8/4/10 - This chapter has been edited and re-posted on this date.

First, thank you to Aerynzu for alerting me that "Cal" made an appearance here. The character Gene was originally named Cal, but I didn't want readers to confuse him with Cal Myers so I changed his name. When this chapter was first published, the name "Cal" still appeared in several lines and I missed it. Lucky for me Aerynzu alerted me so that I could fix the problem. I think Cal is gone now.

Second, thank you to all who add this story to their story alert list or set it as a favorite; I can't believe how many of you there are!

And a big thank you to those of you that write a review! I like knowing what you think.

Reminder: Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Charlaine Harris


(9) Tabloid News

The house is quiet as I get dressed. The nearest person awake is outside; I sense two Weres and Patty. Patty is getting closer to the house as I concentrate on her. I can sense that my brother is still on the couch. This should be a pleasant morning but I can't help feeling a little angry. Eric's unexpected surprise last night was nice, even if I'm mad at him.

Mr. High-Handed has left me another note. I open it.

Lover,

In light of last night's events, there is an additional Were guard. You will need to call Alcide before leaving the area so that a clothed Were may accompany you.

Please be prepared to leave for work when I rise. I will enjoy awakening to your scent on the sheets. Thank you.

We have a few matters to discuss tonight, if not in the car then in the office. Think carefully on how you wish to negotiate, Dear One.

E

I narrow my eyes at the letter. I know exactly what he wants to negotiate. Eric Northman is a master at negotiation, I'm lucky to come out ahead on anything. Maybe I should tell him that some things are non-negotiable. He says that kind of thing to me.

I lock my door and go to the closet. I rearrange the boxes to cover the door in the floor.

Before I open the bedroom door I hear the back door open and close. Patty has come back inside. I come out and then meet her in the kitchen. She just came back from a run.

There aren't any paths for running in my woods. I ask her where she went running. Patty says that she went out to the road, made a right and jogged to the intersection. Once there, she turned around and headed back. I'm impressed; it's at least two miles to that intersection.

Patty sighs and tells me that a Were was following her the entire time. He stayed in the tree line, but she knew he was there. Patriarch Eric left a note saying that while there is no evidence that she is in danger, he is not taking any chances.

I ask her if she has eaten yet and she hasn't. My guess is that she isn't comfortable enough to fix herself something in my kitchen. I tell her that I'll fix us up something good while she showers and changes.

Patty gives me an odd sort of look as we eat. I ask her, "Is something wrong?"

Patty responds, "That's what I'm wondering about you."

I blink. "Huh?"

Patty tells me, "Well... I would have thought that you'd be... uh... happier this morning..." Yep, she definitely heard us going at it.

I exhale. "Oh. Well, Eric and I have a disagreement. We'll work it out."

She looks at me sideways, "Is there any arguing with him?"

I laugh. "He does make it near impossible to win. Your patriarch can be a stubborn ass."

Patty smiles, "Oh so now he's my patriarch instead of your husband? He must be in trouble."

I smack my lips. "You bet he is." I look at Patty, "When you were engaged to Tim did you two talk about money?"

Realization dawns on her face, "Yeah. Money is a big part of marriage."

My head bobs like it does when I'm not entirely comfortable. "Yeah, but..."

Patty looks at me and asks, "What did he do?"

I sigh. "He is paying for everything. My monthly bills haven't been showing up so I called... They've been taken care of."

Patty does not understand. "That is a bad thing?"

How can she not understand? "They aren't his bills to pay!"

She bites her lip. "If you're married, then he has the same legal obligations that you do to pay the bills..." She looks at me, "I like having my own money too. Tim and I sat down once and figured out how much more he made than me. We created a couple of joint accounts. Tim contributed more because he earned more at work; we had sort of a his, mine and ours system."

I look up at her. "At least both of you contributed..." She looks at me. I tell her, "Eric can spend less in two hours than I make in a year. That car outside costs more than I make in three, before taxes! He's paying for everything so that I have nothing to contribute."

Patty tells me, "I doubt he sees it that way."

I gasp. "So you agree with him. You're taking his side?"

Patty pulls her head back. "You know, my mother didn't work. She had a master's degree in psychology, but it was more important to her to be with us kids. She did not contribute money to the family; she contributed more than money can buy."

I sigh. "That is not the same."

Patty agrees. "You're right. We could have had a bigger home and fancier cars if she worked. Family was more important."

I take a deep breath. "It's still not the same. Your mother stayed home to be with her family."

Patty furrows her brows, "Did he tell you to stop working?"

I tell her. "No. Of course not; he knows that I need to get out and be around humans."

She raises a brow. "Then what's the problem? Sookie, you're his wife not his mistress... Your Gran raised you right? Did she work? Or was she a kept woman?"

My eyes turn up as I smirk at her. "She was not a kept woman. Gran was a house wife." I give her a sideways glance. "You really are related him."

She laughs, "I don't know about that."

I catch her eye again. "I have a DNA test kit. You can put aside your doubts when the results come back."

Patty laughs nervously. "I don't know that I want proof."

I raise my brows. "At least you could put aside your doubt. And it would make Eric happy."

She chuckles. "Yeah, I think a happy vampire is preferable." We both laugh. Patty adds, "Men like to feel that they're good providers. I bet your husband would be happier if you let him provide; the male ego is very fragile."

I snort at that. "So what do you say?"

Her jaw drops. "You can give him something he wants too, you know."

My head tilts to the side. "I am not giving up my financial independence."

Patty is exasperated. "Sookie, you're married."

I say, "I know that... I'd like very much to show him the certificate proving your relation to him."

Patty widens her eyes. "If I'm doing that test for him, you have to do something for him too... Something that you are reluctant to do."

I narrow my eyes. "Why do you care?"

She shakes her head, "I'm not saying that I do. I'm saying that if I'm doing something for him, you have to also."

I can't believe her. "What else can I do?"

Patty smiles, "Maybe you could buy my cooperation. But you'd probably need to dip into your joint account."

Fuckin' A, "With a thousand years between you I would have expected the apple to have fallen farther from the Viking tree." She raises a brow. I respond, "Fine. I'll give Eric's plan for us a chance. You are taking that DNA test."

Patty presses her lips, "Deal."

I roll my eyes. "I was probably going to lose this argument tonight anyway." I turn a predatory smile on her. "He's going to love you all the more for this."

She starts. "Maybe I don't want to do the test after all."

I give her a stern look. "You said we had a deal. You back out, I back out."

Patty sighs. "You're right, and I keep my word."

I go into my room and pull out the DNA kit. On my way back I see that Jason is sitting on the couch. He is awake and with a very odd look upon his face. He looks at me but says nothing as he watches me pass by.

I explain that all she needs to do for her part is to scrape the tip of the special swab on the inside of her cheek.

Before placing the swab in her mouth she says, "You won't go back on your word will you? I'm not one for tattling, but I might just do it if you back out after I do this."

My smile tightens. "You have my word. I keep my word."

Patty eyes me as she swabs her cheek and then places the swab inside the vial.

I watch Jason as he get up and he heads for the bathroom. His breakfast is warm in the oven and I'll take it out when he comes to the table. In the meantime, I start to clean up the kitchen and Patty helps.

We finish about the same time Jason comes in. We greet one another, even though Jason and Patty eye one another anxiously. Patty excuses herself to go upstairs to work as I pull Jason's breakfast out of the oven.

Jason takes a bite out of his biscuit. He is thinking of what to say to me. He starts, "I realize now that you and mama had problems, Sookie. But Mama was not a kept woman; she was a wife. And Daddy worked two jobs just to pay our bills. You're not mama."

Color me confused. "Jason, Mama has nothing to do it."

Jason takes a bite of his eggs. "I disagree. Mama and Daddy were our only married role models when we were young. You're afraid that if you let your vampire take care of you that you're one step closer to being like Mama. I know she done you wrong Sook, but I didn't realize just how bad she hurt you."

He's totally wrong, but sweet. "Sweetie, Mama and Daddy died when I was seven. I don't remember them as well as you do. And I never said that Mama was a kept woman."

"No. You didn't. You didn't have to." His eyes get misty. "Our family didn't do much right by you. Maybe that's why that vampire is in your life, it seems he's doing right by you. I for one am happy that the flame thrower talked to you. He wants to do for you Sookie. You oughta let him."

I growl. "I am... You know I'm beginning to feel ganged up on. Can we talk about something else?"

He asks, "What would you like to talk about?"

For the next half hour I get updates on his work crew and a major screw up with some paperwork that delayed work on one of the roads.

After breakfast I notice that my brother is not leaving for home. He tells me that he is staying with me until my vampire comes tonight. What happened to my brother and where is he? I think Jason picks up on my thought because he tells me that my brother is right here; he's just a bit more mature is all. I can't help but wonder how long it will last. It is sweet and all, but I'm not so sure that I like it. For one, I have enough shadows following me throughout the day. For another, I would feel horrible if something happened to my brother because someone tried to attack. People have a habit of getting hurt or killed when they're near me.

Jason moves to the living room and turns on the television while I grab the cordless phone and take it into my bedroom. I call Remy Savoy. Remy called me a while back but the fairies were on my tail and meeting with Hunter would have been too dangerous.

Remy Savoy is my late cousin Hadley's ex-husband. Hunter is their little boy; He's five years old. Hadley, like most other people, thought that I was crazy. We were good friends for a while, but once adolescence hit she was just as bad to me as everyone else; sometimes worse. My problem was that I was a telepath without any guidance and I was too young to truly understand much of what I heard in other's minds. Hadley was not telepathic, but her son is and Remy doesn't know what to do about it.

Remy is relieved to hear my voice. Hunter had asked one of the day care workers if she would bring in her rabbit. Mrs. Price liked her toy a lot, so she should bring it in to share. Mrs. Price told Hunter that she didn't own any rabbits and asked what made him think of such a thing. By the end of it, it was clear that somehow Hunter knew that Mrs. Price had a... um... well, a sex toy called a rabbit. Hunter still thinks that it's just a fun toy and doesn't understand the fuss. Remy pieced it all together after Mrs. Price called Remy concerned that Hunter was being exposed to things he ought not to be.

With the way things are right now, I don't want to risk bringing attention to Hunter. I tell Remy that things are crazy but that I will come see them as soon as they settle. I'll find a way.

In the meantime I talk to Hunter on the phone. While we are on the phone he tells me that he can only hear me with his ears. I explain that it is because we are so far apart; if we were closer we could speak with just our minds. I then tell Hunter that other people do not know that he can hear with his mind; it's a secret. We need to pretend that we hear only what people say with their mouths or we will give the secret away. Hunter perks up and says that he can keep a secret. Before hanging up, Hunter asks if Aunt Sookie will come to his birthday party. I don't know the answer; my life is like a rollercoaster. I tell Hunter that I have to get permission first. He says "Okay," and hopes that I get a "yes."

As I pass the bottom of the stairs to return the phone to the cradle, I can hear Patty's voice. She is talking to someone on her cell. It sounds like she is venting; good.

I decide to spend some time out in the sun today with Harry Potter but I need to pee and then change into my bikini first. I will need to take some Midol for cramps and bloating too before I head out.

While I'm in the bathroom I note that I don't have any tampons left. It's been a while since I used one last. I try to think of when the last time was. Fudge. I'm going to have to go to the store before I lay out in the sun. I have one tampon in my purse, but if it starts today I'll need more than that. If it starts tonight, I'll be at work; so I need to go prepared.

Am I really going to call Alcide to come or send someone to come just so I can buy a box of tampons? Good lord, what has my life come to? I'll need baby shower gift wrap, so I can buy that too while I'm out. I also need to get a card. What else do I need? I'll need more shaving gel soon and shampoo and conditioner. Okay, there are a few things I need; not just tampons.

I know that Eric wants me to have a guard wherever I go but it does seem silly. I could run down to the store, pick up all those items and be back in less than twenty minutes. Instead, I have to basically tell someone to stop what he's doing so that I can be babysat. I take a deep breath.

If I have to bother people for something so trivial I'm going to stretch it a bit so it doesn't seem that way. I head upstairs to ask Patty if she'd like to go out to lunch with me.

I knock on her door and she looks up from her laptop computer. She says that a lunch out sounds good, but she might slip out for twenty minutes or so to get some things at the pharmacy down the road.

I look at her, "tampons?"

She responds, "Yeah. I have a couple left, but I'll need more. I figured that I'd zip on down to the store and be back here before anyone could complain too much."

I laugh. "First thing you should know: If you get in your car without an escort, one of the Weres in the woods will change to human form and get in with you. He will not be clothed."

Patty's eyes widen. "I thought Eric was kidding about that."

I look at her sideways. "No. Eric would not kid about that. The other thing: Eric would give you holy hell if you tried to leave without protection." I smile at her, "I was planning a stop at the pharmacy too." We chuckle. I raise a brow, "would it be okay with you if I invite Jason? He's on this protective streak right now and I don't want him to think that I'm shutting him out or anything."

Patty swallows, "He's not Dermot. I know that. I'll deal with it." Something about her tone makes me want to dip into her head.

"Alright, I'll go call Alcide." I start down the stairs as I take a peek into her thoughts.

Patty is thinking that she can either choose to blame me or to thank me. If she blames me for her current vampire-owned state she will not like me and that takes up too much energy and does no good for anybody. If she thanks me then she is choosing to see the positive in this mess; if I hadn't gone up to her in Fangtasia she would likely be dead right now. Patty prefers alive to dead.

She also thinks about the night of the announcement, when I said that she was family. Patty thinks it was so sweet and she's starting to think of me as a long lost sister or cousin. In her family, people rallied together if there was trouble. If someone is after me then Patty is sticking with me as much as she can. Aw. Now I have to worry about her too?

When I am downstairs I tell Jason that Patty and I are going out to lunch and that he is welcome to join us. We'll stop at the pharmacy while we're out too.

Jason is nervous around the flame thrower but figures that if she can be near him then he can be near her.

I call Alcide. He'll be here within the half hour.

Alcide arrives with another Were named Gene. Gene has a build similar to Alcide's but has spiky pitch-black hair.

We take the Lexus since my car can fit three humans in the back and two Weres in the front, and has extra security features.

Our first stop is the drug store. I pick out a baby shower card and pick two different gift wraps. I get the tampons and toiletries that I'll need with Alcide no more than a yard a way the entire time. Jason isn't too far either.

Near the front of the store I see Patty looking at lighters with Gene standing next to her.

Our shopping does not take long and we're back in the car not long after getting out.

Our next stop is the Bon Temps café. They serve good old southern style meals at a good price. It's not much to look at; the drinks are served in plastic cups, most meals are served in baskets or on plastic trays like the ones we had back in high school. The place is old but clean and has pictures of Bon Temps over the years hanging on the walls.

We walk inside and the place is busy. There is one table open; it is a large round table in a corner near the front window. The guards are not happy with this table but make the most out of it. I sit in the corner, near the window but not in front of it. Alcide sits to my right where he can monitor the activity out the window. Jason sits to my left. Gene is next to Jason; he can see out the window in the direction opposite Alcide and me. Gene can also watch the main door. Patty is between Gene and Alcide.

As we settle at a table I can hear the murmur of the patrons change. Even without listening in on their thoughts, I know they're thinking about us; me in particular.

We order our drinks and I make an effort to focus on the people at the table. Gene notices that Jason and Patty are uneasy with each other; this is why I have to sit between them in the car. Yeah, I know; I'm also the smallest one. Patty sees his eyes going back and forth and tells him that Jason looks like the guy that killed her fiancé. Jason then tells Gene that Patty can do some scary shit. That makes her feel a bit better and everyone smiles. Given that we're in public, Gene does not ask what it is that Patty can do.

Jason asks Patty where she is from since her accent is not from around here. She tells us that she's from Pacific Beach, California. Gene says that there are a lot of weres out that way and asks if she knows any.

Patty says, "I only know three two-natured people that I'm aware of; my boss, my best friend and another good friend."

Jason asks, "Were you shocked to learn that your best friend was two-natured the night of the Second Revelation."

She chuckles. "No, I knew by then" The Weres at the table are interested that a two-natured person outed himself to a human before the Second Revelation. Patty explains, "I grew up hearing the stories my whole life but I never believed them. The night that the vampires came out, Warren was over at my place... I told him that my grandmother used to tell the most ridiculous stories and that now I was thinking that maybe they weren't all stories... He assured me that my grandmother was not crazy and then told me about himself... It was really hard to deny her stories after that."

I ask her, "Have you talked to Warren lately? He must have been worried."

Patty says, "Yeah, he was. We talked for a bit earlier today. He's happy that I'm safe, pissed that I belong to a vamp, amused that I'm related to a vamp and cannot wait for me to come back to California."

Jason says, "Sounds like he really likes you."

She laughs, "Only as a friend. Well, more than that I guess. He's more like an adopted brother."

Alcide raises a brow, "men are rarely friendly with women without motive." Jason and Gene nod their heads in agreement.

Patty shakes her head, "It's not like that with us."

Jason asks, "Is he gay?"

Patty responds, "No and I think Lucy would be pissed that you'd think such a thing."

I know I'm curious, "Who's Lucy?"

Patty tells us, "Lucy is Warren's wife. I met her in college and once I got to know her I knew that she and Warren would hit it off."

Before more is added to this train of thought our meals come out. The dishes they're served on are cheap, but the food smells and looks heavenly.

As we eat we learn a bit about each other. Gene is working on a degree in Criminal Justice. Alcide plans to start a scholarship in Maria-Star's name; Maria-Star Cooper, Alcide's mate was murdered. Jason is saving up to go to Cancun with some buddies; he needs to get away from here for a while.

I tell Alcide that the test kit is ready; all I have to do is send it out to Dr. Ludwig. Alcide will be at an event tonight and the good doctor will be there as well; he'd be happy to bring it to her for me. Gene looks interested but doesn't ask.

Patty offers, "I'm told that the thousand year old Viking is my ancestor. Some people would like scientific evidence." She glares at me.

I counter, "You want that too. You do not believe that..." I whisper, "The Ancient Pythoness speaks the truth."

Gene's eyes bug out for a moment.

Alcide asks Patty, "How are things with Quinn?"

Patty very quickly responds, "Fine." We all look at her. We expect to hear more. She tells us, "Mr. Quinn has been accommodating... I have access to the same things here that I do back at my home office." She takes a breath. "I just hope that I can get out of taking on new contracts so that I can get back to my home office."

Alcide looks at me as if to ask me if my vampire is to blame. I shrug and nod my head to indicate that I think he is responsible.

We're finished eating and I ask for the bill. Thirty-five dollars and change for a group of five adults is really good. The others in the group begin to pull out their wallets but I tell them, "no." I invited Patty and Jason to join me. Alcide and Gene are working; I do not expect them to pay. Besides, it seems that I'm married to a man with money and I'll have to get used to that. I put money on the table for our bill and leave a nice tip.

As we leave the café, Alcide exits first. He is followed by Patty. I come out behind her. Suddenly I'm aware of someone racing toward me. He's too close for me to get away and he's got something in his hand. Whatever the object is doesn't register in my mind. Someone grabs me and turns me away from the attacker. I hear a thud and a groan.

Gene lets me go and I turn to see. A man is on his back. Patty has his knife in her hands. The man tells her, "Kill me. Bitch! Common, I know where I'm going when I die and it'll be splendid. There won't be the likes of you there..." He tries to spit on Patty while laying flat on his back. "Serving vampires and their whores..."

Patty kicks him in the ribs and he yowls. She spits, "don't you dare call her a whore." Alcide pulls Patty away from the man reminding her that we're in public.

The man hollers and yells obscenities until the police come. Alcide all but threatens Jason to not punch or kick the guy either. They all want a go at the fucker, but we're in public and we could be arrested ourselves if we're not careful.

Once the police come they take a statement from each of us and arrest the man for attempted homicide. The officers tell us that everything he is saying and what we have reported is plenty of evidence to write it up as a hate crime. None of us should be surprised if law enforcement comes by with some more questions in the next day or so.

The ride back to Bon Temps is quiet. No one speaks until we are back at the house.

Once we're inside, Alcide turns to Patty. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Patty pulls back. "Uh... you're welcome."

Alcide looks at her in the eyes, "You could have gotten yourself killed with that stunt. When your life is in danger you need to follow direction, not act like you're GI Jane."

Patty opens and closes her mouth trying to figure out what to say. "I'm not sorry that I disarmed him and set his sorry ass on the pavement." Alcide glares at her, "I'm sorry if it put me or Sookie in more danger. It's just... I had to react. I didn't think about it, I just did it."

Alcide asks, "Were you ever in the military?"

Patty smiles, "No. All of the men on my father's side had some military training. My father spent over twenty years in the Marines." Gene and Alcide look at her. "They taught me how to defend myself."

Jason and I look at one another and at Patty. We both know that they taught Patty to defend herself after Freddy Thomas.

Alcide speaks to Patty with a serious tone, "We were lucky today. You didn't get yourself killed and I don't have to explain your death. Eric Northman put your safety and Sookie's safety in my hands during the day. When it comes to safety, you need to listen to me."

Patty swallows and nods her head, "Fine." She looks up at Alcide then to me, and says, "I found something in the pharmacy that you might like to see." Patty goes to her bag of merchandise and pulls out a rag sheet. "God's Holy Light."

There is an article about wayward humans. These humans are so taken in by the vampires that there is no saving them in this world. A number of humans are named and there are pictures to go with the story. Many of the humans are women that live with a vampire sort of like the bunnies at Hugh Hefner's estate. There is a pregnant woman whose husband is vampire... What? How? He got her pregnant before he was turned. Oh. There is a stock broker paving his way to hell spending his time with the brunette vampire. There is a barmaid that is engaged to marry one of the world's oldest, cruelest, most vicious vampires... There is a picture of me at Merlotte's! I can't read anymore.

Jason looks at the rag sheet and speaks to no one in particular. "No one really reads this stuff. It's bullshit."

Gene says, "Jason, that ass wipe of paper there is sold throughout the country. Millions buy this shit each day."

I take a deep breath. "Eric is going to be pissed."

Alcide responds, "Aren't you? Oh, he'll be livid."

Patty's eyes go wide and she rubs her hands. She is trying to keep herself calm. Her cell phone rings and she looks at the caller ID. She says, "I have to take this. It's my boss." Patty moves into the next room. She flips open her phone with a sigh of relief and speaks with Mr. Cleander.

I use the diversion to put my things away. Before I'm done I can hear Patty's agitated voice but can't make out what she's saying.

When I return to the living room, Alcide says to Patty, "Cleander should know what is going on."

Patty crosses her arms. "I told him how the contracts are coming along. He has no right to know about my personal life."

Alcide tells her, "This way, he'll understand if you can't show up to work because someone is trying to kill you." Patty isn't buying his excuse. He nods his head and adds, "I'm also aware that Cleander is taken with you; he wants you to be safe."

Patty groans in frustration. She tells Mr. Cleander that a Were guard would like to speak with him and she hands Alcide the phone.

I thought I'd get some sun in today but I find that I'm tired. I'll take a nap. I set the alarm so that I will not over sleep and I'll have plenty of time to fix dinner and dress for work tonight. I tell the others that I'm taking a nap and head back to my comfy bed.

I wake up a bit after the alarm should have gone off. I smell... food. I walk out to investigate. The men are in the living room. I go to the kitchen; there is a large dish of lasagna cooling on the stove.

Once I'm back in the living room I look at them. Jason tells me, "You looked awfully tired, Sook. I wanted you to sleep as much as you needed. I figured we could order pizzas or something so you wouldn't have to cook."

Oh. Okay... So who cooked dinner?

Alcide seems to sense what I'm thinking. He says, "I hope you don't mind me using your kitchen. I thought you ladies might enjoy some home cooked food as opposed to take-out and Jason here was willing to go out and get what was needed."

This is certainly a surprise. There is just one thing that I can think to say, "Thank you."

I get from Gene that he is impressed with his pack master and didn't know until tonight that he could cook.

Alcide says to me, "If you ladies want to change before heading out tonight you should probably start eating soon so you'll have plenty of time."

"Oh. Okay." I point my thumb back toward the stairs. "Let me just go up and get Patty."

Gene hops up. "I'll do it." Before I can say a thing he's heading up the stairs.

I raise a brow as I watch Gene go. Alcide tells me, "He's a Cleander fan."

Jason asks me what I'd like to drink and he goes to the kitchen. He starts putting drinks out for everybody and has only to ask Patty what she wants when she comes downstairs.

Alcide takes out a salad that he'd made and pulls out parmesan breadsticks that he had warm in the oven.

This is all so sweet. It bothers me though; I should be serving them. This is my house. I am the hostess. Maybe I shouldn't complain. Jason just wanted me to get some more sleep and I don't want him to feel bad about that.

While we're eating, Alcide receives many compliments on the food. Patty asks, "Is it a two-natured thing to be able to cook so well?"

Gene and Alcide laugh. Gene says, "I can boil pasta and toast bread, does that count?" We all laugh.

Patty tells us, "My best friend Warren is an excellent cook. His wife Lucy can cook too. They're both shifters. And I'm told that Mr. Cleander, my boss is a great chef... I was beginning to think that being two-natured meant that you could cook."

Gene looks at her, "So you don't really know if Cleander can cook?"

She smiles, "No. I do not."

Gene says, "I'm surprised. I hear that he often invites his Events Coordinators to dinner at his place. It's a great way to foster a good report."

Patty responds, "Well I've only had that position with the company for a little more than a year. He did invite Tim and me to dinner at his place a couple of times but it didn't work out." We look at her. "My cousin Phoebe died in an apartment fire. She was the last one from my mother's side of the family. The next time we were invited, I got sick so Cleander paid us a visit. Part of me thinks that he thought I was faking... I had food poisoning." She takes a deep breath. "It was horrifying. I couldn't control my body, I was afraid to leave the bathroom and my boss was in the living room talking to Tim... He told Tim to make me eat some of the soup that he had brought." We look at her. Patty says, "Eventually I tried some of the soup. I was weary of eating much because nothing was staying down, but the soup did. It was good too... Given the track record I don't know if I want to get a third invitation."

Jason tells her, "Things are always supposed to be better the third time around."

Patty presses her lips together and raises her eyebrows, "Yeah."

I take a peek inside her head. Patty is afraid that the third time would work out. She was relieved that the first two didn't though she wished that they hadn't worked out for different reasons. Patty felt drawn to Cleander when she was near him and she knew that he liked her. Patty could not allow herself to be too close to him; she was engaged to Tim... Tim isn't here anymore but she had promised herself to him. Without Tim here physically it will take a lot more will-power to cope. After looking in her head, I'm certain that even Patty isn't aware of how much she truly likes the guy.

We finish eating. Patty and I start to clean up but Gene tells us that he's got it; we should use the time to get ready for tonight. Wow. It's like I'm Queen for a night.

Patty and I both go to our rooms to get ready. I shower and put on lotion then I go into the room and put on a gorgeous red dress that I know my Viking likes. I realize what time it is and that I haven't moved the boxes off of the door.

I lock my bedroom door and open the closet. Eric could easily move these boxes while opening the door, but it would be very noisy and call attention to his space. I open a window and let in the cool night air.

I look at my shoes deciding which to wear when a pair of arms wrap around me. I squeal with delight. Eric says for the benefit of the Weres on the other side of the door, "It is a good thing that the house is charmed or someone else might have come through that window just now." He kisses me.

Eric wants to know why clothed guards are in the house. I tell him that a couple of things happened today and they no doubt want to tell him in person. He raises a brow.

I tell him, "Someone tried to attack me outside of Bon Temps Café... and there is an article in some rag sheet with my name and picture."

Eric goes to the living room to get the report from Alcide while I put on and fasten my shoes for the evening. I put in the diamond thread earrings that Eric gave me.

As I head out to the living room, Eric passes me and goes upstairs. He opens the door and Patty starts, "What if I wasn't dressed?"

Eric calmly responds, "Then you would be naked and would surely remember in the future that when I say to be dressed by the time I rise that I mean it."

Patty is defensive, "As you can see, I'm ready to go. There was no need to barge in."

Eric is calm but an undercurrent of anger is in his voice. "No. There was no need to barge in. Tell me, if I were here to harm you or Sookie would you attempt to disarm me or flip me on my back?" There is no answer. Eric continues and speaks to her with a level tone. "We are lucky that he was a mere human. If he was a supe, you would not be alive right now. In the future, let your Were guard protect you. Only get involved if the guard is dead or incapacitated."

The last thing I hear is Patty saying, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Eric shuts the door. Jason, Gene and I look at one another.

On their way down the stairs I catch from Patty's head that she's caught between hating Eric more and admiring him more.

Satisfied that his big Viking brother in law is here, Jason takes off.

We leave for Fangtasia. Eric drives the Lexus with me next to him and Patty in the back. Behind us are Alcide and Gene.

I want to know why our guards are still with us. "Eric, why are Alcide and Gene still following us around? Aren't they supposed to be our day guards?"

He glances my way and then turns back to the road. "They will leave us once we're back at Fangtasia and have a vampire guard." I look at him, that doesn't make me feel good and he knows it. Eric explains, "That rag sheet... many of the anti-supe organizations use it as a sort of hit list. The Fellowship of the Sun is only one such group. There are many more just like it and now they all know your name, where you work and that you're engaged to me." He puts a hand on my leg. "I'm sorry Sookie, but you have to have guards near you at all times; and that can never change now."

I swallow, "I'm that big of a target?"

My Viking isn't pulling any punches. "Yes. The percentage of people that are murdered or go missing after being the subject of interest in that rag is very high."

During the rest of the trip to Fangtasia I can't help but think how my life keeps changing. I want to go see Hunter and Remy but it's still too dangerous. I like seeing Sam, Holly, D'Eriq, Antoine and some of the others when I go to work. Working there makes me feel as normal as I ever will; but what if someone tries to hurt me and gets one of them?

Once we're in Fangtasia, Patty and I go to the booth while Eric, Pam, the Were guards and three others go into the office.

Our waitress tonight, Jeannette, brings our drinks and is very polite. Even though she smiles and is pleasant, her eyes look dark and troubled. I peek inside to see what is going on.

Jeannette is hoping to speak to Mr. Northman about working more hours. He and Pam are great to work for and she will have an excuse to not go home.

I ask Jeannette what time she gets off work tonight and she says that she'll be here at least until two.

Jeannette hopes to find a reason to stay longer than that. She is always thinking of reasons not to go home. She'd go back to the shelter but Bruce's mother works there. I see what she is so afraid of; no wonder she doesn't want to go home.

Eric comes out onto the floor as does everyone else. The two Weres leave. Eric asks me what the problem is and I tell him that it's best said in private.

We go into the office and I tell him that his waitress Jeannette wants to work more hours. She wants to work more so that she will be at home less. Her husband beats her. He has put her in the hospital a couple of times, including when she was pregnant. A relative has custody of the little girl. Jeannette has gone to the shelter for battered wives before, but the director is her mother in law.

Eric knows this upsets me terribly and he comes over to soothe me and kiss my forehead. He tells me that Jeannette is a good employee and that he takes care of those in his retinue.

He then changes the subject, "Do you wish to negotiate now? Or, do you expect to be fully awake by the time we close?"

I take a deep breath. "I expect to give your plan a chance."

Eric raises a brow. He tests our bond and then smiles. "What brought this about?" I look down. Eric is persistent. "Well?"

I growl a little, "Blame your descendent."

His smile grows, "Patty? I must thank her." My predatory smile comes back. No good deed goes unpunished, Patty.

He strokes my arm. "I know that much has happened lately..."

I look up at him. "It's not safe for me to keep working at Merlotte's, is it?"

Eric gently holds my chin. "No Dear One, it is not." He draws me to him and hugs me. I can't help but feel like someone is dying or has died. Waitressing at Merlotte's was the only job that I had for any length of time.

How many people cry because they are quitting a job? Eric says, "I'll call Sam first thing tomorrow." He looks at me.

I respond, "No, Eric. I want to do this in person." I sigh. "I suppose I should be thankful to have a dead Viking that can pay my bills because that ability is flying right out the window." Eric lowers his head and narrows his eyes. I amend my speech. "I should be thankful that we have enough money to pay our bills?"

Eric responds, "Better." He kisses me again and says, "I'll be out in a while." I head back to our booth.

Before I make it to the booth I make a detour to the host's podium. I inform the door attendant who the minors are in line. On the way back, a woman bumps into me and asks me something but I don't understand what the hell she is saying. She is speaking English...

One look into her brain tells me that she is selling ecstasy and buyers know what to say to her weird little speech. I alert Pam. The woman is taken back into the office and is questioned. I read from her head that she thought Fangtasia would be a great spot to sell her supply; none of her competitors are here. Her drugs are confiscated and she is sent off the premises with directions to never come back.

Back at the table I see Patty fidgeting. I don't ever see her do that. I ask her, "Is everything okay?"

I get from her body language that she wants to say something but doesn't want others to hear. I tell her, "Just think about it." She exhales and rolls her eyes, knowing that I'm going to look at her thoughts.

Patty has spent a lot of time with Pam lately. A good part of each night is spent with Patty throwing fire and manipulating it with Pam encouraging her. Pam has also bitten Patty several times now... and it's not altogether unpleasant.

There is a part of Patty that looks forward to being near Pam. Pam can be fun to hang with and her touch sometimes makes Patty feel things that she should only feel with a guy... but, she tells herself, guys are no longer an option for her since Tim is gone. How can she think of a girl like that? Is she turning lesbian? Can vampires do that to a person?

Patty is thinks that she would not have such thoughts about Pam if Cleander were near. "Oh god, I can't think about him either." Patty now thinks about how he is so kind, to everyone, and not just to her. She can't help but think that he is funny and sexy. Patty could stare into those eyes for ages and never tire of looking at them... his mouth looks so inviting, surely she would melt into jelly with a kiss from him... "What the hell am I thinking?" She tells herself that she will never be with a man, she knows that. She hastily thinks to herself that she will never ever be with a girl either.

Patty looks up at me trying her best to not look as embarrassed as she feels. I tell her, "It only magnifies what is already there."

She shakes her head in disbelief. Patty never had feelings for a girl before. How could vampire blood magnify something that wasn't there?

The place is pretty quiet tonight. Not literally speaking, of course. I mean that there aren't a lot of people trying to kill us or do illegal activity tonight; it's quiet in that regard.

Ray the busboy clears a table nearby. I can tell by the look on his face that he is happy to work here. When I dip into his head, he's thinking that he cannot believe how well Fangtasia pays its employees. If he hadn't had to quite college to find full time work, he'd never have known about this place. People might think that vampires are evil, but Ray thinks they are a god send. Thanks to this job he has medical benefits that extend to his sick son and they have money to pay their bills. He sees me looking at him. He smiles and then quickly ducks his head; he doesn't want anyone thinking that he's flirting with the boss' lady.

I see a young woman filling out some papers near the bar. When I see Pam I ask her about the person. Pam tells me that Tabitha is applying for a job here as a waitress. I dip into Tabitha's mind for a few minutes and tell Pam that she might want to rip up the application. Tabitha was fired for stealing from the register at the last place she worked. She figures that since her boss never pressed charges that she's in the clear, no one will ever know.

Patty looks at me. "I bet you'd be excellent as a Human Resources representative, Personnel Director, or whatever they call it around here. Who better to hire a person than someone who knows their real motives?"

I chuckle. "Maybe, but most places want someone with a business degree. At the very least, they want someone with experience."

Pam smirks, "Did you not run the shifters bar when he ran off to Texas?"

I look at her sideways, "That was for a few days Pam." Boy was I happy when it was over!

Eric comes out and asks us what we're discussing.

Pam reports, "Your barn thinks that Sookie is management material. I agree. Sookie has already given me insight on one applicant tonight. We will not be hiring her."

Eric beams at them. "Sookie is good at whatever comes her way." He turns to me. "I could use someone in that position. I handle most personnel issues myself, it would be a great help to have a trusted person to take over that role." He tilts his head. "There would also be the benefit of me knowing that you are safe. If anyone here gives you a problem he'll be banned from my area for a minimum of one year, if he survives my encounter."

This is sounding an awful lot like a job proposal.

My big Viking tells me, "Think about it. Tomorrow night I'll have the job requirements spelled out so that you can read it over Monday."

I don't know if working for my husband is a good idea. Okay, technically I'm doing that now... but this deal was set up a long time ago... I tell Eric, "Okay, I'll read it over on Monday and then I will tell you what I think."

The bar closes and everybody cleans up. I tell Eric and Pam about the appreciative busboy. Eric says it's all part of his system. He treats his employees well and pays them well; they work hard and are loyal in return. What can I say? The system works; for the most part.

Before we separate, Eric tells Pam and Patty that we're staying in Shreveport tonight. The guest room is ready for Patty and I know how to get us in and out during the day.

Pam and Patty head off together for a few hours while Eric and I head toward our Shreveport home.

I drink a glass of water and take a Midol. Eric looks at me. I tell him that it helps with things. He wants me to tell him what things. What guy wants to know this stuff? I tell him it helps with the backache, headache, bloating and cramps. Cramps are the worst of my symptoms.

He tells me to get ready for bed; he'll join me in a few minutes.

I use the restroom, wash my face, brush my teeth and then change into my nightgown.

When I come out, Eric kisses me and inhales deeply. He closes his eyes as if he is savoring a fine wine. He draws me to the bed and leaves me standing as he turns off the lights.

It is pitch-black. "Hey, I can't see a thing!"

The smile can be heard in his voice. "I know."

Eric moves the comforter and the sheets on the bed; I can hear them moving. He then comes to me and lifts my nightgown. Before I can sit on the bed he pulls down my panties for me to step out. He lays me on the bed, the bottom sheet feels different. It feels soft.

My vampire toys with my neck and nibbles at my ear then whispers something in a language known only to him. He latches onto a breast and I feel a rush of warmth below. Please God, don't let it by my period; let it start tomorrow.

Eric kisses a trail down my body and ends at my center. I can't let Eric do this now. What if I start bleeding? Before I can protest, I feel his tongue and fingers working me... What am I worried about? I don't remember... I can't think while he's...

I feel around for something to grab. If I can't hold myself down I'm gonna shoot to the moon! That is, if I don't combust first.

Eric chuckles as he climbs up. Finally I have something to hold onto. I cling to him as he sucks my breast and enters me. All thought leaves my brain once again.

This must be what jelly feels like. I'm jelly. Jelly feels good.

I hear Eric go into the bathroom. I want to get up and clean myself but I can't get myself to move. Eric tells me not to bother; he's got it. He rubs my body with a wet cloth.

When he's done, he climbs back in and tells me to go to sleep already. The last thing I remember is his kiss on my head with his arms wrapped around me.