Thank you to my Beta reader EvelynRo, for making it more readable
Disclaimer:I do not own Pride and Prejudice
A/N: Just in case you have forgotten.
The narrator will be using their actual names; however, the other characters, especially those unaware of the switch will be using theirassumednames. Thoughts areitalicised.
Chapter 9
"Lizzy and Jane are quite settled in Netherfield Park," thought Mrs Bennet, happily. In her mind's eye, both girls were married to the gentlemen and Jane was the certain to be the Mistress of Netherfield.
Lydia and Kitty had gone often to visit the militia earlier, and Mrs Bennet thought the house was too quiet after they left. She decided that her youngest must live near her after she marries, because the house would be too dull regardless of the fact that Lydia did not even have a suitor yet.
And of course, Jane would be next door, and Lizzy would surely visit her sister often as would Mr Darcy visit Mr Bingley. She now turned her focus to Mary.
The middle child suddenly was the bane of her existence. The girl stayed at home reading dull books of sermons and, on being prompted, played the pianoforte in a most sombre manner. Mrs Bennet was not musically inclined; to her the fact that Mary could play music was enough to please her. It never occurred to her that her daughter was not proficient and, lacking exposure, believed herself to be more talented than she was.
So when she played a symphony quite ill, her mother applauded, for she herself had no idea how it was supposed to be played. But for all her pianoforte playing skills, Mary could no longer please her mama. Mrs Bennet only wanted to gossip and talk of fashion, topics that Mary abhorred.
"Perhaps you should try this ribbon," Mrs Bennet suggested to her middle daughter. "This will look very nice if you put flowers in your hair."
"But why should one want to put flowers in one's hair," Mary argued. "Women are neither vines nor plants."
"Must you test my nerves so," Mrs Bennet wailed.
"And besides, this ribbon belongs to Lizzy," added Mary.
"I'm sure Lizzy can buy many more ribbons with her pin money," said Mrs Bennet, "once she marries Mr Darcy."
To this, Mary objected again that her mother must not speculate so for this was gossiping and Reverend Fordyce's sermons specifically refrains a lady from gossiping.
Chastened thus by Reverend Fordyce and her daughter, Mrs Bennet was in a sour mood all day. Her temper improving only after Lydia home arrived with Kitty. The three gossiped a great deal: Colonel Forster was getting married and the militia was going to give a ball but only after the Bennets had given one.
Mother and daughters schemed to convince their father to acquiesce to their role in that last bit of gossip until an idea struck Lydia.
"It will be in vain to convince Papa," said she, "but another agreeable gentleman can be persuaded and quite easily."
"Sir William has already hosted the soldiers," countered Kitty. "He will not host them twice."
"I know that, silly, I wasn't talking about him," Lydia rolled her eyes. "I am talking about the newest addition to our society."
"Mr Bingley, Mr Bingley of course!" Mrs Bennet exclaimed comprehending where her daughter's thoughts were leading.
"We can go and visit Jane," suggested Kitty, "then Lydia can ask for a ball."
"Why Kitty, that is an excellent idea!" commended Mrs Bennet. "I will ask Mr Bennet for the carriage."
It was then a note arrived from Netherfield for Mrs Bennet, in which Lizzy serendipitously requested her mother to come and see Jane.
~~~The Switch~~~
Mrs Bennet was quite satisfied to be at Netherfield. After seeing Jane, she ascertained that her eldest daughter was in no apparent danger, however, she wouldn't hear of removing her to Longbourn. Privately she congratulated herself on the success of her grand scheme.
Another schemer was laying out her plans. Miss Bingley had seen Mr Darcy often stare at Miss Elizabeth and she suspected he shared his cousin's tender feelings towards her. Her plan was to help Miss Eliza secure the man who she thought was Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"She will only thank me for it," Miss Bingley justified her intentions to her sister, "The Bennets will indeed be grateful if their daughter is married to a colonel in his majesty's army."
"Indeed it is so," said Mrs Hurst, "But if she marries the Colonel she would be a cousin by marriage to Mr Darcy."
"That would be an abhorrent situation, ordinarily," conceded Miss Bingley, "but it will stop Mr Darcy from forming an attachment towards her."
"But once you are married to Mr Darcy," said Mrs Hurst, "you will have to see her often."
"Given how very fond Mr Darcy is of his cousin," said Miss Bingley, "We can't drop acquaintance immediately but with time I will limit Mr Darcy's association with his cousin's family. Till then I'll have to merely tolerate Eliza Bennet, not a very heavy price to pay as Mr Darcy's wife."
Mrs Hurst shook her head; she knew her sister could give up an arm and a leg to marry Mr Darcy.
~~~The Switch~~~
Mrs Bennet, Lydia, and Kitty were sitting with Jane when Miss Bingley brought in the apothecary.
"Mr Jones, I'm glad you are here," began Mrs Bennet loudly. "Jane wishes to go back to Longbourn, and I simply cannot imagine it!"
Mr Jones ignored Mrs Bennet's outburst and set to his work. He checked Jane's temperature and pulse then shook his head.
"You must not even think of moving her, Mrs Bennet," he advised. "She is too ill to be moved."
Mrs Bennet was triumphant and glee was plainly visible on her face to anyone who looked. Miss Bingley could not help feeling appalled at the display of such vulgarity. Remembering her duties as hostess, she coldly invited Mrs Bennet and her daughters to the breakfast parlour.
Darcy and Bingley met them there. Mrs Bennet was slightly disappointed by not seeing Colonel Fitzwilliam but quickly forgot the fact in the face of Bingley's polite inquiry
"I hope you did not find Miss Bennet in a condition worse than you expected?"
"Indeed I have, sir," was her answer. "She is a great deal too ill to be moved. Mr. Jones says we must not think of moving her. We must trespass a little longer on your kindness."
Miss Bingley mentally scoffed at Mrs Bennet's feigned grief, for she knew the truth – she had seen her triumphant look when Mr Jones declared her too ill to be moved.
"My sister, I'm sure, will not hear of her removal."
"You may depend upon it, Madam,' said Miss Bingley, with cold civility, 'that Miss Bennet will receive every possible attention while she remains with us."
'Although I'd like her meddling sister gone,' she thought violently.
Mrs Bennet was profuse in her acknowledgments then enquired about the absence of (faux) Mr Darcy.
"He has gone riding and hunting with my husband," Luisa Hurst replied.
"Yes, the grounds of Netherfield are indeed fine for hunting," proclaimed Mrs Bennet. "I'd say I do not know a place in the country that is equal to Netherfield. You will not think of quitting it in a hurry, I hope, though you have but a short lease."
"Whatever I do is done in a hurry," he replied, "and therefore if I should resolve to quit Netherfield, I should probably be off in five minutes. At present, however, I have no such designs."
"That is exactly what I should have supposed of you," said Elizabeth.
"You begin to comprehend me, do you?" he cried, turning towards her with a look of mock horror. "I wish I might take this as a compliment; but to be so easily seen through I am afraid is pitiful."
"Lizzy!" cried her mother, not happy with the turn the conversation was taking. "Remember where you are, and do not run on in the wild manner that you are suffered to do at home."
"I did not know you studied characters," continued Bingley immediately. "It must be an amusing study."
"Yes, but intricate characters are the most amusing. They have at least that advantage."
"The country," said Darcy, "can in general supply but a few subjects for such a study. In a country neighbourhood, you move in a very confined and unvarying society."
"But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them forever."
"Yes, indeed," said Mrs. Bennet in a loud, indignant tone, "I assure you there is quite as much of that going on in the country as in town."
Everybody was surprised, and Darcy, after looking at her for a moment as if to put his point across, turned silently away thinking the exercise worthless. Mrs. Bennet, imagining herself to be the victor, continued her triumph.
"I cannot see that London has any great advantage over the country, for my part, except the shops and public places. The country is a vast deal pleasanter, is it not, Mr. Bingley?"
"I can be equally happy in either," he replied.
"Aye—that is because you have the right disposition. But the Colonel," she said, looking askant at Darcy, "seemed to think the country was nothing at all."
"Indeed, Mamma, you are mistaken," said Elizabeth, blushing for her mother. "You quite mistook Colonel Fitzwilliam. He only meant that there was not such a variety of people to be met with in the country as in the town, which you must acknowledge to be true."
"Certainly, my dear, nobody said there was; but as to not meeting with many people in this neighbourhood, I believe there are few neighbourhoods larger. I know we dine with four-and-twenty families."
Nothing but concern for Elizabeth could enable Bingley to keep his countenance. His sister was less delicate and directed her eyes towards Mr Darcy with a very expressive smile. Elizabeth, for the sake of saying something that might turn her mother's thoughts, now asked her if Charlotte Lucas had been at Longbourn since her coming away.
"Yes, she called yesterday with her father. What an agreeable man Sir William is, Mr. Bingley, is not he?"
Then she continued to exalt Sir William in order to snub Mr Darcy. Lizzy tried her best to divert the conversation to Charlotte and got some success when her mother spoke of how the Lucas girls work in the kitchen.
"I always keep servants that can do their own work; MY daughters are brought up very differently. But everybody is to judge for themselves, and the Miss Lucases are a very good sort of girls, I assure you. It is a pity they are not handsome! Not that I think Charlotte so very plain—but then she is our particular friend."
"She seems a very pleasant young woman."
"Oh Dear, yes; but you must own she is very plain. Lady Lucas herself has often said so and envied me Jane's beauty."
Then to Lizzy's great embarrassment Mrs Bennet told everyone about how a man had written poems for Jane when she was fifteen.
"He wrote some verses for her, and very pretty they were."
"And so ended his affection," said Elizabeth impatiently. "'There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!"
"I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love," said Darcy.
"Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away."
Darcy only smiled; but the general pause which ensued made Elizabeth tremble lest her mother should be exposing herself again. In the short silence that followed, Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst exchanged meaningful glances but nobody noticed them.
Mrs Bennet began repeating her thanks to Mr. Bingley for his kindness to Jane, with an apology for troubling him also with Lizzy. Mr Bingley was unaffectedly civil in his answer, and forced his younger sister to be civil also, and say what the occasion required.
"Yes it is no trouble to us," she said without much graciousness, but Mrs. Bennet was satisfied, and soon afterwards ordered her carriage.
Upon this signal, Lydia came forward.
"You promised to host a ball at Netherfield," she spoke to Mr Bingley abruptly.
"I am perfectly ready, I assure you, to keep my engagement; and when your sister is recovered, you shall, if you please, name the very day of the ball. But you would not wish to be dancing when she is ill."
"Oh! Yes—it would be much better to wait till Jane was well, and by that time most likely Captain Carter would be at Meryton again. And when you have given your ball I shall insist on their giving one also. I shall tell Colonel Forster it will be quite a shame if he does not."
With that, Mrs Bennet and the two youngest Bennet sisters left. The moment they were gone, Lizzy went to Jane's room and Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley left to meet up with Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"Well, you plan was a success," said Mrs Hurst, "The Colonel did seem to take an interest in Miss Eliza when his cousin was away."
"But now I wish I hadn't sent Mr Darcy with Mr Hurst for riding and hunting," admitted Miss Bingley. "Mrs Bennet exposed herself marvellously and Mr Darcy wasn't here to see it."
"We can only hope that his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, will faithfully narrate the events of the morning," said Mrs Hurst.
~~~The Switch~~~
The day passed much as the day before had done. Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley had spent some time with Jane, in the morning, who continued to recover albeit slowly; and in the evening Elizabeth joined their party in the drawing room.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was writing as was Mr Darcy, and Miss Bingley tried to gain the attention of the former by asking him to relay messages to Miss Darcy. Mr Hurst had trapped his brother by marriage, Bingley, into a card game, and Mrs Hurst was observing them.
Elizabeth took up her needlework and was sufficiently amused in attending to what passed between the Colonel and his fair companion.
"How delighted Miss Darcy will be to receive your letter!"
"Indeed I'm sure. . ." There the Colonel cleared his throat, "my sister will be very pleased, moreover our cousin is writing a letter to her too."
"You write uncommonly fast," added Miss Bingley.
"I don't think so, madam, but yes perhaps I don't write slowly."
"Your cousin, on the other hand," said Miss Bingley looking at Darcy, "writes rather slowly but his penmanship is remarkable."
"Yes, my cousin has a gift of writing evenly with a clear hand."
"Let me mend your pen," Miss Bingley applied and when the Colonel gave her his pen she added, "I mend pens remarkably well."
"Do tell your sister," said Miss Bingley as she handed the pen to the Colonel, "that I long to hear her playing the harp and I am quite in raptures with her beautiful little design for a table, which I think are infinitely superior to Miss Grantley's."
"Forgive me, Miss Bingley," said the Colonel politely, "I am almost finished writing my letter, perhaps my cousin would help you convey your raptures."
"Oh! It is of no consequence. I shall see her in January. But do you always write such charming long letters to her, Mr Darcy?"
"I don't think my letters are long," said Colonel Fitzwilliam, "my cousin is the one for long letters, but whether they are charming, I cannot say."
Elizabeth stifled a giggle here, and it sounded like a bad cough. Mr Darcy looked at her in concern.
"I hope you haven't caught a cold, Miss Bennet," he said in a low voice.
"Oh no, I'm quite fine, thank you," she said.
Just then, Miss Bingley commanded their attentions.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, your cousin says you write long letters with ease, perhaps you should teach Charles," she said, "Charles writes in the most careless way imaginable. He leaves out half his words and blots the rest."
"My style of writing is very different from your brother's," said Darcy, "I daresay I will not be able to help you there."
"Indeed, Colonel Fitzwilliam doesn't write with ease," said Bingley, "He studies too much for words of four syllables. Do you not, Fitzwilliam?
"My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them—by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents," he added.
"Your humility, Mr. Bingley," said Elizabeth, "must disarm reproof."
"Nothing is more deceitful," said Darcy, "than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast."
"And which of the two do you call my little recent piece of modesty?"
"The indirect boast; for you are really proud of your defects in writing, because you consider them as proceeding from a rapidity of thought and carelessness of execution. The power of doing anything with quickness is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance."
Mr Bingley smiled at Mr Darcy's short speech and asked, "What else you think, my friend, are my inherent charter flaws?"
"You yield easily to suggestion by others," said Darcy. "I know if you were mounting a horse to leave your house and a friend were to ask you to stay till next week, you would probably do it"
"You appear to me, Colonel Fitzwilliam, to allow nothing for the influence of friendship and affection. A regard for the requester would often make one readily yield to a request, without waiting for arguments to reason one into it."
"But to yield readily—easily—to the PERSUASION of a friend is no merit with you and to yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either."
Elizabeth wanted to argue some more but Bingley, who disliked arguments, gave a long-winded speech full of nonsense in hopes of dissipating it.
Mr Darcy smiled, but Elizabeth checked her laughter not wanting to offend her hosts.
Miss Bingley and Elizabeth were then requested to play the pianoforte. Mrs. Hurst sang with her sister, and while they were thus employed, Elizabeth could not help observing, as she turned over some music books that lay on the instrument, how frequently Mr. Darcy's eyes were fixed on her.
"Why does 'Colonel Fitzwilliam' keep looking my way," she thought to herself, "could it be possible that the taciturn man admires me and he wouldn't look if he disliked me, surely?"
After playing some Italian songs, Miss Bingley varied the charm by a lively Scotch air; and soon afterwards Mr. Darcy, drawing near Elizabeth, said to her:
"Do not you feel a great inclination, Miss Bennet, to seize such an opportunity of dancing a reel?"
She smiled but made no answer.
At that moment, Mrs Hurst was within earshot and she seized the moment.
"Why, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what a splendid idea," she exclaimed. "We must have some dance. Now if Miss Elizabeth would dance with the Colonel, I could partner with Mr Darcy."
And thus, Elizabeth found herself dancing with Mr Darcy while Bingley's sisters took turns dancing with Colonel Fitzwilliam. Both Mr Darcy and Elizabeth were silent, surprised at the turn of events.
~~~The Switch~~~
Gladdened by what appeared to be a great success in their matchmaking schemes both Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst put their heads together again for another plan.
It was executed the next morning. Miss Bingley was to lead Mr Darcy to the Netherfield shrubbery while Elizabeth was led there by Mrs Hurst. Mr Hurst was to accompany the Colonel on a morning ride nearby to inspect the fields; these two would return to the house and pass near the shrubbery on their way.
Early in the morning, right after breakfast Elizabeth was accosted by Mrs Hurst, who wanted to take a turn around the shrubbery. Never one to eschew a walk, Elizabeth easily agreed and they set out towards the garden.
"I must say, Miss Eliza," said Mrs Hurst in a conspicuous whisper, "you have gained an admirer in the form of Colonel Fitzwilliam."
"I cannot think that to be true," said Elizabeth demurely.
"But it is why only the other day he said how fine your eyes were," Mrs Hurst proclaimed.
Elizabeth was much pleased to hear Mrs Hurst, but she said, "This only shows he admires my eyes."
"Yes, but he makes conversation only with you, and has desired to dance with you on many occasions," said Mrs Hurst. "Now, you do not know him as we do, so you can't see what we see. It is admiration for you that I see in his eyes. For the Colonel hardly asks for a dance and barely talks."
"I suppose he must admire me a little," said Elizabeth, giving merit.
"Think, my dear, of your prospects," said Mrs Hurst, in a low voice, "He is a colonel in his majesty's army and connect to the illustrious Fitzwilliam family."
At that moment, they heard another voice:
"It would not be easy, indeed, to catch their expression, but their colour and shape, and the eyelashes, so remarkably fine, might be copied."
And they were met by Mr Darcy and Miss Bingley, who were coming from another walk.
"I did not know that you intended to walk," feigned Miss Bingley.
"You used us abominably ill," answered Mrs. Hurst, "Running away without telling us that you were coming out."
At that moment as planned, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Hurst joined them, and Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst ditched their companions to join Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Hurst. Thus, suddenly regrouped Elizabeth found herself left alone with the gentleman in question, Mr Darcy.
