"So how can this be?

You're praying to me

There's a look in your eyes

I know just what that means...

I can be your everything."

-In This Moment


Chapter 9: Jealousy


More time went by. Hermes only saw Apollo periodically, whenever he got time off from his trips around the world. For a little while, he was content. Life seemed to be good.

Then one day, Zeus sent him a message inviting him home for a vacation. Eager to once again spend time with his family and friends, Hermes flew home immediately. Demeter and Persephone were sitting at the foot of the temple when he landed. He bowed in greeting, spreading his arms and tilting his head.

"Welcome back, Hermes," Demeter said, offering him a gentle smile. Persephone extended her hand for him to kiss.

"You haven't seen Apollo around, have you?" the messenger asked, releasing Persephone's hand.

"Actually, I have," Demeter replied, brushing her hair away from her kind face. "He walked by not that long ago." She pointed down the winding stairs that led to the back of the palace.

Murmuring a quick thanks, Hermes bounded down the stairs, eager to see his friend. "Apollo!" he called out.

"Hermes?" a voice responded. A moment later, the God of Light stepped out from behind a tree, holding his bow-and-arrow – but he wasn't alone. Following close behind was a young boy, who was clearly mortal and not more than sixteen years of age. Hermes stared at him before returning his gaze to Apollo. "What's going on here?" he asked the archer, his voice quiet.

"We were hunting," Apollo replied. "This is Kyparissos. Kyparissos – this is Hermes."

"Hunting?" Hermes asked, his voice slightly higher than usual. There was an odd feeling in his stomach. "Is that what they call it nowadays?" The messenger eyed the young boy, who had red marks all over his neck.

Apollo's golden eyebrows rose. A fleeting look of curiosity crossed his face. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Hermes snapped, now feeling angry without knowing why. "But I do think you're a hypocrite."

Apollo looked more baffled than upset. He had never seen Hermes angry before – especially not with him. "What?"

"You killed Artemis's lover just because he was a mortal! I seem to remember you saying those exact words. 'You're a goddess and he's just a mortal. How could you love a mortal?'"

"First of all, I didn't kill him," Apollo said through clenched teeth. "Second of all, I don't love Kyparissos."

"Of course you don't!" Hermes seethed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You fall in love more easily than anyone I know, Apollo!"

That did it – Apollo snapped. "Kyparissos, go home," he hissed, grabbing Hermes by the forearm and dragging him away. When he was sure they were alone, he shoved Hermes against a tree. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"It doesn't matter what I'm doing!" Hermes shouted, shoving Apollo in turn. "Just leave me alone!" He began to march away, but Apollo wasn't known for giving up. With an angry growl, he grabbed Hermes by his wings, consequently pulling off his cap. The messenger whirled around angrily. "Give that back!"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong!"

"I don't know what's wrong!" Hermes yelled. "I don't know!"

Apollo stared him in silence for several seconds. Then…"Are you jealous?" he asked quietly.

Hermes sighed and slid down until he was sitting in the grass. "I don't know," he said helplessly. Then he looked up at Apollo with wide eyes. "How many men have you slept with?" he asked in a strained voice.

Apollo hesitated before answering. "Three, including you. Hyacinthus was the first."

Hermes blinked. "Is that why you smell like hyacinth?"

"When he died, I turned him into the hyacinth flower." He kneeled in front of Hermes, who looked down to avoid meeting his eyes. But Apollo simply grabbed his chin, tilting his face up. "Please tell me what's wrong," he pleaded. "I can't fix it unless I know what I did."

"It's just – " Hermes struggled for words, silently cursing this weak display. His normally quick tongue had failed him. "You were my first." He whispered the words, once again casting his eyes downward.

"Hermes, look at me," Apollo commanded. When Hermes did so, he saw that the older god was smiling softly. There was nothing but kindness in his blue eyes. "If it helps," the archer murmured, "you were the first immortal I ever slept with."

When Hermes didn't reply, Apollo reached forward and tenderly brushed the messenger's hair back. Hermes shivered slightly at his warm touch. Then Apollo picked up the discarded cap and placed it back on his head. "Smile for me, little one."

Meeting his friend's eyes, Hermes managed a watery smile. Apollo leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. "Remember this," he then whispered into Hermes' ear. "No matter who else I may share my bed with, I will always love you."

And then with a flash of golden light he disappeared, leaving Hermes to ponder the meaning of those words. I will always love you.


Their conversation didn't help Hermes understand why it hurt so much to see Apollo with other men, or why he reveled in the feel of Apollo's touch. He caught himself staring at the way Apollo's hair would sway when he walked, counting the different shades of blue in his eyes, marveling at the ripple of his muscles beneath his skin.

After several months had passed this way, he tried to think of ways to help himself forget about Apollo. He slept with an endless amount of women, both mortal and immortal. He tried to lose himself in the feel of their soft flesh. Soon, he had fathered children in nearly every city in Europe. But he couldn't forget the way Apollo's hard chest had felt pressed against his own.

That was when he met Amphion.

He had been flying over Boiotia when he caught sight of two young men building walls around a citadel. Even from the sky, he could hear one of them singing. The sound reminded him of Apollo, and out of curiosity, he dove towards the ground, making sure to disguise himself as a traveler before approaching the boys. They barely glanced at him as he drew closer.

"Which one of you was singing so beautifully just now?" Hermes asked, gazing at them.

"That would be me," one of them said shyly, straightening up from where he had been laying bricks.

Hermes flashed him a grin. "And what is your name?"

"I'm Amphion, and this is my brother, Zethus. May I ask what your name is?"

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Amphion." He held his hand out to the boy. "If it would be to your liking, I could teach you the ways of music."

Amphion took his hand, holding onto it as he responded. "I would like that very much, sir." With a smile, he added, "But you still have not given me your name."

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Hermes took a step back and dropped his disguise. The traveler's cloak fell to the ground, and with a flash of light, his golden cap and winged sandals were revealed. Unnaturally green eyes sparkled with mirth at the shock of the two brothers.

"You've look like you've seen a ghost," the messenger teased. "Or a god."

"Lord H—Hermes?" Amphion gasped.

The god nodded.

"B-but I thought Lord Apollon was the god of music?"

"Only because I taught him," Hermes snorted. "Who do you think it was that made the lyre?" As though to prove his point, he pulled a lyre out of his tunic with a flourish. Amphion eyed the instrument with hunger.

Hermes handed it to him. "I can teach you to play music so magical that no person or animal will be able to resist it," the messenger said quietly, watching as Amphion plucked the lyre experimentally. After a moment, he looked up at the winged god.

Hermes immediately recognized the desire in his eyes.

There is something about gods that mortals cannot resist. Hermes wasn't sure if it was their unearthly beauty, or perhaps some sort of aura that only immortals can emit, but either way – he used it to his advantage.

Smirking slightly, Hermes stepped forward and leaned in. "Do you want me?" he breathed into Amphion's ear.

The boy nodded.

"Then take me to bed," Hermes whispered.

Within the moment, Amphion was pressing Hermes into his bed, desperately pulling at his tunic. Hermes kicked off his winged sandals as he fumbled with Amphion's chiton, wrapping his legs around his waist to draw the boy closer. When the chiton fell to the floor, Hermes ran his hands down the toned chest, and Amphion made a keening noise that the messenger was determined to hear more of.

Lust – ten times stronger than what he had previously felt – shot through his body, and Hermes took the opportunity to slip his tongue through the boy's lips, reveling in the taste of the warm mouth. Amphion withdrew and took Hermes' plump lower lip into his mouth, and the messenger's eyes fluttered shut. Then he felt hands travel up his face, stopping at his cap. "May I?" Amphion whispered, and Hermes nodded. When he felt the boy trying to gently tug the cap off his head, Hermes reached up, grabbing his arms.

"Don't be gentle with me," the herald growled. "I won't break."

With these words of encouragement, Amphion ripped off the cap and threw it over his shoulder. Hermes' curly black hair poured over his shoulders, and Amphion grasped at it, running his fingers through the silky tresses. "You're so beautiful," Amphion whispered repeatedly, and Hermes' eyes fluttered shut. It wasn't often that he heard such a compliment; he was often in the company of Apollo, whose beauty shadowed everything and everyone .

"Show me how beautiful you think I am," Hermes breathed.


Hermes returned to Mount Olympus the next morning with red eyes. When he walked into the throne room to pick up the day's messages, he saw that Apollo was sitting next to Zeus, talking to the king in a low voice. He turned and glared at Hermes as the messenger came forward.

"Good morning, son," Zeus greeted Hermes in a seemingly cheerful voice – but Hermes thought he detected a note of uneasiness in the words.

"Um – good morning." He glanced at Apollo, who was still watching him heatedly. "Are there any messages that need delivered?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact – " Zeus began, but suddenly Apollo cut him off.

"What were you thinking, Hermes?!" the blonde exploded, jumping to his feet.

"What are you talking about?" Hermes asked, feigning nonchalance.

"Amphion?" Apollo demanded. "Your little escapade last night?"

Hermes was confused. "How did you know -?" he began to ask, before remembering that this particular god could see into the future. "Well, nobody asked you to spy on me!" the messenger snapped, crossing his arms. "Why do you care, anyway?"

Zeus, now looking extremely uncomfortable, got up from his throne and left the room.

"I don't know!" Apollo shouted, beginning to fiddle with his hair. "But I can't stop picturing you with him and it's driving me insane." His cheeks had reddened slightly, giving color to his pale face. It was a good look on him.

"You're the one driving me insane!" Hermes exclaimed. "Do you know how hard it was for me to see you with that boy?"

Apollo didn't answer, but his emotions were clearly written across his face. He looked confused, upset, and dejected. "What are we going to do?" he finally murmured, tugging at his hair.

"I don't know," Hermes said quietly. "You're supposed to be the rational one." A nervous, fluttery sort of feeling had developed in his stomach.

Apollo exhaled with frustration. "I think the only thing we can do is try to control ourselves. I don't think the others would be happy if we continued this relationship."

Hermes couldn't hide the feeling of utter rejection that shot across his face. Tears began to form in the corners of Apollo's eyes, and he looked at Hermes with an expression that begged for forgiveness.

Hermes shrugged one shoulder and turned away. A moment later, he walked out of the room.


Despite the agreement that had been reached by the duo, Hermes could not stay away from Apollo for long. They had been friends for too long, and nothing could ever change that. A week after the throne room incident, he found himself perched high up in a tree at the base of Mount Olympus. On the ground far below, Apollo was leaning against the same tree, unaware of Hermes' whereabouts.

Hermes watched as Apollo called out to a crow, and the bird flew towards the god, landing on a slender finger. The blonde began to sing as he stroked the feathers of the crow. His golden hair cascaded against the bark of the tree. A deer and wolf appeared from the depths of the woods, and a swan emerged from the nearby pond.

After another moment of watching, Hermes couldn't hide any longer. He hopped out of the tree and let himself fall until he was a few feet above the blonde's head. Suspended in midair, he spoke. "A charming song. Why not play along to it on my lyre?"

Apollo looked up in surprise. His eyebrows furrowed slightly when he saw who it was, but he responded nonetheless. "It isn't your lyre, Hermes. We traded fairly."

A feeling of warmth spread through Hermes – he had missed the presence of his closest friend. He smiled cheekily. "I had just been born, Apollo! I knew not what I was trading. You took advantage of me." He put his hands on his cheeks in mock horror, snickering at the look on Apollo's face. "The crows told me that angering you would lead to misfortune."

"You had just stolen my cattle," Apollo pointed out reasonably.

"You know it was funny!" Hermes grinned.

"Don't you have messages to be delivering?" Apollo asked, trying to hide the tiny smile on his lips.

Hermes, struck by a sudden idea, winked at Apollo before throwing himself into flight. He snatched Apollo's bow-and-arrow from where it had been resting against a tree and then hid himself behind a bush. It only took a moment for Apollo to realize that his beloved weapon was missing. His resulting shout was so loud that it shook the earth, causing a giggling Hermes to fall out from behind his bush. Hearing the laughter, Apollo whirled around, scowling when he spotted the thief. "Give that back!" the archer demanded. "Do you perhaps remember promising never to steal any of my possessions after the cow incident?"

"Fine," Hermes conceded, handing over the stolen item.

"You can't help yourself, can you?"

"God of thievery," Hermes sang, doing a flip in midair.

Apollo sighed, shouldering his bow. "What do you want, Hermes?"

"Zeus called a meeting," Hermes responded. "Something about the Cyclopes…"

"Great," Apollo groaned.