do so, before she started to hush him, her arms firmly round his shoulders and holding his head.

TBC