CHAPTER 9

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These chapters just keep getting longer and longer, don't they? I updated a day earlier because a bunch of you guys wanted to know what happened next! Hope I didn't disappoint.

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"Oh my god.." She whispered to herself.

Santana couldn't believe it. No. No, there was no way that was true.

This was too much information to take in at 1:30 in the morning. But she had to face the facts.

If her dream was anything to go by, she had met Quinn before. Not only that, but Quinn had encouraged her to face her parents' divorce with a brave face. Quinn saved her all those years ago.

That's a hard thing to face, especially after the way she and Quinn have been getting along recently.

So far, Santana has felt nothing but hatred towards the beautiful blonde, and although she didn't think it was even possible, she hated her even more. After her dream, it was as if the spark to her rage was lit, and now there was no holding her back.

Santana Lopez hated Quinn Fabray, and that was that.

The blonde has been lying to her family this entire time, and that is unforgivable.

There was so much she wanted to say, so much she needed to ask, and so many questions she needed answers to, but that could all wait until tomorrow.

Santana needed her rest because tomorrow she was going to confront the blonde.


The sound of her alarm clock was always annoying. Especially on a weekend. So when the noise filled her ears, Santana tiredly reached over and slammed the button, effectively silencing the machine. Her room turned silent, and suddenly, it was even louder than it was before.

Because now, she was left alone with her thoughts, and all she could think about was the dream she had last night.

Quinn was her knight in shining armour.

Quinn was the woman Santana spoke about for months.

This changed everything.

Santana felt like her heart had been ripped out, and all she wanted to do was stay in bed and cry all day, but she couldn't. She had to be strong, and she had to stand up for her dad.

Richard would never realize the manipulative liar he was dating, so Santana had to make him open his eyes and see it for himself.

She would force him to see Quinn in a new light if it came to that.

Thankfully, her father worked on Sundays, so she and Quinn had the house to themselves. That would definitely give them a chance to talk about this.

She tiredly got out of her bed and rubbed her eyes. Santana stood up and lazily put on some sweats over her panties. There was no way she was going to let Quinn see more of her skin than what was deemed appropriate. Santana has already seen more than enough of Quinn's body, she wouldn't feel comfortable if the roles were reversed. So now, she was wearing dark green sweats and a baggy grey top. Throwing her hair into a high bun, she walked to her bathroom and brushed her teeth.

Once she was presentable, she headed downstairs and towards the kitchen. It didn't smell like eggs and bacon this time, so Santana figured that Quinn chose not to make her breakfast. It was probably for the best considering she didn't have much of an appetite.

Santana peeked her head into the kitchen and when she saw the coast was clear, she walked inside. She heard muffled sounds of the TV, and she knew that Quinn was in the living room.

She needed to be brave and just come right out and say it. Like ripping off a bandaid.

"It was you." Santana's voice left no room for argument. She was standing behind the couch, so Quinn wasn't able to see her.

Slowly, the blonde turned around and quirked a confused, yet slightly amused eyebrow at her. "I'm sorry?" the blonde had the nerve to say as she smirked. Santana wanted to slap that stupid smirk right off her pretty little face.

"Don't play dumb with me Lucy Quinn Fabray, I know it was you, alright? I remember!"

Quinn chuckled nervously and slowly stood up from the couch. "Alright, no need to scream my full name for the neighbours to hear. Care to calm the fuck down and explain yourself?"

Santana scoffed, pissed off that Quinn even had the nerve to pretend like Santana was out of line. "4 years ago! When my Mama left us…" She started, hoping she didn't need to finish the story.

The Latina saw hazel eyes flash in recognition, and Quinn nodded slowly. That was all the confirmation she needed.

Santana felt like she was going to be sick.

It was one thing to believe that Quinn was her mystery woman, and it was another to have it confirmed. Santana wasn't crazy. She wasn't imagining it.

"I didn't think you would remember," Quinn started.

"Don't you dare.." Santana started, pointing a finger towards the girl. She walked around the couch and stormed towards her, pointing a rough finger into her chest. "You have f-five seconds to explain y-yourself!" Santana felt her eyes well up in tears, and she hated herself for getting so emotional. She didn't want to be so upset. Santana hated how sensitive she was sometimes. She hated how weak she was when it came to Quinn.

Quinn's eyes softened and she slowly reached up, grabbed Santana's wrist, and pulled the girls hand away from her chest. "Don't cry, honey.." Quinn's voice was so soft and it almost seemed like she cared. For a split second, Santana forgot how much she hated her. The Latina shut her eyes, exhaled deeply, and felt herself calm down at the sound of Quinn's melodic voice.

For just a moment Santana forgot about everything.

But then she remembered, and her eyes fluttered open. Standing across from her wasn't her mother, but rather Quinn. Lying, cheating, manipulative Quinn.

"Five," Santana began counting down. Her bottom lip was quivering from her emotions. This was all too much to handle, and she couldn't look into those hazel eyes without seeing the sweet woman that cared for her so deeply 4 years ago. It was hard to believe that that woman was the same woman looking at her now. "Four."

Quinn nodded frantically. She looked panicked, almost as if she was in a rush. "Santana.." She started, and shut her eyes nervously. "I know this looks bad," she started, "but when I started dating your father, I had no idea that you were related to him."

Santana crossed her arms and waited patiently. She refused to speak until Quinn finished her story.

"4 years ago, when I met you, I thought you were a beautiful girl who was going through a tough time. I felt so horrible for you and all I wanted to do was help. But after that, I never saw you again, so I sort of just… forgot." Quinn licked her lips. "And then I met your father. I swear to you that my intentions were nothing but honest. I genuinely loved him for him. I didn't have any ulterior motives or secret plans. I didn't even know that he had a daughter, much less an ex wife."

Santana's face softened at that. She scratched the back of her head.

"Eventually he told me that he was divorced with a daughter, but I still didn't put it together. It wasn't until I met you at that restaurant when I recognized you."

The Latina licked her lips. She was about to start talking, but Quinn interrupted her.

The blonde sighed. "Well, that's not true, actually. I first recognized you at the coffee shop. That's why I was staring at you. I remembered who you were and all I wanted to do was walk over there and hug you. I wanted to ask you so many questions and I wanted to make sure that you were happy, but you were smiling with Brittany, so I didn't want to mess that up." Quinn met Santana's eyes, and she looked at her desperately. "But Santana, I promise you, my feelings for your dad are nothing but genuine."

Santana let out a weak laugh. "I find that hard to believe."

"Why?"

"Do you blame me? You've been fucking sketchy ever since I met you, and now I find out that you were there the day my Mama left? I can't help but be a little suspicious about your motives," Santana reasoned.

Quinn sighed, clearly getting annoyed. She reached out and grabbed Santana's hands. "What is it going to take to gain your trust, huh?"

Santana sighed, and looked down at their adjoined hands. She didn't hold Quinn's hand back, but she didn't let go of her either. "I'm really confused right now, Quinn."

"Why?" Quinn whispered so softly that Santana felt like crying again.

She looked down, embarrassed. "W-When I was little, I idolized you. You were my hero. Quinn, you helped me get out of a really dark place, and you gave me hope for a future. But looking at you now, I don't see that person anymore. I don't see you as my hero, and I don't understand why."

Quinn nodded. She had a hurtful expression in her eyes, and for a moment, Santana wondered if she was too harsh with her words. "I can respect that. We've both changed. You've grown into a teenager, and I've turned into someone that I don't like. But unfortunately, that's life." The blonde licked her lips and squeezed Santana's hands encouraging. "You know, when I first saw you, I was confused, too."

"Really?"

The blonde nodded, hoping to leave it at that.

But of course, Santana pushed it. "Why?"

"May I speak freely?" Quinn asked, not wanting to offend her.

Santana nodded again, and she promised herself not to judge whatever came out of Quinn's mouth next.

"When we first met, 4 years ago, all I could think about was how adorable you were. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be the mother you never had. But when I saw you again at that coffee shop, my thoughts weren't exactly innocent. I went from thinking you were cute to thinking you were insanely attractive. You went from a 0 to a 10 really quick, and it was confusing." Quinn smiled charmingly. "What made it worse was that I later found out that you were my boyfriends daughter and that you were completely off limits. I hate that I couldn't have you. But more than that, I hated that I wanted you in the first place." Quinn sighed, looking down. "You were just a little girl, and then you grew into this beautiful woman, and it took me off guard. It still takes me off guard."

Santana smiled softly, and chewed on her bottom lip. It wasn't exactly the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to her, but for some reason, it made her feel really special. "You were attracted to me?" She asked. Being best friends with Brittany, Santana was always comfortable with all sorts of sexualities, so whenever a woman was interested in her, she always felt super flattered.

"Of course," the blonde admitted with a soft laugh. "But I've straightened out my urges, and I understand that you're straight and you're Richards daughter, so nothing can ever happen between us. It just confused me that I even wanted something to happen between us. It was a hard thing to come to terms with. Does that make sense?"

Santana found herself nodding as she slowly slipped her hands out of Quinn's grasp. "Completely," she agreed.

Quinn shot her a soft smile and Santana felt her heart beat heavily in her chest.

"I can't help but feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Our relationship has been pretty rocky," Quinn started with a soft chuckle. "What do you say we start over?" Quinn extended her hand.

Santana looked down at the hand and she giggled adorably. "Friends?" she asked the blonde.

Quinn beamed. "Friends," she repeated, and happily, the two girls shook hands.


So it was settled. There would be no more petty drama between Santana and Quinn. Now that they had a mature conversation and all her questions were answered, maybe the two of them could try to be friends.

And who knows? Being friends might turn out to be one of the best decisions Santana has made.

It's been about two weeks since she and Quinn called a truce, and for those 14 days, Santana's house has felt much more welcoming. She no longer dreaded the weekends, she actually liked family dinners, and whenever Richard talked about his girlfriend, Santana no longer cringed. It was a nice feeling.

Whenever Richard wasn't home, Santana and Quinn would sit on the couch and watch a few movies. They would share a few stories and laugh about something stupid. They bonded, and Santana found herself slowly beginning to trust the blonde. Quinn was becoming quite important to her in the three weeks that she's known her.

That shocked Santana because she doesn't usually let people in so easily.

Brittany hasn't come back to the house since the last time, and although it sucks, Santana doesn't want to do anything to risk the friendship she's built with Quinn. Quinn doesn't like Brittany, and Santana has to learn to respect that.

"Bye girls," Richard said sweetly to Quinn and Santana as he left for work on a cold Sunday.

Quinn had made breakfast for the family, and while Santana and the blonde weren't done, Richard had to rush out of the house to go to work. Santana swallowed her pancake and waved to him. "Bye Papa," she said with a soft smile.

"Bye, sweetie," Quinn called afterward, blowing him a kiss.

The door shut and once again, Quinn and Santana were left alone.

The silences that used to be awkward were awkward no more. Now, the silences felt comfortable and enjoyable with Quinn. Words weren't needed because they were simply able to enjoy each others company without searching for things to say.

Santana was comfortable with Quinn, and it was definitely a good feeling.

They were sitting at the kitchen table, Quinn across from Santana, and they were both finishing off their breakfast.

"I can't believe you don't like strawberries," Quinn stated with a soft smirk.

Santana rolled her eyes as she laughed. "Not this again.." she complained, smiling fondly. A few days back, Quinn asked Santana if she wanted some strawberries, and that led the Latina to say a 5 minute speech about how she hates them and refuses to eat them.

Quinn giggled and took a strawberry between her lips and bit down. Santana eyed her as she ate the fruit. "But they're so good. Seriously, I don't know one person who won't eat strawberries."

"Well now you do," Santana quipped with a playful wink.

Quinn didn't look satisfied. "Just try one," she begged with an adorable pout.

Over the past two weeks, Quinn has learned some of Santana's quirks. She learnt that the Latina always plays with her hair when she's nervous, she tugs on her clothing when she feels insecure, and the only time she's genuinely laughing is when her eyes shut. Also, she learnt that Santana can never say no to one of Quinn's pouts. That last one has definitely come in handy.

"No, don't you dare pout at me. You know I can never say no to you when you look like that," Santana laughed loudly, her eyes shutting in the process.

Quinn chuckled as well. "When I look like what?" She asked innocently.

"Adorable."

Silence filled the kitchen again, but it wasn't awkward. Santana looked at Quinn and if she didn't know any better, she would have assumed that the blonde was blushing. However, the embarrassment was quickly gone when Quinn grabbed another strawberry and leaned over the table, offering it to Santana. "Try one. For me."

Santana moved her face away from the fruit and shook her head. "Never," she whispered dramatically.

"Please, San?" Quinn whispered.

The Latina looked into hazel eyes and was rewarded with Quinn's pout followed by puppy dog eyes. She groaned playfully and rolled her eyes. "Alright fine!"

Quinn giggled and clapped her hands, happy that she had managed to convince Santana to try a strawberry.

Rather than giving Santana the fruit, Quinn simply held it between her fingers and moved her hand towards Santana's mouth. She was going to feed her.

Santana looked slightly skeptical, but after a few seconds of hesitation, she decided not to read too much into it. Instead, she rolled her eyes and giggled. Santana licked her lips and then moved her head, meeting Quinn's hand half way. She made direct eye contact with Quinn and slowly, her lips wrapped around the red fruit, and she bit down. She never once looked away from those piercing hazel eyes.

Santana was almost positive that her lips brushed up against Quinn's fingers, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Hotly, she chewed on the strawberry, and slowly leaned back into her chair.

The whole moment felt sort of erotic. Quinn just fed her a strawberry, and for most people, that could be passed off as innocent, but for some reason, the moment they just shared was anything but.

Over the past 2 weeks, there have been times where Santana wondered if Quinn was flirting with her or not. The blonde was naturally friendly, but she seemed to overdo it whenever Santana was around. It made Santana feel special so she never complained.

Santana licked her lips and smirked shyly. "Yum."

Quinn smirked back as she let out a soft chuckle. "You're really beautiful," Quinn simply said.

Santana quirked an eyebrow and blushed softly. She adjusted herself on the seat and took another bite of her pancake, successfully finishing it off. "Where did that come from?"

"I just wanted to say it."

The brunette nodded and licked her lips. "Well, thank you."

Quinn stood up and grabbed their dishes. She walked them over to the sink and began washing them.

"So, Miss. Photographer," Santana started, following her into the kitchen and jumping up onto the counter. "What's life like behind the lens?"

Quinn looked over her shoulder and made eye contact with Santana. She smirked. "Do you really wanna know?"

Santana simply nodded in response.

"It's amazing," Quinn started, ditching the dishes as she walked towards Santana on the counter. The blonde grabbed Santana's knees, and spread them apart.

Santana, who was simply wearing boy shorts, squealed under her breath when her legs were spread apart. Quinn quickly filled the whole as she stepped in between her legs.

She bit on her lip shyly and decided to focus on nothing but Quinn.

"I love my work, and I love finding new inspiration."

"But…?" Santana filled in.

Quinn laughed at that. "How did you know there was a but?"

Santana tilted her head and smiled at Quinn. She was so close that Santana could probably count Quinn's eyelashes if she wanted to. "There's always a but."

"But, I've been struggling to find inspiration recently. All I shoot is landscapes, but none of them excite me. I want to try something else."

Santana nodded in understanding and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. That sucks."

Quinn nodded as well and lazily, she wrapped her arms around Santana's waist. That caused the brunette's eyes to widen at the action, but she didn't comment on it.

"Hey," the blonde started, looking like she just had an idea. "How about you model for me?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Santana asked, jutting her chin forward, hoping that she misunderstood the blonde.

Quinn giggled softly and she nodded. "Yeah, it could be fun. You're insanely gorgeous, and I bet the camera loves you. We could have a lot of fun with it, and who knows? You could be the inspiration I've been looking for."

Santana laughed slowly, but the laughter eventually died down when she realized that Quinn wasn't joking. "Oh god, you're serious aren't you?"

The blonde licked her lips and nodded. "Why not? If it doesn't work out, then at least we tried, but if it does, then we can both make some money."

"I would get paid, too?"

"Well, someone has to buy it, first. But with your stunning cheek bones and amazing body, I don't see why anyone wouldn't buy it," Quinn charmed, her hand reaching up and cupping Santana's cheek. As she referred to the girls cheekbone, Quinn's thumb innocently grazed her cheek.

Santana inhaled sharply at the action. Oddly enough, she felt the need to slam her thighs together, but Quinn was standing between them, so she was forced to deal with the throbbing between her legs.

"Okay," she agreed. The look on Quinn's face was definitely worth it.


Quinn gave Santana time to get ready before they went to the blonde's studio. Santana definitely didn't want to look like she just got out of bed during the photoshoot. This was Quinn's work, and she wanted this to be successful.

After putting on some light makeup, straightening her hair, and dressing in a casual pair of jeans and a red top, Santana was ready to go.

The drive to Quinn's studio wasn't long, and the entire time they listened to music and sang obnoxiously. Santana couldn't help but notice that the blonde had a rather melodic voice when she tried. When she didn't try, she was absolutely hilarious.

Walking into the studio, Santana felt like she was a celebrity. It was thrilling to walk into a giant room with a photographer by her side, knowing that they want to take pictures of her. It made her feel special.

"I just need to set up my camera. In the mean time, do you mind going to the change room and changing into a nude bodysuit?" Quinn asked.

Santana's eyebrows arched up. "Nude bodysuit?" She repeated, hoping Quinn was joking.

The blonde stopped and looked over at her, nodding slowly. "Yeah. Unless that makes you uncomfortable. I don't want clothes to distract from your beauty. I want to make sure that when people look at these photos, they're not focusing on the clothes you're wearing, rather than how beautiful your face is."

Santana nodded slowly, and then cleared her throat. "Right. Okay, y-yeah." And with that, the brunette ran off to the change room.

Funnily enough, the nude bodysuit was the first thing she found. It was a rather risqué thing to wear, especially since from far, she looked naked. The bodysuit was skin colour, giving off the sense of nudity, but obviously, the bodysuit covered any parts she wasn't comfortable showing for the camera. After changing into the material, Santana looked at herself in the mirror and took a nervous deep breath in. She looked beautiful. She knew she did. Santana's body was toned, yet curvy, making her look beyond her years. Santana probably looked 19 and it made her feel beautiful.

Without shoes, she tiptoed out of the change room and walked towards Quinn. The blonde was fiddling with her camera, and the camera was set up in front of a white back drop. It all looked so professional.

Santana was rather cold considering her legs and arms were bare and on display. She didn't feel self conscious in the bodysuit because she knew that she looked good, she was just nervous about Quinn seeing her in such little clothing. It would be a first.

Santana cleared her throat to signal that she was done getting ready.

Quinn seemed to have finished setting up her camera considering she turned around to face the Latina. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her, and it looked as if she was having difficulty swallowing. Quinn cleared her throat, wiped off imaginary sweat, and her hazel eyes travelled up and down Santana's body. Santana felt like she was on a canvas, being studied by strangers.

But Quinn wasn't a stranger, and it almost felt good to have her eyes on her body.

It felt thrilling.

Santana licked her lips and patently waited for Quinn to finish looking at her body.

Hazel eyes met hers, and Santana smiled at her shyly.

"You have no idea how amazing you look right now," Quinn said softly, a smirk appearing on her lips.

Santana chuckled. "If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were hitting on me," she teased, surprised by her own comments.

Quinn winked playfully, and then pointed to the white back drop. "Santana, I'm 14 years older than you, don't be silly." She didn't sound serious. If anything, Quinn sounded playful, sarcastic either. It was as if she didn't mean the words she was saying, and that the age difference didn't mean anything to her.

Hearing Quinn sound so playful shot a spark through Santana's body. The Latina walked over to the white back drop and stood in front of the camera. She was officially on display.

The lens stared at her, and so did Quinn. Santana couldn't remember the last time she felt so alive.

"How should I pose?" She asked shyly. "I'm sorry, I've just never done this before."

Quinn chuckled in understanding. "I know that, sweetie. It's okay. You're a dancer right?"

Santana nodded.

"Just do what feels natural. Use your body to make shapes. If I'm not happy, I'll direct you into a different pose. But for now, do whatever you feel comfortable with." Quinn gave her a thumbs up, and then grabbed the camera, directing it on Santana.

The Latina took a deep breath in and then she started posing.

It surprised her how natural it came. Santana would always watch shoes like America's Next Top Model, and she would always complain about how difficult modelling looked. But right now, in front of Quinn's welcoming stare, it came natural to her.

Santana contorted her body so it added a weird shape to her waist as she eyed the camera. In order to portray a good picture, she pretended like she wanted to seduce the camera. She eyed the lens and flirted with it slightly. Her lips quirked up in a smirk, and she twisted her neck upward.

Santana continued to pose, and she changed her position every few seconds.

"Very good!" Quinn called from behind the camera. "I love the way you're looking at the camera. Very sexy."

At those two words, Santana inhaled sharply, and she froze on the spot.

Quinn just called her sexy.

Suddenly, she was embarrassed beyond belief, and her mind went blank. She could no longer think of anymore poses to portray a good photograph. She was letting Quinn down.

Santana stood there, wide eyed and frozen.

Quinn lowered the camera and eyed her. "Santana?"

Brown eyes lifted up and locked with Quinn's, but Santana didn't say a word.

"You okay?"

Santana nodded frantically.

Quinn licked her lips. "Okay, how about you sit on the floor for a second?" She offered, understanding that Santana's mind went blank.

Following her instructions, Santana sat down on the ground and crossed her legs like she used to do in school.

That made Quinn chuckle, and Santana felt even more embarrassed because clearly, she lost her spark. "Make it a little bit more flirtatious. It's okay, San, it's just me," Quinn told her with a reassuring smile.

Santana bowed her head and looked down. She uncrossed her legs and placed her feet firmly on the ground, so her knees were in the air.

Quinn nodded, but placed her camera down. "Good, but.." She walked over, and bent down to help adjust Santana into a position. Slowly, warm hands grabbed Santana's knees, and just like earlier, she parted the brunette's legs.

Their faces were just inches apart, and Santana was scared that Quinn would be able to hear her beating heart. She could hardly breathe; not with Quinn so agonizingly close to her.

The worst part? Santana had no idea why having Quinn so close was affecting her so much.

No woman has excited her this much before, so why now?

Santana felt something twitch in her panties, and her eyes widened in realization. Her clit. She was aroused. Santana tried to hide her reaction as she bowed her head down, and hid from the blonde. She prayed to god that there wasn't a stain on her bodysuit, otherwise she would run out in tears.

A delicate hand was softly placed on Santana's inner thigh and she bit hard on her bottom lip to keep from moaning. "Stretch this leg out, sweetie," Quinn whispered, and urged Santana's leg down.

After finally being placed in a position, Quinn backed away and continued taking pictures.

Santana felt like she wanted to cry.

For the first time in her entire life, she was turned on by a woman. She was turned on by Quinn, and that terrified her.

What did that even mean?

Santana bravely looked up at the camera and continued posing.

"Good." Quinn's words of encouragement motivated Santana to ignore her arousal and give Quinn the photo shoot of a life time.

She stayed on the floor for about 10 pictures, but then she crawled onto her knees and stuck her ass out in the air. Quinn's reaction behind the camera was slightly amusing. Her eyes widened, and she almost dropped the professional camera.

Santana began crawling forward, and eyeing the camera like she wanted to fuck the person behind it.

Truthfully… she did.

Santana was crawling closer and closer. She was just a few steps away from Quinn, now.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

"Okay, we have our shot!" Quinn practically screamed, backing away from Santana nervously, and clearing her throat.

Santana froze on her hands and knees and shyly fell back onto her ass. She nodded and slowly stood onto her feet.

"You can go get changed, and then we'll go back home, alight?"

The brunette nodded, and mutely ran back to the change room.


Silence on the way home. And not the comfortable kind.

Neither girl said a word, yet they were probably both thinking the same thing.

What just happened?

Today was a good day that took a weird twist. Sure, they had some intimate moments over breakfast, but they've grown close over the three weeks that they've known each other. The strawberry wasn't the weird part. The weird part was the photoshoot.

Santana was wearing a nude bodysuit, so it gave off the impression that she was naked. While she was posing, Quinn called her sexy, and then she grabbed her legs, spread them apart, and traced her inner thigh with her fingers. They had a moment. Santana was sure of it.

What she was even more sure of was that Quinn made her wet, and the following truth scared the shit out of her.

The only person that had ever been able to make her wet before was Puck, and he was a guy, so that was normal.

But this? This is new. And this is terrifying.

When they parked in the driveway, Santana got out of the car without saying a word. She ran into the house and rushed up the stairs and into her room.

She needed to be alone with her thoughts.

Thank god for the lock her dad bought her 2 years ago, because right now, she definitely needed her privacy.

Santana slammed the door, locked it, and then turned on the stereo. She made the music as loud as possible so that Quinn wouldn't be able to hear what she was doing.

She was ashamed of herself for doing what she did next.

Santana walked over to the bed, unbuckled her jeans, and sat down. She laid down on the bed, eyes to the ceiling, and slowly, her hand slid down the waistband of her jeans.

Puck.

She made herself think of Puck so that when she eventually orgasmed, she didn't feel so guilty.

Her fingers found her folds, and Santana was surprised by how wet she still was. Rubbing slowly, up and down, she allowed Puck to fill her thoughts.

His broad shoulders.

His deep voice.

His bad body presence.

His sexy mohawk.

Santana thought about his thick cock and his amazing it felt filling her up. She thought about everything and everything, but as her finger found her clit, she found herself no longer turned on. Thoughts of Puck weren't helping her. She needed a release desperately or she would be on edge around Quinn every time she saw her. She needed to do this.

Santana groaned impatiently. Shutting her eyes, and rubbed her clit roughly and fast, and finally, she was beginning to get aroused again. She moaned in pleasure at the feeling, and allowed herself to truly enjoy it.

Without even realizing it, she imagined a sexy blonde hovering over her, kissing her neck and touching her pussy.

"Oh god.." Santana moaned hotly, going faster with her fingers.

She was so fucking wet.

Her fingers were sliding back and forth, and once she felt ready, she slipped her index finger inside of herself.

Santana winced at the stretch. It's been a while since she's slept with Puck, and she felt so damn tight because of it.

Quinn.

She thought of Quinn completely.

Her delicious ass.

Her perky chest.

That silky smooth voice.

That fucking smirk.

Santana thought about everything as she stuck a second finger inside.

Her chest arched desperately, needing more friction. It felt so deliciously good.

"Fuck.." She panted, chewing on her bottom pipe.

She was so close.

Santana slipped a third finger inside and she moaned loudly at the feeling.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

She picked up speed and she saw flashes of blonde hair and hazel eyes, and with that thought in her mind, she came hard.

"Quinn!" Santana shouted, thankful for the loud music to drain out her orgasm.

Once she settled down, Santana took her fingers out of herself, and cupped her mouth. She gasped silently and her eyes quickly filled with tears. All she could feel was shame and self loathing.

What did she just do?

Santana absolutely hated herself. She was completely disgusted with herself and the act she just committed.

Santana just fucked herself to the image of her dads girlfriend. She deserved to be locked up.

Shutting her eyes, Santana cried miserably.

She cried until she fell asleep.


When Santana woke up, it was dark outside. She could also hear sounds coming from downstairs, so she figured that her dad was home. Quinn probably told him everything.

Quinn probably told Richard that Santana was giving her weird vibes, and that the brunette was making her really uncomfortable. Quinn probably hated her. Santana prayed that the blonde didn't hear what she did to herself in her room. Quinn would never forgive her for that.

The truth is, Santana liked having Quinn as a friend. She was easy to talk to, she made great jokes, and she made Santana feel more alive than she's ever felt before. Santana didn't want to pass that up. She was scared that after the photoshoot, she scared Quinn away, and now the blonde wants nothing to do with her.

That would be horrible.

Lazily, Santana stood up and changed out of her come stained jeans and panties. She changed underwear and put on some boxers.

Santana carried the dirty clothes in her hand with a look of disgust on her face. She opened her closet door and searched for her laundry basket.

The clothes needed to get put in the laundry.

She searched for the basket and groaned impatiently when she couldn't find it. The Latina was definitely not in the mood for getting on her hands and knees and searching for it.

But, nonetheless, she did. She got down on the ground and looked for the laundry bin.

Her father did laundry on Wednesdays, so she knew that the basket had to be somewhere.

Setting the clothes down on the ground, Santana stuck her head in the closet, and used her hands to move things around, desperate to find it.

Her hand reached out and grabbed a hold of something hard. She furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of what she just touched.

Santana grabbed onto the object and leaned back. Her eyes widened in recognition.

Her eyes quickly filled with tears as she stared down at the diary she kept when she was younger. Santana had no idea that she still had it. She thought that she had thrown it out when she got older, but clearly, it's been in her closet this whole time.

Forgetting about the dirty clothes, Santana grabbed the journal and walked over to her bed. She was nervous to read what was inside because as a little girl, she was so happy. And ever since her parents' divorce, life hasn't been so easy.

She opened the first page and began reading.

November 1st.

I went trick or treating with Mama and Papa last night! it was so much fun! I was an ellefant and Papa told me I was the cutest ellefant in the whole wide world! Mama told me I would make all the other ellefants jellus! We had so much fun! We lafhed, walked, and ate candy all night long! I love my family.

Santana smiled sadly at the entry. She wrote that when she was 6 years old. Ignoring the horrible spelling mistakes, Santana flipped a few more pages and skipped to a later entry.

July 12.

I just got home from vacation with Mama and Papa! Florida was so warm, I wish I could live there forever. Plus, there was a lifeguard on the beach, and he was really cute. Papa told me I was too young to be interested in boys, but I told him I was! The lifeguard never talked to me, but I waved goodbye to him on my last day and he waved back. He totally loved me.

Santana shut her eyes as she laughed out loud at the insane entry. She was 11 when she wrote that. Funny how things change. Santana turned more pages and her heart stopped when she came across the entry on the day her mom left.

September 27.

My Mama left. Papa says she's gone forever, but I know she'll be back. She loved me too much to go away forever. Besides, she promised me! And she always used to tell me that a promise is the greatest thing someone can make! She would never break her promise to me. Never. On the bright side, I met a woman today! She was blonde, very tall, and very beautiful. I think she said her name was Quinn. Isn't that such a pretty name? I really like her. She told me I was brave. She said I was strong enough to handle this. I don't know what she was referring to, but it made me smile. Quinn is so pretty. I hope I see her again sometime soon.

Santana's eyes widened. She couldn't believe her eyes.

Quinn had such an impact on her life, so how on earth did Santana forget about her? How could she allow herself to forget the blonde? Santana's heart was in her throat when she finished the entry. While a lot has changed since she wrote these entries, there is one thing that has stayed constant: Santana's thoughts about Quinn. Sure, they got off to a rocky start, but Santana always believed that Quinn was the most beautiful girl in the world. 12 year old Santana and 16 year old Santana both look up to the blonde.

She turned another page and gasped at what she saw.

All over the page was Quinn's name with hearts circled around it. Some just said Quinn, some said Q+S, and others said Quinn+Santana=Love.

Santana rubbed her eyes, praying that this was her imagination, but the hearts never disappeared.

It was clear to her now. 12 year old Santana was in love with Quinn.

She slammed the journal shut and threw it away with tears in her eyes.

She was so screwed.


Hope you liked this chapter! I loved writing it!

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