I took off early from work and met Johanna at the Justice Building at four o'clock. It was right before they closed which I figured would keep it from becoming a big deal. The last thing I wanted was a big deal. It wasn't like the magnitude of the thing was lost on me. I took marriage seriously but getting married even for those of us in outlying districts had taken on a Capital flavor. Now every girl wanted a fancy dress and a big party. Of course what constituted a fancy dress and big party was a far cry from what I had seen in the Capital. A fancy dress was something made from fabric that was at least a month's wages and a big party meant a bakery cake and a bottle of wine if you could get it, which you usually couldn't. Even so, I didn't see how any of those things ensured love and happiness. It was a lot of nonsense and money for nothing if you asked me. I guess I was lucky that Johanna didn't seem to really care either. Of course we were both still shocked to find ourselves getting married at all. I wavered between convincing myself it was the best thing that could have happened to me and knowing it was the biggest mistake I'd ever make. I did however get a haircut that morning and I wore a freshly pressed uniform. I actually got up two hours early and ironed it myself. Johanna seemed to like it. At least her self-satisfied smile indicated so. She cleaned up pretty well herself. She wore a simple dress, white with tiny blue flowers and an Empire waist, or at least that's how they described it. She looked pretty, that I know. And she smelled good. I'm sure we looked pretty awkward. She had dragged Burl from the Wanigan to be her witness. I used the presiding judge's secretary, Miss Beech. We said our 'I do's', signed the papers, and shook the judge's hand. That was it. There was a bit of a weight on my heart, not having any family or friend to stand with me but Johanna was happy and I was determined to be so too. I thought we would go to the Wanigan and have a drink to celebrate but when we left the Justice Building, the entrance was crawling with photographers.
"How did they find out so fast?" I asked Johanna in disbelief.
"They have spies everywhere. You didn't really think things have changed that much did you?" she asked. We nixed the Wanigan idea and went straight to Johanna's house. The commotion made Johanna nervous. She ended up throwing up most of the night. I made her some tea and then we went to sleep. I didn't think about toasting bread until the next morning. It didn't matter. It was just a silly tradition and it wouldn't have meant anything to Johanna any way. It was strange, waking up next to someone after eight years. It took me back to that sad little house on the edge of the seam. The window that could never completely close, the roof that leaked, Vick's cold feet pressed against my back. Only now it was Jo's feet and it was our house. Our house. I had never owned anything except the clothes on my back. None of it really felt like it was mine. I hadn't earned it. Johanna had. As long as she was alive, it was hers. The laws had changed though. When she was gone, it would belong to our child. Or children. I smiled at the thought. Why not? I'd have a dozen if I could feed them. Twelve bundles of hope and dreams. Well two at least. One of each. Of course it was up to Jo. She still looked a bit pale, lying there so still, asleep and curled up so tight. I slipped out of bed and let her sleep.
When I left for work, a hornet's nest awaited me. Or should I say jacker's nest since the press seemed just as tenacious in following me. They were outside the front door. They trailed after me through town and all the way to the garrison, shouting questions at me the entire way. Once there, the cameras were now replaced with a TV crew. Reporters continued to shout questions at me as I waded through the mob towards the door. I only answered one because it was so personal and stupid, I couldn't bite my tongue.
"How was the wedding night?" he asked.
"Are you married?" I asked.
"Yes," he said with a dirty little laugh.
"And you still need me to explain it?" I asked. Everybody laughed. I took the opportunity to escape inside. It wasn't much better. The entire force seemed to be there. They all cheered and clapped. My second in command, Clem, slapped me on the back.
"We all chipped in and got you this," he said, and handed me a bottle of aspirin. "We figured considering the bride, you would need it!" Everybody laughed.
"Funny! Okay, get back to work. Crime doesn't stop just because I got married," I said. They dispersed. They knew me well enough by now to know I didn't like this kind of attention. Clem remained behind.
"Oh you have a lot of messages. About twenty from the capital. But most are from your mother. She sounded kind of mad," he said.
"Thanks. Do me a favor. Tell those idiots out front to move on will you?" I asked.
"Really?"
"Escort them to the train station if you have to, just get them out of here."
My mother. I wasn't looking forward to that conversation. I put it off. I had to deal with the Capital any way. They were less than thrilled with the marriage and particularly upset they hadn't been informed a head of time. I hadn't realized how important the Capital still considered the remaining victors to be. Of course they no longer exerted the same kind of control but the tone of District Seven senator Clive Miller indicated that the Capital still felt they owned them in some way. A chill ran through me when he said, "Of course we all want what's best for Johanna."
"And that would be what?" I asked.
"Why a happy home and a healthy child, of course," he said. I don't know how he knew about the baby. I certainly hadn't told anybody. I didn't think Johanna had told anybody other than me but I couldn't be sure. I thought of asking him just how and the hell he knew but it was probably not a good idea. Besides, Clive Miller wasn't the kind of guy that let you interrupt him. "Panem honors Johanna's past sacrifice and honors your continued service. You were quite a hero during the war, weren't you?"
"I don't know about that. We all did what we had to."
I never liked to talk about the war. I liked talking about my part even less. Even if it weren't for what happened in the Capital, I wouldn't want to talk about it. It was something that had to happen, a fight that had to be fought. The hero thing is just a bunch of horseshit. It was all the people who fought before they had any help from District Thirteen that were the heroes. Those that rebelled in Eleven, in Four, long before the Quarter Quell. Those nameless dead, forgotten for the most part, they were heroes. If I were really a hero, I would have done something long before Prim's name was ever drawn.
"But you were right there up to the end, cleaning up District Two. And the final siege at the Capital. You survived the destruction! I've read the reports. Such a terrible thing, another dark mark in history. What people will do to achieve their own means. A weighty legacy to bear."
I wasn't sure what the good senator was playing at but I was very sure I didn't like it. There was nothing he could have on me that wouldn't bring down more important people as well. Plutarch Heavensbee still controlled the majority of the media in Panem. A few districts had something called broadcast radio. It was an old technology but was growing in popularity. But if I knew Heavensbee, he had his sweaty paws on that too. Beetee was head of the Department of Technology, of which no small part was weaponry. They couldn't afford to lose him nor could he afford to be tied to the massacre at the Capital. After the Rebellion most of District Two wanted my head. There were still plenty of well-trained fighters in Two at the time and Paylor would have loved nothing more than to placate them and woo them over to her side. I have no doubt that the only reason they hadn't served me up on a silver platter was because of what I knew. I also knew staying alive depended on me knowing my place and keeping my mouth shut. I wasn't like I needed to be reminded. Besides, I wasn't the one that gave orders back then. I wasn't even that good at following them. Those decisions were made by others. I had told the truth when I was questioned at the time. I didn't know if it was our side or not, but more than likely it was. They weren't really all that interested in the truth any way. All they cared about was divvying up power and tying up loose ends. But this was their game and they could be almost as paranoid as Snow. A nice job in Two was to ensure my silence. Then it dawned on me. I no longer had the nice job and I had just married one of the few remaining Victors. Of course I had some master plan! Every smart ambitious man did. Clive Miller was calling to scope out the situation and determine just what kind of problem I was going to be. Only I never thought that way and I had never been that ambitious. It was funny, funny and frightening at the same time.
"Yes, well both Johanna and I grateful for your concern," I said. "We felt given the recent security concerns in District Ten and the on-going rationing even in the capital, that to make it an event would be both insensitive and expensive." I could barely keep the glee from seeping into my voice. I knew politics well enough.
"Yes, very considerate of you both," Senator Miller replied now openly sarcastic. It wasn't like he could fire me. It would be all over Panem in hours. Frankly I didn't care if he could. "And of course traveling while with child isn't advisable. We will all miss Johanna at this year's Remembrance Day in the Capital."
Again, fine by me. As far as I was concerned, Jo was never stepping foot in the Capital again. She got into nothing but trouble there. Still I wasn't going to commit to anything nor was I going to acknowledge she was pregnant. "Well Senator, this is a big District as you know and I've got a lot of work to get done, so if there isn't anything else."
"Just congratulations."
"Thanks."
I hung up the phone and stared of the map of the District that hung on the wall. I shook my head and sighed. I was going to have to have a little talk with Jo when I got home. The call so irked me, I completely forgot about my mom. I forgot the next day too. I wasn't used to living with someone anymore. Jo wasn't either. We were getting on each other's nerves. One minute she was screaming at me, the next she was crying. Then she would get so affectionate, I would literally have to peel her off me. It didn't help that she was so sick. If she wasn't vomiting, she was shaking. She was constantly complaining that it was too cold but the house was like an oven. Granted it was a long time ago but I don't remember my mother being like this. It had to be the morphling withdrawal. I had searched the entire house when she was asleep and got rid of all I had found. But Jo was clever and this was her house. There were most likely hiding places I knew nothing about. I wanted to get someone to stay with her while I was at work but she had a fit when I suggested it. "I won't be spied on," she had screamed at me. She wasn't far off. I did have a peacekeeper down at the Wanigan all day, just in case she decided to go down there. So far she hadn't. At least the cameras had finally left.
It was a week later that Jo called me at work.
"You have to come home now!"
"I can't. I have work."
"Now."
"Can't it wait four hours?" I asked.
"No!"
"Why don't you call Burl?"
"Because Burl's mother isn't in my kitchen. NOW!"
She hung up. I stared at the phone. It took a moment to make sense. Oh crap. I put my head in my hands and grimaced. I hadn't called her. I had meant to of course but I was already overwhelmed. One was bad enough. Two of them, I started to wish I had some morphling. Women, why does it always come down to them?
