A Tale of Three Druids

A Past to Remember

Resdlen dove onto the hard boards of the deck, grimacing as he bruised his shoulder.

Vanessa's ship was detonating, Blizzard knows why, and they were still on it. It would appear that Vancleef had planted explosives and was letting them loose.

"Dis way, mon! Dere be some ropes!" Resdlen cried, and leapt for a rope. He sensed, rather than felt, his companions do the same. His strong blue hands closed around the rope, and he began swinging through the air, in a manner similar to some monkeys use vines. "Wait a moment…" he muttered as a thought struck him. "What's holding da ropes?" He glared up, to find the ropes suspended on nothing. "Meh." He shrugged; there were weirder things in the world.

As they slammed into a ledge, Yeow knelt and began healing all their wounds, just as Vanessa's ship began to detonate, prow first. A piece of nondescript debris crashed into the orc's forehead, and hetumbled over the edge. Only to be caught by Resdlen, seizing the orc's wrist. "Dear lord," he muttered as his comrade's weight threatened to break his arm, "Da Orcs are heaviah den dey look, and dey dun look light." He gasped, praying that the weight wouldn't simply snap Resdlen's arm while the hunter plummeted to his death.

Fortunately, his prayer was answered by Yeow, hefting them both back onto the ledge. The ship began to blast with new intensity, and Resdlen, in his somewhat fevered wisdom, snapped open a purple rimmed gate to Moonglade. "Gah in, or die. Ya choice." He declared, waiting for the others to stride through. The Orc didn't quite stride through, as he was unconscious over Fliflax's shoulder, but he did make it in. Resdlen followed through, just as the ship exploded picturesquely in the background.

The party began to wander their separate ways, including the Orc, due to the healing powers of the druids of the Cenarion Circle. However, he was forcibly ejected from the location due to his violence against the dwarf residents of the glade.

"Nah. I'm not gonna pay ya." Resdlen stated to the flight master, who was unfortunately unaware of his questionable sanity.

"Sir, I'm not asking for"-

Resdlen shushed him, and declared "I simply won't, sir. Last time I checked, da Square give ya rides fah free. And I tink ya just trying to get da money fah yaself. If ya ain't gonna follow da traditions, I'll just have ta walk home, and I'm willin'."

The flight master flung his arms in the air and cried "FREE!"

Resdlen nodded and said "Dat's what I'm talking 'bout, mon. Dun be betrayin' da Cenarion Square." In Resdlen's arms a large monkey sat, peeling a banana. As he mounted the wind rider, he called "Tanks fah takin' care of Amy, Phil, Bob, Lewis, Joe, Joey, Bobby, Billy, Emma, Courtney and othah Jack!" A massive grin graced his face as he flew to the Crossroads.

As Resdlen dismounted the borrowed wind rider, he glanced around at his home. A deep, contented sigh slipped from his lips. The landscape may be, well, barren, but it was home. Then he was punched with great gusto in the gut. As he crashed into a wall, he pondered, quite calmly, who was assaulting him. And then a great smothering blanket of darkness enveloped him, and he welcomed it, knowing that he would wake up.

When he stirred, he was mildly irritated. For one, a headache pounded in his skull. Second, he was tied to a chair. Which usually suggested that he was going to be tortured in the near future. Ah well, he thought. It's not as if he's never had that happen. In fact, he invented most of the forms of torture commonly used at that time.

Fliflax strode in, which somewhat surprised him, but he accepted it with equanimity. Resdlen glanced around the room, observing. It appeared familiar, almost- Ah-Ha! This was Fliflax's room, where he had been imprisoned before. "Ya mon? Can we get straight ta de answahs, and skip da torture?" Fliflax grinned savagely.

"That depends," his voice boomed, "you can be cooperative, or you can be resistant and get tortured."

"I'd rathah not."

"I'm not giving you a choice."

"Ya just did."

"That's hardly a choice."

"I'm hardly sane."

"Insane or no, you can still feel pain."

"Ah, some of ya ignorance is revealed."

"Surely you feel pain."

"Maybe, maybe not. But I'm sure ya do."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Ja."

Fliflax growled menacingly, and his arms swung in a wide arc. Resdlen prepared for the impact of Fliflax's staff and his jaw. It never came. Resdlen's eyes opened, and saw that Fliflax must have missed.

But something seemed missing, in his peripheral vision. Oh no, he thought, a realization coming to him. His eyes crossed as he stared at the shattered remnants of his tusk. A feral roar filled the air, and Resdlen screamed "JA WANT TO KNOW MA PAST? WELL, HERE YA GO!" A blast of arcane energy formed a halo around Resdlen, hesitating for one moment, and then flinging outwards. Fliflax grunted as his world disappeared.

Suddenly, he was in a ship, swaying and rolling. He was sitting in a somewhat uncomfortable chair, and across from him sat a dwarf. The stench of sweat and alcohol rolled off of the dwarf, who clutched a drumstick in his hand. Somehow, he knew he was on the Maiden's Love, the predecessor to the Maiden's Fancy. He also knew that the dwarf across from him was Steelbelly, the galley chief of both the Maiden's Love and the Maiden's Fancy.

"So ya saying dat I 'ave to 'ave survived a shipwreck ta get an earring?" A very familiar voice came out of the mouth Fliflax felt as his own.

The dwarf nodded, and said "Aye. Though some hooligans have been buying 'em without the right, the idiots! It means nothing unless the tradition is respected."

Resdlen rose, and told the dwarf "A moment." He trudged up the stairs, or rather, so did Fliflax, and he squinted in the brilliant sunshine. He could feel everything, and yet he knew he was in Resdlen's body, sometime in the past. He approached the captain, and Fliflax had an idea of what he was going to do.

The goblin spun around and snapped "Whadda ya think you're"- whatever he had to say was lost after that, for Resdlen flung him over the side of the ship, and wrenched the wheel to one side. He staggered back down the stairs to the galley, raising a hand in greeting to Steelbelly.

"Two things," Resdlen said, holding up his fingers, "One, where can I get a good earring? Two, duck." The troll dove to the ground just as a rock jutted through the wall of the ship, narrowly missing the stocky dwarf. The whole ship canted to the left, and Resdlen realized that the ship was about to do a barrel roll. "ABANDON SHIP!" He cried, sprinting up the stairs. He heard the thump of the dwarf hot on his heels. He clambered up the stairs, which were now somewhat horizontal. As he dolphin-dived over the rails, Steelbelly's hand seized the troll's ankle, sending them both tumbling into blackness.

%^%

Resdlen sputtered, gasping for air and struggling to stay afloat in the thrashing sea. He prepared to make for shore when he saw Steelbelly thrashing, his beard flopping around wetly. The troll wrapped his arm around the befuddled dwarf's throat, and hauled him to shore.

Resdlen lay there, staring at the stormy skies, not a thought in his head. He wasn't sure how long he lay there, but eventually his stomach woke him.

He grunted, and began collecting twigs and logs for a fire. As he rummaged, a tap on his shoulder startled him.

"Ahem." The throaty voice of Steelbelly snapped. Resdlen winced.

"I did save ya life," He started, but the dwarf held up a hand.

"I'll be discussing nothing with you until we are sheltered, fed, and working on a way out of here." Resdlen nodded. He trudged back to camp, and arranged a fire.

Steelbelly scoffed. "I'll be cooking of course. I am Steelbelly, the renowned chef after all." Resdlen shook his head. The dwarf snorted. "You wouldn't know fine cuisine if it hit you in the face!" he cried.

The troll chuckled and replied "That's the point. Food isn't supposed to be able to slap you." The dwarf huffed, but sat next to the troll anyways. Resdlen occasionally stoked the fire, poking it with a stick.

Eventually, he planted his hands on his thighs and instructed Steelbelly "Keep the fire going. If I come back, and ya gone, don't expect a rescue mission." He trotted off, slinging a nasty looking polearm from his back. Suffice it to say, a long episode occurred, and the results were that Resdlen had several slabs of meat, and the forest was slightly less populated and much bloodier.

He gouged his fire-poking stick through the three slabs of meat. Fetching two Y-sticks, he stabbed them into the ground, and laid the stick across them, making a makeshift spit. He sighed. "Look," he began, but Steelbelly stopped him.

"Neither of us have a decent shelter, nor a good way out of here. I'll work on a hut. You need to work on a raft. Or, of course, you could scout out the area. Find a town, hopefully one with an inn." The dwarf stated.

"I wonder what dwarves taste like? Probably a bit stringy." Resdlen mused. Steelbelly shot him a glare, but rose nonetheless to prepare the shelter. Resdlen continued his monotonous pattern of turning the spit, and finally removed the meat from the spit, laying it out on a rock.

He rose, and stretched, rolling his shoulders. Glowing emerald orbs formed around his hands, and he focused intensely on a tree. Three treants, or tree men, peeled off the trunk and puttered over to him.

"Anyone tries ta take da meat, kill 'em. Kill 'em extra hard if dere a human." They showed no acknowledgement, but he knew that they had heard of them.

His muscles began contracting, his jowls jutting forward, his spine bending. Fur sprouted from his body, and soon, he was a cheetah. Bounding off into the desert terrain, he snarled gleefully. And then a commando in plate armor crashed into him.

"HELP!" Resdlen cried, slashing at the commando's face, the only unprotected part of him. A knife blade struck his ribs, just as his powerful jaws crushed the human's windpipe. Shifting back into his troll form, he sealed the cut, and many others besides.

He sighed. Apparently, he thought, he was going to have to do this the hard way. Muscles rippling, he transformed into the famous bright blue lion, and began sliding through the grass, ever so stealthy. The whole experience blended, being so monotonous.

However, the pattern was broken when Resdlen peered out of the grass and observed a goblin. This goblin was clearly a warrior, clad in plate armor, a brutal mace in his hand. What most surprised Resdlen, though, was the crest on his shoulder. It was not any crime syndicate he knew of, nor anything else he knew of. He deciphered the runes above the crest. R-A-T-C-H-E-T. Ratchet. That was where he had been headed, wasn't it? Ah well, he thought, time to alert Steelbelly.

Suddenly, he realized something. The treants wouldn't know the difference between Steelbelly and a thief. He bounded off, putting all of his energy into his movements, batting aside any humans that dared attack him.

The sounds of wood dully smacking flesh floated to him. And then the sounds of wood being bludgeoned to a pulp. Resdlen roared, crashing into the last treant. It splintered beneath his paws, the energy that Resdlen had used to sustain it released. He turned to look at Steelbelly. The glare on Steelbelly's face told Resdlen that he had best have a damn good explanation for this.

"I found Ratchet." Resdlen announced as he morphed into a troll. Steelbelly's face lit up with glee, and he dashed off to find it, Resdlen close behind.

%^%

Resdlen cheered as he downed his fourth cherry grog. Today was a good day, so far. Despite his drunken appearance, his mind was sharp and nimble. He detected a tingle in his pocket. His hand seized the thief by the collar and flung him into the counter. He was surprised, however, when he saw a regal looking Blood Elf sprawled across the bar.

"And who would ya be?" Resdlen demanded, his knife in hand.

"Everlight to my friends, sir to you." The thief sniffed.

"And why, pray tell, where ya picking ma pocket?" Resdlen continued.

"I wasn't. My hand brushed your pocket, and then you grabbed me and assaulted me. You, my friend, are the criminal." The Blood Elf spat. Resdlen chuckled.

"Indeed. Follow me. I'll show ya someting."

The Blood Elf chuckled. "Nab him." He nodded to someone behind Resdlen. Before the troll could respond, four strong arms seized him. They hauled him away, ignoring the pungent curses drifting to their ears.

Waatralla! Pretty crazy, right? Well, it may not be as long as Groose's chapter, but it's damn long nonetheless!