Disclaimer - I do not own InuYasha, and that's a fact, so to make me feel better, won't ya give me a pat on the back?
AN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I kept my promise! New chapter before February! *dances madly around the room* Ahem, anyway. Here's the next chapter! This chapter will be switching between Katashi's POV and Kagome's.
Thanks so much for all the reviews everyone gave. I thrive on reviews and always look forward to seeing one in my inbox.
'Blah' - Thoughts
'Blah' - Flashback
Chapter Nine.
Katashi drummed his fingers his desk, his eyes darting between the clock and the girl seated only four seats away. School was almost out for the weekend, and today was the day he was going to confront Kagome Higurashi and get some answers.
The dream from last night was still fresh in his mind. That dream had been more vivid, more disturbing, than any dream he had ever had before. He needed to know what was going on before he completely lost his mind.
He glanced over at Kagome again, eying the girl's dark head from behind. He felt a stab of anger rush through him. How could she sit there so calmly when he was in the middle of a teenage breakdown? How could she just sit there with her textbook, calmly reading like nothing was wrong, when Katashi felt like he was practically going insane?
Katashi scowled fiercely at Higurashi's bent head, knowing that he was being unreasonable in blaming the girl for his troubles, but not bothering to change his thoughts. In a way, it was her fault. He didn't have these stupid dreams until he came to this school and met her, and started having weird dreams that were about her boyfriend. And right now the only person he could turn to about these freaking dreams was her. It was infuriating.
He turned back to his paper, pretending to study the textbook, but not actually paying attention to what it said. He returned to thumping his fingers down, creating different beats and rhythms to pass that time.
Did school usually last this long? Katashi looked at the clock once again and had to fight valiantly to suppress the urge to scream and throw his textbook at it.
He turned towards Higurashi once again. She was no longer paying attention to the lesson, but was gazing out the window. She seemed lost in thought but Katashi suspected she wasn't thinking about math equations. She appeared relaxed though, with that glazed look in her eyes that said she was thinking about home, that place in the future that involved giggly girls like Yuka and bicycles and...
Wait a second, what the hell was he thinking about? Katashi blinked and shook his head slightly, turning back to his textbook, feeling much more determined to corner Kagome after school and get some answer. Still, Katashi thought as he tried to tune into the teacher's tirade, Yuka was a pretty annoying girl. With that high voice, and bubbly attitude...Kagome Higurashi was a much more sensible girl, and more pleasant to be around. If she wasn't such a damn mystery, Katashi added mentally. He bowed his head, determined to concentrate on the lesson and failing spectacularly. Only fifteen more minutes and then answers. He wasn't going to leave her alone until she spilled.
He's staring at me again. Why is he staring at me? He shouldn't be staring at me! I stare at him, I creep him out, I cause him to believe I should be cooped up in a white room, I'm the stalker, not him. Why is he staring at me? Did he stop? Is he still staring at me? God, why is he staring?
Kagome shifted uncomfortably. She could feel his burning gaze drilling holes into her back. He wouldn't stop looking at her. Was the back of her head really that interesting?
Kagome stared at her book, willing herself to pay attention and to ignore the strange yet familiar eyes that seemed to bore into her. She forced her thoughts away, bringing up memories of the past week that included Ayumi's new boyfriend, Yuka's new hair style attempt, as well as Eri getting into a fight with a girl from a rival school and dumping her milkshake all over the other girl's uniform. But as hard as she tried, she couldn't get those eyes out of her mind.
She looked over at the window, staring into the distance, and wishing that things weren't so complicated. Kagome's eyes lingered on the ledge, remembering all the various times Inuyasha had arrived and nearly given her a heart attack when he appeared outside of the window, quite comfortable in the midst of her discomfort.
Kagome smiled, the memories coming back to her unwillingly, but a welcome distraction from the boy sitting not far from her that looked so like the half-demon she'd known a couple of years ago.
Half-demon. Kagome's gaze wavered as the word crossed her mind. Half-breed. Inuyasha's face leapt unbidden into her mind. She couldn't help it. She hated that phrase. The title, the classification, the prejudice that was brought with it. The way that it had ruined her life so utterly. The way it had ruined Inuyasha's life.
Kagome bit her lip and turned away from the window, blinking back tears and repeating the mantra, "Must not cry," over and over in her head.
It did no good. Her vision swam, blurring with the tears she was trying to keep back as the memory of that night came back to her. I guess I have a sorry pet too. It's not even a purebreed.
The flash of pain and hurt and betrayal that had flashed through the golden eyes that usually exuded confidence and smugness. Maybe you should get a new pet.
"I'm sorry," Kagome whispered softly. "I'm so sorry. It was never supposed to happen like that."
BRRRRRRINGG!
Kagome gave a small yelp as the bell startled her out of her thoughts. The teacher was reminding the students of their homework and not to be late on Monday. She quickly wiped her eyes and grabbed her books, determined not to show her friends that she'd nearly started bawling in the middle of math class.
"Hey Kagome! Want to grab a milkshake?" Ayumi's cheery voice broke through her hazy mind.
"Sure," answered Kagome, attempting to sound as normal as possible. "Can I ever say no to a chocolate milkshake?"
"And maybe we'll get all the new spicy details about Ayumi's new boyfriend," hinted Eri in a non-subtle way.
"Maybe we'll get to meet him," added Yuka. The two girls looked at each other and broke into giggles.
Kagome rolled her eyes, feeling better already. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you two say." She slung her backpack over her shoulders and joined the other girls as they walked out of the school onto the grounds. "I just can't believe that we're going to have a pre-quiz exam next week. Isn't that just awful?"
"Are you kidding?" moaned Eri. "I think that this is going to be the worst weekend of my life. Having to study for a pre-quiz exam. I think our teacher is really a demon in disguise."
Yuka agreed, not noticing Kagome stiffening beside her. "Yeah. He's probably a big red demon with horns that has a horrid lust for suffering students. The more they suffer the better! Did you know he's the only teacher that gives a pre-quiz exam. We're living under a tyrant!"
"A dictator!"
"A snot-nosed king!"
Eri gave Ayumi a strange look before looking at Kagome expectantly. "Er, a bastard?" offered Kagome weakly.
"Yes! The dicatorish, snot-nosed, kingly, bastardly, tyranty, teacher! What luck we have, right, girls?" Yuka waved her hands around in a dramatic display of horror.
"Maybe our teacher will eat us so that we won't have to go through senior year next year," suggested Eri, sounding hopeful.
"Maybe our teacher will thrust knowledge into our brain so that we can skip senior year and go straight to college," piped up Ayumi.
"Maybe our teacher will give us jobs right away so that we won't have to go through college," said Yuka thoughtfully.
"Maybe our teacher will graduate us from high school and college and give us the winning tickets to a lottery so that we can retire by age twenty-one," stated Kagome bluntly.
"I think I like Kagome's idea the best," said Eri, nudging Kagome. "It sounds the most romantic."
"Does your life have to revolve around romance, Eri?" asked Kagome.
"Yes! What would life be without love?"
"I don't know, maybe...sensible?"
"It would be awful! No chocolates, notes, juicy topics to gossip about - not that I ever gossip or anything - and..."
"Maybe if you didn't think about love all the time you would stop getting Fs in math and science!" exclaimed Ayumi.
"Speaking of romance, is that the Fukuda boy who just turned the corner," cut in Yuka suddenly.
"WHAT!" Kagome's head whipped around so quickly she was astonished she didn't hurt her neck.
All four girls came to a halt and glanced behind. "That is Katashi Fukuda!" said Eri. "Hey Kagome, have you two switched the stalking roles without telling me? He's coming straight towards us!"
And indeed he was. Why is he coming towards me! panicked Kagome. He should not be coming towards me! He certainly should not walk towards me like he's going to try to talk to me! His eyes are staring at me. Just like earlier. God, do I have something on my face? Please say no please say no please say no please say...
"Hey."
Kagome gulped.
Eri elbowed her violently in the ribs.
Ayumi stared unabashedly.
Yuka said hello.
An awkward silence descended upon the fivesome.
Katashi shifted and averted his eyes.
Kagome stared at everything but him.
Eri gave Kagome a death glare and turned to Katashi. "So, Katashi. What are ya doing?"
Katashi's eyes darted in every direction but never seemed to land on Kagome. "I was hoping I could talk to Kagome."
Dead silence.
Katashi stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Alone."
Ayumi giggled.
Eri smiled.
Yuka kicked Kagome's foot.
Kagome started out of her frozen state. "Oh, uh, sure!" she said, reddening slightly. She looked at the Inuyasha look-alike and hoped against all odds that the Apocalypses would suddenly happen right at that moment.
"Well, have a nice chat. We'll see you later, Kagome," said Eri as she began moving away.
"Yeah, bye, Kagome!"
"See you later!"
Drat the freaking Apocalypses. She never did have good luck anyway.
Kagome smiled hesitantly at Katashi who did not seem to be in a good mood. "So, you wanted to talk to me?" she said at last.
"Yeah, but not here. Somewhere...that's not here."
"We can go to my house," Kagome offered. "No one's home right now. Everyone's out doing something that I don't even want to think about."
"Sure," said Katashi abruptly.
The walk home was long, hard, and treacherous. Kagome felt like her senses had been heightened by a million degrees. She could practically feel every step Katashi took and every breath of air he breathed. She wanted to hyperventilate, or faint, and when she turned the corner that led to her home she wished that her house suddenly caught on fire or that she would get a phone call saying there was an emergency. Anything but a talk with this boy who reminded her so much of Inuyasha. What did he want anyway?
The two started climbing up the steps to Kagome's house. Kagome's mind was whirling with memories of the last time she had climbed these steps with Inuyasha. That time when Inuyasha had kissed her right outside her window. Those days when he would break everything and she would start screaming at him and he'd get that adorable look on his face that would make him look so cute but would get her even more mad at the same time.
Kagome risked a cautious look behind her and nearly fell backwards. Katashi had the same adorable confused look on his face as he stared at his surroundings.
Kagome tried to swallow, but her throat had dried up uncomfortably. "Why don't we go inside," she croaked. "I'll get you a glass of water."
"Sure," agreed Katashi. He was looking at something in the distance. Kagome had an odd feeling that he was looking at the well. But anyone would look at the well, right? That was what most people looked at when they came here! It wasn't that it reminded him of something. Of course not! After all, he was just Katashi Fukuda, a boy who looked uncannily like the half-demon she had been in love with two years ago and had gotten killed. The half-demon she was still in love with and...
"Right, water! Coming right up!"
Katashi sat by the table, drumming his fingers nervously. Kagome was moving around in the kitchen getting a couple of glasses of ice water. He surveyed his surroundings, disturbed by the fact that this all seemed familiar to him even though he had never been here before. When he'd been walking up those steps, he'd felt like he'd been up them a thousand times already. And that one building that he knew he had been in so many times but that he had never even seen before...
"Here you go!" chirped Kagome in a too-loud too-cheerful voice. She set down his glass in front of him and took a gulp of hers. Katashi sipped at his tentatively before setting it back down.
"Thanks," he muttered, feeling uneasy.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" asked Kagome finally.
"I..." Katashi hesitated, opting to analyze the window glass rather then stare at Kagome. "I wanted to ask you some questions. I was kind of hoping you'd have some answers."
There was silence, but Katashi could sense Kagome's hands tightening around her cup.
"About what?" she asked at last, her voice restrained and forced.
"About...about some dreams I've been having. Dreams that I think that you can explain."
"Dreams? I'm not some kind of crystal ball gazer or star reader or dream interpreter." Kagome's laugh was fake.
"I realize that, but I believe that these dreams are connected with you in some way. I don't understand them, and I think that you not only can understand them, but you probably know why I'm having them too."
"You're crazy," insisted Kagome.
"I'm sure there's a reason that you stalked me for nearly two months."
Kagome's face radiated heat off of the skin that had reddened considerably. Katashi turned from the window and faced her. "I...I..." he watched her flounder around for the right answer. "I had a crush on you!" she crowed finally. "Major crush, over it by now, but when I crush, I crush hard, if you know what I mean."
"Right," Katashi agreed amiably. "A crush on me. Probably had to do with that delinquent boyfriend of yours, right? The one I remind you of?"
Kagome paled. "It was a simple mistake! You look a lot like him, that's all! Same facial structure and everything, but everything else is very different! It was a first sighting mistake!"
"After the teacher had already introduced me as Katashi Fukuda and not as your boyfriend?"
"I thought you were...in a disguise!" Kagome's fumbled answer brought a smirk from Katashi.
"A disguise? Honestly? Come up with something better."
"Look, you're blowing this way out of proportion, okay? You don't know what my boyfriend was like, so just forget it and leave me alone! I already told you it was a mistake!"
"NO!" roared Katashi, slamming his fist onto the table, his eyes flashing angrily. "I want to know the truth, Kagome! I want to know why I'm having dreams about your boyfriend! I feel like I'm going insane half the time! I'm hearing voices and I am feeling paranoid! Tell me the truth, Kagome! Tell me the truth about Inuyasha!"
There was an abrupt silence. The stillness of the room seemed eerie. There was almost no sound except for the harsh breathing coming from Katashi.
"I can't," said Kagome softly.
Katashi slumped down. "Why not?"
"Because you wouldn't understand."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Sometimes even I don't understand."
"That's a lie."
"Yeah, I suppose it is." Kagome rubbed her left hand.
Katashi's eyes softened as they rested on her. "What happened to Inuyasha, Kagome?" he asked gently.
Kagome's gaze didn't waver. "He died."
"He died?"
"Yes. It was my fault. We had an argument, he saved my life, he died, and I never got to apologize or tell him I loved him."
"And you still thought I was him?"
"I told you that you wouldn't understand."
"Can't you try to make me understand?"
"No."
"Will you tell me one day?"
"No."
Katashi opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything to say. He averted his eyes and looked at his cup. "This cup looks familiar. Where did you get it?"
"I painted it when I was in eighth grade."
"Oh."
"Inuyasha always used that cup when he came over here."
"Ah."
Katashi raised her eyes and met his. "When I said that the only thing similar between you and Inuyasha were your facial structures, I lied."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You two are so alike that it scares me sometimes."
"Are you sure you won't tell me anything, Kagome?"
"I'm sorry, Katashi, but I can't. I'm not ready, and I don't think you are either."
"You will you tell me one day?"
Kagome smiled sadly as she picked her cup up and traced the rim with her finger. "I don't think so."
Katashi nodded, expecting this response. "Can you tell me why I'm having dreams?"
"I'm not completely sure why. I have my suspicions, but I can't tell you. I'm sorry."
Once again the two sat in silence. Finally, Katashi spoke up. "Well...maybe we can be friends at least."
Kagome smiled. "I'd like that."
The two stood up and faced each other awkwardly. "Well, I'll see you Monday I guess," said Katashi at last.
"Yeah. See ya Monday."
Long after Katashi had left the house, Kagome sat at the kitchen table, staring at the cup Katashi had held earlier. She didn't know what had prompted her to give him that cup, but it seemed wrong not to.
Kagome choked back a sob. She couldn't tell Katashi about Inuyasha. She still didn't know what - or who - Katashi was. And until she knew, she couldn't tell him anything. Even though she wanted to so much. Even though she wanted to tell him so very, very much.
Whew! Longest chapter ever! To reward me for getting this chapter out on time and making it so long, will you review? More review equals happy me after all! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
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