When we were just kids, you used to want,
To grow up and be, to be somebody.
But then it got lost, your innocence,
And you don't remember where it went.
When we were just kids, you loved yourself,
You loved yourself.
When we were just kids, you loved yourself.
"What would I do for a million bucks? Well, I guess I'd do as little as I had to..."
The teen's high slowly started to slow down making them all sleepy like. They were now seated in a circle upstairs near the balcony.
"That's boring," Claire mumbled with her head and back resting against the wall.
Andrew looks at Claire before replying, "Well, how'm I s'posed to answer?"
Claire rolls her head back over to look at Andrew, "The idea is to like search your mind for the absolute limit. Like, uh, would you drive to school naked?"
Andrew laughs.
"In the spring or winter?"
Claire sat up interested now, "It doesn't matter...spring..."
"In front of the school or in back of the school?" Andrew continues to ask.
"Either one..."
"Yes." Andrew answers simply.
Not even a second later Allison speaks up, "I'd do that!"
Everyone turns to look at her, her feet are balled underneath her body while she's leaning on her elbows on her thighs.
Allison has a small smile playing on her lips now that she has everyone's attention, "I'll do anything sexual, I don't need a million dollars to do it either..."
Claire gives Allison the same look Milan receives whenever she walks down the hallway, "You're lying."
"I already have...I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal...I'm a nymphomaniac!"
Claire rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh, "Lie..."
Brian, who's seated behind Milan's stretched out body(she lay on her side with her arm supporting her head, her curves angled perfectly just by how she was laying without any effort.), "Are your parents aware of this?" He asks with a slight lisp.
"The only person I've told was my shrink." Allison answers.
Milan just watches Allison, she didn't judge her because who was she to judge? Who were these kids to judge someone they didn't know? Why judge if your issues aren't filled with glitter and gold?
Andrew, with wide eyes looks at Allison...he now founded her interesting to say the least.
"And what'd he do when you told him?" He asks.
Allison shrugs, "He nailed me."
Milan looks down and starts messing around with the carpet, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Very nice." Claire says.
Milan flicks her two different color eyes to look at Claire, "Why don't you just silent yourself? Why do you always have to act like you know everything when you don't? You don't know Allison, since this morning the only thing you knew about her was that she was some "freak" that dressed in dark clothing. You don't give a shit about her or anyone else so stop acting like you know so much about Allison, you don't know her, you most definitely don't know me, or anyone else in this room. You'll never know what's inside someone just by looking at them. Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind. You're at war with yourself Claire, and you're just too blind to see it."
Claire once against didn't know what to say towards Milan. Who knew that this girl could actually come up with things that left people silent. The way Milan spoke made people forget the situation at hand, Claire was not even sure why she hated her so much...maybe she didn't even have a reason. Maybe she was right about the whole, 'being at war with yourself' thing but Claire would never admit to any of that shit.
"Oh why don't you just shut up, Slut."
Milan sat up quickly, pulling her feet underneath her body.
"That's it! That's fucking it. I'm going to tell you who I am my past included. Since Claire here thinks I'm such a slut, I'm going to tell you all my deepest darkest parts of me. I was born in Portugal, my mom's side of the family are all Portuguese. My dad, he's an American from South Carolina, which I've mentioned to my blossom today. He came to Portuguese because he was an artist, he was well known but there was something dark inside of him. It was always there with little hints but we never took it seriously. My mom told me once, when I was only six months years old he tried to drown me in the bathtub. He just did strange things after he married my mom and had me. Maybe I'm the one who caused what happened to my dad. Anyways around the age of nine or eleven we moved away from our side of town a few hours away while we waited to get passports, my dad disappeared a week before we left our home. During that time my mom packed our things and we moved out of town for three weeks until we received our passports. My mom wouldn't tell me what was going on with my dad and I didn't even ask which was also strange since I loved my daddy just as much as I loved my mamma. We came to America and I don't think my father looked for at us at all. I could be wrong but I highly doubted that. Once I turned thirteen my mom met a guy...named Greg. He was one of those motorcycle guys who stayed at bars and picked fights, he's got that long hair, tattoos going down his arms, smoked like a chimney, and drinks like a fish. On top of that he's huge, since thirteen I was always developed and he saw that as a key. He started sweet talking me and letting me gain my trust with him as a new father figure since he knows more about what happened to my father than me. Just three weeks ago I found a bunch of letters stored away in my mom's attic and saw they were all addressed to me."
Everyone's eyes were all locked on Milan, when she talked you always had to listen.
"I don't even live with my mother anymore because of that man. Greg...he started sexually abusing me when I was thirteen years old. I'm seventeen right now and I just got out of that house three months ago." Milan felt her face getting warm she knew that there would be tears.
She felt Brain shuffle towards her as he placed his arm around her shoulders and rubbed her shoulder with his hand.
Andrew looked at her with sympathy, "Did you ever tell your mom?"
Milan rubbed the tears that were started to brim her eyes, "Of course I told her! My mom was my only best friend before Greg came into her life. He was always there and I thought he could take the place as my own father but she lied to me, my mom lied to me all this time about the truth of my father just to protect me. I understand now why she did it but I'm still trying to let go of the fact that she doesn't believe that this man could hurt her daughter the way Greg hurt me. It got so bad one time that I finished my eighth year home schooled by my Aunt Tina. I love my mom with everything I have, that woman gave me life and protected me from my own father, but she stopped protecting me once Greg walked into that house. Now all I fear is that he'll start doing the same to my mom, and even though I have so much anger towards that woman I don't want to see her in a body bag."
Milan's voice started to shake as she squeezed Brian's hand, Andrew stared at her with his mouth open but slowly closed it and swallowed. He felt like such an asshole now making fun of this girl who's been dealing with a abusive, not only abusive but sexually abusive man for four years and her mother didn't even believe her. Allison stared at her blankly, even though her face held no emotion she felt bad for the girl she didn't deserve that, no one deserved that. Bender had his fist balled up at his sides, Milan was like his little sister and it pissed him off to no end that he really couldn't do anything about it since Milan wouldn't go to the damn police and report Greg.
"Is she such a slut, now Claire, look at her, just fuckin' look." Bender yelled at Claire.
Claire held her head down in shame, "How was I supposed to know?"
Milan stared at Claire with red eyes, "That's thing. You didn't know, that's why I stress peace and love towards everything because I lived with pain, anger, betrayal, and emptiness all my life. But somehow I still found my source of light. I'm learning to let go and be happy because why not? What's the point in judging everyone when we can all just spread love? When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."
Silence ticked before Claire turned her attention back to Allison, "You shouldn't sleep with your therapist."
Milan blew out a deep breath leaning back against Brian, it was like everything she said just went in through one ear and went out the other.
Allison had that small smile painted on her thin lips looking at Claire, "I don't think from a legal standpoint what he did can be considered as rape since I paid him."
"He's an adult!" Claire yelled back.
Allison is relishing this attention, "Yeah...he's married too!"
Claire notes her disgust.
"Do you have any idea how gross that is?"
"Well, the first few times-"
"First few times? You mean you did it more than once?"
"Sure."
"Are you crazy?!"
Brian mumbles from Milan's lion like hair, "Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing her shrink."
This time Milan said nothing.
"Have you ever done it?" Allison asks Claire with a smirk.
Claire ignores the main question as she says back, "I don't even have a psychiatrist..."
Allison notices and just asks, "Have you ever done it with a normal person?"
Claire lays her head back on the wall, "Now, didn't we already cover this?"
Bender finally speaks up, "You never answered the question."
Claire glares at the two, "Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with strangers."
"It's kind of a double - edged sword, isn't it?" Allison says with that same smirk painted on her face.
"A what?" Claire asks with annoyance on her face.
"Well, if you say you haven't...you're a prude. If you say you have...you're a slut! Which is what you thought of Milan but the truth came out that she was raped so that doesn't make her a slut but somewhere in your prissy mind you still think she is. You want to but you can't but when you do you wish you didn't right?" Allison concludes.
Claire squeezes her eyes shut while answering, "Wrong..."
"Or are you a tease?" Allison asks her smirk deepening.
Andrew interjects, "She's a tease..."
Claire stares at Andrew, "Oh why don't you just forget it?!"
Andrew continues, "You're a tease and you know it, all girls are teases!"
Brian slowly nods his head looking down at Milan who was wrapped up against him, Milan looked up at him with her innocent broken eyes, he blushes before looking away and squeezes her a little tighter to his chest. It isn't that weird that they're still total strangers who are attractive to each other, it seems like it was meant to be for the two...and maybe it is.
Bender answers Andrew, "She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot."
Claire holds her hands out as she yells, "I don't do anything!"
Allison replies with that same smirk playing on her lips, "That's why you're a tease."
Claire sits up straight giving Allison a serious glance, "Okay, lemme ask you a few questions."
Allison is suddenly defensive.
"I've already told you everything!"
"No! Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love? I mean don't you want any respect?"
Allison shrugs once more, "I don't screw to get respect, that's the difference between you and me."
Claire rolls her her eyes looking away from Allison, "Not the only difference, I hope."
"Face it, you're a tease." Bender states.
"I'm not a tease!" Claire yells.
Bender, who is leaned up against the opposite wall from Claire tells her, "Sure you are! You said it yourself sex is a weapon, you use it to get respect."
Claire blinks, "No, I never said that, she twisted my words around."
Bender blinks back and speaks with sarcasm, "Oh then what do you use it for?"
"I don't use it period!" Claire yells frustrated on the verge of tears.
Still with Sarcasm Bender says, "Oh, are you medically frigid or is psychological?"
"I didn't mean it in that way! You guys are putting words into my mouth!" She exclaims.
"Well if you just answer the question..." Bender bites.
"Why do you just answer the question?" Brian asks.
"Be honest..." Andrew says.
"No big deal..." Bender also says.
"Yeah, answer it!" Brian wonders.
"Answer the question, Claire!" Andrew yells.
"Talk to us!" Bender says his voice full of sarcasm.
Claire silences them all by screaming, "NO! I NEVER DID IT!"
Everyone pauses for a good two minutes.
Allison breaks it by shaking her head, "I never did it either, I'm not a nymphomaniac, I'm a compulsive liar."
Claire now has tears dancing along the brim of her eyes as she yells at Allison, "You are such a bitch! You did that on purpose just to fuck me over!"
Allison whispers back, "I would do it though...if you love someone it's okay..."
Milan blinks, the darkness she once felt for four years or maybe most of her life was her playground. She changed herself in a year, that's all it took but you can't change yourself completely because there's always a part of you that you just can't fix. You can try and that's all that matters. She looked at every single teen, saving Brian for last and did it over once again. They were all troubled and held something that made them all the same, they were human and she knew that three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. Milan Crespo was the moon and the truth seemed through her as she let her past roll of her tongues and she was hoping that the rest of the teens would all do the same...
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TO BE CONTINUED...
A/N: Been gone for so long...I've just been lazy and hating school. Today was just wild, I'm not even going to go into detail about today. Anyways Midnight memories was leaked and I don't regret listening to it because I'm still going to buy the album so FTW. Watched Ravenswood..it's pretty creepy but I like it. American Horror story - why didn't that bitch just stay dead?! Now this story has either two or one chapter left now since I didn't finish this chapter.
How you all have a nice weekend and I'm annoyed I have to back to school for two and a half days, this public system is stupid man.
I'm watching Buckwild right now and I'm almost tempted to do a fanfic on it I'm not even playin'
- ALovelyEccentricSoul xXx
