So, no one has reviewed in a while. Bit rude, if you ask me. But to be fair, I did call you all knobs in the last chapter. I'm sure you are all lovely human beings, continue favouriting and following. But also, please review.


Crystal looked down at me, a bewildered smile on her face as she started walking towards me. She was wearing elvish clothes, and I could see her ears were pointed. What the frilly hell.

Kili ran up to me protectively, grabbing me and pulling me up on my feet before standing in front of me, his sword ready to fight.

"No way." Crystal said, smirking down from Kili to me.

I could see her mind connecting the dots as Kili protected me. I didn't need to even tell her about Kili; she already knew.

"What?" I asked, staring up at her in confusion and grabbing onto Kili's upper arm, as if that would protect me.

Technically, I didn't need his protection. But she wasn't supposed to be here. She couldn't be here. How was she here, and how was she a freaking elf? How could this be even in the realm of possible?

"Stand back." Kili said, and Crystal raised a brow at him.

She then continued walking up to the spider, nonchalantly pulling her sword out of its face.

Crystal was not a tall elf, mind you. But she taller than me. Which she hadn't been in our world. She was still as beautiful as she was in our world, though. If anything, Middle-Earth had given her an elegance I could never achieve.

"Crystal?" I asked her, still unbelieving it.

"You know this elf?" Kili asked as he turned slightly to me, a concerned look on his face.

"Malia." She said back, her smile growing as she looked me up and down and sauntered closer to us. "What are you?"

"What?" I asked. "How did you, I'm sorry, what the fuck?"

"Search them!" An unfamiliar voice yelled, and I followed Crystal's gaze to a blonde elf that was in front of the rest of the company, which was about 25 feet away from us.

"Sorry." Crystal said as she looked back at me, and with one swift motion she yanked the bow at of my hand.

I blinked a few times and looked at my now-empty hand in surprise. I had just started liking that bow.

"Nice bow though." Crystal added, looking at the bow up and down.

Crystal looked up from the bow and gave Kili a funny look. "Don't try it, Kili." Crystal said, the smirk returning on her face. "I'd rather not fight my best friend's boyfriend."

Kili was extremely taken aback by her words, and with his defenses down, Crystal was able to pluck the sword out of his hand before looking back at me and waiting for me to hand her my quiver.

"I'm not happy about this." I told her as I took my quiver off, and handed it to her.

"Yeah, but you're too tiny now to really be much of a hassle." She said before pausing in thought. "Actually, I bet you still are a hassle."

The blonde elf yelled at her in elvish, and Crystal groaned before yelling back at him in elvish. I watched in confusion. I had known she had learned Elvish in our world because she was a mega nerd, I just had never thought in my wildest dreams that her learning it would actually turn out to be helpful.

"Come on then." Crystal said, motioning for us to go ahead of her and join the company. "No funny business."

I sighed, and slowly started walking towards the company.

"Malia." Kili whispered as he grabbed my hand, his feet matching my pace. "You must explain how you know her." He held on tighter.

"That's my best friend. The one from my world. Who shouldn't be here either."

"How did she get here?" Kili asked quietly as we watched all the elves begin talking amongst themselves.

"I don't know how I got here, Kee." I reminded him, flashing him an apologetic look.

Kili sighed angrily, muttering; "Durin zabukuna."

I tried to ignore what that could possibly mean, and I watched as one of the elves was still searching Fili.

"Dear lord how many weapons is your brother carrying?" I asked him.

Kili didn't respond, and I looked at him and realized; I don't even think he knew how many weapons his brother was caring.

The blonde elf leader, whom I started to figure was a young Legolas, yelled something in elvish. The rest of the elves started pushing us, one of them being sure to yank Kili away from me. God, it hadn't been my day, not even in the slightest.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked to see it was Crystal, and she winked at me before motioning for me to be silent. I nodded angrily, and then she pushed me and went along like the rest of the elves.

So I was back to being pushed around. They led us through the forest, and into a huge city made of trees. It was beautiful, and I wish I could've admired the view, but Crystal kept pushing me every five seconds.

They lead us down to the cells, and we all got our own cell.

"How lovely." I said sarcastically as she shoved me into the cell.

"I'll be back later." She whispered as she locked the door. "I'm sorry." She quickly added before darting off.

I groaned and sat back in the cell, resting my back against the wall. Within seconds I was already restless.

"Kili?" I called out, crawling to the cell door, and pressing my ear out the bars.

"Aye, I'm here." Kili said.

"I'm sorry." I said, although I wasn't sure what I was sorry for, I knew I was sorry.

"Don't be." Kili replied gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You'll both be sorry if you don't shut it." Dwalin yelled.

"Charming as always." I yelled back to Dwalin.

"They even found my last sword." Fili yelled from his cell.

It was about ten minutes into our captivity when I heard a bunch of them start trying to shove their way through the doors. By the sounds of the grunts, it appeared to be Dwalin, Fili, Kili, Oin and Gloin.

So basically all of the Durin's folk besides Balin, who was probably sitting in his cell thinking he was too old for this shit.

I listened to them grunting and throwing themselves at the bars for at least five minutes.

"There is no way out!" Balin finally shouted. "This is no Orc dungeon. These are the halls of the woodland realm. No one leaves here but by the king's consent."

I groaned, pulling the rune-stone out of my dress pocket. I closed my eyes, my thumb feeling the runes etched on it. It made me feel calmer, which was something I needed whilst in a cell waiting for Crystal.


Crystal came to my cell not long after Thorin had been thrown into his own cell. A big smile was on her face. I was still angry for the cold shoulder. I frowned at her and looked back down at the rune-stone, gently passing it from hand to hand.

"Oh come on, you can't be mad at me." Crystal insisted as her long fingers curled around the bars. "It's not like I could explain all of this to them."

"I don't need you to explain it to them." I hissed at her, still looking down at the rune-stone. "I need you to explain it to me."

Crystal frowned, looking down at the ground and nodding before she let go of the bars. She then plopped herself on the ground outside the cell.

"It was about a week after you had disappeared. I was angry, and scared. I thought you had died, Malia." Crystal sighed.

"It was the anniversary of your mother's disappearance, and your dad was livid. He kept mentioning the woods. So I had went out into the woods by your house that night. I don't remember what happened or how I got here, though. I think I tripped. When I first got here, I was nearly eaten by spiders."

I didn't respond.

"Spiders, Malia. You imagine waking up with something that big and hairy looking at you." She said, shivering at the memory.

"I did." I said as I glanced at her for a moment. "I woke up and Dwalin was looking at me."

Crystal smiled, shaking her head at me before continuing.

"By the time I realized where I was, they had already accepted me. I had no clue if you were here, or what-have-you. I never thought you'd be with the company, let alone that you'd be," Crystal motioned to me.

"A creepy hybrid of dwarf and hobbit? Yeah, me either." I huffed, holding onto the rune-stone tighter.

"It's not creepy." Crystal insisted. "I can't believe you got to be a hobbit. You're so lucky. Man, I wish I could've been turned into whatever you are. Or have appeared wherever you did. What did I get out of all of this?"

"A thriving career?" I supplemented, looking at her.

Crystal paused, in deep thought. "I suppose so." She smiled and nodded before sighing. "But we need to get down to brawny ticks."

"I really don't think that's the saying."

"Not the point. You know how this book ends." Crystal said.

"Shh!" I looked around. "They can hear you."

"No they can't. Not if we talk quietly." Crystal said. "See?" She was silent for a moment. "Dwarves are shit and I hate them."

We listened to see if any of the Dwarves had a fit at her words, but the dungeons remained silent.

"Or this, Durins-folk are dimwitted loons."

There was still silence.

"Okay, I get it." I hissed to her. "Stop the insulting before I get offended."

Crystal snorted.

"Now, we need to talk strategy." Crystal said. "First off, tell me everything that has happened so far. I need to figure out what kind of storyline we are on."

"I need to tell you something." I said to her, frowning and looking back down at the Rune-stone.

"You never read the books so you're clueless, I know Malia." She said offhandedly.

"How did you know that?" I asked her, my mouth going agape.

"When we were watching the movies I told you to look up and you were surprised by the ending, and I had asked you why you were surprised." She looked at me, a brow raised at me. "And when you did that whole," She mimicked me shrugging and bobbing my head. "I assumed you actually hadn't read it."

I let out a loud groan and told her everything. From waking up in front of Bilbo's house, to Kili and I expressing our feelings or whatever for each other. I tried not leave anything out, but my memory isn't always the best, nor are my summarization skills.

"It sounds like, I mean, besides you and I being here, that this is the movie storyline." Crystal said, her face scrunching up. "And Gandalf said you wouldn't mess things up?"

"Yes." I sighed. "Believe it or not."

"But Tauriel isn't here." Crystal added. "And don't ask me where she is, because apparently it's a very touchy subject for Legolas." Crystal sighed.

"Do you remember the movie plot line?" Crystal asked me.

"I remember how hard it was to get the damn water to the alligator." I said to her.

"So you were playing games on your phone the whole time." She remarked.

"Not the whole time." I said as I began fiddling with the Rune-stone again. "Just you know…" I paused. "…most of it."

She stared at me unamused for a moment before she finally noticed the Rune-stone.

"What's that?"

"Rune-stone." I grumbled, looking down at it.

"A Rune-stone?" She sputtered. "That's…" She was fumbling for words.

"Kili's?" I supplemented, refusing to look at her as I felt my cheeks grow red.

"When did he give you that?" She asked.

"I told you he gave it to me in Rivendell." I said as I looked at her, annoyed.

"No," She frowned. "You had told me he had given you a rock in Rivendell. You didn't tell me it was the freaking," Her voice started to rise.

"Shh!" I hissed, looking at her lividly.

"Did he tell you what it meant?" Crystal asked, looking at it.

"It means 'Return to Me'." I said, shrugging.

"Oh, gross." She said. "That's sickeningly romantic."

"It's not!" I said as I felt my cheeks heat up again. "He gave it to me as a token of our friendship."

Crystal snorted. "Is that what he told you?"

"Yes?"

Crystal started flat out laughing like a hyena. "And you believed him?"

"Stop it." I demanded. "Yes, I believed him. Shh, they will hear you."

"Good." She nearly yelled. "He needs to hear this." She said to me before getting up. "I'm very sorry everyone. Malia's very oblivious. You need to say what you mean with her." Crystal yelled.

"Stop!" I yelled.

"Maybe even spell it out for her. That might be more helpful." She continued yelling.

"I will kill you." I snapped at her, putting the Rune-stone down and gripping onto the bars, ready to try and throttle her.

She watched me an amused look growing on her face. "I've only done it for the betterment of your life. You're welcome." She sighed. "I will meet you in lake-town. We will continue planning there, but if I'm right, and I'm always right, Bilbo is bound to come soon and rescue you guys. I won't say a word." Crystal said.

"Oh, you're leaving me now?" I asked, frowning.

"You just threatened to murder me, you insane pigmy." Crystal reminded me as she brushed her dress off. "I'll see you later. Be safe, okay?"

"I'll be safe, you… deranged bean stalk." I muttered as I let go of the bars, settling back down against the wall.

Crystal sighed, rolling her eyes before ignoring my words and turning on her heel, leaving.


Bilbo opened my door second to last. A little rude if you ask me, but at least he opened it. Could've been worse I suppose. He could've just left me.

"That she-elf saw me." Bilbo said to me.

"And what did she say?" I asked him as I left the cell.

"She said, 'I'm sorry you have to deal with her'." Bilbo remarked.

I nearly choked. Of course Crystal would say something like that. What a… Deranged Bean Stalk.

"Up the stairs!" Thorin hissed as everyone gathered near the stairs.

Dwalin grabbed Ori, and was about to push him up the stairs when Kili deliberately walked towards me and away from the stairs with a concerned look on his face.

"Not that way, down here. Follow me." Bilbo hissed, and I watched as he took a few steps down the stairs towards the lower levels.

I pointed towards Bilbo, motioning for Kili to follow.

Kili frowned slightly, and I couldn't help but stifle a laugh. What was his deal now?

"Kee, bigger things at hand." I whispered as I grabbed his shoulders, slowly forcing him to turn and keeping my hands on his shoulders as he started following Bofur down the stairs.

We kept going farther and farther below, through hallways and over bridges until finally we entered a room full of wine barrels.

"This way." Bilbo whispered as he motioned for us to go ahead of him, past the sleeping guards and to the larger barrels across the room.

"I don't believe it!" Kili hissed as he looked around. "We're in the cellars!"

"You're supposed to be leading us out, not further in!" Bofur snapped.

"Shh!" I said, taking one of my hands from Kili's shoulder and putting it over my mouth.

"I know what I'm doing." Bilbo hissed back to Bofur.

"Shh!" Bofur added, frowning at Bilbo.

Bilbo looked at him incredulously before sighing. "This way, this way." Bilbo followed us to the barrels and then motioned to them. "Everyone, climb into the barrels quickly."

I nodded, letting go of Kili's shoulders and climbing into the first barrel I saw. I poked my head out and watched the others.

"Are you mad?" Dwalin asked. "They'll find us."

"No, no." Bilbo shook his head. "They won't I promise you. Please, please, you must trust me."

Everyone paused.

"Do as he says." Thorin commanded, and just like that, everyone was cramming themselves into the barrels.

"Right then Malia." Kili said as he bent down. "Shove over." He said as he pushed his way into my barrel.

I moved over as he settled himself into the barrel. He was next to me, and he smiled at me before looking at the others.

"What do we do now?" Bofur asked as he peered out of his barrel.

Bilbo walked towards a lever. "Hold your breath."

The ground beneath our barrels started to move, and I smiled at Kili as he looked back at me.

Without even thinking, I quickly hugged Kili before grabbing onto the edges of the barrel and looking into his eyes and saying, "Hold on tight."

Kili threw his arms over my shoulders, gripping the barrel behind me as the ground beneath us gave out, and we went tumbling down into the water.

The second our barrel turned right-side up, I peered out and looked for something to grab.

This was my area of expertise. Crystal and I used to go tubing all the time, and we'd sometimes get separated from each other and need to grab onto rocks and wait for the other.
Mainly, I'd end up swimming instead of tubing, and I'd end up way ahead of her as she continued actually tubing down the river.

There were rocks nearby, and I squirmed out of Kili's grip and grabbed a rock, holding our barrel in place.

Thorin in front of us noticed this and did the same thing.

"Everyone grab arms!" I yelled, and Kili let go of the barrel and turned around, his arm going out and grabbing Fili's.

Within a minute we were all linked up and waiting for Bilbo, who fell down without a barrel. He grabbed onto Bombur's and Thorin smiled at him.

"Well done, Master Baggins." Thorin said as he motioned for us all to let go of each other. "Hold on!"

I let go of the rock, and sunk down in the barrel as it went over a cascade. Water splashed into the barrel and Kili sputtered, wiping his eyes and looking around.

An elvish horn blew loudly, and I groaned. They had already spotted us.

"Shiit." I groaned as I peered farther out of the barrel to look ahead.

"Malia, stop before you fall in." Kili snapped, his hands going to my waist to yank me further back into the barrel.

"As if that would be the worst thing to happen to me today." I replied sarcastically as we went over a bigger rapid, the water spraying in my face.

Kili grumbled and let go of me as he looked behind us, and I peered farther back out of the barrel and down stream to see the gate closing, blocking us from continuing down river.

Thorin got trapped at the gate, and slowly we all built up behind him. I frowned as I looked around, spotting a staircase nearby.

The Dwarves started groaning and bickering, and suddenly they were fighting both Orcs and Elves.

Whom, in my opinion, had come out of nowhere.

It was now or never. There was a lever above, and it needed to be pulled. If anyone in the company could be the one to do that and then swim to follow up with them if need be, it would be me. I mean, how hard could it be?

"I got this." I huffed, jumping up onto the barrel's edges and towards the staircase, using Dwalin's and Fili's as stepping stones.

"Malia!" Kili yelled angrily as my feet hit the ground.

"It's fine!" I yelled as my eyes grew and I ducked as an Orc swung it's sword at me.

It wasn't fine. I was fighting an Orc without a weapon.

"Malia, here!" Dwalin yelled, and I turned just as Dwalin threw a long spear in my direction, spear-end first.

I grabbed it and stabbed the Orc behind me in the stomach as I turned around. I pushed the spear farther in, twisting it as the Orc groaned in pain before I yanked it out and jumped up a step.

I heard the Orc behind me fall to the ground, but there was another Orc on me before I got halfway up the stairs.

I growled passively as I frowned and swung the spear. The Orc dogged it and swung its sword at me, and I side-stepped before twirling my spear and holding it tightly like a javelin and driving it into the Orc's neck and following it to the ground, leaping over it's body onto the final tier of steps.

Who would've guessed I could be that badass? Not me, that's for sure.

I leapt up the stairs and ran towards the lever, starting to grow much more confident in myself that I should've.

Because the next thing that happened was me being shot in the upper thigh with an arrow.