So that was the longest writer's block, right? My apologies. Here's a chapter after for-fucking-ever. Let me know what you think, and thank you for sticking with it.

Disclaimer: Characters from Glee belong to the one and only Ryan Murphy.


Peering over her shoulder I say, "I never knew you had a knack for drawing, Quinn. You're quite good."

Never looking up from her drawing she replies, "thanks, Rach." I sit next to her on the bench, hands folded in my lap, ankles crossed. She must sense my nerves because she puts down her journal and pencils, and turns her body to face me.

"What's up, Rach? I can practically hear you thinking."

I contemplate not telling her what's on my mind but Quinn is my best friend. We tell each other everything. I turn to mirror her and say, "I need to tell you something, but I'm unsure of what your reaction will be because of your quarrel with James that occurred last week, however seeing that you are my best friend and I feel that as best friends we should be able to discuss anything with each other and furthermore-"

"Rachel! You're rambling," she tells me with a chuckle. Oh. I sit back into my previous position. "Just tell me what's on your mind. No judgements."

Okay. I can do this. "Quinn, I must confess that I told James some details of our past. Mostly our high school days." I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting with anticipation for her to yell at me. When I'm met with silence I slowly peer over to see that her whole body has tensed up and that her eyes are shut tight. Shit.

Struggling to contain herself she says, "what...what did you tell him?"

"I told him about h-how you...you know...taunted me for most of freshman and sophomore year-"

"Dammit, Rachel," she mutters. "Why would you-"

"I also told him about how we kind of became friends in the end of our high school careers though!" Please don't be mad at me. Please.

With an exasperated sigh she shuts her eyes tightly, brows furrowed, and turns to sit correctly on the bench. The silence is killing me but I know she needs it right now.

A moment later she relaxes and faces me once again.

"I'm not mad you, Rach. He was-or I guess is your friend," she tells me. "I just wish you hadn't told him."

"I-I don't know what to say, Quinn, other than I'm sorry."

Giving my shoulder a light squeeze she reassures me that it's okay, that we're okay, and to not worry about it. I can't help but let go a sigh of relief. We're okay. After a long amount of silence Quinn spoke. "So, Rach, have you had any visitors yet?"

"No, not yet. I get weekly emails from dad and daddy, but I've yet to hear from anyone else. Plus, I don't think I'm quite ready to face anyone just yet." My eyes drift down to the scar on my wrist. I feel so ashamed. It's so ugly, hideous. I can't stand it! I can feel myself shaking; I can feel myself slipping away.

"Rach," everything halts when Quinn's right hand covers my wrist, my scar. My eyes to drift to hers, "I get it."

I close my eyes, and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. It's when I feel a hand hold my face, and a thumb rub against my cheek that I realize I had been crying. I lean into the touch as my lip begins to quiver. It's when I hear her softly say, "oh, Rachel," that I lose it. I squeeze my eyes shut, but I can't stop the tears. Her hand leaves my face in which I begin to cry into my own. I hear things being moved around me, next thing I know Quinn has her arms wrapped around my torso with her chin on my shoulder.

"It's okay, Rach. It's okay," is what she whispers over and over as I continue to cry, making a mess of tears on her shirt. Only when the tears subside does she tuck my fallen hair behind my ear. I try to wipe away the remnants of my tears but she turns my face, and does it for me.

"Feel better?"

With a small nod I reply with a yes. "I'm pretty tired now."

"I bet," she says with a small chuckle. "Let's get out of here, and take a nap."

As she begins to stand and collect her belongings I remind her about the rules, that we can't nap together.

"It's a nap, Rachel. If they have a problem with two friends taking a nap together, then they're gonna have an even bigger problem." She grabs a hold of my hand, and leads me to her room. She never lets go of my hand the entire trip. Only when we get to her room does she let go, and that's only to usher me inside. She kicks off her converse, and I do the same with my flats. It's when she's laying on her bed, hands behind her head, waiting for me to join her that I realize I'm about to cuddle with Quinn Fabray.

"What? Like it's a big deal? Friends cuddle, Rach." I must've said that last part out loud. Shit.

As I move to lay down beside her I say, "it's not a problem at all, Quinn. I just figured, given your upbringing that you wouldn't be comfortable with this, however I can see that I was mistaken" I finish as she wraps her right arm around me. I lay my head on her chest, and hand on her abdomen. I feel the muscle twitch underneath.

"Screw my upbringing. I'm obviously a different person. They don't have any influence on me anymore," she says with conviction. I can't tell if she's said so for me or for herself. I let it go.

"Thank you, Quinn," I whisper.

"Anytime and always, Rach."


I can't believe I actually took a nap with her. There are rules here, Quinn. You can't just break them. This is your last chance at getting it right. Shit, here comes Sam. He doesn't look happy.

"Where the hell have you been," he grunts as he takes the seat across from me. He starts helping me put together the puzzle I've been working on.

"Nowhere," I say as I fit another piece into the puzzle. "Why do you ask?"

It doesn't look like he's too good with puzzles because he's concentrating way too hard for a 250 piece puzzle.

"I'm asking because I've been dodging Addison and James for you all morning."

I can't help but roll my eyes. Who knew there would be so much drama in rehab.

"James can fuck off for all I care," he finally got a piece to fit. Oh my god. What a puppy. "What did Addison want," I ask with a breathy chuckle.

With a stupid little grin on his face he tells me, "Addison wants to know if you, and I quote 'boned Berry, yet?' So Quinn, did you?" That stupid little grin is now a stupid little grin that I smack off his stupid little face.

"I'm going to quote myself, Sam, ready? Fuck. Off." Why is everyone so goddamn nosing? Goddamn it, I bent the puzzle piece. Calm down, Q.

Noticing what I just did, Sam cautiously says he's sorry, that he was kidding, but is actually concerned because both Rachel and I were gone for a long time this afternoon.

"We were in my room taking a nap," I tell him reluctantly, puzzle forgotten.

His eyes look like they're about to pop out of his head. "Quinn! You can't do that!"

"I know, okay? I know," I sigh, and pinch the bridge of my nose. "It just happened, Sam."

"What do you mean it just happened," he exasperates. I tell him to shut it down, "people are looking at us."

His shoulders relax some, "sorry. But seriously, Q, what the fuck? You can't just sleep with her, or anyone for the matter. There are rules here. You'll get kicked out if you get caught." Does he actually care about me? What have I done to deserve this kid in my life?

I explain the situation to him: James knowing private details of my life, Rachel feeling guilty, Rachel's sadness, Rachel crying. "I know I fucked up by having her stay in my room, but…it felt right. I'm trying to get it right with her, Sam."

I can tell that he wants to dive deeper into this whole thing, but he doesn't. However he ends our conversation, and finishes our puzzle with, "just be careful, Quinn. Not just with Rachel, but also with yourself." How can he walk away after saying that? I watch his retreating form leave the room, and once again I'm left alone with my thoughts. I can only assume that he knows I've got a thing for Rachel. God, am I really that obvious? Well I can't be if she hasn't noticed after all this time, after all these years. He's right though. I have to be smarter about this, or else everything's gonna go to shit. Recovery, my friendship with Rachel, my heart… I need to get it right.


Rachel bear,

It's your fathers. Well, it's dad. Your father is out working in the garden. He's putting in some new daises, your favorite flower! Anyways, how has your week been? Have you been able to keep your workout regimen? Or have you created a new one? Or have you forgone working out altogether? That's a lot of questions all at once, sorry dear. I'm just concerned about my little star. One more question though. How's treatment going?

Your father and I are doing well. I got that promotion I've been hoping for. Your dad is now a partner at Williams & Winston's Law Firm. They've got me busy as ever, but you know I love to keep busy. You'll never guess what's happening in the office. Ronald and Lisa are finally dating! They haven't come out (ha ha) about their relationship, but it's quite obvious. Ron has always been so smitten with her, it was bound to happen. Henry has decided to quit smoking for the eighth time this year. Let's hope he sticks with it this time.

Enough about my life, I recently chatted with some of your friends. Actually I just chatted with Kurt, and he updated me about the others. Kurt and Blaine are doing well. They've recently adopted a puppy, a black Labrador. His name is Duke, and he is just the cutest little pup. I've attached the photo Kurt sent me just below. Super cute, Right? I'm still trying to convince your father to let me get one #lol. Is that how that whole hashtag thing works? Anyways. Norah is doing just fine. Kurt says she been more awkward and clumsy than usual so that means she's seeing someone? Not sure about that correlation but whatever. Kurt says he'll get to the bottom of it.

Your father and I miss you dearly, Rachel bear. We hope to hear from you soon.

With all my love,

Dad

I'm so grateful for being able to use my laptop in the privacy of my room, because I can't believe I'm crying yet again. I honestly don't know why I'm crying right now. I think I'll mention this in my next sessions. Well, not in group. This is more personal. After reading the email twice I'm finally able to write a reply.

Hi dad.

You're right, I have just been bombarded with questions. However I will answer them to the best of my ability. My week has been interesting to say none the least. I've had to forgo my workout regimen but fear not, I have found a new exercise that I find to be very helpful especially now: yoga. And treatment is going well, I suppose. Of course I'm attending all of my sessions, but I'm not sure if progress is being made… I'm not in the same headspace that I was when I first arrived, so that's something.

I'm so proud of you! I knew you'd get that promotion, you earned it. And yay, for Ronald and Lisa! I can't believe they've wasted all these years thinking the other didn't feel the same. I'm glad they're finally together though, and I hope they're able to come out (hardy har har. Good one dad) with their relationship sooner rather than later. Please tell Henry I wish him good luck on his cancer-stick free life.

Could you please remind Kurt that he is more than welcome to email me? I miss talking to him, and I'd like to do so directly. Not that I don't love hearing this all from you, but you know what I mean, right? Anyways, Duke is super cute! Daddy needs to let you get a puppy soon! I'm going to ignore the whole hashtag thing, dad. #NoThatsNotHowItWorksButImGoingToLetItSlide #iloveyou I'm glad to hear that Kurt, Blaine, and Norah are doing well. Please tell them to write me!

Would you believe me if I told you that there's drama in rehab? Well there is and it's unsettling. But I'm okay, it's not getting to me. I'm okay. Remember when I told you that J was starting to become a close confidant? I guess there was a confrontation between the two, and J made some personal jabs at Q. Q says I shouldn't trust him. I think I'll be a bit more careful with the information I share and who I share it with… I will however protect my friendship with Q no matter what. It's disheartening to hear that J would do such a thing. Here's something positive; the staff, and patients are taking a trip to the beach on Friday! I'm so excited! It's been years since my last visit to the beach. Plus after everything that's happened, it would be nice change of scenery.

Please give dad my love, and please, please tell my friends to write.

Love,

Rachel