Hey everyone! Done with another chapter! Thank you guys so much for the reviews on the last chapter. They were AMAZING! So I'm leaving Aspen tomorrow night to get ready for Monday. Monday is when my school resumes :P So I probably won't be able to update as much.
WARNING: This chapter has a slight M scene, but I won't mark it because its not really that bad. It's not a lemon, but a really heated make out session :)
Chapter 9
A matter of weeks passed and I found myself hugging Adrian and Sydney like my life depended on it. I would be alone after they left, but I would still have Dimitri. Adrian and Sydney were going back to Turkey. They thought it was best because Sydney was starting to show and the baby would be safer around their homeland. And Adrian thought it was time to tell my father. They would be coming back for my wedding with my father and Daniella in the fall. But the good thing was, they would be having an early marriage once they were back in Turkey to avoid some complications. I was a tad bit sad because I wouldn't be there to see them get married. But Adrian assured me that all was well and that I should focus on my marriage and on Dimitri.
"I will miss you so much." I whispered in Sydney's ear, clutching her tightly. I felt her smile against me as she squeezed me back. "Good luck with the wedding. And thank you for coming with me to Russia."
"Your welcome." She said, pulling back. "We promise to send letters. And I wish you good luck until we come back."
"Yes, little sister." Adrian said, putting an arm around me. "Make sure to stay safe and stick with Belikov. It's nice to see that you two have bonded."
I smiled at him and gave him a big hug. I would miss Adrian and Sydney. They were like my mother and father in their time here in Russia. They always looked after me. That's why it pains me to see them leave. And I was looking forward to seeing them get married. But I understood that they had to get married before the baby was born, so that nobody would suspect anything.
"Of course I will, Adrian. Take care of Sydney and the baby growing inside her."
Adrian gave me a broad smile. "We shall see you in the fall with Abe and my mother. But please, try not to get into too much trouble."
I rolled my eyes. "I'll try not to. But no promises."
I gave them one last hug before they stepped inside the carriage. Sydney waved through the little window and Adrian nodded at me, as if in approval. And then they were off. I watched their carriage go further and further until it was no longer in sight.
I sighed and made my way back inside the castle. Over the past few weeks, I had learned my way around the halls of the castle. I knew where the ballroom was, the dining hall, everyone's room, and much more. But best of all, I knew the garden. I knew it's twist and turns and the way around the little bushy maze. It had become mine and Dimitri's place. Our own little world. We would go out their often after meals and fool around.
Our relationship had grown deeper as we learned different things about each other. I learned that Dimitri loved western novels and that we had wanted to fight in the war when he was eighteen. He wanted to do everything to protect his country, even if it meant risking his own life. And he loved fighting. Not mental fights, but more of physical fights. He was quick and loved to train himself like he was a guard, which would explain his muscles.
Dimitri had also learned about me. He found out that I loved animals and wouldn't hurt a single one. I told him that I had always wanted a French bulldog ever since I was nine. I remembered the Prince of France once came to visit us to make business with my father. He brought his dog, a healthy French bulldog named Samuel, and entrusted me to watch over him while he met with my father. All went well. We played and chased each other around for most of the day. Dimitri listened patiently through my tale, nodding and smiling. Then he promised me that one day when we were married, he would send someone to retrieve a bulldog from France just for me. He got rewarded for that with a kiss.
Every single day would go like that, but at night time was where the real action happened. In the middle of the night, when we were sure everyone was asleep, Dimitri would sneak into my room. No questions on how he got there. My ladies were fast asleep in their quarters, so we were completely safe. He would lie in my bed with me and we would kiss all night long. He would leave once the crack of sunlight would splash across my room. The feeling of someone bursting through the door brought anticipation and adventure to our kisses, like it was forbidden.
We had to be quiet. If we made noise or talked very loud, somebody would wake up and find us in bed together. And we certainly did not want them to get the wrong idea. We hadn't slept together yet, much to Adrian's amusement, and I felt a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I was keen on keeping myself clean and respectable and I couldn't possibly loose myself to a man that I hadn't even married yet. But then again Sydney and Adrian had done it and they loved each other, as I loved Dimitri. He certainly didn't push the subject of sexual activity every night when he was in my room. All we did was kiss. Nothing more.
Although I loved Dimitri more then my own life, I didn't know if I was even ready. Part of me wanted us to connect and become one, but the other parts denied it. I loved Dimitri and our relationship just the way it was. But still, I couldn't push the nagging voice in my head saying that I wanted more from him. We did love each other, so why not show it? I pushed this subject out of my head as I entered my room. Lissa and Mia were patiently waiting there with...Christian? One of Dimitri's men?
"Oh...hello." I said, fidgeting with my fingers.
"Morning, Princess." Christian greeted.
"Please, Christian. It's Rose. And good morning to you, too." I said as he flashed me a cheeky grin.
"Please excuse me." Christian apologized, glancing at Lissa. "I just came to see Lissa."
I nodded. "No worries. I was just checking in. Take as long as you need, Christian. I think I'll be out for a while." Then I turned to Mia and said, "Mia, why don't you go find Eddie? You two haven't seen each other in an awfully long time."
Mia smiled. "Thank you, Rose." She gave me a quick hug before scurrying towards the door.
I turned to Lissa and Christian. "I shall see you later then." I followed shortly outside in search for Dimitri. I didn't know why I was doing this, but I already had my plan into action. Step 1: complete. I had gotten my ladies busy so they wouldn't come looking after me. Step 2: find Dimitri. My first guess was that he was in his room. I knocked slightly on the big, brass door leading to his room. Luckily, he opened it, looking quite surprised.
I smiled up at him. "Hi," I said, standing on my toes to give him a full kiss on the lips.
"Roza," he said against my lips. He pulled away shortly and asked, "What are you doing here?"
I frowned. "You do not want me here?"
He shook his head vigorously. "No, of course I want you here. Come in." He stepped aside to let me in. Once I was in, he shut the door quickly. He turned around to face me and I attacked his lips. No question about it. So far, so good...
He kissed me back with an equal force as his arms encircled my waist. I grabbed his face in between my hands and brought him down to me, even closer. Heat and passion was burning within us as we both gasped for air.
We started to kiss again, but his tongue licked the bottom of my lip, asking for entrance, which I granted. His tongue explored my mouth, each and every inch, and I stifled a moan. Our tongues battled for dominance, and it was I who won.
I kissed him with all the love I was made of, but it still wasn't enough. I didn't know what in me wanted to do this, but it felt right. This felt right. I didn't care about rules of no sex before marriage. I loved Dimitri and he loved me. There were no rules regarding that.
I pulled away from him, slightly panting, as I led him over to his neatly made bed. We stood at the foot of it, his lips meeting mine again. I slid my hands down to his forearm, catching him off balance as I brought him down onto the bed with me.
I sighed dreamingly as he began kissing down my neck. Maybe he felt the same way. I think it was time. I'd waiting far too long.
I felt myself tug at the hem of his tunic, bringing it slightly above his stomach. My hands traced his perfectly toned muscles, tracing each plain and slope. He shivered under my touch. I smiled as he brought his lips back to mine.
Then, ever so carefully, I pushed his tunic up so it was nearly off. I rubbed my hands up and down his chest and he groaned in reply. I wrapped my legs tightly around him like a snake, wanting to get as much of him on me as possible.
I was just about to tug the shirt of him when he pulled back and stiffened. I looked at him in shock.
"Roza, we can't do this." He whispered.
"Dimitri..." I nearly whined. But I knew there was no point in arguing. When he put a stop to it, he had meant it.
"No, Roza." He said sternly, standing up and pushing his tunic back down. "We can't risk it."
A stab of rejection hit me like thunder. "W-What?"
He sighed. "We can't do this." He motioned back an forth between us. "It's not right."
Suddenly, anger boiled inside me and I felt like screaming.
"It's not right?" I said through gritted teeth. "Dimitri I thought when you put this ring on my finger that you promised a relationship based on love and trust. Nothing else. No restrictions."
"This is love and trust, Rose." He said, pain flowing through his eyes. "I love you and you know that. You don't know how much I want to push you down onto my bed again and make love to you. It's just that its too early, Rose."
"Love doesn't have limits." I spat at him.
"I know. But we're not married yet and we can't push that out of the way and think about ourselves. We both made commitments to stay pure and I certainly don't think you want to break it now. And I don't think you ready."
My jaw dropped open in offense. Steam bursted through my ears as I shouted, "I-I'm not ready? You can't tell me if I'm damn ready or not! Because I know that I'm already ready as hell. You love me, so why can't you show me? You are so safe, Dimitri. Why can't you be a little wild for once? If you can't show me, then I doubt your love for me."
This must have struck a nerve in his system. He was completely frozen in place. I must have saw a million expressions in his eyes. Hurt, love, pain. But I hadn't regretted what I had said.
Then, ever so coldly, he whispered, "Get out."
"Excuse me?"
"I said get out," he said with a little more force. He looked very mad.
Burning with rage, I stepped around him and headed for the door. Just a few steps away from the exit, I swiveled around and clutched my right hand. His back was turned away from me, clearly still frozen in place.
I slipped the ring he had given me and dropped it on the floor near my feet. It made a soft clatter, but I knew he had heard it.
"Here's your stupid ring back." I spat. "I don't know what I got myself into when I said I loved you." When he did not turn around, I ran out of his room and burst into tears. And there went my own life. Leaving Dimitri there was like a blast through my heart.
I didn't know how I felt. It was much like anger coursing through my veins, but intensified by a million. And I couldn't help but feel sad. I had never seen Dimitri that angry, and the way he said, "get out," was unbelievably horrific. But even through all my feelings, I knew I was right. I was ready to give myself to Dimitri because I loved him. Isn't that what two people did to show their love for each other?
I cried and cried my heart out in the hall until a shadow loomed over me. I expected it to be Dimitri, but instead it was Viktoria. She wore a concerned expression on her face. I hid my face from her view and she reached out to put a hand on my shoulder.
"Rose...what happened to you?" She asked.
I shook my head and wiped the hot tears away with the sleeve of my dress.
"Nothing," I told her.
"No. You're crying..." Viktoria bit her lip. "Come with me." She pulled me up to my feet and dragged me to the library. Nobody was here, thank goodness.
"Tell me what's wrong. Is it Dimitri? Did he do something?"
When I didn't say anything, she sighed. "Rose, whatever he did, I'm sure he didn't mean it."
"B-But he didn't do anything. It was all me." I soon came to realize that it was the truth. I was the main cause of his anger. If I only hadn't pushed the subject of sex further, we wouldn't be in this situation. I was so stupid. So stupid to realize that I liked the way our relationship was.
Viktoria smiled sadly down at me. "Well, it looks as if you need some cheering up. I was just about to meet some friends in the garden. Come with me?"
The garden. Definitely the place I did not want to go to. "I don't know...I think I shall go to the kitchen...I eat when I am upset." I said this with a sheepish grin. I wiped away the last of my remaining tears and looked up at her.
"Okay then." Viktoria said, patting my back. "Come to the garden if you want to see me." She was just about to leave when she looked back at me with soddened eyes. She hesitated before coming back to me. "Oh what the hell. You are my friend, Rose. I shall stay with you."
I sighed. "Viktoria, please. Go ahead and have fun with your friends. You've wasted enough time with me already."
"But how could I leave you here when you are sad? That is unlikely, Rose. Come, we will burn your pain with a fresh batch of pelmenis."
"What is a pelmeni?"
"It is a poached pastry with a meat filling. I think you will find it quite satisfying." She said with a smile. I sighed and followed her to the kitchen.
The royal chef and his staff were scurrying around the kitchen, preparing supper. A deep, spicy scent hit my nostrils and I couldn't help but swoon. Mmm...it smelled delicious!
"Mikhail." Viktoria called out smoothly at the chef. "Is it alright if we have a taste of your fine pelmenis?"
"Of course, Princess." Mikhail Tanner said. I had met him before; he usually came up to the dining hall to survey how well we liked his food. He was quite satisfied by me, of course, because I absolutely loved his meals. He passed by me and smiled. "I was just whipping up a batch for tonight."
Viktoria led me over to a small but subtle wooden table with four stools. I sat on one and Viktoria sat on another.
"Hopefully we won't spoil our supper." Viktoria commented. "But I am a sucker for a good story. So what really happened?"
"I told you, Viktoria, I really don't want to talk about it." I said, rubbing the temples of my forehead. "Right now all I want to do is drown away my sorrows."
Viktoria perked up at that. She slipped out of her seat for a moment to come back a second later with a full, open bottle of vodka.
"Where did you get that?" I had to ask.
Viktoria shrugged. "Here in Russia you can get your hands on anything. And its very typical to drink here. We drink champagne and wine during festivities, and we drink vodka to drown our sorrows and horrid memories."
"What is so so special about that particular vodka?" I asked, eyeing the bottle that was grasped in her possession.
"This is Russian vodka." She emphasized with a wide grin. "It's so strong it will knock you out in the first few sips."
Just what I needed. Something to take me away from the face of the earth. At least, for a few hours. I wanted to be completely free of my life, to be alone, and to have no problems holding me back.
"We will not get into any form of trouble?" I asked Viktoria finally.
She shook her head. "I told you, drinking in Russia is very typical. Just know when to stop yourself." She held the held the bottle out for me to take and I took it gratefully. I put my lips to the cold rim of the bottle and drank, swallowing everything that went into my mouth straight away.
And I almost spit out everything. The bitter taste of the Russian vodka took over my mouth, completely paralyzing it. It tasted toxic, the strongest thing I'd ever tasted. I held my tongue out in disgust, coughing out the brawny taste.
Viktoria laughed at my reaction and took the bottle from my hand, taking a sip for herself. She looked completely sane as if she hadn't tasted a thing.
"Didn't you think that was horrible?" I asked her, brushing my tongue with the top row of my teeth.
"Nope," she answered. "I'm used to it. It tastes powerful at first, and it still does, but I'm used to it so I don't get inebriated too fast." She eyed me with amusement as she passed the bottle to me again.
I took another big sip, and stuck my tongue out again. We took turns passing around the bottle, eating the pelmeni which Mikhail had brought over. Five minutes passed and I was a bit tipsy. I couldn't particularly think straight and every time I saw Viktoria, she had three heads. She sensed that I was quite drunk and took the bottle of vodka away from me.
"I think you've had enough," she told me. Then she led me to my room. I stumbled half the way, not knowing where I was going. The Russian vodka had really gotten to me, and its effects worked strongly.
I tripped inside my room with a rather tickled Viktoria following shortly behind me. She wasn't drunk at all, which didn't surprise me as much.
She told me to take quick nap and that she would come to wake me up for supper. I quickly complied and hit the bed faster then anything. During that time, I grew a little closer to sanity. I was still a bit woozy, but I could walk straight. Viktoria kept her promise and came back. We walked to the dining hall in silence, joking every so often about my overdose of Russian vodka.
Once we arrived, we were greeted by the whole entire family. And then I realized that Dimitri was here. Of course he was here. He didn't look up at our entrance. I felt a stab or sorrow and regret as I took my place next to him. It was quite awkward. We didn't make any conversation and it disappointed me when he dismissed himself from the table early.
I knew that our relationship had took a turn for the worst. I still couldn't believe the words I had said to him. All I wanted to do was be in Dimitri's arms, kiss all over his face, and forget everything we had gone through this morning. I wouldn't blame him if he never forgave me. What I said was unforgivable.
And I had ruined everything with Dimitri. I still loved him, of course I did. I would never stop. But would he love me after my sudden outburst in his room? I appreciated that he respected rules, and the truth was I liked the slow pace we were in right now. It made us us.
After supper, I headed back to my room. There was no point in going anywhere else except into a deep slumber. There was no looking forward to secret late night meetings with Dimitri.
I sat on my bed, stroking my hair that I had let loose from its messy bun. It had grew a bit longer over time so it touched the top of my waist. I remembered how Dimitri once told me he loved me hair. It's what made me me. And that was why he had loved me. He told me that he didn't care how beautiful I was, but how beautiful I was inside.
But I didn't know what he saw inside me now. He had no reason to love me. If only I could go back this morning and fix everything, we wouldn't be in this situation.
There was a shuffling sound from behind me and I turned my head towards the window. My heart was beating like crazy. Was it...? No, it couldn't be.
There was another shuffling sound and I saw a hand appear on the ledge of the window. I stood up from the bed and took slowly steps towards the window.
Suddenly, Dimitri appeared behind the thick glass of the window. He unlatched the lock that I always left open and climbed inside my room.
My heart was hammering inside my chest. He had actually came.
He closed the window tightly behind him and turned to face me. I was happy to see him at first, but then my face morphed to a look of sadness. Everything I had done to him...everything I had said.
He walked over to me with a blank expression. I couldn't read his face. When he stopped, we were so close, only about a foot away.
I didn't know what he was going to do. Confront me? Carefully, he reached out and took my hand in his. It was warm and so familiar.
I felt something cold slide onto my right hand. When I looked down, I soon realized he had slipped the ring back on my finger. I looked up at him in surprise and pure shock. He moved his hands to caress my face, his thumbs stroking the under my eyes. I blushed at his touch and shivered slightly.
Then, he leaned down slowly and kissed me. It was soft and sweet, a kiss that he rarely gave me. I stayed frozen in place as he continued kissing me.
When we both pulled away, our foreheads were still touching. I could hear the sound of both our ragged breathing after the amazing kiss.
He placed his hand on my shoulder on the sleeve of my dress. He gently pushed it down from my shoulder, leaving it completely bare. Then, if it were a dream, he finally spoke words that laced around his Russian accent.
"Don't make me regret this," he whispered.
Then, he began kissing my jaw, down to my neck.
! Ooh...what's Dimka talking about and what'll he do? And guess what's coming up in the next chapter?
Okay, now I promise this is the last update of 2010! I'm pretty sure I can't update this weekend because I'm hanging out my crush and his friends (he's coming back from Aspen on Thursday). We're seeing Yogi Bear on Saturday and on Sunday we're gonna watch a bunch of horror movies at his house. :)
Sorry if the ending is kind of rushed. I'm tired, its 11:00, and I wanna go to sleep. So I'll see you guys! Night!
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