Star Trek XV – Now and Forever
Chapter Eight
Without anyone needing to ask her, Yeoman Rand was the first to reach out for little Jimmy, taking him in her arms as Dr McCoy dropped the tricorder on the floor and, if that wasn't a clear enough sign that something was horribly wrong, he dragged Carol out of the chair placing her supine on the ground trying to be as careful as he could. It was only then that Kirk reacted and looking at his son, he ordered the Yeoman to, 'take him away: I don't want him to see this.'
'Yes, sir,' she replied quickly taking the boy as far as she could.
'Her heart's stopped,' Dr McCoy announced confirming Kirk's worst fears.
'Bones…'
The doctor ignored him, looking around for his kit looking gratefully at Uhura when she handed it over to him. Working fast, he prepared a hypo-spray, inserting a large canister in it. Once this was ready, he lowered the collar of Carol's jersey as far as it would go and without wasting time, he pressed the hypo-spray right above her heart. Discarding it, he started performing a CPR massage.
'Bones…'
'Quiet Jim,' the doctor ordered him as he mentally counted the times he pressed down, 'come on, Carol,' he tried encouraging her, 'don't you give up now.' After an interminably long minute, the tired doctor retrieved his tricorder and started scanning her with it. it wasn't until several seconds later that, sounding just a teensy bit relieved, he said, 'her vitals are back.'
'Thank God,' someone from the bridge couldn't help but to say.
'She's not out of the woods yet,' McCoy told Kirk sounding even more serious than usual, 'I need to get her to Medical so that I can run more tests to figure out what's happening to her.'
'Of course,' Kirk replied and without needing to be asked, he scooped her up in his arms.
'Okay,' the doctor said then, glancing at Spock, he added, 'you too, I want you all checked up stat.'
'Doctor, I assure you…'
'No,' McCoy stopped him, 'I just ran out of damns to give so, you get your Vulcan ass to Medical this precise instant or so help me God,' he threatened him while he and Kirk rushed to the turbolift.
Being left with no other choice, the Vulcan found a very worried Scotty.
'Take the conn,' Spock ordered him, 'and arrange the transportation of the Klingon prisoners to a more suitable location.'
'Yes, sir,' the Chief Engineer promptly replied.
Spock only wasted one more instant while he exchanged a quick glance with Uhura who limited herself to follow him with her eyes. Then, other than the occasional electronic beeps, the only sound they could hear on the bridge was Yeoman Rand's soft voice as she tried to soothe poor little Jimmy.
Down at Medical and while the doctors and nurses worked on a still unconscious Carol and Dr Kaori Kitagawa took care of Spock's not-so-slight injuries, for once in his life, Kirk did what he'd been told.
He was obediently sitting down in Dr McCoy's office when Yeoman Rand came in bringing Jimmy with her.
'Captain,' she said, 'I'm sorry to bother you but...the boy…'
Looking up, a still confounded Kirk managed to see that his son was staring at him intently.
'Give him to me,' he asked her without getting up from the chair.
'Sure,' she hurried to say then, handing him the small child, she asked, 'is there anything you need?'
'Only his mother,' Kirk replied with brutal honesty.
'Of course,' the Yeoman replied, 'I hope she gets well soon, sir.'
'Me too, Janice,' he replied, 'me too…'
With Rand gone, Kirk was left alone with his son for the first time. At first, the two of them just studied each other with an equal mix of curiosity and fascination. Kirk found it hard to believe that he could have created such a wonder and, in spite of all the angst he felt, he couldn't help but to curve his lips into a smile as he stared at those sparkling blue eyes so similar to his own.
'Hello,' he finally said, 'are you hungry?'
The boy nodded his head once without taking his eyes off him.
'Do you like apples?' Kirk tried.
'Yep,' Jimmy replied, 'apples are yummy.'
'Yes, they are,' Kirk agreed, his smile widening a bit more, 'let's see if we can get this replicator to make one for us,' he said getting up from the chair. He made it to the food processor and, after pressing a series of buttons he knew like the back of his hand, he obtained a shiny red apple.
Taking it, he selected one of the knives kept in a small drawer by the replicator and, sitting back down on the chair, he settled Jimmy on his lap before he started carefully peeling the apple. He usually wouldn't have bothered but, he guessed, kids as young as his son would not be okay with eating the skin.
'Gimme, gimme,' the boy suddenly said making a grabbing gesture with his tiny hands.
'Wait a moment,' Kirk said laughing softly, 'I'm nearly done.'
The boy frowned a little as if he wasn't happy with that answer and that made Kirk hurry up.
'Here,' he said after he'd finished cutting the apple in perfect little wedges, 'it's ready.'
The boy didn't need to be asked twice and, grabbing one of the pieces, he brought it to his mouth eating it so quickly he immediately went for a second one. Kirk had read somewhere that small children shouldn't eat too fast so he kept the rest of the apple away and asked the boy to slow down.
'It'll hurt your tummy,' he explained to his son.
'No, no hurt tummy,' the boy said shaking his head.
'Yes, it will,' Kirk insisted, 'Jimmy, do as I say, I'm your…'
He stopped himself just before he blurted it out wondering if he was allowed to tell him the truth. With a pang, he realised that the boy wasn't even aware of the bond that tied them together and, right at that moment, Kirk found himself not knowing what to do about this weird situation.
'More,' the boy asked clearly unaware of his father's dilemma.
'Yeah,' Kirk said offering his son one more piece of apple.
Half an hour later, with the boy fed and after he'd drank an entire glass of water, a content Jimmy had fallen asleep in his arms giving Kirk the time he needed to try and come up with what was the most important decision of his entire life.
'Hey,' he heard Dr McCoy's voice sounding oddly soft, 'is he sleeping?'
'Yeah,' Kirk replied in an equally hushed tone.
The doctor didn't say anything else. Instead, he went to the cabinet where he kept his emergency supply of bourbon. Kirk watched him pour a couple of glasses not even bothering to get some ice.
'Here,' McCoy said offering him one.
'Bones…'
His best friend took a long gulp of liqueur before he let himself drop on the chair behind his desk.
'Bones, please…'
'Carol's going to be okay,' he finally announced tiredly, 'eventually.'
'What do you mean?' Kirk asked feeling faint with relief.
'Those damned Klingons,' McCoy complained, 'they really are crafty with their torture techniques.'
Kirk took a swing of his own glass before he was brave enough to ask:
'What did they do to her?'
'As far as I can tell,' the doctor replied, 'they used the same tool that did a number on you a few years ago. Her bones were full of microfractures and her muscular fibres were pretty much fried. To be honest, I have no idea how she managed to run the way she did,' he said, 'well, I do,' he then corrected himself while staring at the sleeping little boy, 'it was her motherly instinct which kept her going and what ultimately saved her life.'
'What do you mean?' Kirk asked again.
'Those bastards injected something in her,' Dr McCoy replied, 'I don't know what it was but I know what it did: it slowed down the heart rate to a lethal point forcing her to keep herself stressed so that the adrenaline would prevent her from going into arrest. It's an excellent way to keep someone on their toes, if it wasn't because once the person finally relaxes, their heart pretty much stops.'
Hearing this made Kirk down the entire glass.
'She'll be okay,' the doctor assured him seeing this, 'we're cleansing her blood making sure the drug is gone and we're healing her bones and the lacerations we found on her skin. Other than that, she just needs a lot of rest, peace and quiet.'
Kirk glanced at his best friend unable to utter a single word.
'Jim,' McCoy said for him, 'she had a lucky escape. If you hadn't found her when you did, she would have probably died within minutes. I know I never say things like this but, you were right to hurry.'
'Thanks,' the Captain finally managed.
'Now,' the doctor continued, 'what are you going to do about the little one?'
'I'm not sure,' Kirk said, 'to be honest I don't even know how to tell him who I am to him.'
'Keep it simple,' McCoy advised, seeing Kirk's disbelieving look, he added, 'kids are not as complicated as us adults, if we just tell them something is this or that way, they'll accept it and move on. Trust me: just get Carol to introduce you as his father and he'll gladly give you the job.'
'Speaking of,' Kirk said sounding very serious, 'I'm thinking I should resign my commission.'
'What?'
'Hear me out,' the Captain begged him.
'No,' McCoy refused, 'I know what you're going to say and let me save you the trouble because it's bullshit,' he continued before Kirk could open his mouth to protest, 'you don't want to be an absent father and you think that's what you'd be if you were to continue your job as this ship's CO but, let me enlighten you, you wouldn't be the first, nor the last, Starfleet CO who has young kids growing up away from them.'
'But…'
'What do you think would have happened to your family if your father had survived the Kelvin?'
Kirk raised his eyebrows as if he'd just seen McCoy's point, in spite of that, he still tried to argue:
'Let me ask you one thing: wouldn't you want to spend more time with your daughter?'
McCoy shook his head firmly before he answered:
'Not really. As much as I hate to admit it, the ex-wife is doing a much better job at parenting her than I ever did. Jim, I'm not going to lie to you, even when I lived with them, I still spent most of the time away working. If it wasn't the hospital, I'd be on some convention or whatnot. The truth is, it would be a miracle if I spent more than a few hours a week at home. You know it was one of the many reasons why the ex asked for the damned divorce.'
'I know,' Kirk confirmed.
'I'm not going to tell you what to do,' McCoy said, 'but I can tell you that this is not something you can decide on your own. Talk to Carol, ask her what she thinks and, if you two want to give it a go…'
'What if it doesn't work out?' Kirk asked him.
'Then,' McCoy replied, 'you can always resign your commission, give up your ship and buy a freaking farm if that's what makes you happy. But I don't think that's what's going to happen, is it?'
Kirk thought about it carefully then, he shook his head and said:
'No, probably not.'
'Okay,' McCoy said, 'now I need to rest for a bit so, why don't you two go and sit with her for a bit?'
'Are you kicking us out?' Kirk asked him with a smirk.
'Yes,' McCoy replied, 'it's been a long day and you know I get cranky if I don't get enough sleep.'
'Yeah, because usually you're so full of sunshine,' Kirk laughed while carefully getting up.
'Get out,' the doctor ordered him.
Kirk grinned at his best friend and, before he stepped out of the room, he turned round and said:
'Thanks, Bones.'
'You're welcome, kiddo,' McCoy replied.
With a still sleeping Jimmy held firmly in his arms, Kirk walked out of the doctor's office and to the sector in Medical where they had the few private rooms for the most important and/or complicated patients. Through the only partially obscured window in room number one, he saw a worried looking Uhura watching over an unconscious Spock. This sight gave Kirk a strong sense of déjà-vu but, brushing it off, he let himself in the room trying to be as quiet as possible.
'Hey,' he whispered at the Communications Officer to warn her of his presence.
'Captain…' she said going to get up from the chair.
'At ease,' he told her still whispering, 'I just wanted to check on him. Is he going to be alright?'
'Yes, sir,' Uhura replied, 'Dr Kitagawa said he was lucky this time but since the connection between mind and body in a Vulcan is as strong as it is fragile when compromised, she told us it's important Spock restores that balance with a short healing trance.'
'It is,' Kirk concurred. He stared at his bondmate for a moment and then, he returned his gaze to Uhura, 'please,' he asked her, 'look after him: he deserves all the love he can get.'
'I know,' she said looking a little teary.
'I'll leave him to your care then,' Kirk said and Uhura got the distinct impression he wasn't talking just about this specific time of need but, rather, that the Captain was entrusting Spock to her.
'Yes, sir,' she said accepting the mission.
'Thank you, Nyota,' he said allowing himself to use her first name for the first time…ever.
'You're welcome, Jim,' she replied returning the favour.
The Captain just nodded and offering her a brief smile, he walked out of the room taking Jimmy with him. Uhura realised a split second too late that she had not asked about Dr Marcus and was about to get up to go after Kirk when a sound coming from Spock's biobed got her attention.
'Nyota…' she heard him calling her.
'Spock,' Uhura replied settling back on her chair, 'why did you wake up?'
'The healing process,' he replied, 'is complete.'
'Really?' she said sounding a tad sceptical.
'I am fully recovered,' he assured her, 'my injuries were minor and Dr Kitagawa's healing was most effective. Her knowledge in terms of Vulcan physiology is commendable for someone…'
'Human?' she ventured.
'Yes,' he replied honestly then, after a moment of silence, he asked, 'to what do I owe the honour?'
'What honour?' she asked him back.
'Your presence by my side,' he replied, 'it is as surprising as it is welcome.'
Uhura stared at him for a moment as if she couldn't believe what she had heard. Then, shaking her head once, she tried to arm herself with the courage she would need to provide him with an answer.
'You know…' she started hesitantly, 'er…I…'
'Perhaps I can…'
'No,' Uhura stopped him, 'please don't interrupt me, I'm…I know what I want to say I just…I don't know if I can find the right way to express it. I…I'm trying to come up with the right words and…'
'Nyota,' he said doing precisely what she had asked him not to do, 'you are this ship's Chief Communications Officer, if anyone is capable of gathering her thoughts and conveying them in the most appropriate manner, that person is you.'
'Thanks for the confidence,' she said sounding vaguely sarcastic.
'My trust in you has never faltered,' he told her oblivious to it.
'Hasn't it?' she asked him nonetheless.
'Never,' he assured her.
This took her aback but then, it also gave her the push she needed to start her speech:
'My trust in myself did falter, Spock. Back when we were together, it was always clear to me that there was something missing in the relationship but I thought it was our massive cultural differences that left a gap. But then Kirk showed up in our lives and suddenly, the gap got wider and wider until one day, when I realised that Kirk was to you what I had always been trying to be,' she paused for a moment before she continued, 'I was so jealous of Carol, and so angry at her too. Why could she be with Kirk when he was clearly bonded to you? How could she settle for that? I simply did not understand and I felt betrayed because as a fellow woman, her accepting of this situation cheapened our relationships with you guys. Or at least, that's what I naively thought.'
Spock remained quiet, letting her carry on.
'When I found out about your t'hy'la bond with Kirk I thought I'd lost you forever,' she said, 'I thought I would never be an integral part of your life the way Kirk is. However, these past few hours what's happened to Kirk and Carol has showed me I was wrong. That I don't need to be your t'hy'la, your everything, in order to be with you. I can be your girlfriend, your wife and maybe one day, the mother of your children, the person you will grow old with and that will welcome you home when you and Kirk return from your missions. I realised that if I can be that, I will be happy with you.'
'I have been awaiting to hear these words from you,' Spock said, 'I always had faith that, one day, you would understand that my bond with Kirk does not preclude others, he is indeed my t'hy'la but you can also be my ashayam.'
'Ashayam…that's the Vulcan word for beloved,' Uhura noted.
'Precisely,' Spock replied, 'furthermore, you often told me you wished I acted more human.'
'I did,' she admitted,
'Yet you always treat me as a Vulcan,' Spock gently pointed out, 'this makes it challenging for me to produce the appropriate emotional response as my mind expects none.'
'Is this what Kirk does?' she asked him.
'Jim often forgets I am half Vulcan,' Spock replied sounding happy.
'And you like that,' it wasn't a question.
'Indeed I do,' he replied nonetheless, 'I find it makes it easier for me to…like he said…deal with my emotions, rather than repressing them. It is curious what a subtle, yet crucial difference that makes.'
Uhura nodded her agreement.
'Nyota,' he added after another quiet moment, 'perhaps you will find this premature but, considering the events in the past few days, I find myself obliged to pose you a query.'
'Go ahead.'
'I will utilise Jim's vernacular for this,' he warned her, 'would you like us to…have another go?'
Uhura felt her lips curve into a massive smile.
'I'd love to,' she said and was going to hug him but then, she stopped herself and, getting serious, she said, 'you first,' Spock looked at her seeming a tad confused but then, he understood and, sitting up on the biobed, he slowly took her in his arms before placing a kiss on her lips, 'it's the first time.'
'Pardon me?' he asked her.
'It's the first time you initiate the contact,' she clarified.
'Is this something you would encourage in the future?' he asked her.
'Yes, I would very much encourage it,' she replied honestly.
'Understood,' he simply said before kissing her again.
Uhura laughed, finding it hard to believe how such a small gesture could make her feel so incredibly happy but, closing her eyes, she let herself be engulfed by the sheer joy of being Spock's ashayam.
A few hours later, a very weak Carol woke up to the wonderful sound made by her son's happy giggling. Scanning the room with her eyes, she was surprised and utterly heart-warmed when she saw father and son sitting on the floor, playing with what looked like an old baseball. She did not want to interrupt them deciding to watch them play for a bit but then, Jimmy noticed her awake.
'Mummy!' he said getting up from the ground, instantly forgetting about the ball that was rolling towards him. Carol saw him rushing towards her biobed but he was stopped thanks to the Captain's quick reflexes and with the momentum he used to get up, he also caught the boy in his arms.
'Hey,' he said smiling at her.
'Hello,' Carol greeted him back allowing herself to get lost in those wonderful blue eyes.
'Mummy,' Jimmy said taking them out of their reverie, 'Jimmy and Daddy play ball.'
Kirk almost let go of his son and, feeling too much in shock to speak, he let Carol do it instead.
'Who told you about Daddy?' she asked her son.
'Nana,' the boy replied as if this wasn't news at all, 'Nana said Daddy work, but Daddy home now.'
'Who's nana?' Kirk finally managed to find his voice.
'My Aunt Martha,' Carol explained.
'Daddy home,' Jimmy insisted, 'Jimmy and Daddy play ball,' he repeated looking very happy.
'You like playing ball with daddy?' Carol asked him.
'Yep,' the boy replied tightening his grasp around Kirk's shoulders.
Carol grinned at Kirk first, then, looking at her son very seriously, she told him:
'But you know that Daddy cannot always be home, right? Because Daddy has an important work to do, you see?' she asked him making a slight gesture with her hand, 'this is Daddy's starship and there are a lot of people who work in this starship and, Jimmy, everyone here also needs your Daddy.'
'Jimmy knows,' the boy said looking equally serious, 'Nana said Daddy work.'
'Yes,' Kirk finally intervened, 'but that doesn't mean I can't come home every time I can, you know that, right?'
'Yep,' the boy replied.
'And you'd be okay with that?' Kirk asked him even if the question was also aimed to Carol.
'Yep,' he repeated, 'Mummy work too.'
'She does,' Kirk confirmed, 'but Mummy is also home with you.'
'And Nana,' the boy reminded them.
'And Nana,' Kirk agreed with him, then he glanced at Carol as if he was uncertain about what he'd find. She was staring at him with the sort of bravery that had made him fall in love with her and, getting closer to the biobed, he gently took her hand in his and said, 'would you be okay with this?'
'I would,' she replied.
'But Carol…'
'I know you'll find it hard to believe,' she said her voice sounding a little sad, 'but up until the Khan incident, I only had good memories of my father of when he'd come home after his missions in space. I remember those were the best days of the year and I looked forward to them.'
Kirk studied her for a moment then, careful not to drop Jimmy, he produced something out of his pocket. Carol stared at it, her eyes widening in surprise when she recognised the small black box.
'I threw it away,' he confessed, 'but Spock told me it wasn't mine to throw and I needed to keep it, just in case one day I would need it again. As usual, he was right.'
'Jim…'
'What do you think Carol?' he asked her afraid of formulating the proper question, 'can we do it?'
Carol just nodded unable to bring herself to speak.
'Hey,' Kirk asked Jimmy, 'how would you like it if Mummy and Daddy get married?'
'Okay,' the kid quickly answered even though it was obvious he hadn't understood the question.
'Well,' Kirk said trying to sound casual, 'it appears we have his blessing.'
Carol nodded again. Kirk sat down on the biobed and, giving her a quick peck, he allowed himself to enjoy having his family together for the first time in his life. He had never felt any more complete.
To be concluded…
