Dear Echizen,
With my two years of traveling experience, I am writing you to give you advice from the one and only expert. I have also included some tennis tips as well, since I now have three years of tennis experience. Here is a list of the top five things you must know about traveling and tennis in order from least to most important:
5) From my two years of traveling experience, I've discovered that American Airlines does not serve Ponta on the plane.
4) Take it from me—while on the plane, if your tennis racket is not kept in your bag, then it is considered a weapon. I took it out once on my plane ride, and the flight attendant reported me as a dangerous person…I'm not exactly sure why, though.
3) Use your twist serve every single time you serve! I don't know if you realized this, Echizen, but with my one year experience of watching you play, you always win the point if you use your twist serve.
2) If your game plan isn't working, switch it to one that actually does work.
1) If all else fails, just ask yourself, "What would Horio, who has three years of tennis experience, do at a time like this?"
Take this advice to heart, Echizen, and you will for sure win the U.S. Open!
(Don't forget to thank me in your speech when you win the finals, for I'm sure that my advice with my two years of traveling experience and three years of tennis experience will help you win.)
The Expert of Everything,
Horio
