"What are you doing?" Brittany asked and Santana looked up at her, tears filled her eyes. "I can't do it Britt" she said as the tears spilled down her cheeks "I just can't"

"You can do anything Santana" Brittany frowned and reached out for Santana, Santana shook her head as Brittany took her in her arms, pulling Santana against her tightly.

"It's just so hard" she whimpered as her tears kept falling "I miss you so much"

"I know" the blonde said and kept her arms around Santana tightly, keeping her close and secure.

"I want to be with you" Santana said and pressed her lips to Brittany's neck, her skin was cold.

"And you will be" Brittany replied and rubbed circles on Santana's back "but not yet"

Santana lifted her head and looked at Brittany who looked back at her, their eyes locked, a tear slipped down Brittany's cheek.

"Why" Santana asked "Why are you doing this to me, stop making me wait" she said her voice was pained "I need to be with you"

"You have your whole life ahead of you Santana" Brittany said, her arms still around her girlfriend.

"But you did too…" Santana said "and I fucked it up" her heart felt like it was being torn apart at the thought of that day.

Brittany shook her head "it wasn't your fault" Santana looked at her confused

"What do you mean?" she managed between sobs "it was completely my fault"

Brittany ran her thumb across Santana's cheek, wiping the tears as they fell.

"I wasn't wearing my seatbelt, Santana" Brittany said "if I had been, then we wouldn't be in this pickle"

Santana shook her head refusing to believe it was Brittany's fault.

"Santana" Brittany's voice was soft, like velvet "stop it, please" Santana looked away, she wanted to stop crying, and she wanted to show Brittany that she was being strong, but she just couldn't, not anymore.

"Baby…" Brittany pouted and turned Santana's face back to her own and started peppering it with kisses "we'll be together again, I promise"

"I don't want to wait forever" Santana said and ran her fingers through Brittany's hair "I can barely go an hour without you, and to know that I don't get to see you, or feel you, I can't Brittany, I just can't"

"You can, Santana, you're strong and you're brave and you're not alone" Brittany tried her best to reassure the broken raven haired girl that stood in her arms, her tears slowly shredding her to even smaller pieces.

"I'm alone" Santana said clinging onto Brittany, her warmth was starting to come back, Santana could almost smell the sweet sugary smell of Brittany's skin, she never wanted to let her go.

"I'm alone without you" she said and looked up at Brittany, taking in every inch of her perfect face.

"Be brave for me Santana" Brittany said and Santana felt her arms slipping away from around her own body. She shook her head and tried to hold onto Brittany as she started fading away.

"Don't be afraid" Brittany's voice was a whisper "I love you"


Santana's eyes fluttered open, a fluorescent white ceiling filled her vision, she looked around the room, white walls surrounded her. Dried tears sat around her eyes as she looked down at herself coming to realization that the only place that she could possibly be was the hospital.

People come here to die she thought to herself and let her head fall back against the pile of pillows behind her. It should be me. She sighed and looked at the needle that was stuck in her arm, frowning it lead her eyes down to the long scar that ran along her forearm. She shifted uncomfortably on the hospital bed, her eyes caught sight of a familiar figure asleep on the visitors chair next to her bed.

"Quinn?" she croaked in surprise

The blonde stirred and lifted her head from the back of the chair sleepily looking at Santana a smile crossed her face.

"Hi" she said the sound of her familiar voice was like a comfort blanket to Santana "You're awake"

Confusion clouded Santana's mind as she tried to make sense of what happened, she looked at Quinn her dark eyes were still vaguely vacant.

"What's going on?" she asked frowning her voice thick and husky

Quinn sat forward and rubbed her tired eyes, she was in grey and blue Yale sweatpants and big cardigan, her hair was a mess and she had no make-up on, it looked like she had left her house in a hurry without bothering to change.

"You passed out" she replied "in Central Park" Santana shut her eyes in embarrassment.

"You were lucky Blaine and your friend were there, they called an ambulance and you were here in ten minutes, Blaine told Kurt and Kurt told Rachel who called me immediately and I got in my car straight away, your friend only left when I got here, I told her to go home and get some rest"

Quinn's hand had found it's way to Santana's and she ran her fingers over it delicately.

"She's really quite pretty isn't she, what was her name, Audrey?" Quinn smirked slightly

Santana shook her head overwhelmed by everything Quinn had just explained to her

"How long was I out?" she asked carefully avoiding Quinn's comment on Audrey

Quinn was quiet for a moment, she looked down at her lap and let out a small sigh

"They said you went into a coma" her eyes met Santana's "but luckily you were out for just over a day"

Santana's mouth fell open in shock, she didn't move her eyes off Quinns as she tried to process.

"You don't need to say anything" Quinn said comfortingly giving Santana's hand a squeeze "I know it's a lot to take in"

Santana shook her head "Thank you" she said weakly

Quinn smiled "What for?"

"For coming here"

"Well I had too, I needed to know that you were going to be alright" she paused "and I wanted to see you"

Santana felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth "I've missed you"

Quinn bit her lip "I was going to come and see you sooner, I wanted to talk to you but I was just…"

Her sentence was cut off as the doors suddenly swung open and Audrey walked in with a coffee in her hand.

"Oh my god" she exclaimed seeing Santana was awake, she rushed over to the bed then stopped seeing Quinns hand over Santana's she looked between them.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly choosing to ignore what she had seen

"Overwhelmed" Santana said giving her a little smile

An awkward silence filled the space between the three girls, Quinn caught Audrey's eyes on her and she subtly withdrew her hand from Santana's, although she had no reason to be awkward about their relationship but for some reason she felt like the intruder.

"Um I might go get something to eat" she said standing up

"Wait" Santana said reaching out and grabbing Quinns hand

"You're not leaving are you?"

Quinn chuckled and shook her head "Of course not"

Letting her hand drop from Quinn's Santana smiled "okay good, do you have somewhere to stay?"

Quinn shook her head "I'll find a place don't worry"

"You can stay at mine" Santana said quickly for some reason not wanting Quinn to be out of her sight

"Are you're sure?" A gleam of happiness sparked behind Quinn's eyes

Santana nodded "of course"

"Okay" a grin spread across Quinns face "I'll come back later"

Audrey looked between the girls as Quinn left chewing on her lip awkwardly she wondered whether it had been a good idea for her to come.

"You two seem…close" she said when Quinn had gone

Santana looked at her and sighed "Yeah were we at high school together, we were top of the cheerleading team and joined glee club together and everything"

Audrey nodded and looked down at the coffee cup in her hands

"Was I like, interrupting something?" she asked quietly

Santana lifted an eyebrow "she's just my friend Aud"

"Didn't seem like that" Audrey muttered Santana rolled her eyes

"Brittany was my girl" Santana said "my one and only, Quinn is my best friend"

"What about the other one?" Audrey asked

"What other one?"

"The brunette who was crying everywhere"

Santana paused for a moment in thought

"Rachel?"

"Yeah" Audrey said looking back up at her "Rachel"

Santana couldn't help but laugh "Rachel cried?"

Audrey nodded with a small smile "they told us you were in a coma and she burst into tears"

Santana shook her head "that's just weird"

Audrey stayed with Santana for a couple of hours, the awkwardness dropped and they went back to being comfortable with each other, but Santana couldn't stop thinking about what Quinn was about to tell her before Audrey had arrived. Several nurses and doctors came in to check on her, they removed the needle from her arms and tube from her nose, they took her blood pressure and checked her heartbeat. Santana started feeling a lot better, the slow throbbing at the back of her head was fading and she almost felt ready to go home.

"It shouldn't even be beating anymore" Santana wanted to say to them "I should have died with my girlfriend, or at least instead of her"

Quinn came back after a couple of hours, Audrey had already gone to start her shift, so when Quinn slipped back into the room with a had a brown paper bag in hand a smile immediately spread across her face.

"I'm back" she said in a sing-song voice

"Do you come bearing gifts?" Santana asked looking at the bag she was holding

"I come bearing food" she said "I know how much hospital food sucks"

"You are my savior" Santana grinned as Quinn sat down next to her and handed her the bag

"I saw Rachel" Quinn said watching Santana as she pulled out a chicken panini and stared at it like it was the first food she had seen in years

"What'd she say?" Santana said distracted

"She asked how you were and then she invited us to a Thanksgiving party with Kurt and Blaine and some guy called Brody"

"Brody?" Santana mumbled with her mouth stuffed full

"Yeah some new guy of hers apparently"

Santana widened her eyes in surprise "what about Finn?"

Quinn shrugged "no idea"

"She also said to bring Audrey"

Santana wiped her mouth and took a swig from the orange juice bottle.

"Oh"

"What's up with you two anyway?" she asked

"Nothing" Santana said inspecting the rest of her panini

"Come on you know you can't lie to me"

"She kissed me" Santana said dismissively and Quinn raised an eyebrow

"She's just my friend though, I don't…I'm not ready for anyone else"

Quinn nodded understandingly "Brittana forever right"

Santana looked up at Quinn a sparkle in her eyes "Absolutely, you're like the only person that gets it" Santana sighed

"Everyone else tries to push me into going out and meeting people, I don't want to, I don't want anyone but Brittany and if I can't have her then I'm gonna be alone"

She looked at Quinn and noticed that she quickly glanced away as their eyes met.

"Anyway, you were going to tell me something before Audrey came by"

"Oh yeah" Quinn said softly "doesn't matter though, it wasn't important"

"You sure?" Santana asked unconvinced

"Yeah" Quinn said looking at her making brief eye contact

At that moment the doctor came in with a clipboard.

"Miss Lopez" he said signing something at the bottom of the page "if you could just sign here then you're free to go"

Santana took the clipboard from him and quickly signed her name.

"I have these for you also" he said handing her a vial of tablets "these are for your head they'll make you feel a lot better, and these" he said placing another vial in her hand "are anti-depressants, I know you've had quite a bit of trauma, these might help a little bit"

Santana studied in the vials in her hand and tried not to sigh, she hated taking pills and she hated people trying to convince her that by taking them it would help. It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't bring Brittany back, so it was pointless.

"I'll make sure she takes them, thank you" Quinn said when Santana failed to reply

The doctor smiled "if you need anything at all just come back" he turned to Quinn "and just check her when she's sleeping, we don't want her slipping back into that coma again, she shouldn't, but it always pays to be careful"

Quinn nodded "Okay thank you" she said as he left