I don't know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was because he held my hand in the department store, or maybe it was because he wrapped his arm around my waist at the restaurant. All I know is that I wanted to kiss Edward Cullen. And so I did.
It wasn't a lingering kiss. It was a chaste peck because he had already told me how difficult it was for him to restrain himself whenever he was in close contact with me and I didn't want to make it harder for him than it already was. But the short kiss was definitely enough to send shivers down my spine and more than enough to make me want more. "I want it to mean that we're more than just friends, Edward. I really like you, and I've never felt like this with anyone before. But this isn't just about me. It's about you too. So I'm going to get out of this car and I want you to think about what you want. The ball's in your court now." I reached for the door handle and got ready to get out of the car. "Just remember that whatever you choose, I still want to be your friend and I want you to be mine." Then I smiled softly at him. "Good night."
As I bounded up my porch, I smiled to myself, knowing that I had just stunned Edward Cullen, the Edward Cullen completely speechless. I like to think that I'm the only person that can do that.
After I unlocked the door, I announced, "Mom! I'm home!"
She poked her head from inside the kitchen and beamed at me. "Hello, Bella. Did you have a good time?"
I nodded, knowing that the grin on my face said it all. "I had a great time. Edward's sister joined us later and she made me buy a bunch of stuff. She's coming over later to bring it all over."
My mother's face fell. "Bella, sweetie, you know we're not made of money. How much did you buy?"
I sighed to show my frustration. "I didn't buy any of it. Alice insisted on paying for it all."
She frowned. "She did?"
"Yeah. I kept trying to pay for it, but she wouldn't let me. At one point she took the credit card from my hands and wouldn't let me have it back until we left the store."
"Oh dear," my mother said with a worried look on her face. "How much did she spend? I hope she didn't spend too much. I'll have to pay her back…"
"She probably won't let you," I said as I helped myself to an apple from the lazy-susan on the kitchen table. "She told me not to worry because she has more money than she knows what to do with."
"Well I'll try anyways," she said, still unconvinced. "You said she was coming over later tonight?"
"Yeah," I said as I shoved the bit of apple I was chewing to the inside of my cheek. "She said she'll come around six to drop off the stuff and just hang out for a while. Is that okay?"
My mom nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."
"Kay. I'm just going to go upstairs then."
"Wait, Bells. I want to talk to you for a second."
I stopped on the bottom stair and turned to my mom, looking at her expectantly. Her expression puzzled me. She looked like she was anxious about something, and she was never anxious when she wanted to talk with me. "What's up?"
"It's about Edward," she began. Then it all rushed out, like she had been holding it in and been meaning to let it out. "Idonhinkyoushouldseehimanymore."
My eyebrows shot up my forehead. "What?"
She took a deep breath and said it slower. "I don't think you should see him anymore. I can tell that the two of you are very close, but you're not being very fair to him sweetie."
I immediately bristled. "What do you mean?"
She sighed in exasperation. "You know what I mean. You two are obviously getting very attached in a very short amount of time, and I think that's fantastic. But it's obvious that he likes you very much and…well…you're not going to be around for long."
I did something very rare. I got angry with my mother. "Are you telling me that I'm not being fair to him?"
"Sweetie, don't take it that way," she said desperately. "It's just…it's not fair to him to get so attached to you when you're…well, when…you know…"
"Why don't you just say it?" I demanded. "When I'm going to die! Just say it! You can't accept the fact that it's going to happen, can you?"
"Bella—"
"No!" I screamed. "I've been listening to you all my life! That's all I've ever done! I've been stuck inside this stupid house since I was born because of you! I've never been able to have any friends because of your stupid rules, and now that I actually do have friends you want to take them away from me!"
I saw the tears well up in her eyes, but I was too far over the edge to care. "Bella, sweetie, it's not like that—"
"Yes it is!" I shouted savagely. "You just have to control every part of my life, don't you? Even when it's not going to last much longer! Well guess what? It's my life! Not yours! I don't have a lot of time left, and I'm going to live how I want, and you're not going to stop me!" And with that, I stomped up the stairs, desperately trying to keep the tears from falling.
When I finally got to my room, I slammed the door and threw myself onto the bed, burying my face into my pillow. And then all the tears came out.
This was my last chance, my very last chance to find that one special person that I could love with all my heart, and my mother wanted to take it away from me. She wanted to stop it because it wasn't fair to him.
Ten minutes later, I heard a soft knock on the door. I gritted my teeth. "Go away, Mom! I don't want to talk to you!"
"Bells, it's me," my dad's voice answered. "Please, let me in."
I sighed and reluctantly heaved myself out of my bed to open the door. He smiled sadly when he saw me. "So how was your day?"
"It was fine," I said stiffly. "Is there something you wanted?"
"Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you."
I nodded mutely and stepped aside to let him come into my room. I didn't find anything wrong with talking to my dad. None of this was his fault.
"So, your mother just told me about the conversation the two of you had," he began very slowly. I grunted in response.
He sighed. "Bella…just hear me out, okay? I think your mother has a point. If you're going to continue this relationship or friendship, or whatever it is you and Edward have, you should at least tell him what's going on. But I don't believe that you have to stop seeing him." He sighed again and looked at me sadly. "We're just worried about you Bells."
I snorted. "Mom's not. She's more concerned about being fair to Edward than she is about my happiness."
My father frowned at me. "You know that's not true. You know that your mother and I care about your happiness very much. We just want Edward to be warned ahead of time, so he can prepare himself."
I hesitated and then nodded stubbornly as I wiped the tears from my face. "I know. But this is my life. And Edward's my friend. I like having friends now."
"I know you do. And I think it's fantastic that you have friends. We're just saying that you should be fair to them. You need to let them know that you don't have much time left."
It was my turn to sigh. "Just…just give me a while, okay, Dad? I'll tell him. Just not now."
He nodded. "That's good enough for me." Then he wrapped his arms around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "Now I think you owe your mother an apology."
I sighed again, but nodded. I was being too harsh on her and she was probably still crying right now. We both got up and I followed him down the stairs into the kitchen.
"Renee? Bella wants to tell you something."
I looked up and winced at my mother's tear-stained face. "I'm sorry mom," I told her sincerely. "I know that you care about me, and I know that you were just trying to do what was best. I was just…I guess I was just being overly-sensitive about it."
"Oh, Bells!" she wailed as she rushed over to me and threw her arms around my neck. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry for even suggesting it! You're completely right, it's your life and you deserve to live it however you want! I'm not going to interfere anymore, I promise. I just…I just want you to enjoy the rest of your time here."
I scrunched up my face in an attempt to keep myself from crying. "It's okay, Mom. I'm sorry for yelling at you. And I didn't mean all those horrible things I said."
"Oh, I know you didn't." And she hugged me tighter as I squeezed back.
We hugged and wept a little while longer until Dad got impatient and asked not-so-politely when dinner was going to be served. At that, my mother jumped and ran to the stove to check to see if anything was burning. Meanwhile, it gave me time to think about what my parents had told me.
It was true that I was holding off telling Edward. I just didn't want him to treat me like a dying girl, even if I was. I wasn't sure how he'd react, but if he was already so concerned about me just spending time with him because something as silly as vampirism, he definitely wouldn't let me out of the house if I told him I was going to die anyways.
But my parents were right. I had to tell him because I wasn't being fair. Even if he was the equivalent of a Greek god, he still had human emotions (despite the fact that he would constantly downplay his humanity) and he would be very upset when I died. I had to at least give him some time to prepare himself.
But I didn't want to tell him too soon. I wanted to enjoy the normalcy for once. So I decided that when the time was right, I would tell him.
Glad that I finally came to a decision, I ate dinner and told my father what happened at Port Angeles. He was much less anxious that my mother was about Alice spending so much money on me. In fact, he laughed.
"Don't worry about it, Renee," he chuckled. "The Cullens and Hales do have a lot of money, so they weren't too inconvenienced."
"It's still not proper manners," Mom sniffed. "We should at least offer to pay them half."
"We should," he agreed. "There's no doubt that they would refuse, but it's good to at least offer."
I grinned. My father had a better grasp of Cullen etiquette than my mother did.
True to her promise, Alice dropped by at around seven that evening.
"Oh, you must be Alice!" my mother cried enthusiastically when she opened the door. "We've heard so much about you, dear! Come in, come in!"
"Thank you, Mrs. Swan," Alice chirped. "And thank you for letting me come in so late and on such late notice."
"Oh, it was no trouble!" Mom beamed. "Any friend of Bella's is welcome in our home. Would you like something to eat?"
"Oh, no that's alright," she said very politely. "I ate before I left."
"Hello, Alice," my dad introduced himself before my mother began insisting on food. "It's very nice to meet you."
"It's very nice to meet you too, Mr. Swan." I saw as her gaze flickered to the television. "Oh, you're watching the Blaze game? I don't think they stand much of a chance against the Mavericks. They're the number one team in the league right now."
My father's eyes lit up at the mention of the basketball game. "Yeah, I don't think they'll win either. I'm not really much of a fan either, I've just been watching their progress since the season started."
"Yeah. My family thinks that the Spurs are going to win the title again, but Jasper and I swear up and down that this is the Mavericks' year."
Dad nodded eagerly. "Me too. Avery Johnson's got a very strong lineup this season and Terry and Nowitzki are so in synch and Josh Howard is really a superb—"
"Anyways," my mother cut across him, "Dear, I think the girls want to go upstairs. Why don't you two go on up now and just holler if you need anything."
"Will do!" I called as Alice and I raced up the stairs.
"So did you really know what you were talking about at all?" I asked her once we reached my room.
She made a face at me. "Of course I knew what I was talking about. Edward and Emmett love arguing about the NBA and the rest of us enjoy watching the games too."
I opened the door to my room and gaped when I saw about twenty bags in my room. "I took the liberty of going back and buying a few things that we missed," she declared happily as she set down the shopping bags she brought with her. "And I didn't want to overwhelm your parents because I knew they were probably feeling guilty about letting me spend so much money on you, so I just brought them back here."
"Alice," I whispered weakly as I looked out at the sea of clothes, "I didn't even try any of these on! And besides, none of these will fit in my closet!"
"Yes they will," she said. "We just have to throw out the ones you have in there now."
"I am not throwing out my clothes."
She sighed. "We'll compromise, okay? I'll let you keep some of the more sentimental pieces and the ones that I approve of."
I knew it was pretty much the best offer I was going to get, so I sighed and nodded. We spent the next hour sorting through my closet and arguing over the clothes that we were going to throw out.
After a fierce argument over a sweater my mother had gotten for me after I had been diagnosed, Alice turned to me with a serious expression her face that I didn't trust at all. "So I had a very interesting vision after you left."
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh?"
She nodded. "You were in a hospital bed."
I felt the color drain from my face. "Alice…"
She held up her hand. "Save it, Bella. You don't owe me an explanation, but I certainly think my brother deserves one."
"I'm going to tell him," I said hurriedly. "I swear, I will. I just want to enjoy the last bit normalcy I have first. And I'm waiting for the right moment."
She sighed. "Okay. But I hope the right moment comes sooner rather than later. Edward's not going to be happy when he finds out, right moment or not."
I smiled sadly. "You're not going to tell him, are you?"
She shook her head. "No. It's not my secret to tell. Besides, I trust you. I believe you'll tell him when it's time."
"Thank you." I hesitated for a moment, then began with, "And I'd really appreciate it if you—"
"I won't tell anyone else," she finished for me. "I swear."
I nodded and smiled. "Thanks."
We continued sorting through my closet in silence.
When the task was finally finished, we began unpacking the new clothes Alice had bought for me. My jaw dropped when I reached a certain bag.
"YOU BOUGHT ME LINGERIE?" I shrieked.
"Well I knew you didn't want to buy any with Edward there and I knew it was more than he could handle watching you in thongs and such, so I just decided I'd do it myself," she said very simply, as if she had done me a favor. "Besides, I knew your size so I'm pretty sure all of it will fit.
"Alice, that's not the point," I whined. "You bought me lingerie without me there!"
"So? Boyfriends do it for their girlfriends all the time."
"YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"
"What's your point? You'll look very nice in these, I promise."
I dug into the bag and pulled out a lacy monstrosity. "You don't seriously expect me to wear this, do you? I don't even know how this goes!"
"Easy," she said breezily as she took the contraption from me. "Your legs go here," she indicated, "and this part just crosses your waist."
I pulled out another piece. "I can't believe you bought me butt floss."
The corners of her lips quirked upwards. "Oh come on, Bella. Do something wild for once! I bet you don't have a single pair of colored underwear in your drawer right now. I'm right, aren't I?"
I blushed and looked away. "That's not the point! Colored underwear I can deal with, as long as it covers me properly." I pulled out a blue bra that seemed to be made entirely out of lace. "I can't wear this!"
She smirked. "You know, my brother is very partial to that shade of blue. Especially on you."
I blushed a bright red. "How do you know?" I demanded.
"He told me," she sang as she took the bra from me, folded it, and set it in my drawer.
"And what exactly makes you think that he's going to see me in that?"
"Oh, didn't he tell you?" she asked in mild surprise. "Vampires have x-ray vision."
I blanched and immediately threw my arms around my chest, as if it could save me from Alice's laser eyes. But she just laughed.
"I was kidding."
I flushed again and stuck my tongue out at her. "That wasn't funny."
"Au contraire, I happened to think that was very funny."
I continued to sort through the lingerie she bought me, all of which was somehow lacy and made of silk and/or satin. "So…" I began, as nonchalantly as I could. "Has Edward said anything about today?"
She grinned widely at me when she realized what I was insinuating. "And why would you be interested?"
"I'm not," I said quickly. "I was just wondering."
Her grin turned into a self-satisfied smirk. "Well, Bella, you're not the only one I'm keeping secrets for. If you want to know if he's said anything about this afternoon then you have to go ask him."
I pouted. "It's just a simple yes or no question," I grumbled.
"Weeell," she began as she started folding my new underwear and putting it away in my drawers, "I suppose I could tell you that you certainly did give him a lot to think about. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he was pacing his room right now."
I grinned happily to myself as I continued with my task. I really did mean what I said to him earlier that afternoon; no matter what he decided, I still wanted to be his friend. But if the smile on Alice's face was any indication, I might just be in luck.
A/N - OH WOW YOU GUYS! The reviews from last chapter totally blew me away! Keep it coming!
I have a few surprises up my sleeves for the next two chapters WHICH happen to already be finished and in editing as of right now. If you guys review, I promise I'll have chapter ten up by Sunday.
