Shepard awoke with a hangover, very little clothing on, and a nude, sleeping Jack smiling draped over her. Shepard had drank so much that she'd forgotten she'd made the heinous decision of sleeping with a heavily tattooed, emo biotic. Just as she was coming to her senses, Joker's voice came booming over the intercom.

"Normandy crew! Rise and shine! It's time for all of you to put your clothes back on and get down here. We're set to hit the relay in forty-five minutes!"

Jack woke up and looked up at Shepard.

"Oh, God. I actually did that? I thought me coming to your room and asking you for sex was just a really weird dream."

"It was a dream all right," Shepard responded with a grin on her face.


Miranda and Jacob woke up on the bed in her office, stretching their limbs.

"I think I've banged almost every guy on the ship."

"Miranda, you need to get it together."


Thane and Samara awoke on the Starboard Observation Deck.

"I'm very glad that we spent last night together. I will cherish the memories," Thane confided, rather romantically.

Samara coddled him, lovingly.


Garrus and Tali were still awake in the main battery, never having gotten any sleep from the previous nights events.

"Mordin said there'd be quite a bit of chafing, but..."

"Yeah, sorry about that."


Mordin shook to consciousness, slumped in a chair in his office. He remembered him and Grunt, who was still fast asleep in the chair he'd pulled up, talking about the Genophage, but he'd gone on so long he didn't remember either of them falling asleep. He walked over to Grunt and shook him awake. Grunt jumped up in a hurry and looked all around him, bewildered.

"What the hell am I doing in here?"

"Late night conversations. Wanted to talk. Genophage. No memory?"

"Oh yeah, I remember that. We'll finish our conversation later. I gotta go put my good armor on." He clapped his hands together, which startled Mordin. "TIME TO BEAT SOME COLLECTOR ASS."


Legion polished his sniper rifle, still alone in the AI core. But Legion was a robot, so loneliness didn't really affect him.


Moments later the crew gathered on the bridge of the Normandy and braced for impact.

"Alright everyone, brace yourselves!" Joker exclaimed.

EDI began the countdown.

"Hitting the Omega 4 Relay in 3...2..."

The point of no return, Shepard thought to herself.

"1..."

The ship was immediately hit with a plethora of debris from other wrecked ships. The crew of the Normandy was jolted around as the Normandy was hit by one thing or another. Once the ship settled down, they realized they were in and everything was okay, for now.

The squad gathered in the briefing room as EDI scanned the site.

"Alright EDI, what do you have for us?"

"It appears as if the weak spot is in the central control center of the building. This is also the likely location of the rest of the Normandy's crew and any remaining colonists."

"Okay, crew. We can get there in two ways, one team through the front, which I'll lead, and a stealth team going through the back. We're going to need a leader for the second team, and a tech specialist to get them through."

"Commander," Miranda interjected, "I have quite the commanding skills, and I think I'd be the PERFECT person to lead the stealth team. I mean, I am perfect an-"

"NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU YOU BIG TOOTHED, NOT EVEN PERFECT, SELFISH, WHORE SLUT, CERBERUS CHEERLEADER BITCH!" Jack shouted.

"Jesus, Jack." Shepard replied. "Garrus, you lead the fire team."

"Will do, Commander."

"And... tech specialist, well Tali, you seem to be the most tech person on this squad, so naturally I will choose Legion because he is a robot and less likely to mess up than you are."

"Affirmative Shepard-Commander."

Before they departed the ship, Shepard made her way to the bridge and took the mic from the intercom to give a speech.

"ALRIGHT, BITCHES. LISTEN TO ME. THIS IS YOUR COMMANDER SPEAKING. WE WENT THROUGH HELL TO PUT THIS SHIT TOGETHER, AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF YOU LITTLE SHITS FUCK THIS UP FOR ME. I SPENT TWO YEARS DEAD, CAME BACK TO LIFE, ALL OF THIS MONEY, TIME, AND EFFORT HAVE ACCUMULATED TO THIS VERY MOMENT. THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT OF YOUR PITIFUL SORRY LIVES. WE'RE GOING TO GO INTO THIS REAPER BASE AND FUCK THEIR SHIT UP. AND IF I DIE TRYING TO STOP THEM, THEN I'M DRAGGING MIRANDA DOWN WITH ME. LET'S HIT 'EM WHERE IT HURTS. OVER AND OUT."


Once Commander Shepard's jaw dropping, inspirational speech was complete, the teams headed towards their goals.

"Shepard-Commander, I have reached the ventilation shaft. You have to unlock the vents or else I could overheat and shut down."

"Affirmative, Le- JESUS CHRIST COLLECTORS EVERYWHERE!"

Shepard, equipped with Grunt and Samara, began taking the Collectors down with actiony force. Once they went down and they reached the end of that section, they got through the doors where the second team already was and Legion was struggling to close the doors.

"Come on, Legion!"

He tapped furiously at the console until finally the doors were shut with no casualties.


The next room they ended up in was full of tubes and pods. Inside of the pods were people they recognized. Members from the colony on Horizon, or Normandy crew members. Shepard walked up to a pod with a colony member inside. She tapped on it, waking the woman up. Once she was awake she began furiously banging on the glass panel, only to be turned into reaper goo.

"HURRY, GET ALL THE OTHERS OUT OF THE PODS!" Shepard commanded. All of the team members began prying pods open, pulling out Normandy crew members: Kelly, Gabby, Ken, and CHAKWAS! Shepard was ecstatic as she greeted Chakwas.

"DOC! YOU'RE HERE, IT'S REALLY YOU!" Shepard hugged her, lifting her up off her feet as she did so.

"Shepard, you came! We're so happy to see you."

"I'm glad you guys are here, but we've got to get you to safety. Mordin, would you mind escorting these people back to ship?"

"Will do, Commander. Joker, send coordinates."

EDI interjected over Shepard's omni-tool.

"Shepard, I am noticing fierce seeker swarm activity coming from the next room. Perhaps you should think about creating a barrier to keep them from getting to you."

Miranda declared, "Maybe you could use a biotic field to keep them from getting to you. Perhaps I might know of a strong, beautiful, intelligent biotic woman to hold the field for you."

"You're right, Miranda. Samara, do you think you could hold a biotic field to get a small team through the next room?" Shepard requested.

"I will do my best."

"Good, now all we need is someone to lead a distraction team. Jacob, this one is all you."

"Gotcha, Commander."

"Alright, team. Over and out."


Shepard, along with Jack and Grunt, with Samara holding the field, pushed through the seeker swarms to get to the other side. Once they were almost there, they noticed that Samara had begun to wear out.

"Just a little... bit... longer... almost... there...," she urged. Once they were almost there, they began to jog to the finish line. Samara, almost completely out of energy, turned around and gave the Collectors one last biotic BURST, sending them back light years. The team then made it through the doors.

Once everyone was through, without casualties, Shepard looked over the squad.

"Looks like whatever is in the next room is going to be the final battle."

Miranda stood next to her. "Shepard is going to take two people with her and the rest of us are going to defend our position.

Shepard side eyed her. "Yeah, okay. Anyway I'm taking two people with me. Alan, get up here."

"Yeeesss!" he exclaimed.

"And... Jack, get up here."

"Oh lord..."

Shepard went on as she nudged Miranda off of the pedestal next to her and pulled Jack up. Alan was already standing on her other side.

"Alright team. This is the final push. We've gotten this far and you people haven't fucked things up yet. Let's keep this momentum going. Over and out."

"What an inspiring human," Samara remarked as she wiped a tear away.

"We will not let you down, Shepard." Thane added.


Once they were through to the other side, they killed a bunch of Collectors, who just happened to be in the way. Then some floaty platform thingy carried them to where the tubes were leading them to. Once they were in the room, Shepard couldn't help but exclaim her fright from what she saw.

"LORD MY JESUS HOLY MOTHER OF COMMUNION WAFERS WHAT IS THAT!"

"It appears to be a Reaper in the making. This Reaper being made from humans." EDI explained.

"What in the... why is this happening? There is no reason for this occurrence!" Shepard was so dumbfounded she didn't even have words for what she saw.

"We have to blow this thing to hell. Bye bye scary human reaper thing!" Shepard pulled out the M-920 Cain, aimed it at the Reaper, and blew it to hell. The whole squad wiped their foreheads and prepared to head back to the ship.

"Whew, well that was a lot simpler than I thought." Shepard remarked. She seemingly spoke too soon, for as soon as she turned her back, the Reaper popped back up out of nowhere and began breaking pieces of the platform.

"JESUS SHEPARD KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Jack cried.

"I CAN'T I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE AMMO IN MY HEAVY WEAPON!"

That's when Alan pulled out his back up M-920 Cain and fired right at the soul of the Reaper. It went down, once again, this time never returning.

"Alan, thank goodness. I knew you'd come in handy someday."

"Yep!" Alan exclaimed proudly.

"Now time to blow this station to pieces."

Just as Shepard was placing the bomb, The Illusive Man contacted her via omni-tool.

"Shepard, before you set off the bomb, I have an idea."

"Idea? I'm listening."

"We don't have to get rid of the entire station. The technology in here is priceless. We could use the Reaper's technology against them. I could set the bomb to release a pulse that will kill all of the remaining creatures on board, while keeping the technology intact."

"Mmm...," Shepard thought, "Or I could just blow up the whole station like I came here to do in the first place."

"No, Shepard. You're not hearing me. I'm saying we-"

"Sorry I can't hear you over the sound of me about to blow the entire station to hell. Bye." Shepard said, hanging up on The Illusive Man.

"Alright the bomb is set. We gotta go now. EVERYONE MOVE MOVE MOVE!"

Alan and Jack followed Shepard as they all bolted through the station towards the Normandy. All of the other crew was already on board and Joker was wielding an assault rifle making sure Shepard's back was covered. They all got back to the ship with no more than a few minor afflictions.

"We did it team!" Shepard beamed.

Everyone hugged, laughed, cried, and celebrated as they made it through the Omega 4 Relay.


Shepard stood in the comm room, still clad in her legendary N7 armor as she conversed with The Illusive Man.

"Shepard, do you know what you've done?"

"Umm, I'm thinking I did exactly what we teamed up to do."

"You could've saved that technology. That could've worked to our benefit!"

"Our benefit, or your benefit?"

"They are not dissimilar. Cerberus' only goal is the advancement of manki-"

"Yadda yadda, yeah, whatever. The mission is over and you're no longer my boss so..." Shepard hung up on him once again.

She left the comm room and saw her entire squad polishing their armor and weapons after a long and hard fought battle. As she walked by, they all looked up toward her with approving nods and smiles. Joker handed her a clipboard that had Reaper schematics on it. She carried the clipboard to the window and looked out into the universe, grinning into space.