Chapter 9

Jack felt his heart race as he watched her walk upstairs. Elizabeth was angry and hurt, and he hated that, but they were still courting.

He vaguely remembered telling her last night that he was done with her, but he had been drunk! Surely, she knows I wouldn't end our relationship! Then he realized with a sudden jolt of fear that she was the one ending their relationship.

"Elizabeth, please wait", he pleaded as he ran up the stairs, grimacing at the pain in his ribs. Without thinking, he followed her into her bedroom.

"Jack, you shouldn't be in here!" she exclaimed.

"You don't have to say anything but please listen", he begged.

Elizabeth sat on the edge of her bed, her arms crossed, her face unyielding.

Despite her irritation, she found her mind wandering a little as Jack paced the floor. This definitely isn't how I imagined it would be the first time Jack and I were in a bedroom together . . . I always imagined he'd be--I imagined I'd be -and we would be - well, he certainly wouldn't be wearing a coat!

Stop thinking about that!. You're mad at him!, she scolded herself and shook some images out of her head.

Jack explained about the avalanche, how he had been feeling, what he had seen when he came back to town. He told her how he had drunk to numb the deaths of the Mounties and because he was angry at seeing Elizabeth in another man's arms. He explained how his jealously had been fueled by the strong medication and alcohol combination.

Unfortunately, Jack tried to minimize the danger of the avalanche, and in doing so, Elizabeth's mind became focused on Jack's jealousy.

As he talked, his words from the night before came back to her and fueled her anger. Stop lying to me . . . I know you're seeing him. . . you've been going to his home in the late evenings without Anne there. . . I wasn't around to roll around in the snow, so you found someone else . . . every man just lets you make a fool of him . . . I'm done with you. All his horrible accusations incensed her.

"I thought you were making a fool of me by carrying on with someone else." Jack's statement brought her back to the present.

"So you insulted me and pushed a man because you were worried about you being seen as a fool?" she said with disdain and fury.

"It was more than that. " Jack looked down and paused.

"You didn't even seem to mind sometimes when I left town", he finally said with hurt in his voice.

"I WAS TRYING TO BE STRONG!", she screamed.

Jack cringed at her screaming.

"I wasn't sure you were even worried about me when I was gone", he added quietly.

"Why do you think I kept so busy?!"

Jack gave her a puzzled look.

"IT WAS SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT MISSING YOU AND WORRYING ABOUT YOU GETTING HURT!", she screamed at him.

Jack cringed again.

Part of him knew that her screams were an indication that this conversation wasn't going very well at all, but the optimist in him heard otherwise.

'She loves me' was what Jack's heart heard despite Elizabeth's actual words and screams. Why else would she be worried about me, missing me, trying to be strong for me? He started to smile a little, but one look at Elizabeth quickly made him frown.

"How could you think those things of me?!" Elizabeth asked, now wiping tears from her eyes. "Do you really think I would let another man touch me in that way?"

"No, no, I don't, Elizabeth. I should never have said those things."

"After the way we've kissed and the things we've said to each other, how could even imagine that I could do that with someone else?! Do you think so little of me?"

"Elizabeth, I was just being stupid and jealous."

"You pulled away from me. You were disgusted by me", she said in disbelief as she remembered his words and actions.

"I'm so sorry. I don't remember pulling away. . . . I should have let you explain." he responded. His voice was full of grief at the way he must have acted and how he had made her feel.

"And you still think I care more about money than you?" she asked with incredulity.

"No, Elizabeth, No! I was just hurt, and angry. I didn't mean what I said. I was wrong. I know you love me", he pleaded with her to believe him.

"You said you were done with me!"

"I was drunk, Elizabeth," he said with slight exasperation.

He moved towards her. Again, he was optimistic, hoping that she would accept his embrace. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

"Can we just forget the whole evening ever happened?" he asked hopefully.

"No, we cannot, Jack. You basically called me a gold-digging tramp. No, we cannot forget the whole evening ever happened." Her pride was too hurt to forget his previous insults.

"Jack, you need to leave now." Elizabeth said quietly as she walked to the door.

As she held the door open for him, tears rolled down her cheeks.

"For your information, since the very first day I ever saw you, I have never let another man kiss me romantically, not Billy Hamilton, not Charles, and certainly not one of the Fenderson brothers. And until last night when you said those hurtful things to me, I didn't think I would ever kiss any man but you for the rest of my life. Now, I don't know what to think of you or our relationship."

"Good night, Jack. Please go home."

Jack desperately wanted to hold her, to kiss her.

"I love you, Elizabeth", he said quietly as he looked into her eyes before he walked out. He had never seen her so hurt, so angry. What worried him even more was that he sensed her uncertainty; that she was uncertain about their future.

The next morning, Jack was up before dawn. Between the pain in his ribs and the pain in his heart, he barely slept that night. He stared at Elizabeth's photo and at his sketchbook drawings of her.

Jack looked up hopefully when the door to the jail opened. His hope quickly faded when he saw it was just Rosemary.

Jack hadn't mentioned anything to Rosemary, but there was enough small town gossip for her to figure out that something was wrong.

"Jack, if you just accused her of flirting with someone, apologize and give her a little gift", she advised, as if this were a simple fix.

"Personally, I always like a piece of jewelry", she added dreamily, as she thought of some lovely pieces she had received.

When Jack didn't say anything, she noticed his guilt-ridden face.

"Oh, Jack. You didn't accuse her of something more, did you?" Rosemary asked, raising her voice in surprise.

Once again, Jack didn't say anything.

"How could you?! Elizabeth loves you. She would never do anything like that!", a shocked Rosemary exclaimed.

"Jack, I am a wonderful advice columnist, but if you accused Elizabeth of something tawdry and immoral, even I can't help you!" Rosemary said dramatically as she left.

Jack put on his coat and walked to Elizabeth's. When Elizabeth came downstairs, he was standing in the parlor.

"Jack, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you, Elizabeth" Jack implored. "Please forgive me."

"I can't do this right now. I need to get to school", Elizabeth said, her heart pounding at seeing him. How is it that this one man can make my heart race so much!?, she wondered.

"Can I walk you?"

Elizabeth just nodded.

They walked to school in silence. Elizabeth knew that if she said anything, she would start yelling or start crying; either way she would be in no shape to teach.

Jack didn't want to say anything to upset her. He was just grateful that she allowed him to walk with her.

After school, Jack was waiting for Elizabeth. She didn't call any students to walk with her, which he took as a good sign.

"Can I walk you home?"

"Yes", was all she said. It was enough for Jack.

They walked the remainder of the way home in silence.

Once again Elizabeth's heart raced from being so near Jack. Her emotions were all over the place. One moment she wanted to put her hand gently on his face, and tell him not to look so sad. The next moment, she wanted to use that same hand to slap his face.

When Jack dropped her off at her door, he looked down for a moment before gazing in her eyes. His voice was full of sadness.

"I don't ever want to fight with you again for the rest of our lives. It hurts too much."

Jack reached out his hand to touch her arm but before he made contact, she moved.

"Then maybe you should have trusted me.", Elizabeth said coldly.

She quickly went inside, and closed the door before Jack could say anything more.

Readers, there's just one chapter left, and it's the longest, and my favorite. What really set Jack off? Find out in Chapter 10, which should be posted in the next few days. Until then, you may want to re-read Chapter 1 to refresh your memory of how this vignette started.