Disclaimer: I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way.


In Your Arms

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Sitting alone at a table in the back of the dark bar, I ran my finger along the edge of my empty shot glass. I wasn't completely gone, but that's what I was going for. I would be carefree. I couldn't be carefree as a sober man, that was brought to light earlier in the evening.

I glanced up and squinted my eyes as I read the time from the illuminated clock on the wall. I had broken Temari's curfew, yet no one had punished me. It was around one in the morning, but it could have been two—the hour hand wouldn't stop moving.

"Do you need another drink, sir?" I looked up at the blonde standing over me.

"Yeah," I sighed and shoved the glass towards her. "Just bring me sake; I didn't like draft, and that liquor..." I didn't need to finish, the girl was smart enough to understand that I wasn't drunk enough.

Kankuro had a few drinks with me, but he was looking for companionship. I sat up in the booth to see if I could spot him. He was around the pool table with a bunch of older guys, and I thought I saw him slap some money on his shot. I figured we'd be wasted together, but no such luck for Shikamaru.

"A young woman called for you," the blonde said as she returned with a clay container of sake, "did you want the message?"

Everyone knew me in Konoha. I couldn't hide. I ran my hands over my face to try and get control over my sudden urge to collapse on the floor. Couldn't Temari give me some time? I was only over her curfew by—hell, I forgot what time it was.

"What was her message?" I just took a large drink from the pitcher itself, reveling in the feeling as it burned my throat.

"It was a young woman named Temari. She said that you need to find your way home, or she'll pick you up herself. She seemed rather nice after she stopped shouting profanities. Is she a friend of yours?" The blonde was looking right at the engagement band on my ring finger.

"Thanks for the message. I should be done with this soon enough." I ignored her flirting and waved the clay pitcher at her.

"I made a lot of cash off those old men. You want to try your luck?" Kankuro asked as he slid in the booth across from me.

I mustered a heated glare and took another swig of sake. No escape. No man would leave a woman when she was pregnant with his child, not in the Nara family, at least. Konoha frowns upon children born outside of wedlock. I'd be dooming the kid before it even came into the world.

My thoughts ended when I realized someone had a hold on my wrist. I wasn't able to take another drink of the fiery substance. I couldn't dull the thoughts.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Kankuro had a lot of nerve bringing up my drinking when he was one of the biggest alcoholics in Sunagakure.

"The thoughts keep coming. You aren't helping," I muttered, my voice slightly slurred.

"Drinking this," he said and took a drink, "isn't going to dull thoughts for someone like you. It'll leave you pretty bad, but not brain dead."

"She knows we're here. Temari called and said she'd come to get me if I didn't get home." I laughed after I told him, and he frowned at me.

"Maybe taking you out for a drink was a bad idea. I didn't know you'd drink yourself crazy," Kankuro sighed as he eased the sake away from me.

"I should just leave Konoha. I could take refuge in one of the ally villages. I could have a message sent to Tsunade-." Kankuro put a hand over my mouth and ended my jumbled planning.

"I know you don't want this, but she's having your kid, Shikamaru. You can't just run away from this," Kankuro said as he moved his hand away.

"Fine, but I'm not going back there. I don't want to see her," I grumbled as I got out of the booth.

All eyes were on me as I struggled to keep my balance. I grabbed the edge of the table to stop the world from spinning. I felt even worse, and having everyone looking at me wasn't helping. I didn't know it, but they were wondering what had happened to cloud-watching Shikamaru. I wondered the same thing.

"We can't go back there," Kankuro said as he supported most of my weight.

I winced as I heard the door to the bar slam closed behind us. My arm was around Kankuro's shoulders, and his arm was around my waist. Hadn't we done this before? Didn't we already know how bad alcohol was when it came to problem-solving?

"No!" I planted my feet and fell to my hands and knees.

He was leading me right back to Temari. Everything was moving so fast. I began to question if anything were real. I reached out to touch his face as he bent down next to me, but I never made it that far. I grabbed my stomach and vomited into the weeds.

My whole body lurched as I heaved, and I saw myself like that. I saw myself as that alcoholic husband—loud, bitter wife; sad, suicidal little girl or boy. I didn't want that. I wanted to lie in the grass and fall asleep while watching the clouds.

"Come on," Kankuro said as he pulled me to my feet. "Temari's going to kick my ass for letting you get this bad. Look, if I get a hotel room, are you going to think of something to tell her in the morning?" In my haze, I nodded at his words. "I know what you're going through. I got a girl pregnant when I was fourteen. Temari twisted my arm to marry her, and I was going to, but she lost the baby. Then, I guess she lost herself. I'm not going to twist your arm, Shikamaru. You're a smart guy, you'll do what's right."

That was what I had wanted to hear. Maybe he was implying that I should marry Temari, but it was still so open-ended. I wasn't going to marry her, but I wouldn't hurt her either. I would tell her when I saw her the next day.

As a Genin, I had made it clear that I wanted a wife and kids, but I didn't see Temari as that woman. Looking around at my life, I didn't see a woman at all. Honestly, I didn't even see that family. I saw Kankuro talking to me about betting on his shots at the pool table. I saw him laughing as he mentioned how he had hit someone with the cue ball. I saw him. Regardless of the child Temari and I had created.

"I need a room." Kankuro noticed that I had gotten quiet, but I hadn't passed out.

"Would you like a double?" The man behind the desk of the mediocre hotel glanced at me with some worry. "Is he going to be all right? Do you need a medic-nin?"

"He'll be just fine when you give us the damn key!" Kankuro was tired of seeing people give a down man that pitied look—he secretly thought I deserved better.

I was able to walk into the room without any assistance, and I locked myself in the bathroom. Using the toothbrush and toothpaste provided, I cleaned myself up. My eyes weren't bloodshot, but they were half-lidded and tired-looking. My lips were paler than usual. Other than that, I was still fine.

As soon as I opened the bathroom, I saw that Kankuro had kicked off his shoes and chosen one of the two beds as his own. Some foreign show played on the television, but I couldn't understand most of what they were saying. It looked to be about children and their digital monster friends. Kankuro looked about as interested in it as I was.

"I'm going to shower. Feel free to try to find something that isn't that," Kankuro said as he sent a glare at the television.

The bathroom door closed with a definite click, and I fell back onto my bed with a sigh. All of that alcohol went to waste. I felt sobered, and it annoyed me. Staring up at the ceiling, I noticed that small triangles littered the white background. I guessed that the angles in the triangles were sixty degrees, making them equilateral. I was very bored.

Temari. She was still a problem. She'd always threatened to go after people, so I knew her threat was an empty one. What bothered me is that she actually thought I'd listen to her curfew. I wasn't going to bow down to her, even if I did have feelings for her. Were the feelings strong enough to even be called love? I jumped as the bathroom door opened.

"Did you call her?" I swallowed hard as Kankuro emerged in only a towel.

"Who?" My voice didn't shake, and it sounded uncaring enough to pass as normal.

"Your fiancée, you moron!" Kankuro laughed.

I felt something hot, and I realized that I must have been blushing. A smirk settled onto my face, but the heat wouldn't leave. I was still staring, yet he hadn't pointed that out.

"No," he frowned and walked for his clothes.

"I didn't ask a question," I said as I sat up.

"You didn't have to." He cast a glance at me as he headed back towards the bathroom.

"We never said 'I love you' to one another," I found myself saying as I got up.

"What we did was harmless fun," he frowned and stood his ground.

"Yeah, it was." It suddenly felt odd, but not in a bad way. "Just one more time won't hurt," I said with a small smile.

"You're wedding is two weeks away and you want to have sex with me. Isn't that a bit wrong to you?" Kankuro asked as he gave me a disgusted look.

"It's not wrong, I'm not marrying her and the wedding isn't going to happen." His look turned to one of confusion.

"What the hell are you saying?" Kankuro asked in a irate tone.

"I...," I faltered for a moment, but the words suddenly came to mind, "I love you."

I put a hand to my head as the dull throbbing ended. That was what I had been wanting to say. It felt good to say it, but Kankuro had yet to respond. His look was rather calm, more along the lines of passive shock than anything.

"You should get some sleep," he said as he turned and closed the bathroom door.

"I should get some sleep." It was just the reaction I had wanted to hear. Not only did I confess to another man that I had feelings for him, he shot me down. It was embarrassing. It was frustrating.

And all the while, I thought he felt it too.


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Author Rant

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No. That was what Kankuro said to Shikamaru. The significance of that two letter word is that they both had to be thinking the same thoughts, since neither of them voiced their individual thoughts. That means that they both wanted to...well, you get the picture.

Kankuro's reaction to Shikamaru's confession is rather normal. He has his sister to consider. He has his image (as a shinobi, a man, and a relative to the Kazekage) to consider. Also, how could he live with himself if he managed to screw the "major plan" up?

Next Chapter: ---

Still working on it.

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Ja ne.