Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man :
Chapter 9: Tears
Allen stared not in happiness, not in sadness and not in confusion at the blue haired man. In fact he stared at him with no emotions at all. He didn't know who this man was. He could care less who he was. But he still stared at him. What was going on anyway? Why was this man staring at him in concern? Why was his body hurting? Where was he?
Komui's small smile dropped into that of a serious one.
" Naa, It's nothing. His just mentally unstable. "
Cross's words resounded over and over on Komui's head. He couldn't quite put why. But somehow nothing made sense. Why had Cross called to tell the Black Order of the kid? Why did the golem break? Was the reason of Cross's years without contact to the Order due to this boy? Why did the boy had white hair? And why was he cursed? And just what was he hiding? What did Cross meant by mentally unstable?
Komui suddenly flinched as he saw the emotionless eyes of the boy suddenly brighten.
Allen looked up at Komui and then down toward his bandaged arms and ribs. He looked back up toward Komui.
" Ko - Komui? " He asked a bit shaky. He could barely raise his voice. His throat hurt.
" Yep that's my name! " He smiled cheerfully.
Allen blinked. " Komui, huh... "
Suddenly Komui could see as the boy's eyes widened and as his face quickly turned into that of a terrified child. Allen's soft gaze was soon replaced with the boy's eyes that stared down at him in horror.
" So he finally analyzed the situation... "
" Cross! " The boy finally shouted.
" Huh? Cross? " Komui blinked a bit surprised at how straightforward the kid had been.
He gripped the mans shirt. " Where's Cross! "
Komui stood quiet for a moment. Allen could see as for a moment the man's eyes were completely filled with sorrow and an extreme sadness.
" Tsk! " Komui looked the other way with pained eyes.
Allen almost felt as he were to fall to the ground as he barely breathed. And as though time had stopped and just staring at the man paralyzed was a challenge.
" W - why do you do that? ; Why don't you answer! " Allen demanded.
Allen pushed the man from his seat. The man did not fall as he quickly regained his composure by holding himself on the wall.
He saw the boy press his hands onto fists. " You were the one talking to Cross on the black thing right! Where is Cross! Where is my Master! "
Komui widened his eyes slightly. " Master? "
He raised his finger toward Allen. " You really are the stupid kid! " He smiled mockingly.
Allen grunted. " I AM NOT STUPID! "
" Yep, yep, your reaction was just like the boy who shouted at Cross from the golem! You are the stupid kid! "
" Stop changing the topic! "
Allen raised his hand as to punch him but soon felt as another hand took hold of it. Allen looked up angrily at a young teen with deep red hair. One of his eyes were covered in a black eye patch and the other one that was visible was a deep green. A green bandanna held his red hair up. He wore a long green scarf that reached the ground and a black coat similar to that Cross wore. Except his coat was shorter and he wore white pants and black boots. His huge grin was unmarkable.
" Whoa there new boy! " The teen widened his smile even more. He closed his eye. " You'd better be careful there! You don't want us to loose our trust on you now do you! "
The red haired teen saw as the white haired boy looked up at him in pure anger. He seemed to be desperate to remove the fist but didn't seem to have the strength to do so. The white haired teen gritted his teeth and slapped the red haired teen's hand away.
Allen raised his arm toward his face. He seemed palid. Somehow both the new man and the new teen could tell the boy had just realized something. Something that made him afraid. Something that didn't put him at ease.
" W - what the - huh? - That coat - " Allen battled to say. They realization had hit him.
" Whoa there new boy! " Allen's eyes widened as he remembered those words. The black coat. the words of new boy. This Komui something guy not responding toward him asking of Cross. Allen widened his eyes even more. THE MISSING NOAHS. THE MISSING EARL.
" No, no, no, no " Allen raised both of his hands towards his head. He felt as though his deep breathing and the beating of his heart were all that's left. He could barely feel the pain but still he felt as a wave of dizziness and disgust hit him. No it couldn't be! It couldn't be! why!
" No - ah - you - you! "
Komui and the teen exchanged concerned faces. The red haired teen touched Allen's forehead. " Are you ok? Shouldn't you rest a bit more? "
" Don't touch me!" Allen slapped his hand again.
Allen raised his hand towards his heart trying to contain his feelings of fainting. " Exorcists... " Allen finally blurted out making both of the men flinch. " Your exorcists from the black order aren't you? "
Lavi blinked. " You know us? "
Allen's mouth widened slightly. His eyes widened to that of a person who had heard something impossible. Something incomprehensible. Something all to great to fit in words and yet all too horrible too express in a go. Exorcists, they were exorcists. Exorcists where standing right before him. This was not a dream. It was real. They were made of flesh and blood and him a Noah - wait Noah? That's right he was a Noah! He hadn't heard much of the exorcists from Earl only that they carried horrible innocence and that they where his enemies. But other than that he barely knew anything. Other than Cross he had never seen any other exorcist. So to him this was almost - NO - It WAS a dream come true. The thing he had wished for so much was just before him. Didn't he wanted to go with Cross to BE an exorcist?
Allen knew not why but he felt a small tear fall down his cheek. The red haired teen seemed as though he would say something but the Komui guy put his arm on the teens shoulder. Komui shook his head. The teen went to stand beside the door a bit irritated.
Allen felt as though a dark cloud had disappeared. He slowly raised his head as to look forward. He didn't notice, but a grin full of pure happiness escaped his lips. But somehow even though he felt at peace, something felt wrong. It was the disgusting feeling he had always hated. The gut feeling. The feeling of guilt. Of Betrayal. Of Confusion. The feeling of having lost something. Something precious to him. Allen raised his left arm and touched his cursed eye. It was empty. Soon his face turned into that of horror again. He remembered the events before he fainted, what the Earl had done to him. Allen cleaned his tears with his sleeves as they fell.
Allen had soon realized something. He remembered the Earl had thrown him out of the window. How much it hurt to bleed on the ground. Why just why did the Earl do that!
Allen's tears stopped as he noticed the two men stared at him in concern. Allen didn't know why but he offered a faint smile as to ashure them he was fine.
The Earl what had the Earl done? What had he done to him? Had the betrayal been too much? Where was Road! Where was Tyki! Where were the twins! Where was Skin! Where was Lulu! Where was Cyril! Where was Cross! Where was, where was his family! Had the Earl thrown him away Eliminated him as a Noah?
Allen's sadness soon began to shift into anger mixed with sadness. He removed his hand from his cursed eye and fainted to be calm. He looked up at Komui who just seemed to observe his every movement.
" Did something happen to Cross? " Allen asked calmly but in a rush almost making Komui pull back a bit from him.
Allen then looked at the red haired teen in hope. " He will get better right? " In a way Allen didn't want to hear the answer but at the same time he did. The silence was just killing him.
Both of the men remained silent.
Allen grumped. " Fine, I'll look for him myself! " Allen tried to get up from the bed.
Komui held Allen. " No you can't! Your still injured! "
" STOP! " They soon heard a female voice shout from the door. Allen looked up toward the door. There, stood a Chinese girl. Her hair was a deep green hair tied into two long ponytails. She also wore a dark coat. It was a jacket with a short skirt and black boots. She carried two cups of coffee. She stared at the boy angry for a bit but then soon smiled politely.
" You won't find him. Cross is missing at the moment. "
" W - what? " Allen asked dumbfounded.
"Lenalee! " Lavi scolded her.
She looked up toward the red haired teen seriously. " There's no reason in hiding it Lavi. "
Komui took the cup of coffee. " It's all right we've already sent some Exorcists to search for him. "
Allen stood shocked. Truly shocked. Cross, his master, was missing. But most importantly, knowing the Earl and remembering the last scenes he saw. Allen closed his eyes gently. It hurt him to say it, it truly did but most probably Cross was - Allen gritted his teeth and punched the bed startling the exorcists.
" Damn you! Damn you Earl! " He shouted, voice trembling. Clear anger and unbelief on his voice. " Why? - Why do you have to do this to me? Why! ; Why do you take everything away from me! "
He was about to continue muttering until he remembered something. The exorcists were in the same room. They had just heard him. He looked up to see the exorcists who had truly concerned faces. They seemed surprised as well and a bit fearful.
Allen looked at them in sorrow. He soon took a deep breath.
" Calm down Allen! Calm down! I'm still not sure of what's going on but one thing I do know is that I definitely must not let the exorcists know I am a Noah! " Allen hands shook. He could barely control himself. He knew it. This would be one of those moments he totally lost himself. Cross! Cross! No - this couldn't be happening!
Damn it! His master, what had the Earl done! Damn himself! How could he had cursed the Earl just now? What - what to do! He should be cursing himself!
Allen didn't even bother in smiling. Showing his disturbed and disgusted face he raised a finger pointing toward the door.
" Leave me alone... " He muttered softly holding his tears.
" Wha? " Komui protested.
" LEAVE ME ALONE! " Allen raised his voice clearly shouting in anger and despair. His voice came out cut out and dry.
The exorcists exchanged concerned faces but nodded anyways.
" It's just for a moment, I just, I just - I need to think ok? " Allen said holding himself from shouting and hiding his face with his sleeve.
Lenalee kneeled down to him. " Ok, we will be right in front of your door. Call us if you need anything. "
She offered the other cup of coffee. She smiled. " Coffee? "
Allen shook his head slowly. " No thank you... "
Lavi sighed. " You still haven't told us your name you know? "
" Allen Walker... " Allen said almost unhearable and a bit irritated.
" Let's go guys." Komui said softly and a bit in a hurry as to give the boy some privacy.
Finally after what seemed eternity to Allen they closed the door. As soon as the closed the door Allen could quickly feel as tears fell down his eyes. He raised his arms towards his cheeks. What? What was this? Why was he crying? Did he not believe in the strength of his master? Did he not believe in him? He couldn't possibly be dead! Then again what possibly did he know about Cross? The Earl was the most powerful being Allen could ever meet. He could just not come to imagine anybody or anything beating THE Earl. He just couldn't. It was impossible.
The Earl faked his strength as to seem weak but Allen knew better than that. He had seen the Earl when he got serious in times the other Noah's totally messed up the mission. And it was not pretty. Earl could be kind and gentle but at times he turned into pure evil itself. Earl's tortures were so horrible he could never come to describe them to anybody. The things he had seen the Earl do to the other Noah's was just too horrible. His tortures could maybe come to be called hell itself. It was a miracle the Noah's still maintained their sanity. Even if the other Noah's acted tough all of them, including himself, feared the Earl. Feared him in an unimaginable way but at the same time loved him. It was obvious that if the Noah genes weren't there, each and every one of the Noah's would hate the Earl. Even Lulu feared the Earl. So Allen didn't even have to bother...Cross was DEAD.
Suddenly Allen burst into tears. He sat in fetus position and as not caring for the world he cried out louder and deeper than ever before. He just couldn't help it. Why did it hurt? Why did his chest hurt? Why did he feel so guilty?
Allen knew this whole exorcist thing must not had been a coincidence. There was no way Allen could possibly get stolen, since no matter where he was the Earl could just come pick him up with the Ark. If he hadn't done so by now, then he would not come pick him up any time soon. But just what the heck was up with him! He wanted to be an exorcist, he had always said he wanted to! So why was he crying now? Why was he quickly missing his family! Oh what just what was the Earl thinking? This was all the Earl's doing. So was this just a little gift to him to make him happy or was it something else?
Outside, as soon as Komui closed the door they heard the sound of the young boy crying.
Lenalee closed her eyes. " Poor child! Just how old is he! " She shouted in whisper holding down her own tears. She heard the teen's cries that were filled with sorrow and despair. Truly hard to bear.
" We're not sure Lenalee. We barely got any information out of him. " Lavi said faking to be cold.
Komui looked down. " He called Cross his master..."
Soon Lenalee fell to her knees crying as the boys cries got even more louder. Now he seemed to say some stuff in between but were so mixed in with the sobs they could just not come to understand. She started to cry reaching out toward the door. " Please Nee-san we have to help him! ; His just a child! "
Lavi quickly ran toward her and held her as to not let her run. " No you can't enter Lenalee! "He shouted at her.
" Why? Why? " She hid her face on his shoulders.
Komui looked down at the two teens annoyed. " Get the hell out Lavi! Lenalee's mine! " Lenalee didn't even notice what Komui had said.
" All right, all right chill down" Lavi let go of Lenalee and let Komui hug her instead.
" Haaaa... " Lavi sat on the floor. He took the hammer out of his pocket. He seemed to play around with it.
" So ~ What exactly are we to do with him? Seeing the innocence on his arm logic tells us he is to be taken as an exorcist but... "
" It's just as Cross had told us. " Komui interrupted Lavi.
" That he is mentally unstable? ; I mean, he didn't even bother on hearing us out. "
Komui let go of Lenalee and sat beside Lavi. Lenalee seemed to have clamed down now after Komui seemed to have comforted her.
The three of them sat in front of the door waiting for the boy to calm down.
" I can't quite put it, I know we are supposed to take him as an exorcist and we will but somehow I just get this feeling, this strange feeling... "
" He is shrouded with mysteries. " Lenalee continued.
Komui nodded. " Yes that and also... "
Komui looked at the door. " It's almost as if I look at him and all I can see is darkness. ; A tiny light slowly being consumed by darkness. "
Lavi and Lenalee looked down at the floor depressed.
Lavi raised his arms behind his head. " Haa.. well there is no use talking about that now. ; We will just have to wait for him to calm down and ask him ourselves."
Both Lenalee and Komui nodded. The three talked endlessly as the boy's cries just didn't seemed to cease.
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