AN: The following pranks were in fact pulled in reality...I won't reveal who pulled them on who, but...please do not try them at home. Maybe in someone else's home!
Souta recommended that they take eight days to plan and wait between the second and third prank—"Why eight?" she had inquired.
"Unpredictability. Plus I have a History and Earth Science test this week. Don't you have to study for your entrance exam?"
Kagome hadn't been studying; in fact, she had been distracted for the past…well, ever since he…then Kagome remembered his suggestion about attending public high school and not worrying about attending private high school. "I…uh, might not need to…yeah, I have to study. Right."
So they patiently waited and occasionally studied ("I aced them! I totally pwned History!"). Eight days passed.
"What are you doing with that scissor?"
Kagome shifted so her shoulder blocked his view of her project. "Oh, I just found his new box of balloons, that's all." She went back to cutting little hearts and stars in his condoms.
Souta shrugged at Kagome's peculiar behavior and went to raid Inuyasha's fridge. His hunger was momentarily forgotten when he noticed the nearly empty trashcan. He cautiously peered into the silver bin—he quirked an eyebrow. A mostly unused can of blood thinner?
Kagome had finished her little project by the time Souta came back with a banana; she was currently seated on the infamous bed, busy flipping through Inuyasha's black leather-bound address book. "Found anything interesting?"
"Na-uh," Kagome said in the negative. "Just a lot of addresses to warehouses and companies."
"No names?"
"Nope, except for a lot of Inc. and Ltd.…and, huh?"
"What?"
Kagome blinked several times. "There's a circled address for an orphanage in Kyoto."
"An orphanage?" Souta sat down beside Kagome on the bed. "Let me see."
"Right here. It's an address and phone number for an orphanage."
The siblings sat in silence for a few moments before Souta asked the obvious: "Inuyasha's an orphan?"
Break Me
Chapter 9: Making the Naughty List
"But he said he has a family company," Kagome recalled. "Maybe he adopted…a couple of…kids?"
Souta and Kagome exchanged a glance and in unison snorted, "No way."
"But he's obviously connected with some sort of packaging and shipping company," Kagome mused.
"He lied to us," Souta crossed his arms, carefully going over his filed memories. "Or he left out that particular detail. He was pretty good at forgetting to tell us about it. He's definitely practiced his words and actions—he hid it well, and I'm betting he's hiding a lot more too." He stroked his imaginary mustache.
Kagome took out a pen and paper.
"What are you doing?"
She scribbled something and held it out for him. "I need you to research this particular orphanage, and find out who Inuyasha's been contacting."
"Kyoto, eh?" Souta took the paper and, smiling, boldly said, "I accept your challenge!"
The two left the apartment three hours later, a little behind schedule but quietly satisfied all the same. They put on their mittens and scarves and took their respective positions behind the familiar tree in the park across the street.
Unbeknownst to Kagome, Souta decided this was good a time as any for a thorough interrogation. "Do you really consider him your boyfriend?"
The binocular slipped out of her hands. "W-what?"
Souta eyed her from the corner of his eyes. "Do you?"
Kagome couldn't look him in the eyes, but casually answered, "No."
"So are you mad at him for seeing other girls?" This kid is way too perceptive. "Kagome?"
"No, I'm not."
"Really?"
"Really." She was mad, but not about that. She was mad she couldn't be naïve anymore. Before he showed up in her life, quite abruptly mind you, she was only interested in video games and food. Now everything in her life seemed to revolve around him and his sexual adventures. She honestly had not wanted to know her libido existed, at least not until she had turned sixteen…
Sixteen…right, she had saved his life and he was going to repay her.
"Let me be your first."
Kagome blushed furiously. That's it, isn't it! He wanted to repay her for saving his life by being her first! That's it! Calling her his girlfriend was his way of being…polite? Formal? She slapped her forehead, ignoring how Souta backed away from her sudden outburst. Man, Inuyasha's SO messed up! "He's just fooling around."
"Uh…" Souta frowned. "Sis, aren't you using him?"
Kagome stared.
"You don't really consider him your boyfriend, right? You just want others to think so." Kagome continued to stare. She was in the wrong too? Well, sure, she was sort of using him to get her relatives off her back. "Still, he should know what comes around, goes…round and round."
He didn't bother correcting her. "This isn't karma! In fact, this is never going to end! He messed with you, so you mess with him, but neither of you actually took the whole relationship thing seriously to begin with, so…"
"Who says I didn't take it seriously?" Kagome muttered under her breath.
"What?"
But it's OK, I grew up. "Yeah, neither of us is taking it seriously anymore. I'm just being a bad girl, and here he comes!"
On cue they held up their high powered binoculars.
--
Inuyasha had been very careful for the past week. In fact, he'd been so careful he was borderline paranoid. For the past week he came home wondering which furniture would be rigged, how many messages were hidden, and what the neighbors' reactions would be—his neighbor kept shooting him a weird look, no doubt from the child predator sign that had hung on his door for god knows how long until he tore it down.
But today, his guard was down. After all, nothing had occurred for eight days. Then again, he hadn't brought a girl home since that foreigner had stormed out. At this rate all his favorite haunts would be off limits; no doubt that blonde chick had spun something by now, perhaps something along the lines of him, the dashing fiend, allegedly trying to trick her into carrying his baby.
Inuyasha shuddered and opened his door. He flicked the lights on—
And the lightbulbs snapped, crackled and popped before exploding into a million little pieces!
Inuyasha stumbled as his eyes wildly swept the ceiling and then the floor. What was left of the lights was on fire and the floor sparkled with shards of glass. Inuyasha cursed and leapt past the shards, not bothering to take off his shoes and thus tracking dirt across the floorboards. He barged into the bathroom and grabbed a towel. While he proceeded to wet the towel in the sink he glanced up…and then did a double-take.
On the mirror was a face of a clown drawn with what he suspected was rouge lipstick. The cherry red nose of the clown sat perfectly over the nose of his reflection—
Ah! No time to admire the picture, no time, he had to put the fire out!
He returned to the hallway and easily wrapped the soaked towel over the fire. He had a second to wonder if draping a towel, wet or otherwise, over a fire was a smart thing to do before the fire went out. He sighed in relief. Luckily the fire had been quite small and weak.
He dropped the towel on the floor, closed the front door, shook his shoes off his feet and thoughtlessly kicked them away, before he trudged to his living room and collapsed on his couch. Great, juuuuust great. Now he could add several hours of mindless chores to his growing list. Well, he was having a bad day anyway. Hey, why not top it off with a psycho prankster who was developing a taste for pyrotechnics?
Inuyasha reached for the conveniently placed box of cigarettes on his coffee table. He'd been trying to go cold turkey for a while, but not today. Nope, definitely not today. He sat up and pulled out his red lighter. He stuck the filtered end between his lips and lit the lighter beneath the opposite end—
And the cigarette snapped, crackled and popped before the opposite end exploded spectacularly!
"ARRRRRGGHH!"
Inuyasha threw the explosive cigarette onto the floor and hastily stomped it out with his slippers. When the cigarette was thoroughly crushed and not on fire Inuyasha backed away, his eyes twitching. Aggravated and patience running dangerously low, a loud growl rose from his chest before he began his breathing exercise, an exercise he was becoming very familiar with. He stomped to his bedroom, deciding that if anymore surprises awaited him he might as well get it over with while his guard was still up.
He slammed the bedroom door open. Nothing out of the ordinary. He flicked the lights one. Nothing. He stepped on the floorboards. Nada. He stared at the walls. They weren't bleeding.
His eyes focused on the bed. He quietly walked to the nightstand and inspected the lamp before his head rotated, eyes glued to the bed yet again. He straightened up and casually flipped over one of the pillows. A box of condoms sat comfortably between the headboard and sheets.
He sighed and picked it up. He had just bought those too. He opened the box and laid out the useless condoms on the bed. Some were decorated with stars and crescent moons, some with hearts and clouds. A lopsided smile graced his features. Well, it was kind of cute.
He continued to take out the condoms until he noticed some of them had letters cut out. He rearranged the rest of the condoms and realized they spelled out a message.
I-N-U-Y-A-S-H-A…S-U-C-K-S…P-U-N
Pun indeed. Well, it was usually the other way around…but he smiled nonetheless.
--
"Hurt?" Kagome frowned. "Him? Oh please, he's half demon, I'm sure he's hardly fazed…ah crap, is that him?"
He looked into the binocular. "Whoa, he's looking right at us."
Kagome followed and looked into her binocular as well. "Is he—he's…he's—?"
"Is he committing suicide?"
"He jumped over the rail!"
"He's coming for us!"
"He landed! Run, run, run, he's definitely coming!"
They ran, they really did, but not even a few paces later they slammed into the hard chest of one tired but amused half-demon, smiling ever so devilishly. The siblings gulped simultaneously.
"Figures," was all he said.
Souta pouted. "How did you know it was us?"
"My neighbor complained about a shriek last week. I didn't think much about it but then I got suspicious because, according to my calendar, I was out that day. Kagome?" He looked her up and down expectantly and his smile marginally widened.
"Shriek? That was Souta!" Kagome pointed accusingly at her brother.
"You threw a vase at me!"
"I hope you two understand," he cut in, "the difference between demonic senses and human physiology."
Kagome and Souta looked down in shame and guiltily muttered, "Yes sir."
"You know, if I was hammered I would've missed your scent trails."
Kagome cursed. "Souta, I told you not to put on too much perfume!"
"So that's why I was getting lightheaded…"
"Let's go," Inuyasha said.
"Where?" The two asked.
His smile was downright vicious. "You two are going to clean up the mess you caused."
Two groans answered.
--
"Your entrance exam's coming up, isn't it?" Inuyasha asked from where he was seated, his legs crossed and back resting against the cotton cushions. He was randomly flipping the channels, but in all honesty his eyes were fixated on the backside of the teen, the poor girl currently on all fours as she picked up the shards.
"Yeah," she said, not realizing the compromising position she had put herself in. She was too busy scolding herself to notice; she should've known his demon senses would catch up to her! Damn, damn, damn, this is what she got for being too creative. Well, it was either his chores or a call to her mom and possibly a police report for breaking and entering. Good grief, she was definitely on Santa's naughty list.
"Nuts?"
"What?" Kagome looked over her shoulder.
"Maybe a foot-long?" His eyes didn't quite reach her face. "Honey buns?"
"Uh, no, not hungry." She had half a mind to go back to work.
"How about sweet tarts?" Needless to say, her backside was quite riveting, especially when she was trying to maneuver on all fours, swaying her hips left and right, left and right…"Oysters?"
"Oysters?"
"Yeah," his voice became husky. "They're aphrodisiacs, you know."
Kagome finally realized why he wasn't looking her in the eyes. Plus that wicked smile and predatory eyes—"Souta!"
"Sis, the lipstick won't come off," Souta stuck his head out the door.
"Inuyasha's offering food!" She panicked.
"I'm not hungry."
"Take the nice man's food, Souta!" She hissed.
Souta sighed. Inuyasha was quickly pulled out of his reverie when Souta came over and, plastering a pained smile, offered to serve him some cheesecake. Kagome watched them disappear into the kitchen before relaxing. Thank goodness Souta was around, otherwise…she whimpered at the thought. She decided to clean the bathroom instead of staying in the hallway.
Sadly, Souta had been right, the lipstick smeared but wouldn't come off the mirror. What kind of lipstick had she used? She growled and reached for another toilet paper when she noticed the address book on the sink. Looks like he'd been sleuthing while working.
Kagome opened to the page Souta had bookmarked and read the words circled with a red pen.
Mrs. Kaede, caretaker
Interesting.
"Uh-oh!" Souta said.
"That's a lot of snow." Inuyasha whistled.
Kagome set the address book down and found the two males by the curtains. Outside the glass door was a blizzard, the snow falling so heavily she could hardly see the skyscrapers through the white blanket. Kagome was awestruck.
"How can we get home?" Souta wondered aloud.
"You better call your mom," he picked up the phone from the kitchen counter. "I'm sure they know you guys aren't in the school library."
Kagome watched the snow fall as Souta dialed and called the Higurashi household. "Mom? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm at Inuyasha's place. Well, it's snowing pretty hard and his place was a lot closer to our schools so we…yeah, Kagome's here too. No, we aren't. I know he's got college work but it was freezing. Here, she wants to talk to you."
Inuyasha took the phone. "Hello? I'm fine, thanks. No, no, they're not intruding." He paused, and for some reason Kagome felt the sense of dread gather at the pit of her stomach. "Of course. Alright, I can do that." Inuyasha caught Kagome's eyes. "It'll be like a sleepover."
AN: Snowed in! Whatever shall become of our heroine? Shall she be seduced by the playboy or will she be able to hold her own while Sherlock Souta distracts the dastardly fiend with his mad skills? Will they ever escape his clutches of evil sexiness? These and other unimportant answers shall be answered soon enough! Stay tuned for the next chapter of Break Me!
