Hallo there. I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to finally update this story. And now that I (finally) have finished 'Freeing Angelus' – I have more time on my hands to this story and my other story 'Desiring Drusilla'. I hope that I can update in least once pr. month on each story, but I cannot promise anything. I will try. But there it is… The new chapter of Freja´s journey to find herself. I hope you like it, and please do review, because that helps me to keep writing on the story. PS. This chapter gets a little dark. If you do not think that you can handle it, do not read it.
"Which consequences?" Kyoya asks. He has not foreseen any consequences.
"The fact that you, while trying so hard to win, just made you lost a friend." Freja says, and with that Kyoya knows that he has lost. Yes, he may have won the activity day, but he has lost something very more importing. He has lost her. One of his best friends, the girl that he is in love with, the girl that he also thought one day would be his wife and the mother of his children – their children…
"What? No, Freja, you cannot do that." Kyoya almost screams.
"Yes, I can. And I just did it. If I wanted to be bossed around, I would still be living with my father, who hates me, but I am not. I am a person, Kyoya, and I want to be treated as such. So have a great life, Kyoya… Goodbye... Takashi, will you please follow me home?" Freja says. Takashi nods, and together they leave. As they leave, Kyoya´s heart breaks into a million pierce. Now he is truly alone in this world. Now there is nobody, who understands him. The only person, who has ever understood him, just walked out the door with someone else. Now he just had to get her back… The question is just how.
Takashi takes Freja home. He is a bit shocked over, what Freja just said to Kyoya. But on some levels he truly understands it, but he feels divided in two, and he wonders, which side that he should be on. One side of him is with Kyoya, one of his friends, and the other side is with Freja, the girl that he is going to marry, and who he is in love with. Kyoya has not been himself lately. He has been acting strangely… Why Takashi does not know, but he thinks it has something to do with Freja. Kyoya is in love with Freja, that most Takashi knows. He is not happy about this, but there is nothing that he can do about it, and on less that Kyoya decides to do something about it or act on it. But Freja too has not been herself… like she always was expecting something really bad. Takashi has a bad feeling about it. Maybe Freja has to…
"Freja, are you okay?" Takashi says worried. She does not know just how much he worries about her. And he has planned that it stays that way.
"I am fine. Just tired, really." She says and looks out of the window. Her phone rings, and when she looks at the caller ID, she looks like she just has awoken from a bad nightmare. She is shaking, when she takes the phone. The conservation is in a language that Takashi does not understand – most likely Danish. He wonders who she is talking to – maybe one of her brothers… or her father… But he does not like the tone that the male is talking to her in.
"Freja Kali Rosenkrantz, jeg er skuffet over dig. Du er en skændsel for familien, en vanære for vores ædle familie. Hvorfor du overlevede, når din mor og tvillingebror døde? Det forstår jeg ikke. Du burde være død, og de burde være i live. Og nu hvor jeg har arbejdet så hårdt for at få dig gift bort til denne rige mand, og alt, jeg hører, at du er en skuffelse for denne familie… Jeg kommer til Japan for at sikre mig, at denne alliance går efter planen…/I am disappointed in you. You have made a disgrace out of this family, a dishonor for our noble family. Why did you survive, when your mother and twin brother did not make it? I do not understand. You should have died, and they should have lived. And now I have worked so hard to marry you of till this rich man, and all I hear is that you are being a disappointing to this family… I am going to Japan to make sure that this alliance goes after the plan…" Her father says, and Freja does nothing to stand up for herself. Her father finally hangs up on her. Freja says to Takashi: "I am sorry – my father has something that he needed to tell me." Takashi looks at her not so easily fouled by her cover, and he says: "I hope that everything is okay?" She fakes a smile – a good one, but not good enough to foul Takashi, who says: "Everything is aokay. Father has decided to come to a visit." To look after her, she adds in her mind, but Takashi does not need to know that.
"Okay, but are we still on for tomorrow?" He asks, and she nods. After that Freja gets out of the car, she sighs and thinks that this night cannot be any worse, but then she gets the message…
From Dominic Toretto
To Leticia Ortiz
Hey Letty.
My love, it has been awhile. I have some news for you. The white car is being divided in three. The mechanics fear that it will fail. I think the odds are 85/15. I need you. Mia is sleeping with Brian. He is not good to her. I will see you soon, my love.
Love Dominic.
Translation:
From Julio Fray (One of Freja´s friends, who works at the court.)
To Freja Rosenkrantz.
I miss you, and I have news for you. The queen is pregnant – 3 children. The doctors believe that the pregnancy is doomed. Both she and the children will with 85 % chance die. The country needs you. Andreas (Andreas is the first in line for the Danish throne) is ill again. Cause unknown. You need to come home ASP.
Love Julio.
And to think that this day could not get even worse. Freja sighs, and now she thinks that no one gets it. She is alone. Alone in this – this throne shit. Sure Takashi is there, but he is not like her. He does not know, what the throne means to the Danish people and to her. That throne is her dream… And she knows, which responsibilities that she will get, if she one day will be the queen of Denmark. Takashi will not understand… How could he? He does not know what it is like… Being so close to one´s dreams, and yet so far away. She is… nothing without the throne, and he is everything even without that. She watches as the car drive away, and when it is out of her sight – She begins to cry. She has never felt so alone and full of so much pain. Pain inside… She knows, what is going to happen, because this has happened so many times before. She is going to go inside and pretend that Father going here is okay, and that everything will be okay – the queen, Andreas... Then she will excuse herself and go to the bathroom to take a shower. Well that is what everyone is going to believe that she does, and in some ways she is going to, but she is also going to cut. So she can watch, as the blood runs from her and into the sink. There will be pain involved, but the problem is that she needs the pain to feel something – to feel alive. She knows that it is not heathy, but at this moment she does not care. She does not care about anything else than the pain and pleasure that she will get from the cutting. Freja is well aware that cutting is a serious illness, and that one out of four cutters ends up killing themselves, but again that is a problem for tomorrow. A problem that she knows that she will never survive. Cutting will soon or later end up killing her… She knows this, but she also knows that she will not be able to stop. There is no stopping on till she has dealt with her problem or that she is dead. And it will be the later… she knows that and somewhere inside of her she has accepted this fact. Like the fact that she will most likely never sit on the Danish throne…
Next morning she wakes up and remembers nothing from last night. What Freja does remember, is all fuzzy. There is blood pretty most everywhere, which from the cuts that she cut into herself last night. She figures that she must have cut herself due to all the blood – not that she remembers. The blood is hers, she knows that. But she has up get up, so she can get to hosting and then her date with Takashi. Hosting, hosting, hosting… Freja gets telling herself, but first she needs to clean up the blood. After she has cleaned up the blood and got dressed, she is ready to go. She has covered up all her cuts, which most of them will be scars one day. But she has a lot of scars – some you can see, others the eye cannot see. And one there is only one thing to do: Work at the host club – Pretend to be her happy self. She looks in the mirror and fakes a big smile. Yeah, nobody will be able to see that it is totally fake. She heads to the host club and goes into Music Room 3. She sees Hikaru with a beautiful dress in his hands. It is dark blue with silver embroidery. It is just beautiful.
"Please say that that dress is for me. Please!" Freja says happily. Hikaru is laughing and says: "Yeah, it is for you. Go change. Good girl."
"Why I am a good girl?" Hikaru eyes Kaoru, and they shake their hands.
"We thought that we needed for force you into the drees. And there out of the blue you are literally bagging for a chance to wear it. I will never understand you." says Kaoru.
"Well that is good; because that means that I will always surprise you. After hosting I have something that I need to tell all of you."
"You are not leaving, are you?" Hikaru says joking. Freja looks at away.
"No, you are not. Are you?" Kaoru says. Freja looks at them and says: "For a while, yeah. There is something that I need to handle back in Denmark. Afterwards I will be heading back home."
"Back home? So you are going to stay in Denmark?" Hikaru says.
"What? No, home is here with you guys. You are not getting rid of me that easy." That made both of them smile.
"Can you keep this to yourselves till after hosting?" Freja asks, and both of the twins nod smiling happily.
After hosting Freja gathers the members of the host club to talk to them about her leaving for a while. She fears that they will not understand… That is right now her worse fear.
"There are a lot of things that I would like to say to all of you. First thing first I want to thank all of you for being so friendly to you, when I first met you. None of you knew me, and yet you took me in as a part of your family, and for that I will be forever grateful. You saved my life and me as a person. I will never be able for fully thank you enough for, what you did for me. You saved me each and every day without you knowing. So thank you. Then I will like to say I am so sorry to you, Kyoya. What I said, was wrong and disrespectful to you, my friend. I hope that you can one day forgive me. I said a lot of things, and I regret each and every one of them. I hope that you can one day forgive me through there is no excuse for, what I did. I feared something, and that is yet to happen. Takashi, I also have somethings to tell you. Why you picked me to be your wife, I do not understand, and I most likely never will. All that I know is that I am not good enough for you, and I am going to find a way, so that I one day maybe will deserve you, because in this moment I do not deserve you. I do not, if I never will. Than is the next thing: The queen of Denmark is pregnant, and the doctors fears that nor she or the children will make it + Andreas Olsen, who is the first in line to the throne, is ill. How bad I do not know, but I fear the worse. Therefor I have decided due to this knowledge and the fact that my Father is coming to Japan that I am leaving Japan to handle this, and meanwhile I will also be handling some personal problems. This is not up for discussion, and I do hope that you still will be speaking with me, when I get home." Freja says.
