Parkinson slams her books down on my desk. I look up at her in surprise and immediately notice the dark circles around her eyes.
"You look terrible, Parkinson," I comment idly.
She looks more than terrible, she looks scared beyond belief. "Granger, you're not crazy, are you." I don't say anything because she doesn't look like she expects an answer.
The girl takes a deep breath. Her eyes jitter in their sockets. "So...that stuff about 'the darkness' and everything...is it all true?" She definitely expects an answer this time and as I stare at her, I see that she believes.
"Yes, unfortunately." I redirect my eyes back to my book. I can tell that Parkinson notices my complete lack of interest in the subject and her irritation is too great for words to describe. Her hands clench and she says through closed teeth, "How can you be so...uninterested in the fact that we're all going to die?"
"I've accepted my fate a long time ago," I reply, looking down at an illustration of water creatures. "You should, too."
I'm surprised when Parkinson slams my book closed. No one has ever dared to do so before. "What is it to you, Parkinson? Remember Zabini?" The last part just slips out. I'd forgotten that Parkinson knew nothing of the circumstances surrounding Zabini's death. I yell at myself. Now she's next in line because of your clumsiness! I sigh and shoulder my bag.
"Goodbye, Parkinson," I say and start picking my way through the library. I no longer notice the stares or unnatractive whispers I attract.
Heavy footsteps behind me tells me that Parkinson is following me. I grit my teeth and decide to head to the grounds where, hopefully, I can make the girl back off.
The weather is very nice today, sunny and warm. But there is a darkness inside of me that won't ever go away. I ignore that part and focus instead on choosing the right words to make Parkinson realize the danger she's putting herself in.
"Look," I begin, turning to face her. I stop when I see the hard determination in her face. I change tactics. "You're not going to give up, are you," I say.
She lifts her chin stubbornly even though she must be scared out of her mind. "Not like you are. I don't want to die," she says. Her tone is hard and I find myself liking that about her. I yearn for her kind of strength.
"What exactly do you want from me?"
"I won't lie and say I'm a great student, Granger," she begins. "I need a partner, one I can prepare with. I need someone who can teach me. When this thing comes, we need to be ready for it, right? We need to learn all sorts of spells, fighting tactics. And I want to know what are we going to be fighting."
"Wait," I say. "I need to know something first. Why do you believe that what I say is real? For all you know, I could be lying and 'traumatized'." My own disbelief shows through my words. I am, after all, not crazy. I do not need help.
Parkinson hesitates and I knows she's wondering how much to tell me. "It's Draco," she says finally. "He's so different now...It's just everything that's been happenening and I-" Her breath catches in her throat. "I feel the danger, too. It's so tangible now. It surrounds Draco and the wind whispers it. Everything's warning us, its just that most of us can't understand!" Tears stand out in her eyes.
"I know it's dangerous," she whispers, "especially if he finds out. And I'm not stupid, I know Draco had something to do with Zabini's m-murder. But I've no one else to turn to, Granger...I'm the only one who believes you and I believe that you also need me. Two is better than one, right?" And she's looking at me with such hope that I can't refuse.
I pause before- "It's called the unknown," I say, slinging down my bag. I sit down and she follows suit. I tell her everything I know. I don't know what to expect from her but she is right. We need each other. I realize I'm not ready to die.
She interrupts with questions. I am surprised of how practical they are. The girl seems to be infused with a bone deep determination, she is not going to break, this one. As our time draws to a close, I say, "We will have to meet each other as often as possible. I'll bring the necessary spellbooks and we'll practice then." We both stand.
"Parkinson, when the time comes-"
"I'll stick with you, Granger."
We hesitate a few seconds more and in that few seconds, we forge a bond stronger than steel. Two humans connected by the threat of death and instinctive need for survival. We lock eyes and she nods slightly.
"McGongall's classroom? After hours?" she asks.
I nod and we head up to the castle where we then go our separate ways. I find myself praying that Parkinson will make it.
