Part II of Georgia and California's adventures in Africa. With guest appearances by the other Californias.

I decided it was time to introduce California properly, since I set up a good premise with the whole filmmaking thing with Georgia.

California Gurls

Georgia wondered for the millionth time how it was that California had managed to rope her into another collaborative project. Perhaps it was just the fact that Georgia hated telling people 'no' and just wanted everyone to get along; it was why she got such terrible headaches whenever it came time for a University of Georgia vs. Georgia Tech football match, because both of them were her teams but they had been fighting for her love since 1893 and didn't seem inclined to stop. She couldn't just pick one or the other and risk disappointing someone.

And when her little sister dropped by her house to ask for her help in making a movie, it was difficult to think of an excuse and face the tears (which Georgia was half-certain California was faking). However, all Georgia wanted right now was to sit in her garden with some homemade cobbler and a glass of sweet tea and listen to the crickets chirping.

She did not want to be trekking miles and miles into sweltering desert heat, lugging tons of video equipment, and listening to California describe how the documentary they were supposed to be making to reflect the beauty of local wildlife and the rich cultural mosaic of the people of the region was now going to be a survival flick. Honestly, it was like Deliverance, all over again.

"And where's that soy latte I asked for, like, twenty minutes ago?" California said.

"Sis, darlin', there ain't no coffee shops in the desert," said Georgia. "I told you that twenty minutes ago when you started screamin' at poor Felipe."

"If Baja California can't do his job, I'm, like, so firing him. I totally can't believe someone with 'California' in his name can't even, like, find a place that sells lattes."

"Mi hermana," said Baja California a little warily. He was a boy physically no older than ten, but he needed a job and his big sister had given him one as her assistant so he had to tread carefully around her. "Please don't be angry with me."

"Felipe, I don't ask for much from you. All I want, every now and again, is a soy latte. Is that, like, too much to ask?"

Baja California Sur glared at her older sister for picking on Baja California. She may have been younger than both of them, in appearance she looked about seven or eight years old, but she got very irritated whenever Alta California acted like this and was sorely tempted to tell her exactly what she thought of her and where she could put her soy lattes.

"Once again, sis," Georgia said slowly and patiently. "This is the desert. You remember, don't you, hon? It's that big thang with lots of sand. The kind of place where they don't have lattes."

"What do you think I am, like, an idiot? Just someone get me that damned latte!"

She stormed off, leaving Georgia with the other two Californias.

"What a puta," said Baja California Sur.

"Teresa!" Baja California said worriedly. "Don't say such things."

"Well, she is! Be a man, Felipe! Stand up to her!"

"I would, but…she scares me."

"Ugh, you have no machismo. Would Nuevo León let anyone order him around?"

"Tejas."

"He's not bringing her soy lattes. Dios mío, you have a degree, why are you working as a coffee boy?"

Baja California muttered something which the two girls didn't quite catch.

"What was that, darlin'?" said Georgia.

"I said it's a visual arts degree, all right?!" he snapped.

"You mean to tell me," said Baja California Sur, her eyes narrowing into slits. "You threw away all that time in advanced mathematics classes, the political science seminars, the internship with Carlos Slim…so you could earn a visual arts degree?!"

"…."

Baja California Sur glared at her brother for several seconds and then kicked him in the shin. This was followed by a stream infuriated screaming in Spanish. Georgia just watched the little Mexican girl verbally rip apart her older brother for 'wasting his potential' and wondered if her Canadian cousins ever had to put up with this kind of nonsense.


"You know, Cali, hon," said Georgia. "Maybe it wasn't the best idea to try ridin' a wild zebra."

"But it's, like, just a kind of horse, right? How was I supposed to know it would, like, go crazy like that?"

"…God love you, child."

"How can you say that?! Mentioning God is, like, totally not PC, anymore."

The younger two Californias looked pained. Georgia just winced and internally prayed for her little sister.

"And another thing…where is that lat—ack!" California was suddenly overcome by a coughing fit. Black soot and ashes blew out from her mouth with each gasp and wheeze, causing her to choke.

"Must be the forest fires, again," said Georgia with concern. "Cali, sweetheart, do you need some help?"

"Murgle."

"Is that smoke coming out of her ears?" said Baja California Sur.

"Don't worry, darlin'," said Georgia. "I got you covered."

Georgia grabbed a nearby fire-extinguisher (Georgia had made it a habit to always have one on-hand, considering…) and began dousing her little sister. California began flailing about on the ground under the onslaught of fire-subduing foam, before curling in a little ball and humming Lady Gaga songs to herself.

Georgia shared a look with the two Baja Californias. Perhaps it was time to give California her medication, again? The sane American state took out a piece of paper from her purse and read the instructions which Minnesota had provided for her in case California got out of hand.

Give her two Thorazine pills. If she won't take them of her own accord, administer by injection of medication from accompanying syringe.

Use any means necessary.

Georgia put down the paper and took out the little orange prescription bottle.

"Hey, Cali, darlin'," she said. "Could you come here a moment?"


"I hope everyone had an enjoyable and productive time at this meeting," said Kenya. She doubted very much that anyone got anything accomplished, but it was expected for the host country to offer a few vague pleasantries at the end of these conferences. "On your way out, please, no one crowd the driveway, I've got workmen coming in to repave it and they need to get their trucks in."

Everyone began to gather their things and share a few words of parting chit-chat with their colleagues. The peace was not to last, however, as the sounds of a girl yelling in protest met their ears.

"NO! I WON'T AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

The doors slammed open and a teenage girl ran in, waving her arms erratically and screaming as she headed straight for America.

"Daddykins!" she shouted as she tackled the superpower, actually managing to knock him to the floor from the force of her impact. "Tell them I'm, like, not gonna do it."

A very mussed and frazzled Georgia entered the room, followed by two very tired and very annoyed children.

"Sorry about that, Daddy," said Georgia. "Didn't mean to interrupt or nothin', but California, here, is refusin' to take her pills."

The other nations stared in shock at the girl who was sobbing hysterically against America, who was still lying prone on the floor. Everyone recalled that Mexico had mentioned California was one of the children she and America had had together, but the girl certainly didn't look like a Mexican-American lovechild. If anything, she looked more like a Spain and China lovechild. Granted, a Spain-China lovechild with bleached-blonde hair and a little beauty mark under her left eye, but still.

The girl was dressed in a tight-fitted red tank top, black stretch pants, and was missing one of her fancy designer boots.

"I, like, don't wanna take those pills," California wailed. "And you can't make me, you-you…you crazy hillbilly!"

Georgia gave her sister a look as flat as Kansas' chest.

"Angelina, you need to take your meds," America said, gently pushing her off him and getting to his feet.

"But I don't wanna!"

"Cali-"

"What do I, like, have to do to make my point clear? Take off my clothes?"

The other nations stared, some a little more eagerly than was entirely appropriate, as California began to do exactly that. Georgia immediately started struggling with her to keep her from stripping, much to the disappointment of some of the more voyeuristic countries.

"Keep your clothes on, for God's sake, girl!" said Georgia. "What's the one thing I always told you? 'Don't embarrass the family.'"

"NO! No, no, no, no, no!"

The two children which had accompanied Georgia, both of whom looked a bit like California but not as…distinctive, pounced and got her around the legs. California screamed again and began bashing her fists against the floor, leaving rather large cracks in the tile. California managed to wrestle herself out of their grasp and ran over to the nearest table, picked it up with one hand, and tossed it at her family.

Clearly, she had inherited her father's superhuman strength. Unfortunately, she didn't have nearly as much self-restraint as he did (which was quite terrifying as no one really associated America with self-restraint, as it was).

America, Georgia, and the two young kids managed to duck just in time as the table soared towards them, resulting in the thing getting lodged in the wall behind them. California then began kicking at random pieces of furniture and then started banging her head against the other wall.

"What do you think, Daddy?" said Georgia.

"Pride-swallowing time," America said in resignation. He then turned and walked over to Mexico, who had been watching the display with notable disdain. "Uh, hey, Rosa? I don't suppose you could…"

"Only because she is my daughter," Mexico said sharply. "You know, she wouldn't be like this if she'd stayed with me."

America bit his tongue, though he did want to defend his parenting skills. He felt that he'd actually done a fairly good job with his kids, but California was just a little difficult. She'd always had a wild and uncontrollable disposition. In fact, when America had initially tried to get his daughter to come home, she'd shot at him and said that no one would ever tell the California Republic what to do again. After a couple weeks (twenty-five days in total) and some arguing and Texas calling her a number of unflattering things, California yielded and agreed to officially join her father's family but put off becoming an official state for a couple years, stringing everyone along with her hemming and hawing and her relentless questioning of what was in it for her.

These days, California wasn't nearly so emotionally complicated. She was just nuts.

"Alta California," Mexico said, pulling her daughter away from the wall which now had a California-shaped hole in it. "Calmly, now, mijita."

California gave a wail that shook the entire room. While most of the other countries tried to find cover, Mexico didn't even flinch. Instead, she gently shushed the obviously unhinged girl and said some reassuring things to her in Spanish. California actually seemed to be calming down, somewhat; however, Baja California Sur had taken the opportunity to get the syringe of Thorazine from Georgia, crept up behind her sister, and jabbed the needle into her...in a very uncomfortable place.

"AH! Betrayers! I, like, can't trust anyone! I-"

California's words were cut off as she toppled over face-first onto the floor. Everyone stood at a careful distance from her as she slowly stood up and idly brushed herself off. Her expression was noticeably calmer but tinged with a note of irritation.

"My sincerest apologies, Father," she said stiffly to America. "That was absolutely, unforgivably shameful of me." She gave Mexico a grateful nod. "My thanks, Mother."

"Don't forget, I'm the one who actually shot you full of Thorazine," said Baja California Sur.

"Ah, yes, thank you, Teresa."

Everyone had turned to look expectantly at America. America plastered on a smile, while internally he was screaming.

"Everyone, this would be my daughter, Angelina Jones, the state of California," he said.

"And I most sincerely and humbly apologize for causing such a disruption," she added. "It was horribly disrespectful of me."

The countries looked at her warily before turning their attention to the two children. Mexico sighed as she realized the time had come when she had to introduce her own states. In all honesty, she had wanted to keep her children far away from the nations because she didn't want them getting caught up in all the international issues that plagued her life. And a few other reasons, too.

"These are Felipe and Teresa," she said. "Baja California and Baja California Sur."

By this point, Spain had somehow managed to manifest himself right beside Mexico without her noticing.

"Mexico, why have you not introduced me to your little niños before?" He gave a charming smile to the Californias. "Hola, I am your Uncle Spain. It is nice to meet-"

"Conquistador!" Baja California screamed. He grabbed his little sister in his arms and bolted from the room in terror.

"That's why," said Mexico.

At that moment, Romano burst out laughing. It was such a strange occurrence that no one knew how to respond. In fact, poor Veneziano was looking worried at how openly and sincerely his normally angry older brother was laughing. It was somewhat unnerving.

"Well, if this is all settled," said the now-rational California. "We must be leaving. I wasted a whole day of filming and I have a teleconference in an hour. Father, I will see you at the hotel." She paused for a moment. "Felipe left without getting me my notes! And he still never got me that latte I asked for. Such disrespect."

She continued to grumble as she stalked from the room.

"America," said Kenya.

"Yes?"

"You do realize you will be paying for the damages your daughter caused to my conference room?"

"I'll get my checkbook."


Author's Note: I mentioned in the last chapter that California has a few…issues. She can be perfectly sane and reasonable once she takes her meds, but they've been getting less and less effective and she burns through them pretty quickly. The personality differences are meant to reflect the differences between northern and southern California (northern California is fairly sane, southern California is…not).

California, honey, why on earth did you wear designer boots to the desert? The answer: Because she, like, totally needs to look fabulous no matter where she is, brah.

Baja California and Baja California Sur both have two of the best educational systems in Mexico, so I think the personifications would be very intelligent; hence, why Baja California has a college degree when he's physically ten. Baja California, though, is also looking to get (Alta) California to invest in some of his real estate plans, so he accepted a job as her assistant; plus, as he said, his degree is in visual arts (he changed his major halfway through without telling his family) and he needed a job (because, let's be honest, you can't do a whole lot with a visual arts degree). The native people of Baja California did actually manage to repel permanent Spanish settlement until 1695 when the Jesuits showed up to start missionary work. The Baja Californias were also originally ceded to the U.S. after the Mexican-American War, but the U.S. agreed to give them back because Mexico was concerned about their proximity to Sonora.

Georgia is terrified of fire. During the Civil War, General Sherman burned down Atlanta, the heart of Georgia. Therefore, I think Georgia keeps a fire extinguisher with her most days, just to be safe.

No offence, Kansas. It was the only "flatter than a" joke I could think of that fit. You know how Rhode Island hates short jokes? Well, Kansas hates 'flat' jokes.

California was an independent republic for twenty-five days in 1846 before the American military showed up and said they were going to be part of the US. California became a state in 1850.

California has the largest population of Asian-Americans in the U.S., with Filipino and Chinese being the top two groups, hence why California looks a little bit like China. She used to look more like Mexico, but, as she was still a child when she became a state, her appearance began to change due to immigration patterns, especially because Chinese began immigrating to her en masse at right around the time she actually became a state.

California is the wealthiest state in the U.S. If it became its own country again, it would have the 5th largest economy of any country in the world. However, it also has some serious financial and economic problems, including the fact that it currently makes up one-third of the U.S.'s welfare system and has the highest poverty rate (at 23.5%).

I haven't been able to do a lot of character designing for the Mexican states because I don't know a lot about the stereotypes Mexicans have for other Mexicans (well, there was a lot for people from Mexico City and I did find a few references to how Nuevo León is like the Texas of Mexico, lots of oil tycoons and cowboys; kind of like how Alberta is considered the Texas of Canada for the same reason). If any of my followers in Mexico would be so kind as to let me know what kind of stereotypes exist for the Mexican states, I would greatly appreciate it.

Also, does anyone have any idea what Mexico and her children's surname should be? I know surnames are used differently in Spanish than in English, so if someone could give me some advice, again, I would appreciate it.

While Mexico has forgiven Spain for past transgressions, her children haven't met him before and so associate him with the bad memories they inherited from the land. It's like how the Thirteen dislike England because they never met him and only really have their inherited memories to go off of. Makes things a little awkward.

Oh, I recently had to go back and clean up Massachusetts' accent a little because someone pointed out it wasn't quite right (thanks go out to Midnightphoenix of the Haunted). All I really know about accents in certain states is what I've found online. I've lived back and forth between Maryland and Virginia my whole life and I have been to New England exactly twice for vacation (with one of those time being when I was a kid). So, please, correct me if I mess up someone's accent. I don't like making mistakes like that and I depend on my readers to give me feedback.