The Fantastic Horror of the Disembodied Gun
Chapter Nine
So pleased was I to find Sherlock Holmes safe and well after my agonies of torment that I near shouted my joy for all the world to hear. Such a reaction, however, would have alarmed us both, not to mention the residents of the street, and therefore I settled for a hearty clap on his shoulder to reassure myself that he was not a ghost and a demand to know how long he had been at liberty.
"All in due course," said he, smiling. "You are inquisitive as ever, my friend."
"I think I'd like to know too, Mr Holmes," said Lestrade.
"And of course you shall. I have been exceedingly busy and I was obliged to abandon you to your own devices for far too long. Come, Watson, let us make amends over the Christmas repast. You too, Lestrade, your home and hearth are waiting."
"Now just wait one minute, Mr Holmes," said the Inspector, trying to resist these unsubtle attempts to deter his interest. "We had word that you'd been kidnapped by a gang who was threatening to deprive you of life and liberty if Dr Watson here didn't give them some whatnot he was alleged to have in his possession."
"Ah, that," mused Holmes. "Nothing more than a misunderstanding, I assure you."
"A misunderstanding?" Lestrade echoed. "You might put it like that."
"I do. It was an error for which I apologise most sincerely. I trust you were not too inconvenienced. Then let us not compound one mistake with another. I have two cabs waiting. I have directed one to deliver you to your front door, Lestrade, in time enough to join your family. The fare is paid – consider it a small token of my appreciation for the time you have expended on my behalf. Good day to you, Inspector, and compliments of the season."
"Yes, well, I suppose it'll have to do," said Lestrade, grudgingly as Holmes closed the cab doors on him. "I'll be seeing you, Dr Watson. I expect we'll get to the bottom of these goings-on one day."
Barely had the cab clattered away down the road than Holmes was urging me into the other waiting hansom.
"This is all very well," I said, "but I think you owe me an explanation."
He rapped his cane on the roof. "Pall Mall, cabby. You know the address."
"We aren't going home?"
"No," said he, releasing a long sigh as he settled into his seat. "It has been a busy morning, Watson, and I fear the day is not over yet. No rest for the wicked, my dear fellow." He smiled fleetingly. "We have work to do before we may say that we have earned our daily bread. Or, in this instance, turkey."
"You've been back to Baker Street, I see."
"I fear it was necessary. I had hoped to find you there, but instead I fell prey to Mrs Hudson's reprimands. She seems to be under the impression that I have been staying away deliberately. Would that last night I could have been in my own bed!"
"I imagine that being set upon my Mr Matthew's thugs was an unpleasant experience." The angry blush to his left cheekbone told its own story. "What did happen to you yesterday?"
A self-satisfied expression settled upon his features. "You surmise correctly, Watson. It took the better part of the day, for they were slow in rising to the bait. Nightfall came before they made their move. A scuffle was necessary to give the thing credibility. It is expected, after all. An effortless capture is as discouraging as the hardest fought battle. You may rest assured that we fairly traded blows," said he, chuckling as he made an airy gesture to his cheek. "I fancy they may be feeling the effects long after my bruises have faded."
"Do you mean to say," I interjected, "that you wanted to be kidnapped?"
"Indeed, I anticipated it. In such cases, it is always better to be prepared. I gave them ample opportunities throughout the course of the day in the hope that we could be done with the business before the evening. But there, such things are sent to try our patience."
"But, Holmes, what was the purpose of the exercise?"
"It was for your benefit, my dear fellow. I am sorry to disappoint you, Watson, but you must rid yourself of the delusion that you made your escape that night. Anyone in your condition could not have eluded their captors with any degree of success. No, it was evident to me that you had been allowed to escape. They did not believe your innocence in the affair, even after the application of alcohol to loosen your tongue. The expectation must have been that your next move would have been to secure the document or object that Croxley had entrusted to your care. Once they were sure you had it, you would have been the subject of further, possibly fatal, assaults on your person. I precluded that possibility by confining you to the Diogenes Club, thus forcing them to take the next logical course of action – threats of violence against one of your associates. Naturally, that would be me."
"Naturally," I said with a smile, which Holmes returned.
"Having gained access to the elusive Mr Matthew, I was able to explain the situation to him, and to hear his side of the tale. It may mollify you to know that he is genuinely contrite and hopes you will not press charges. I gave him your assurances on that point."
"You had no right to do so," I said, hotly.
"Under the circumstances, it would prove embarrassing to certain parties. The case would never reach court. You may depend on Mycroft to see to that."
"Then I am expected to do nothing?"
"I have suggested to Mr Matthew that some small reparation is in order."
"That is hardly sufficient, Holmes."
"You may change your mind once you have heard his part in this sorry tale."
"Which is? As I understand it, he has Professor Croxley in his power."
"He does not. You misunderstood him, Watson. His command of English as his second language is near flawless, but he has yet to master the subtle inflection that turns a statement into a question. What you heard as 'we have him' should have been 'we have him?' You appreciate the difference, of course. He no more has Croxley than does the British government. Matthew's role has been one of observer. He had his own reasons for keeping the Professor under close watch. It was one of his men who followed Croxley that night, incompetently, since his presence was detected even with the assistance of the fog. Given subsequent events, you will understand why he sprang to the conclusion, erroneous though it proved, that the brief contact between Croxley and yourself was something more than happenstance."
What Holmes had said was impeccable in its logic, except for one detail. "If that is the case, then why did I receive a ransom note for your release?"
"Ah, yes. Mr Matthew was precipitous in sending that. As I could not attend personally, he assured me that you would be met at the appointed hour and satisfied as to my safety." His expression changed. "I must confess to being disappointed, Watson. I had thought you might at least turn up, considering the gravity of my situation."
"But I did, and Lestrade with me. I invented a document and gave it to the man. We then gave chase, but did not catch him. In fact, he shot at Lestrade and ruined his hat."
A smile slowly creased the corners of his mouth. Then Holmes threw back his head and laughed. "Dear me, this is a tangled web. Matthew's man was there at midnight, by which time according to your story you had already left. This other fellow I assume was early?"
"As a matter of fact, he was."
"Then you have given your carefully-crafted invention to one of Matthew's competitors. He had been ordered to follow you and must have realised the nature of your appointment. How his masters must have congratulated themselves on their good fortune! I daresay they are trying to make sense of it at this very moment."
"Do you mean to say—"
"Yes, Watson. There has not been one moment since your meeting with Croxley that you have not been followed. There are more players in this drama than Mycroft and Matthew alone." He sobered a little. "Which is why it is imperative that a conclusion is brought to these proceedings before there are fatal consequences."
With the usual throng of vehicles absent from the streets, we had made good time back to central London. On cue, our cab came to halt outside the Diogenes Club and Holmes sprang forth. There was a smell of cabbage and roasting potatoes about the place that made my stomach rumble and reminded me that I had missed breakfast. Assured that we would be home in time for Mrs Hudson's lunch, I dutifully followed Holmes up to the Stranger's Room. Mycroft Holmes was seated by the fire, a glass of sherry in his hand and a disgruntled expression on his face. He took in his brother's appearance with the air of a disapproving parent.
"Brawling again, Sherlock?" said he.
"In a good cause, I assure you," Holmes replied. "Has our guest arrived?"
Mycroft shook his head. "You are early, my dear boy. Some of us have better things to do than dance attendance on you. As for myself, I have been liberated from my desk and returned to my usual haunts because the Prime Minister commands it. He tells me that you have provided a satisfactory answer to the question of the disappearance of Professor Croxley and the missing invisibility device." He took a sip of his sherry. "You certainly took your time. I should have thought it obvious."
"There were complications. Both Dr Watson and myself have been subject to the attentions of your competitors."
"Well, I never. The blighters!" His eyes twinkled in my direction. "I trust you have not been too inconvenienced, Doctor."
"In the circumstances," said Holmes, "some recompense might be in order."
"Yes, yes," agreed his brother. "I'll see what we can do. Have a fancy for a knighthood, do you?"
Holmes snorted. "Mycroft! What the deuce good is a knighthood to a man without heirs? The only letters a man should have on his tombstone are those that he has earned himself by dint of his merit. Have you nothing better to offer than your usual stock-in-trade?"
"Ah, if you mean a holiday, Sherlock, why didn't you say so in the first place? This habit of yours of speaking in riddles has nothing to recommend it. Certainly, it can be arranged. Where would you care to go?"
I did not have the opportunity to reply, for there came a knock on the door and at Mycroft Holmes's call, the valet admitted a well-made man in his late forties. Clean-shaven and neat in dress and manners, there was something solid and reassuring about him as though the very essence of the nation's spirit had been distilled and embodied in one individual.
"Thank you for coming at such short notice, Major Marchmont," said Holmes. "My brother you know, and this is my friend and associate, Dr Watson. Won't you sit down?"
My first impression of the lichenologist and erstwhile friend of the elderly scientist was so akin to the image I had formed in my mind that I began to give myself airs that, like Holmes, I could recognise the type at a glance.
"You may have gathered the reason for this interview?"
"Naturally," said the Major with sincerity. "I was deeply shocked to hear of Croxley's disappearance. Has there been any news of the poor fellow?"
"None," I said, moved by his obvious concern.
"Nor is there likely to be," said Holmes. "Until you tell us, Major, where you buried his body?"
Marchmont let out a strangled cry. He staggered to his feet, knocking over the chair in his confusion. His eyes bulged, the veins stood out on his head and he nearly choked.
"Please, sir, don't be noisy," said Holmes, guiding him back to his chair. "You will have my brother barred from his own club if this behaviour continues. Watson, a brandy for the Major."
"How did you know?" he gasped.
Holmes smiled. "When a man disappears absolutely, he has either changed his identity and fled abroad or died. The former did not fit Croxley's character. It goes without saying that his death was not of your doing, since you had much to lose by his demise."
Marchmont gulped down the drink and calmed a little. "It was natural causes as you say, Mr Holmes. I found him slumped over his desk. He was never a well man. I believe it was a heart attack, brought on by overwork and excessive strain on his system."
"In that case, the proper thing to do would have been to inform his physician," said Mycroft.
"No, he could not do that," said Holmes. "There was the not inconsiderable matter of £50,000. With Croxley dead, the government would have demanded the return of their money. Where is it now?"
"Invested. In a South American goldmine." Marchmont fidgeted in his seat and appealed to Mycroft. "You will get it back. They assure me that the investment will pay off. It was only ever going to be a loan, you understand. They needed the capital in a hurry, otherwise another company would have taken over the claim."
"That remains to be seen," said he in low, measured tones. "In my experience, there is no such thing as a guaranteed return, especially where one has to part with such a large initial sum."
"To say nothing of the money extracted from certain other foreign interests," added Holmes. "Yes, Major Marchmont, we are well aware of the extent of your fraud. There are at least two other European governments who are under the impression that the invisibility device is theirs. How many others? My, sir, you will have some explaining to do. My advice, if you will take it, is to place yourself in my brother's power and confide in him absolutely for your own protection. These are unforgiving men, who will expect their pound of flesh and will have no scruple in taking it."
"As you say, Mr Holmes," said Marchmont. "Thank you. Would you help me again in explaining my case to the proper authorities?"
He shook his head. "It is of little concern to me what you did with the money. Heaven knows far greater sums have been wasted on unworthy causes in the past and will continue to be so in the future. What does concern me is that you involved Dr Watson in your mischief. You singled him out to lend credence to this nonsense about invisibility devices and in so doing endangered his life. Do not look to me for mercy. The season of goodwill it may be, but I find precious little sympathy for your plight."
His expression had been fierce and steely, but the cold light had dimmed from his eyes when he rose and gestured to me.
"Come, Doctor. We have wasted time enough. Good day to you, Mycroft."
"And to you, brother. Rest assured that we can take matters from here."
Holmes smiled. "I never doubted that for second."
So now we know. Croxley dead and Marchmont made off with the money. But what about the invisibility? Still some questions to be answered, Mr Holmes!
Find out in Chapter Ten!
