A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the hiatus, it's been a rough semester. Anyway, thank you for the follows and favs, and thank you for not giving up on me. Oykk: I'm sorry. Get ready, there are more feels to come. Happy Doodle: Glad you enjoyed! Here's your chapter; sorry it took so long. Maracollins: Thanks. That was a hard chapter, in multiple ways. ATran: :( Sorry. TheRealAlgeri: Aww… thank you. I say go for it. I'll read it. MarieBloom14: Thanks! Jedi Knight 13: I hope that I can continue to live up to expectations. Have a chapter. sunburst223: Yeah, I agree. By the end their relationship certainly wasn't parental, except perhaps minimally. Obi-Wan was much more in that role for both of them. However, in one episode (the arc with the lemur people where Anakin got injured) she definitely referred to him as "the closest thing I have to a father," and I can't ignore that. Having thought about it, by the way, they are more than five years apart. Anakin was 19/20 in the Clone Wars Movie, and Ahsoka couldn't have been more than 12/13, particularly given that she was supposed to be younger than most padawans. Just my thoughts. Seriously though, can you imagine waking up one day and realizing you spent the last twenty years as actual Hitler? I can't even imagine how horrible that would be. Guest: chapter 2: Glad you enjoyed! Welcome, I hope you continue to read for a long time to come. chapter 5: Well, I love Rex and Anakin. :) StormieSkyeGirl: Yes, poor Ani. Hopefully he'll come around and realize things aren't quite that bad. Kondoru: That is an interesting point. And you're right; the dark side isn't going to just go away. There's the disease, and there's remission, with very little hope of a real cure. Disney Syndulla: I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART! HERE, LET ME HELP YOU! *hugs* Wicked R: chapter 1: Glad you enjoyed! Guest: Here it is! Sorry for the wait. Shadowstorm11: Aww, you're so sweet. I don't know if I'll ever really be that good, but that would be amazing! Tevyecat: Read on! Guest: I'm trying. I promise I'll try not to let it go so long again. Prydain: Ask and you shall (eventually) receive. Here's the next chapter…
I do not own Star Wars or its characters.
Chapter 9
Some time later Ahsoka managed to compose herself and she returned. Anakin's voice stayed her as she entered.
"Stop. Stay there where I can see you; in the light." There was an anxious silence as he seemed to absorb her with his eyes; he seemed to be trying to memorize every single detail. Finally the quiet became too much for the woman and she spoke, "What?"
Anakin huffed softly, a slight, sad, nostalgic smile appearing on his face, "You're all grown up." He paused, "I hadn't noticed." Another pregnant pause, then he spoke, tearfulness threatening at the edges of his voice, "You're beautiful." She hurried over as he broke into tears once more, "I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."
She reached out to hold him, comforting her master as best she could, "There is nothing to forgive."
Her words did nothing to stop the flow of tears and she cuddled him closer in her arms, muttering soothingly.
"I made you a promise, Ahsoka, a promise. No one would ever hurt you. And I broke it spectacularly."
She shushed him. The last thing she wanted to think about right now was Malachor. In fact, she felt she would be perfectly happy if she forgot the planet existed. They were both quiet for a while, as Anakin tried to calm down and the Togruta just enjoyed having him near her.
"Do you…" he asked, "Do you still meditate?"
"Well, yes, of course."
"I can't seem to manage it. I know that I need to, I know it would help… but I try over and over and it always goes wrong." He paused, "Sith… meditate too… but it's different… and I can't seem to go back."
While she was curious about what he meant by 'different,' lingering on all things Sith seemed like a bad idea. "Do you want me to teach you?"
He smiled in faint amusement, "Could you? Please?"
She laughed a little, "Oh, how the tables have turned. When do you want to start?"
He paused, as if uncertain that she had really agreed, "Now?"
Ahsoka nodded, "Okay." She moved further down the bed, and winced as she noticed the outline of cut-off stumps under the covers. Blast Sidious! That he could have done any of this to another creature… well, it said something about Sith. At least the sane ones. Poor Anakin didn't really have a choice.
She settled in on the empty section of the bed, crossing her legs and facing him. "All right, now, where should we start…"
Rex heard a crash as he neared the room and hurried inside. As he entered he realized what had made the noise. Anakin, frustrated, had grabbed a dish from beside the bed and thrown it against the wall.
"It's not WORKING!"
A harried-looking Ahsoka responded, her voice tense with forced calmness, "You're too impatient. You need to calm down. Relax and focus on the Force."
"I thought that was the reason I was meditating."
The togruta started to raise her voice, "Yes, but-"
Anakin interrupted her, drawing attention to the new addition to the room, "Rex, look who's come home." Despite his apparent frustration, there was an incredible joy in his eyes.
Apparently he had been noticed. The clone smiled as Ahsoka's gaze turned to him, only with difficulty keeping tears from his eyes. She was alive; he couldn't believe it. A moment later she was across the room and they were wrapped in an embrace. She was back; after so many years she had finally returned. He could see Anakin, staring at them with a nostalgic smile on his face, as if with them all back together the world was somehow righted.
He was slightly startled as he heard a voice whispering in his ear, "I need to talk to you."
They finally pulled apart and her voice returned to normal volume, "It's good to see you, Rex."
Rex emotionally cleared his throat, "You too, kid." He couldn't help but wonder what that had been about, but then he supposed he would find out soon enough.
"What is going on, Rex?" Anakin's voice broke into the moment. "I can't find out anything stuck in here."
He sighed, "Well, they're getting ready to have a briefing, and while that's going on they're going to get this room ready for the strategy meeting to figure out what to do about that base."
The other man's face lit up, "They're taking my recommendations?"
"They're considering it. They are a bit hesitant, but they're willing to listen."
Anakin looked incredulous, "They trust me that much?"
Ahsoka interrupted, "Okay, sorry to interrupt, but what's going on?"
Rex sighed, "You know the base at Gamorra?"
The woman nodded, "You mean the giant death trap? Of course."
"Yeah, well, they're going after it."
She closed her eyes, "Why would they ever do that? Aren't two Death Stars impressive enough?"
The clone replied, "It's too big, too important. It's affecting their efforts and must be neutralized."
Ahsoka spoke, "But what does Anakin have to do with it?"
"He has a plan." The togruta shot him an odd look, and Anakin responded with a look that made him look like a pleading puppy.
"It's a good plan." He said, "It will work; I know it."
Ahsoka paused, then looked at Rex, "Can I speak to you for a moment? Outside?"
Ahsoka spoke once she had drawn the clone aside, "Are you insane? You can't expect him to do this."
"It was his idea." Rex retorted defensively, "He insisted."
The woman tried to make him understand, "Look. He is incredibly fragile right now. He's- he's hanging onto the light with his fingernails. The last thing he needs is to be involved in the war."
Rex vainly attempted to placate her, "Maybe this is what he needs. It might be cathartic getting a chance to fix things. Besides," He smiled slightly, "You know the General. It'd drive him nuts to be stuck out of the action."
Ahsoka's voice was an urgent hissed whisper, conveying her frustration without allowing the occupant of the ajoining room to listen in, "I've been doing a lot of work these last few years, trying to find what to do about this. It wasn't easy." She paused, "Do you know how much knowledge about the dark side has been lost since the Republic?"
The clone looked slightly befuddled, "Well, I-"
"A lot. The Sith disappeared, and they simply didn't bother hanging onto it. And even before that, a similar thing happened after Darth Bane's little murder tantrum."
Rex stared at her, "Blast. How far back did you look?"
She sighed. "I've looked all over the galaxy. Ancient libraries, the basements of moldy old ruins of Jedi temples… everywhere. And while what I found was limited, and often referenced other stuff I didn't have, it was clear about some things." She paused, He needs quiet, and peace. Someplace he can rest and recover, as far away from the Empire and the war as possible."
The other responded, "…In a nice, secluded Jedi temple with Jedi healers who know what to do with this sort of thing, I take it."
Ahsoka's expression dropped and she nodded.
Rex sighed, "Of course. Fantastic."
He noticed the togruta had seated herself against the wall and he carefully joined her, grunting slightly as his joints protested the unaccustomed motion. Getting old really wasn't any fun. Finally he spoke, "I'm sorry… You know, I don't run things around here; it's not my call what happens to him. So far we've had our hands full just keeping him out from in front of a firing squad. We're doing what we can already. The only way they'll agree to even keep him alive is in exchange for information. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is."
The woman muttered something too softly for him to hear. "What was that?"
Ahsoka spoke up slightly, raising her voice to a barely discernable volume, downcast and still staring at the floor, "He tried to kill himself, Rex."
The clone was silent.
At last she continued, "He… he stole one of my sabers and tried to stab himself with it. I talked him out of it. Barely." She paused, still studying the floor panels, "I made him promise he'd let us have some time to prove things aren't so bad. I managed to wrest three months out of him. I said after that I'd let him die if he still wanted to."
Rex was sober, surprised (though not as much as he should have liked). He remembered Anakin telling him to leave him in the storeroom to suffocate or be tortured and wished he wasn't so glad the true breaking point had happened with Ahsoka and not him. Not that he wanted her to be put through that, but he didn't have the least idea what he would have done. "Three months isn't much time, particularly with his condition. Do you really think you can do it?"
She looked up, "Are you joking? I lied, Rex. Anakin's not that old; he's easily got fifty years left. If he thinks he's getting out of them he is very much mistaken. There's no way I'm letting him die. I just hope that I can come up with some better arguments before we repeat this in three months. The ones I had weren't cutting it."
They were both silent for a long time.
"I just… This isn't how I thought the beginning would be. Horrible and awful in other ways, sure, but not… this." She paused, "What happened?"
Rex looked at her, "What do you mean?"
"How did they get him back? Last time I saw him he seemed pretty firmly…" She trailed off.
The other's face was solemn, "I don't know. All I know is that the kid brought him back with him after the death star exploded. Neither one will tell me much more than that."
Ahsoka looked at him, "The kid… Anakin mentioned a son. Is that..?"
Rex sighed and nodded, "Luke. He turned up four years ago, soon after the battle of Sarish. Good kid. Good Jedi. Nothing to his father of course, but, uh, he means well." He paused, side eyeing Ahsoka, "With some training he could really amount to something."
The woman glanced at him questioningly, then her eyes widened as she realized his meaning, "No! Absolutely not! Rex, I left the Jedi for a reason, I'm not going back now."
"You left over twenty years ago over the actions of people who aren't in the picture anymore."
Ahsoka spoke under him, muttering, "That's one way to put it."
Rex pretended he hadn't heard, "It's different now. Whatever the order becomes, it will be a new creation; molded by the people who put time into it."
Ahsoka didn't answer, she was quiet for a while before looking up at the other, "What do you think happened?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"With Anakin. What do you think happened to him?"
Rex paused, "I don't know. It's not my place to judge."
The togruta paused before speaking, her voice hard and angry. "I think Sidious forced him."
"Ahsoka-"
"Well you saw him! He was all over Anakin, all the time. How many times did he pull him away from a mission, just to come back to Coruscant and 'chat?' It was disgusting!"
Then clone pulled the distraught woman into his side, trying to infuse some sense into the situation, "I'm not sure it really matters at this point. That was a long time ago and it's over now."
She paused, still seemingly on the line between tears and anger, "You saw him in there." Her voice dropped to a whisper, "How long do you think Sidious tortured him?"
"Do we know that he did?"
Ahsoka replied, "Oh, come on. Who else would have done that to him?" She paused again, "Anakin wouldn't have broken easily, that's all I know."
Rex was silent, "I don't know; I wasn't there at the end. And after you left… things were different. He took things harder, fought more. And people… they just kept dying and… he seemed to blame himself somehow."
"You think he willingly turned?" Ahsoka sounded horrified.
"I don't know."
"Because he wouldn't," she hissed back, "And those scars tell me everything I need to know."
Rex was less certain, but decided not to upset her by addressing it, "Anyway, the briefing will be starting soon. We should get going if we're going to be there for it."
She sighed, "Yeah, all right. I'll go say goodbye to Anakin and then we can go."
The briefing room was already nearly full of Rebellion brass. Ahsoka wandered through, noting the people she knew, avoiding those she didn't except for a few introductions. She found she had been separated from Rex, and started to look around for him.
Instead something caught her attention. A young blond man, dressed in black, stood near the window, paying very little attention to the socializing chaos around him. Something about him felt familiar…
She gasped as he turned around and she saw his face.
She walked over, noticing as she did so the lightsaber hanging by his side. She smiled as she held out her hand, "Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm Ahsoka Tano." She paused, "You must be Luke."
"Um… yes." The boy stared at her, his eyes going wide as he saw the sabers she carried, "Who are you? Are you a Jedi?"
"Sort of. It's complicated."
He looked confused, and she felt her stomach twist as his brow furrowed up like Anakin's. It hurt, seeing his face on someone else, particularly after seeing the deformed ruin in the med-bay. "What do you mean, 'it's complicated?'"
"I was Anakin's apprentice back in the Republic."
He still seemed confused, "But I thought all the Jedi were dead."
Ahsoka nodded, "That's right." She continued quickly, not giving him time to respond, "I saw you over here, and, well… Anakin told me about you and I had to say hello… Um… How old are you?" That incredibly pertinent question kept niggling at her, demanding answers. When had Anakin ever… Not that I mind, of course. I don't mind at all. I had better not be blushing.
Luke, meanwhile, was giving her a very strange expression, "Why does that matter?"
"Please answer the question."
"Um… twenty-three, but-"
She wasn't really paying attention. Twenty-three. That put his existence as after she left. Good. Wait… why did she care? She decided to switch the topic, "So… I'm told I have you to thank for him being alive."
Luke shrugged, "I guess. You said you know my Father?"
She nodded, "How did you bring him back? Please, I need to know."
Luke shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, I had been talking to him, working… After I found out who he was, it- it took me a while to accept it…"
Ahsoka looked sad, "Well, you didn't know him. You only knew the suit, of course you didn't want to accept that."
The young man stared at her, Anakin's blue eyes peering out at her appraisingly, "Yeah." He finally said. "I guess I still don't really." He paused, then sighed, continuing, "Anyway, I don't know how it happened. I got myself captured on Endor, because I had felt conflict in him. I thought if I could just talk to him… It did no good, and seemed only to strengthen his resolve. He took me before the Emperor…" Luke continued to talk, telling the story as best he could. That he could tell, his father betrayed the Emperor with no warning, and he could not figure out what steps had led him to that point, or if there were any. He privately worried that it may have been a spontaneous, temporary decision, one that would soon relapse. If that happened it could easily mean death for them all. He didn't mention his fears, but he hoped Ahsoka had some answers.
Anakin looked up in surprise as the door slid open. Who could it possibly be? He remembered Rex saying some people (or droids) might be by to turn it into a war-room. "Who's there?" He called.
A small boy, about three years old, came toddling through the door. The black-haired child stopped a few feet in, staring wide-eyed up at Anakin on slightly swaying legs.
"What are you doing here?"
Instead of answering, the boy grinned and waved.
Anakin continued to speak as the child wobbled across the floor, "Do your parents know where you are?"
"Mm-m."
The man watched him worriedly as he climbed onto the bed, "Look, I'm not sure you should be here. It's… dangerous."
Having successfully scaled his peak, the boy took a moment to study him appraisingly, "Oo Va'da?"
Anakin nodded, then paused "Are you scared?"
He seemed to think about that for a moment, "Mmm… no."
"No?" He paused, unable to stop himself from smiling at the child's face, "Well, I think there are some adults out there that might disagree with you."
The sentiment appeared to amuse him, "Oo not scawy!"
"Why not?"
The black-haired toddler ran his hands over the large scars on his scalp and beneath his eye, breaking into giggles a second later, "Oo look funny." He paused, "I 'dopt oo."
Anakin's face broke into a grin, "You'll adopt me?"
He nodded, still giggling slightly.
The man raised an eyebrow, "Do you adopt a lot of Imperials?"
The three-year-old's face scrunched up in thought, then he shook his head.
Anakin paused, questioning lines appearing in his forehead, "Do your parents know you're here?"
He shook his head.
"Um… What's your name anyway?"
The little boy opened his mouth to answer, then a calling voice from outside drew his attention, "Poe! Poe, where are you? Poe!"
Anakin nodded towards the door as Poe looked back at him, "Is that your Mom?" Nod. "You should get that." He paused, "Really. I'm fine. She'll be worried about you."
Finally the child carefully climbed off the bed, then toddled off, waving. "Bye, Va'da!" His grin was infectious, and Anakin couldn't help smiling in return.
He heard voices from outside.
"There you are! What were you doing in there? I was worried sick!"
Poe's babyish voice responded, "But Mommy, there's a man in there."
"I don't care if there's a man in there, you stay where I tell you. You could have been hurt." She paused, "Anyway, Daddy'll be back from his run soon; do you want to go meet him?" Another pause. Anakin guessed the boy nodded, "Let's go see Daddy." The voices began to fade as she walked away, "Maybe, if you're good, he'll take you up today."
And the last gleeful yell, "Up! Up! Yay!"
