The Perks of Being a Phantom Player

"Where there is much light, the shadows are deepest."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


A/N: I'm actually shipping Satsuki and Daiki so I don't like her for Kuroko.

I apologize (シ_ _)シ for the Black x Pink fans!

HONTO NI ARIGATOU GOZAIMASUヾ(@ー@)ノ for all the reviews so far.

Keep reviewing!:)

I am happy you are enjoying!

For the scenes: I know, I know, this is too cliché! But well, it's a pool! And it works every time.


Chapter 9

The Perks of Momoi Satsuki

*Full Metal Panic: Fumuffu

**Flame of Recca


June 26

Dear Friend,

I just wanted to tell you that I aced my mid-terms exams. I placed 78th / 308 (yay!) in the overall rankings among the freshmen. In case you thought I'm neglecting my studies for club activities, then I have to say you are wrong. I was so glad I did though, I really studied hard! Damn that Language test! My mom would eat me alive if I get grades lower than 80% - on any subjects! On the other hand, Taiga and Tetsu did average which was good.

Seirin Basketball Club resumed with their practice again. Aida-sempai is really focusing on the basics and she's training them like there's no tomorrow. It looked like hell! Aida-sempai is really a strict coach. Believe me. She's taking 'strict' to a whole new level.

She ordered Taiga to rest though, because apparently he suffered from a leg injury. His jump was too powerful; it could create a crater on the floor when he lands. I'm not kidding!

The infamous 'drill pool training' was scheduled today. It's actually done THRICE a week where the boys do footwork and muscle training in the pool early in the morning. That's very hard and cold. Aida-sempai's family own the sports gym that we've been using. Its ten minutes away from school.

While Aida-sempai wore the sports-type swimsuit, today I chose to wear the school-girl swimsuit. I just purchased the stuff online, it's the same swimsuit *Tessa wore.

"Maya, I think you are taking whatever you watch a bit too far." Aida-sempai said unsurely while looking at me.

"Huh? But boys like this stuff, right?! I figured it could boost some confidence in the team. Teehee!" I posed as I said this. Aida-sempai looked at me the same way she looked at Taiga, the idiot.

"No, you're pertaining to the different kind of boys. I think you see Japan for what it isn't." She said.

When we came to the pool area, the guys saw us and they all cried in joy.

"Whoa! Maya! Good choice!" Izuki-sempai, the one with the Eagle's Eyes, gave me a thumbs-up!

I grinned at him as I returned the thumb. Aida-sempai hit Izuki-sempai with the harisen in the head.

"Don't encourage her!"

Aida-sempai looked at the boys and shouted. "Double the sit-ups!"

"EH!" The boys complained.

They finished another 50.

And then she came.

Tetsu's self-proclaimed girlfriend! She has long pink hair, and as tall as Tetsu. Her face is freckled, her nose is pointy and she is cross-eyed! Her teeth are in gaps and she is fat! And most of all, her chest is too flat, there are no bumps whatsoever.

Yes, I'm sorry I'm lying! I do not intend to bash her or anything. Really! Ok, yes I do, but that was because she claimed to be someone she isn't! Except for her hair and height, everything I said about her is a complete lie! She is really pretty and very much blessed in the chest area! And she is wearing a blue bikini which has a more potent effect to the boys! Damn it! I should have worn the same! I feel defeated! I mean just look at her! Her boobs are way too big!

Why is life so unfair?!

"I'm Tetsu-kun's girlfriend!" She introduced herself and winked.

"Tetsu-kun?" All of us asked, just for confirmation.

"Kuroko Tetsuya-kun!" She clarified.

Silence. And then the boys cried in shock!

"Kuroko! You have a girlfriend?!" They asked simultaneously.

I glared at Tetsu. For some reason, I was annoyed.

"It's not true! She was the manager of our middle school team." Tetsu explained.

He got out from the pool and then the girl immediately hugged him. His head rested in her chest. That guy!

"Momoi-san, you're suffocating me!" Tetsu said in his deadpan expression.

"Tetsu, you liar! I knew it! Boys will always be pigs! You always chose the blessed! You damn piece of creatures!" I cried.

"I know you are telling that to Kuroko, but why do I feel insulted too." Hyuuga-sempai remarked.

"Why Kuroko?!" The boys asked.

"He gave me an ice cream!" Was her simple explanation. To this I snickered.

"Pshaw! He gave you an ice cream?! Tetsu already said you're not his girlfriend so stop with all your delusions!" I said mightily.

"Eh, so it's true that Maya-san is a bit rude." She said coolly.

"How do you know my name?!"

She giggled. "I knew all of you. Hyuuga-san, Izuki-san, Mitobe-san, Koganei-san, Tsuchida-san and the B-cup coach, Riko-san."

"That's not funny!" Aida-sempai said, scowling.

"Haha! So you're a B-cup Aida-sempai, I'm much bigger!" I laughed victoriously as I stuck out my chest for further emphasis.

Aida-sempai grabbed my neck and choked me. "What did you say, Maya?" She looked at me with her demon-eyes.

"I'm sorry Aida-sempai!" I apologized.

"Momoi-san, you're at Aomine's school, aren't you?" Tetsu asked her.

"Yes, I really wanted to be in the same school as you, but I don't know whatever troubles he'll get into, so I can't leave him alone." She said wistfully.

But because I am who I am, I butted in.

"Eh, if you can't leave this Aomine guy alone, then you better leave Tetsu. You can't look out for two people, right?!"

"Maya-san…" Tetsu chided.

"Eh, who is Tetsu-kun to you anyway?" She asked me, her eyes squinted into battle.

The question got me.

"Who is Tetsu? He is…" I can't say friend, because that would be my (further) defeat! Damn, I can't say boyfriend either because he is not! What on earth is he to me!

"He is…" I started.

A few seconds passed. Who is Tetsu to me?

"HE IS MY PERSONAL NINJA!" I declared loudly, my fist upper-cutting the air.

"Eh?" Everyone said.

"That's right! He is my personal ninja! Like **Recca!" I repeated with much confidence.

"What?!" Momoi-san asked me in confusion. "I don't get what you are saying, but it seems you're hogging Tetsu-kun all by yourself."

I took Tetsu by his arm, and chained my arms on his possessively. "Kukuku! Because Tetsu is mine!" I said like a witch.

"Maya-san, what are you saying?" Tetsu asked me.

I glared at him.

"Say something inappropriate and you're dead, Tetsu." I whispered so he was the only one who could hear.

He started perspiring.

"Whatever you say…" He said and then gulped.

I smirked at Momoi-san who was shaking in anger and probably defeat. (Hehe!) And then she pointed at me.

"I challenge you on who takes Tetsu-kun!" She cried.

"Momoi-san…"

"Kuroko, you lucky bastard! Die!" The other boys said to him.

"Guys..." Tetsu said.

"Bring it on!" I said.

"Maya-san, please think this through." Tetsu pleaded.

"Oho! Go, Maya!" Aida-sempai cheered.

"Aida-senpai, I thought you said not to encourage her." Tetsu reasoned.

"Kuroko, that doesn't apply to this situation." Aida-sempai said.

Momoi-san took away Tetsu from me.

"Let's decide on swimming!"

Shit, I don't swim well. She probably knows this already. This spy-woman!

"Ha! Don't go crying when I win." I bragged anyway. My nose started to get longer.

Momoi-san smiled knowingly. "I'm the one who's going to win, because my love for Tetsu-kun is greater than yours!"

I didn't exactly say I love Tetsu, but Momoi-san was so fired up, even I had the heart not to correct her. We prepared for the contest.

"Maya, are you sure about this? I thought you couldn't swim?" Aida-sempai, my ONLY ally (because the boys were staying neutral for their own survival), whispered to me. We were crouching at the far side of the pool.

"I don't swim well." I corrected Aida-sempai. "But don't worry, I got this!"

Hyuuga-sempai was the referee. After he pressed the starting pistol, Momoi-san immediately dived and swam to the other end of the pool. I can't do that of course. I'll get myself killed by drowning before I could even cover a few meters. I carefully descended into the pool and instead of swimming, I walked. After I reached the point past my maximum height (tiptoed and all), I made sure Momoi-san was already near the end. When she surfaced I started my act.

I started flailing my arms, dip my head a couple of times and shouted for help.

Yes, I'm pretending to drown.

"Wahgrbilsh! Help!" Dip my head.

"Hel…" Dip my head again. I waved both my arms for effect.

"MAYA!" The senpais shouted at me worriedly! And then from my peripheral vision I saw Koganei-sempai jumped and swam toward me. Ugh, it wasn't what I wanted! I completely submerged myself into the pool and waited for him. When I saw his face, I said "I'm so sorry, Koganei-sempai!" in the water (which I hope he heard or read), and put all my strength to punch him. With the water it was really hard, but my hand hit the face, and Koganei-sempai (water slow) lost his senses and floated.

"Wahh! Koganei, what happened?!" The boys said when they saw his floating body.

"Now you know not to involve yourself in girls' stuff!" Hyuuga-sempai said to everyone.

I resumed my drowning farce.

"TETSU! HELP ME!" I shouted, making sure the scene I wanted to happen will happen! Aida-sempai ran toward Tetsu with amazing speed and then pushed him at the pool. Tetsu has no choice but to swim after me.

When we resurfaced, I pretended to be unconscious. I could win an Oscar for this!

"Kuroko, give Maya CPR!" I heard Aida-sempai said. That was too much! But nice one, Aida-sempai!

"What!?" I heard Momoi-san protest.

"Eh, but Aida-sempai…" Tetsu said.

I peeked at the situation. They were all crowding around me.

"She's clearly faking it!" Momoi-san said defensively.

Aida-sempai took Tetsu's head and pushed it close to me, our lips just inches away. I wouldn't mind if my first kiss is Tetsu. I mean, he is giving me a CPR, ignoring the fact that I am pretending to need one. But because I'm not ready for it, I flinched. Momoi-san took Tetsu's head and stopped whatever was supposed to happen.

Waha! That was close! I closed my eyes completely again.

"What do you think you are doing, Aida-san?" Momoi-san asked grimly.

Aida-sempai: "Ohoho, I'm just giving Maya first aid."

Momoi-san: "Why does it have to be Tetsu-kun."

Tetsu: "Excuse me, but you're strangling me."

Aida-sempai: "Why wouldn't it be Kuroko?"

Momoi-san: "Other guys can do it."

Tetsu: "I can't breathe, Senpai, Momoi-san."

And then the boys pitched in. So much noise was happening that when I peeked, Tsuchida-sempai's face welcomed me. Momoi-san was pushing his face to me! Shocked, I instinctively punched Tsuchida-sempai.

I got up and realized what I did.

"Why does it have to be me?!" Tsuchida-sempai cried as he falls.

"Wah! I'm sorry Tsuchida-sempai!"

I stood to face Momoi-san. She and I had another face-off. There's too much dark aura in the background, plus the thunder and lightning. She's the dragon, I am the tiger.

"That was very dirty, Maya!" She said smiling. I can see a vein popping on her head.

"Ohoho, how dare you choose something you know I'm not good at?!" My vein was larger.

Hyuuga-sempai blew a whistle and then raised his arms in surrender. "I think this is getting out of hand. Let's give Momoi-san and Kuroko some time to talk since it seems that she travelled all the way here to see him, ok Maya?"

Since Hyuuga-sempai had the eyeglasses. I conceded.

"Tch! Ok, then." I said delinquently. I gave Momoi-san the "I'm-watching-you-with-both-my-eyes" hand gesture. Momoi-san stuck her tongue out to me.

So, Tetsu and Momoi-san talked. I swear Tetsu's eyes were zeroing on her chest like what the senpais were doing! When their conversation was over, and Momoi-san stood up, Tetsu's eyes zeroed on her butt! That idiot!

Ugh!

We changed into our school uniform already and Momoi-san said her goodbye.

I was smiling radiantly at her as if nothing happened. "Bye Momoi-san, it's nice meeting you!"

She laughed. She smiled prettily at me. "Nice to meet you too, Maya-san. Now that I talked with Tetsu-kun, I'll take my leave."

"Be careful, then!" I said, smiling.

"Yes, I will!" She said, smiling and started walking,

"Momoi-san!" Tetsu called. "I promise I'll win against Aomine."

It's easy to deduce that what Tetsu and Momoi-san's conversation was about the Generation of Miracles again. Everyone seemed to be obsessed about them. It's a little annoying already!

Momoi-san smiled back. "Hai!"

When all else were clear, I elbowed Tetsu in his side.

"What did I do?" He asked me while falling.

"Hmp!" I just said and followed the other guys back to school.

Well, anyway, I met another strange person in Tetsu's life. This time, it's their ex-manager! Momoi Satsuki is really pretty, I give you that.

Love Always, Maya.

PS. On the other side of the world, Taiga met Aomine – played with him, actually. He told us when he came for the afternoon meeting session. The moment he entered the gym though, he got busted by Aida-sempai. For once in my life, I was happy that someone could grab Taiga's head like how he could grab mine. God, I love Aida-sempai! She scolded Taiga without mercy.

"NOW I'M SENDING YOU TO THE INFIRMARY!" Aida-sempai growled. "MAYA, MAKE SURE HE WALKS WITH HIS TWO HANDS!"

"Eh!" Taiga complained.

"Why do I have to come with him?" I asked, but Aida-sempai glared at me.

And so I supervised. I'm really amazed that Taiga can carry himself with his hands given how big his body is. And then there was Tetsu. I'm getting used to his disappear-appear act already.

"What happened?" Tetsu asked. "You may be an idiot, but you're not the type of person to injure yourself without a reason!"

"Whoa, this is the first time I heard you called this idiot, idiot!" I remarked, awed.

"You two are really getting on my nerves." Taiga said as he stood up properly.

"I met Aomine." Taiga said.

"Eh! The Aomine-Aomine Momoi-san and Tetsu were talking about?" I said.

"Who's Momoi?"

"She's Tetsu's ex-girlfriend." I stated with irritation. "We also just met her this morning!"

"Eh, so you have a girlfriend." Taiga said to Tetsu.

"Tetsu liked big boobs." I stated.

"Maya-san…" Tetsu reproved.

"Is that so…" Taiga said nonchalantly.

"Why aren't you surprised?" I asked Taiga.

"Why would I be surprised?" Taiga asked back.

"Somehow, you are also irritating me." I said to him.

"Like I said, she's not my girlfriend." Tetsu reiterated.

"Whatever." I said.

"Anyway, Aomine…" Taiga continued with his story. "That guy said he was the light in your past. What happened between the two of you?"

Tetsu told his and Aomine's story. All I can say was Aomine Daiki is another weirdo from Tetsu's middle school. I am so fed up with weirdos! Ryo and Midorima are enough of a pain already and now him. Taiga, the usual, got worked up again. He and Tetsu fist-bumped like cool guys in the block.

It was so cheesy!

"We will win this! And make him come back to his senses." Taiga said.

"Tell that when your injury is healed, stupid." I said to him.

"I agree with Maya-san." Tetsu seconded.

"YOU TWO!"

"Now walk using your hands!" I ordered.

"Walk with your two hands or face Aida-senpai." Tetsu said.

"I'll remember this!" Taiga said as he scowled at us with his two eyebrows. And then he walked until the infirmary using his hands.