A/N: I started writing this chapter while listening to "Awake to You" by Patient 113, so I imagine this playing during the first scene here. Enjoy!

=0=

It's been a while since I've tossed and turned in the middle of the night. Most nights at school I was either so drunk or high that I passed out, or I was studying and working that whole day. Maybe I'm just trying to adjust back home. To be honest though, a lot of shit has been going through my mind lately. I've been thinking where I see myself within the next few years. What kind of job I'd have, if I'd be dating someone, or even married. Will I even keep in contact with most of my friends now? Like Hayner, Pence, Tidus, Wakka, or even Namine. I don't know why these thoughts have been going through my head but they have. I'm usually a "live in the moment" type of guy, so it's pretty odd.

I grab my phone and look at the time: 2:15am. It's Christmas Eve. I remember the days when I use to look forward to Christmas. Now that I'm older, the whole Christmas feeling just kind of wore off. It's not even about family anymore, it's just about what present you get.

I sigh as I sit up and swing my legs over my bed. It's pretty cold when my feet land on the ground. I should be wearing more than a t-shirt and boxers but fuck it. If anything, I really like the cold. I walk around my room and start looking at everything: the three skateboard decks on my wall, a few vinyl records next to my turntable, an acoustic guitar, and a wall with some posters and photos.

I walk over to the wall and observe the photos. There's one of me, Axel, and my mom about five years back at some family party. Axel looks so stoned here; I couldn't help but softly chuckle to myself. I hadn't even started smoking at this time yet. Another photo displayed me skating off a ramp like three years back, when I was really into skating. I look at the next photo, where it showed me, Hayner, Pence, and Olette hanging out at the old Usual Spot. This was around two years ago I think. It feels a lot longer. We all looked so happy back then.

A soft smile crept on my face as I focus on me and Olette, just sitting next to each other. I haven't thought about her in a while, which I guess was a good thing. I do wonder how she's doing though, aside from the break-up with Zack.

Suddenly, my phone goes off, alerting me of a text. Who is texting me this late? I walk over to my bed and grab it. It was Kairi.

You up?

I sit on my bed and read it over a bit. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about Kairi lately. I mean, I've only known her for a few months and it feels like years. I reply back.

Yeah. Can't sleep?

Nope lol how's your break so far?

It's been nice. Yours?

Pretty fun! Been exploring this town a bit.

I lie back down and reread the text. I'm surprised I haven't seen her and Namine all break. I feel like I should hang out with them soon, I feel bad. Then an idea struck me. I start replying.

Hey, are you and Namine free tomorrow at noon?

Should be. Why?

=0=

"KICK HIS FUCKING ASS HAYNER!"

Pence and I continued to scream vulgar comments while Hayner continued to swing at Vivi. The crowd continued to cheer him on.

Every Christmas Eve, the Sandlot holds an annual struggle match with a few of the town's local. Usually Hayner and I both sign up, but I just wasn't feeling it this year. Didn't mean I didn't enjoy the show any less.

"Damn, he's kicking his ass!" Pence comments.

"You know Hayner. He's always gets super into these fights" I tell him.

"Roxas! Pence!"

We both look to our left and see Namine and Kairi walking through the crowd in the distance.

"Holy shit, that's Namine's cousin?" Pence asked, shocked.

I nod my head as the two approach us.

"Hey! Sorry we're late" Namine apologizes as she gives me a hug.

"No worries" I assure.

As Namine parts to hug Pence, Kairi and I do the same.

"You finally getting use to the cold?" I ask.

"I'm getting there" she shivers.

The crowd goes crazy, causing us to quickly turn to the stage. Hayner was on his back and Vivi was wailing on him.

"Come on pussy, fight back!" I shout.

"Kick his ass Hayner!" Namine shouted.

I chuckle at Namine making such a comment. She rarely swears so it's funny.

Before Vivi can land another hit, Hayner quickly lifts his foot, blocking the bat. He pushes up, throwing Vivi back. And before can gain his/her balance (still can't tell), Hayner goes in and swings hard, knocking him to the ground.

"3… 2… 1!"

Vivi doesn't get up and the crowd goes wild.

"FUCK YEAH!" Pence and I shout.

Namine and Kairi cheer and clap with the rest of the crowd. Axel gets on stage and walks towards Hayner. I always forget he works here.

"And the winner is Hayner!" he shouts, causing the crowd to go wild again.

Hayner seemed pretty satisfied but also tired. He has a bruise across his cheek but he'll live. He walks over to Vivi and helps him up. Good thing those two at least have good sportsman ship.

After all the cheering died down, the crowd started to disperse as the matches were over. Hayner walked over to us, with his champion belt over his shoulder.

"Congrats man!" Pence told him.

"Thanks"

"You look exhausted" Namine comments.

He nods.

"Honestly, all I want to do is get drunk right now"

We all chuckled at his comment.

"I say we all go down to the Kingdom Key and grab a few beers" I suggest.

"So down!" Hayner immediately shouted before running off.

=0=

After Hayner went home to shower, we headed to the Kingdom Key and did as we planned. I was already a few beers in so I was feeling pretty good. Namine actually had two but since she's a light weight, she started feeling pretty drunk really quick. It was obvious with her constant giggling. Hayner was already drunk. He went off saying stupid old stories about the old high school days.

"Mr. Turner was honestly one of the best teachers in that shithole to be honest" Hayner slurred.

"What? Hell no! That guy was a dick" Pence argued.

"You only don't like him because you were always late and he'd give you detention for it"

"So? He did the same to you!"

Hayner thought for a moment. His expression suddenly went from confused to giggly.

"Oh yeah. You're right, fuck Mr. Turner!" he practically shouted.

We all started laughing at his comment. As our laughter died down, we all noticed Axel walking towards us. He must've finally finished clearing the Sandlot.

"Finally" I tell him.

He sits across from me, right next to Hayner.

"Sorry, it took a lot longer than expected. Where's the bartender?" he asks.

"Dealing with other customers"

He looks over at the bar and sees that there are more people than usual over there.

"This is why I hate the holidays" Axel sighs.

"Well I was gonna go fight for a beer anyway so I'll get you one too" I offer.

"Oh thanks"

"See? Roxas can be a nice guy when he wants to" Hayner tells him.

I flip him off before getting up and walking over there. To be honest, I just needed to get away from the table. I don't know what's been going on with me lately. It's like something is weighing down on me. I can't tell what it is though. I'm just trying my best to brush it off.

"Roxas"

I turn and see Namine rush over to me, almost knocking me down.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, just wanted to keep you company" she giggles.

"You're so cute when you're drunk" I tell him.

"Stop you're making me blush" she says, shoving her face into my arm.

I chuckle before turning back to the bar, trying to get the bartenders attention. It was a new one I haven't seen before. Where was Braig? Probably on vacation for the holidays.

I wave at the bartender, but she just holds up her finger and tells me to wait a minute. I sigh.

"So, what are your plans for tomorrow?" Namine asks.

"Just dinner with the family. Nothing special. What about you?"

"Same. Dad is also gonna drag me and Kairi to some "work party" of his, so that should be loads of fun" she says sarcastically.

"Hey, at least you'll have Kairi to keep you company"

"Yeah, I bet you'd want her to keep you company" she slurs.

Wait, did she know?...

"What are you talking about? I chuckle.

"I notice you two getting a bit closer"

"We're not that close"

"Close enough to go to a Thanksgiving dinner with her"

"I was just doing her a favor"

"I don't know, you never do me favors like that" she slurs.

"Yes I do!" I defend.

"Like what?"

"Like that one night I helped you go shopping for those art supplies at school"

"That's not a favor!"

"It so is! Or that one time I took you home after you got shitfaced at the Twilight Festival"

"Ohmygod, I forgot about that" she giggles.

"Yeah, that's a pretty big favor"

She continues giggling, causing me to chuckle softly.

"I missed you Roxas"

I shoot her a confused look.

"What are you talking about? You see me every other day"

"Well yeah, but it's just not the same"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

Suddenly the bartender approaches us.

"Hi, how can I help you?"

I quickly look back at Namine before giving my attention to the bartender.

"Uh, a pitcher of Sparrow"

She looks at Namine.

"And for you?"

"I'm fine, thank you"

The bartender smiles before walking off.

"Sorry, what did you mean about missing me?" I ask.

"Forget it, it's stupid"

"No, tell me" I plead.

"Someone's desperate" she giggles.

"Not desperate, just curious. Come on, you can't just peak my curiosity and then shut it down" I tell her.

"Okay fine, it's just embarrassing"

"I won't laugh" I assure.

She smiles at me, causing me to smile back.

"Well, we use to be a lot closer when we first met. Like our times up at Sunset Hill, or when we hung out at the festival. I just… I miss that"

She looks down in embarrassment. She's super honest when she's drunk.

"I'm sorry. You and I have just been so busy with school and shit"

She looks back up.

"I know"

"But hey, we're halfway through the school year. When summer comes around again, we'll be hanging out like old times" I assure her.

She smiles wider.

"Really?"

"Of course"

She holds out her pinky.

"Promise?"

I tangle mine with hers.

"Promise"

In that moment, the bartender walks back at hands me the pitcher.

=0=

After we all finished our drinking and shit-talking, we decided to all leave. Axel stayed back as he was meeting up with someone. I think a new girlfriend or something. As we walked out the bar, we realized how dark it was.

"Holy shit, what time is it?" Pence asks.

I look at my phone.

"8:13pm"

"Five hours of straight drinking" says Hayner.

"What's the plan now?" I ask.

"I'm gonna head home. I'm so fucking tired" Hayner whines.

"Same here honestly" Pence adds.

I look over at Namine.

"I'm gonna head home too. I need sleep"

"Alright. Might as well head out too"

"Guess I'll see you guys sometime after Christmas" Hayner says before we hug.

"Merry Christmas" I tell him.

"Same to you"

We all say our "Merry Christmas" and goodbyes before heading our separate ways. I start to walk away. It wasn't until now when I realized how drunk I was.

"Roxas!"

I turn around and see Namine run towards me once again.

"What's up?" I ask.

She starts digging through her purse.

"I won't be able to see you tomorrow, so…"

She pulls out a small green and red box.

"I thought I'd give you your gift early"

I slowly grabbed the box.

She got me a gift? Wow, I feel so shitty. I didn't get anyone anything this year. Fuck.

I just kinda stared at it.

"Well go on, open it. It's freezing!"

I open the small box and inside was a silver chain. I pulled it out of the box and at the end of the chain was a silver cross. Or an "X" depending how you look at it.

"Wow, I don't know what to say"

"A thank you would be nice" she giggled.

I look up at her.

"Thank you so much Namine"

I pull her into a tight hug. I was honestly so lucky to have her as a friend. She really does care about me. More than anyone else I know. I'm so thankful for that. She hug back tightly too.

I'm not really sure on my feelings towards Namine. I'm not sure if I really like as a friend or more. But I don't wanna dwell on those thoughts. I'm just happy she's in my life honestly… fuck, booze turns me into such a sap.

I look up and see Kairi waiting in the distance. She's been awfully quiet today. I can't exactly read her. I kind of feel bad because I invited her to hang out and we've barely talked. I wonder what's on her mind?

Namine and I pull apart.

"I'll take it as you really like the gift" she tells me.

"I love it. I just feel bad because I didn't get you anything"

"I figured. It's fine though" she says, smiling.

Her smile is so goddamn contagious.

=0=

It was Christmas day.

Most Christmas' are a big deal for a lot of people. But for my family, we just kind of sat around the house and open presents until dinner. I ended up getting clothes from my parents and a new bowl and a lighter that says "My Fucking Lighter" from Axel, which was honestly perfect. I couldn't wait to try it out later.

When dinner came around, my parents, Axel, and I were all just catching up on what we've been up to for the past few months. None of our other family members decided to come join us because well… we really just don't like the rest of our family much. They're just selfish and annoying but that's a whole other story.

My dad was telling us how he had plans to retire early from his job. After all these years, he can finally just sit back and relax. My mom ended up getting a promotion at her job, meaning more money. She's even talking about the possibility of selling the house and moving within the next year or so, but who knows.

"That's great news mom, really" I told her.

"Thank hun!"

"So Axel, when are we gonna meet this new girl of yours?" my dad asks.

"Yeah, when are we gonna meet her?" I add.

"Wait, new girl?" my mom asks.

"He didn't tell you? Axel here has been seeing someone"

"Who is she? What's she like? Why didn't you invite her to dinner?"

Axel sighed heavily as I chuckled.

Though Axel may just be my cause, my mom will treat him just like one of her own.

"We just started seeing each other, it's nothing serious Lily"

"Well still, I'd like to meet her" my mom insisted.

"What about you son? You seeing anyone?" my dad asks.

Now all eyes were on me. Thanks dad.

"No, I'm just focusing on work and school. Don't really have time for that" I answered.

I did have time to bang a girl in a relationship, my friend's cousin, and an old fling though. Along with an adventurous night with a coke dealer… but I'll leave those details out.

"That's good honey. I'm glad you're focused on school a lot more now" my mom tells me.

"What can I say? I've grown"

Axel shoots me a smug look as I give myself a mental pat on the back.

After our Christmas dinner, my parents decided to go to bed early. I told you, Christmas in our house isn't much of a big deal anymore. Axel and I decided to hang out in the backyard for a while. We were having a few beers while I was also testing my new pipe.

Inhale. Exhale.

"It hits so smooth" I tell him.

"That's what the clerk told me"

"Where'd you get it?"

"Chocobo's. The shop all the way at East Twilight Town"

Where Serah lives. I wonder if she's down for the break too.

"Nice. Thanks again"

"No problem"

I put the pipe down at the table next to me and grab a beer.

"This has probably been the most simple Christmas ever" I commented.

"Right. It's actually the first time I've celebrated Christmas in a while"

"Really?"

"Yeah well, I was in jail last year so I couldn't really celebrate much"

He had a point there.

"And all the previous years I was just out and about doing stupid shit with Snow or whoever. So, it's nice to be with family for once" he finished.

I never thought of it that way. Some people don't ever get to celebrate with family. Makes me think about how I shouldn't take what I have for granted.

"Have you talked to your parents?" I asked.

"I try. They still don't answer. I left them voicemails saying Merry Christmas though"

"Are they seriously still not talking to you?"

"Looks like it"

I stare at him for a moment. I can't imagine what he's feeling. When my mom is mad at me, I feel bad. Both his parents refuse to talk to him so it must be worse.

"Well fuck them. Your parents sucked anyway" I say before taking a sip.

He just laughs.

"I guess they do. But whatever, at least I have you guys"

"Of course Axel"

We raise our bottles and do a little cheer before taking a sip.

"Hey, where'd you get the necklace?" Axel asks.

He points to my chest where Namine's gift shows.

"Oh, it's a gift from Namine"

"Nice! It looks good"

"Thanks. I felt bad because I didn't get her anything" I chuckle.

"I'm sure you'll think of something"

I take another sip.

"Be honest: do you like her?" he asks.

I don't blame him for asking. It seems like I do.

"I'm not sure. I think I'm just glad that I have a friend like her. Someone that cares about me a lot" I explain.

"What are you talking about? You got me and Hayner and Pence"

"Yeah, but she's different. I don't know how to explain it"

He looks at me for a moment.

"I understand I guess. I had someone like that once"

"Oh yeah. Who?"

"Some girl that use to hang with me and Snow. You don't know her. But, her and I were close. It was nice"

"What happened to her?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"No clue honestly. One day I woke up and she was gone. It sucks because we didn't leave off on the best terms"

Fuck, I never realized how much Axel has gone through. I always wanna ask about his times with Snow and all that illegal business but I just don't. All I can say is…

"I'm sorry man"

He smirks.

"Don't be. Shit happens. You can't live in the past lil' cuz. You always have to move forward" he tells me.

I smirk.

"That was deep" I say.

"Eh, I try"

We both chuckle as we take another sip of our beers.

=0=

A/N: Thought I'd give a little more back story on Axel. I like his character even though there isn't a lot of him. I'm actually pretty excited to write the next chapter. I don't wanna say much, so you'll just have to wait (which shouldn't be long). It's gonna be fun. But until, let me know what you thought of this chapter! Take care.