Sanji didn't trust that Law would keep this event secret for very long – it would prove he had a conscience after all. So while he hid out in his hotel room to recover, he made up plans to help keep his secrets covered up. He couldn't hold himself with his head up straight if his friends ever found out about his past – they'd all come to the same conclusion, and he couldn't bear that. They'd look at him with pity in their eyes, treat him different, release that Ah Ha! expression they'd surely have once they realized that he struggled with men. He figured he could only blackmail Law for a certain amount of time because that man did not care. Although, he had to admit that there was some degree of compassion because he'd gone ahead with Sanji's requests without much of a fight.
Sanji understood that Lamie was precious to Law – this made Sanji feel good because there was a sibling relationship that was good and pure. How lucky were they to have each other? Sanji was envious of that relationship – he found himself hoping that Law got his shit together to keep Lamie safe. She was such a sweet girl.
He spent most of the week recovering from the injuries, using basic supplies Law had brought him the next day – that tooth he lost was gone, but the other three loose ones had reattached to his gums. He was positive his jaw had been cracked but nothing could be done about that. His ribs were in sore condition – it hurt to cough or breathe, but nothing internal felt pierced. He couldn't see much out of his eyes because they were swollen shut, and his nose was cracked; everything hurt. Niji and Yonji had put their boots and fists to him but it wasn't anything that hadn't been done before.
He tried to remember why they'd even showed up in the first place – in the concussed memories he had, Niji had said something about spending too much money. Maybe their father had sent them to somehow eliminate the sole source of their aching bank accounts. Whichever, Judge would be pissed to know Sanji lived.
And it was all thanks to feeling horny and having Law scheduled to come over anyway.
He snickered tightly, then held his hand to his ribs. Room service had stopped by to clean his room and replace items upon request – he gave them a flowery version of a car wreck that had him on pause during a road trip to the East Coast. The hospital had cleared him from their clutches and he was spending time recovering while his insurance sorted out the rental car mess. The cheery ladies were easily accepting of his story, lavishing him with extras while he left them with big tips. Without his phone, he wasn't sure if his brothers were calling him to 'check up on him', but he trusted Law to cover that for him.
Nearly two weeks later, the older man finally popped in to visit. He looked haggard, wearing eyebags that were deeply bruised and a sluggish countenance that suggested he'd spent too many nights awake thinking. Sanji wondered what Law thought about. Neither of them expressed anything to each other that could resemble Feeling.
"You aren't dead yet?" Law asked crankily, holding a bag at his side as his eyes visually inspected Sanji from head to toe. Sanji's eyes were open enough to see this inspection, giving a grim nod.
"I'm too angry to die," Sanji assured him, jaw barely moving. The bruises that mottled his face made him look like someone had pulled him from some type of crash. The only crooked thing about it was the angle of his nose. "What's that?"
"Clothes." Law shut the door and locked it behind him. Sanji thought he seemed a little jumpy. His tongue found the empty space in his teeth to worry over while he fought showing any type of expression to encourage the older man into thinking he was some type of weak character. Law then tossed him his phone. "I muted the damn thing. I can hear Strawhat's texts in my sleep."
Sanji looked through his messages. It did sound like his friends had accepted his impromptu visit to France with much agitation and dismay. Luffy texted him almost hourly. His brothers had only texted that one night – he never saved their numbers.
"Wow," he murmured, "you almost sound like I do. I'm impressed…"
"My sister thinks I killed somebody," Law said sourly, still standing at the door. "And I have no other excuse to give."
"Couldn't you have lied and made up a story about a feat of heroism? My hero," Sanji then said sarcastically, rising from the chair with a show of strength. "Here's what you do next – go back to the house, take more money from the bathroom. Take her on a shopping spree, partake in a fancy dinner. Preferably the restaurant downtown, in the casino. Take her to a spa, pamper her. Then tell her what you did- you saved a dead man from actually dying."
"I had some time to think about this," Law said, ignoring all that. "I don't care what you say to her. My past is fucked up, but it's nothing new from the horror stories you read up on the news. The fact that we did stuff – that's nothing that's going to hurt me."
"It might, it might not," Sanji said slowly, taking the bag he held. Extra underwear, sweats, pull over shirts (that demon) – nothing fancy. Also included was his toothbrush, some toiletry items and his phone charger. Now that his brain was a little clearer, he could take over on the duty. "But you said you come from abuse. What a shame it'll be if she learns you only shifted defensive behavior to offensive. And I only kept quiet because I feared for my life. Your behavior alone leaves a lot for somebody to worry over."
Law grit his teeth. It wasn't the step Sanji wanted to take, but here he was – being threatened.
He returned to the chair and sat slowly. "I bring up my case to the authorities once they start asking after you talk to someone, and have them dig around a bit – it'll be a media sensation, considering their names. Blasted over the world for their crimes. My name will be redacted because I am a sexual assault victim – but everyone will know it was me. My friends will react with pity towards me. They'll whisper behind their hands and make special visits just to check up on me. My shame and guilt about that whole area will build in such a way that the only relief I'll find is actual death. My suicide will hit you the hardest because you knew it'd turn that way, and yet you decided that 'you don't care'."
Law stared at him in intense silence while Sanji dumped the bag onto the bed nearby.
"I want to live," Sanji said slowly, focused on the task, "to see them die in a way that'll only satisfy my thirst. Surely you understand that."
Law couldn't find any response to that. He understood and yet he didn't.
But he managed to say, "How much money does that pampering cost?"
Sanji felt his chest tighten. He felt rotten. He wasn't sure why, and yet he absolutely knew why. He wished Law put up more of a fight against his tactics. The things he'd learned to use to survive were things he didn't want to be.
"As much as you can grab," he answered softly.
Law took Lamie out. He told her an awkward story of how he'd found an older man in the streets on his way back home and saved him. In return for his heroism, the old man had given him money to keep the incident secret – he hadn't wanted for attention, and Law had felt the same. Lamie, after days of repressing herself from asking anything, seemed to warm up to the idea. But she suggested that they use the money to pay off his car, and pay extra on the energy bill instead.
To know he was using money Sanji's family gave him to keep his secrets made Law feel like he was contributing to the crime. He felt absolutely terrible because he was keeping a secret that could have ended with a man's death. But at the same time, he understood because he could almost feel the same.
He was able to help Lamie enroll into adult education classes so she could obtain her GED. But in the midst of all this noise, she seemed quieter – jumpy and paranoid, developing habits that included making sure the doors and windows were locked tight. She started to sleep less and do more, and Law couldn't ask her why she was doing all of this. She seemed to have accepted his story, but had remained unsettled. Sometimes, he caught her looking at him with a sort of suspicious air but she was also sad at the same time.
Whatever conclusions were coming to her head made him feel anxious. He was nothing like their parents, nothing like the home he'd come from. He felt like insisting upon it, but it wouldn't make sense to do so when he was keeping such a loaded secret. He felt angry at Sanji.
Law wondered if Sanji felt anything for him. He wasn't sure what he'd thought he'd wanted but Law knew he didn't want this. He was still with some type of feeling but it left him feeling scraped out and angry all over again. A helpless, hopeless type of anger that didn't have any resolution or hope in it. He couldn't develop feelings for someone that didn't want them, but because he felt this way, he had to acknowledge that he had developed some type of feeling inside of him.
"You didn't thank me for saving you," he ended up saying one day, bringing the man another set of clothes from home. He wanted to ask why Sanji hadn't returned to that house yet – was the younger man afraid to do so, afraid to be attacked by his brothers? Or just hiding away from his own vulnerability?
Sanji's face looked much better, but he'd clearly lost weight with the injuries and so his face was a ruin of caves and jutting angles while he worked his jaw in a way that wouldn't bother him. He still spoke tightly.
"I haven't decided whether or not I appreciate being saved," he said slowly. Law realized the man hadn't looked him in the face since Nami's birthday. It was bizarre to feel hurt realizing that – but he recognized this was one of Sanji's tactics to discourage his continued involvement in feelings with men. So Law rationalized with himself that the only reason Sanji treated him this way was because he was battling his own feelings. That hurt was soothed over with a gesture of strange relief.
"You're a hard man to please."
Sanji looked at him with a sharp dart of his eyes. "Don't allow yourself to think that you're pleasing me in any way."
Law didn't take that offensively because most men struck out with their fists to defend themselves. Because Sanji was weak with his hands, it made sense that his defense was as weak. So he fought off the shadow of a smirk because he had to fight how much that very concept pleased him.
"When are you leaving this cave?" Law then asked, glancing around the room. Like the house, it looked unoccupied.
"Soon as it looks like I hadn't been in an accident of some kind. I don't want any suspicions."
"Why'd they do that?"
Sanji shrugged a shoulder. "Just reminding me that they're there, I guess."
"Nothing else happened…?"
"No," Sanji replied sharply, looking at him again.
"Which one do I remind you of?"
Sanji's expression turned bitter and he turned his focus to the clean table nearby. Law thought that the comment would harm both of them, but the question weighed heavily on his thoughts at night, and after everything, Sanji owed him an explanation. Or, at least, acknowledgement.
"None of them, I suppose," Sanji then answered quietly. "Congratulations, you broke the mold."
Law absorbed that answer with a nod. "Well, don't I feel special?"
Sanji looked at him, and Law wondered what the man ate to survive this long. He thought of the vending machine outside, near the office. He realized he couldn't help him in that aspect – he was a shit cook himself.
"I do…appreciate the efforts you took in keeping those idiots off my back," Sanji then said slowly. "That earns a….big thank you."
"I demand hazardous pay. Strawhat was merciless and couldn't stop calling me."
Sanji looked at him once again, eyebrows furrowing with the question before it even left his mouth. "Are you really that concerned that I'd off myself?"
"No," Law answered. There were many things he could add to that, but they suddenly didn't leave him. He cleared his throat, looking down at his late summer outfit. He was sweating like a pig and this room was stifling. "I just fear word getting out that I assisted you and having their wrath."
"You're scared of Luffy…?"
"I'm terrified," Law corrected him slowly, "that they'll never leave me the fuck alone."
Sanji smirked at him, then touched his jaw once the movement troubled him.
Both of them were toeing the line and both of them were aware of it.
Once he recognized this, Sanji's face seemed to grow heavy. "I appreciate the help, shit head, but let's not pretend we're friends in any way. This type of thing isn't going to get you any type of special treatment from me."
Law rolled his eyes, sighing noisily. "Enough with the restraint. I hate to point out the obvious but every time you put up a show, it's painfully obvious you struggle with the bullshit."
Sanji's lips tightened briefly. He exhaled slowly, wincing a bit with the action. "Nothing about this…is in any way favorable to either of us. Even if there are…attachments…what makes you think we can be compatible? I will always have a hate for men, and I will be your every reason why they can't be trusted."
"You seem to think that you've more experienced than me. I tolerate you because we understand each other."
Sanji looked at him directly, his expression unmoving. "And you think that's a good thing? What did you expect to happen? That we both develop feelings and run off happily into the sunset, solving each other's problems? How stupid is that?"
"I didn't think anything like that – "
"Then what are you saying?"
"I don't think there's anything wrong with getting along. I don't think there's anything wrong with both of us understanding where the other comes from."
"So, what, you think it's okay to start thinking Hmm, this is some romantic bullshit? I appreciate what you've done at my request, but I – can't fall for another man. I keep telling you this - !"
"You keep trying to convince yourself that you're this edgy bitch that needs absolutely no one, but you keep coming to me each and every fucking time – "
"Because I know how to use you, and I will keep using you because you can't get it through your fucking head that I'm playing you just like I would with any other piece of shit dick that thinks he can convince me otherwise. How desperate are you to allow yourself be treated this way, you dumb fuck?"
"It's not that I'm desperate for anything. I was having a good time with anonymity before you came along. I tolerate you because being around you makes me feel better – you're toxic, you're selfish, and you're everything I'm not. Being around you is an ego boost."
"Touché," Sanji murmured, a slight smile on his lips. The action was clearly handled to hide the absence of his tooth. "Every time you put me back into my place, I feel eviscerated in a way that questions my resolve."
"Maybe it's not your resolve that you should be questioning. You lost your battle a long time ago and you think punishing me makes up for it."
Sanji looked over at his television, which was muted but showing a daytime talk show with women that gestured noisily with long nails and glittering jewelry. Law grabbed his jaw to force his attention back to him. Once Sanji looked at him, his expression sullen with the contact and the force, Law's fingers tightened briefly.
"I will not be punished for being someone else's mistake," Law told him before pushing away from him. He left the room, slamming the door behind him.
Sanji watched the door with a heavy expression, feeling miserable about those words. I'm so sorry, he thought wretchedly. I'm so so sorry…
When Fall Ball started, Lamie was excited for the change of pace. Law was reluctant to get immersed into the activity because he felt so flighty – after that confrontation with Sanji, he didn't want to show up and be disappointed that Sanji wasn't there, but he also didn't want to show up to see that Sanji was there. Law didn't want to see Sanji ignoring him while pretending that absolutely nothing had happened.
To both his disappointment and relief, the man was there when the siblings met with Penguin and Shachi at the entrance way. Lamie showed her excitement for the sporting event with smiles and her head lifted, Shachi cheerily offering to play catch with her. Law noticed that Sanji walked differently – probably still recovering – but he wore an expression that didn't show a thing and spoke with a faint accent from his 'time away'. He dazzled Lamie with a greeting and a gift he'd bought for her 'from overseas' while Law ignored him and headed straight for the dugout.
Just seeing Sanji ignoring him, pretending that there was nothing between them made Law feel hot and rotten inside.
I am no one's mistake, he thought fiercely.
It hadn't occurred to Law that Smoker would be there to speak with him again, and once it did, it was too late for him to notice the man and make necessary action to avoid any interaction between them while he was feeling this raw. The man approached him from the entrance of the dugout once he saw that it was clear to do so.
"How you doing, kid?" Smoker asked Law with an uncertain look in Lamie's direction. "Is that your little sister?"
"Fuck out of here. I'm in no mood for your shit," Law snapped at him aggressively, tying his cleats.
Smoker looked taken back, assessing Law's mood. "Well. Nothing's changed."
Law drew a bat out of his bag and swung it at him – Smoker instantly pushed away just to avoid behind hit. He ended up walking away with an incredulous expression as Law warmed up with aggressive swings of his bat. Zoro hopped out of the way just to avoid being struck.
"Hope that means you're on fire this season," he said companionably, crooking an eyebrow.
"Everyone needs to stay out of my fucking way," Law warned, tossing his bat aside, hearing it clang noisily against the fence as he charged to the food stand for something to eat. Zoro looked after him with some confusion before he caught the sight of Penguin shaking his head ever so slightly at him – signaling that this couldn't be helped.
Sanji had known this would be tough – isolated from the others while recovering from his brothers' attack had left him feeling shaken and vulnerable. He had too much time to think. His own untidy feelings stemming from his past abuse had resurfaced within that isolation to craft and shape him into a person that had begun to feel like he wasn't worth the continued effort. How many more times would he endure this type of 'talk' from his brothers just to continue living off the money they flung at him to keep silent? How many more people would he continue to deceive while he plotted revenge?
How many people would he continue to hurt because he couldn't accept himself?
He couldn't convince himself that there was an appropriate end to things. As he soaked up the merriment of his friends, feeling like he'd finally breathed in fresh air, he couldn't help but notice Law and his behavior. The man was ignoring him – as he always did – but there was so much anger swirling around him that it was impossible to ignore. Lamie looked like a damn war survivor – clearly on pins and needles but doing her best to stay in his appeasement zone. And that only told Sanji this effect was all his fault.
He thought about what his brothers did, and thought about his future with their continued involvement. If only he could get that lucky break, to finally overcome them individually to hold his own against them without anyone's involvement…
But he needed a better plan to do that. For years they'd overwhelmed him and forced him to think he was helpless, so he'd used different methods just to survive. Those ugly dirty things he did just to survive made this thing he had with Law happen. So what could he do to resolve this and free that man from his mistakes?
The game began slowly, and within the third inning, he looked over at Lamie as she sat on the bleachers nearby, dark eyes hopeful and gleaming with adoration for her brother as he went to bat. The fool stomped to the plate like he was going to take out both catcher and umpire, both of them wincing in reaction. The pitcher looked nervous as well, deliberately throwing balls to prevent himself from being hit. When the umpire sent Law out to walk, the older man threw his bat aside and stomped to first base. The team heckled him good naturedly for having such an attitude in intimidating the pitcher, which made the other team naturally want to try harder to beat them.
Sanji looked down at his hands, feeling his shoulders tighten. The guilt he felt in drawing someone else into his problems began to feel like needles in his blood. He stood up from his seat near the dugout and ventured over to Lamie with a smile. He used a smile that was crooked, doing what it took to hide that missing tooth. He had yet to see a dentist for it, not wanting questions about it that would lead to concern.
Lamie looked back at him with a shy smile, hunching a little. "Thank you for the gift."
"I'm glad you like it!"
"The others were very upset you didn't bring anything for them…"
Sanji scoffed at the thought that his male friends were upset. "I don't care what they think! They don't need my love and attention like you ladies do…"
Lamie was tickled by his obvious display of ridicule towards his male friends; most of whom obviously cherished him for their own reasons. Luffy hung on him with praises and adoration; Ussop whined and bemoaned the lack of Sanji's attention; Franky challenged him on fashion sense; Zoro cut him down when he didn't get the respect he thought he deserved – all of them demanding and as cutting as Sanji was towards them. The affection was painfully obvious.
Sanji reluctantly ignored her observation. "How are things going with you and your brother? I hate to say it, but he does not look like he's in any good mood…"
Lamie sighed shortly, brushing her hair from her face. She'd had it layered around her shoulders, and she fiddled with it self-consciously. There was a subtle change to her since the last time he'd seen her – she was healthier, her nails had polish to them and earrings winked from her delicate earlobes. Her head was held a little higher, but she still seemed to hunch in on herself. She'd also began to play with makeup – the application slightly glaring in the late summer evening. The fact that she was trying appealed to Sanji.
"Well, I think he's a little stressed," she said slowly, unsure if she should be expressing these things to someone outside of their very small circle. "Work…um, maybe just the weather. Where we come from it's a little cooler than this…"
Sanji heard her hesitation and read her expression. He managed a smile. "Don't worry about your brother," he assured her. "The things he has in his head will straighten out soon."
Lamie looked at him with a tentative expression. She then nodded slowly to indicate that she hoped for a better outcome.
"Have you talked about this to him?" he asked her, and the question felt too deeply personal. It would be normal to simply ask – but with the way the planks fell between them, Lamie thought that it was too intrusive to ask these things. "Maybe he needs to hear it from you."
"I feel like there are only a few things I can say without being intrusive," she said.
"You're his sister," Sanji reminded her. "You're allowed to do that."
"Yes, but…we're not…"
"Sometimes us men need to hear the words directly," Sanji assured her with a crook of his brow. "Because we tend to think we already know it all, and yet when we hear something from somebody dear to us, it tends to open our eyes. Maybe he needs to hear what you have to say to him in order to feel that it's okay for him to speak."
Lamie considered this words, leaning over her thighs to rub her shins. She glanced at her brother thoughtfully.
"I know what he's about. It's difficult to come away from that," Sanji said slowly. "The strive to be better than that is often harder than it looks. He isn't where he comes from – but he doesn't believe in that himself. So you need to tell him."
Lamie lowered her eyes, her lips tugging slightly into a frown. She fiddled with her fingers, tugging on them anxiously. "But he's none of that. He's done so much for me, for us that allows no reason to think he's a product of it."
Sanji had to smile at that. "I think it would be easiest if he were to hear that from you. I don't think you should continue to worry over him, Lamie. Seeing you do that is…painful for him. He wants to fix it but he doesn't know how. Be patient. Things will get better, soon."
"…how?"
"Both of you are meant for happiness."
With that he patted her hands, then left the bleachers. He walked away without saying anything else to anybody, all of them too involved in cheering for Nami as she was up to bat. Lamie looked after Sanji with confusion then to her brother, as if looking for the answer in him. She noticed that he was watching Sanji leave as well, an unidentifiable expression on his face. It suddenly occurred to her that their deliberate ignoring of each other felt forced. She blinked with a transfixed expression, trying to connect the ends that suddenly became visible.
After the game, she waited for Law to gather his things. Luffy was bemoaning Sanji's sudden absence while Zoro complained noisily over his complaints. Everyone was in good spirits and though Lamie understood why, she suddenly felt filled with questions that only built a blockage of weight at her throat. Law said nothing to the others but waited for her to catch up on the way to the parking lot. Lamie kept easy stride with his bigger steps – the advantage of being tall – and glanced at Law from the corner of her eye.
At the car, he threw his pack into the trunk and shut it before looking at her. "What did he say to you?" he finally asked as Lamie waited for him to unlock the doors.
Puzzled, she asked, "Who?"
For a moment Law seemed reluctant to repeat himself. He scanned the parking lot and came to a conclusion of his own. "That man," he said instead.
Since it seemed like he was hesitant about the subject, Lamie judged her options. It seemed like playing his game would give her some wins in return. "Penguin? Shachi? You'll have to be specific. Many men had spoken to me tonight."
Law gave her a dirty look before unlocking the doors. A different sort of excitement swept through her as she realized that there was something left unsaid – touched with tentative fingers. There was something with Sanji that Law wasn't saying – but now that Lamie was aware of it, she felt like the wind was knocked out of her.
As she settled in her seat, she struggled to remember every point of contact those two had. But everything was kept minimally – save for that one day in Nami's apartment – and it was difficult to pick out a certain moment that happened that could be labeled as suspicious. But she remembered how off Law had been the night he'd returned with blood on his clothes. Sanji suddenly gone for the summer without anyone to see him off.
She kept her attention to the window, thinking feverishly. Her older brother was agitated – cursing at other drivers, laying on his horn, breaking and gassing suddenly.
Before they could come up to the apartment complex, she drew in a breath to say, "Sanji seemed a little out of sorts, tonight."
"I don't care about that prissy guy."
Lamie thinned her lips before saying slowly, "He always seems to speak so positively of you when he thinks you're not around to hear it. It feels like he knows where we come from."
She heard the grit of his teeth and couldn't help but wince. But she dared to look over at him, eyes searching for understanding. "Do you two talk when we're not around?"
"NO."
Puzzled but also a little intrigued by the lie, Lamie once again looked out her window. She wasn't sure how to address something that wasn't supposed to be known. She felt dazed.
She said, "He said that things will get better, soon."
"What did he mean by that?"
"I don't know. I think that…he thinks you worry too much about me." Lamie examined her hands, shaking on her lap. "And that I should stop worrying about you. It seems that he thinks things will be fixed, soon. And that we're meant to be happy."
"What exactly did he say?"
"That's what he said."
"What did he mean about things being fixed, Lamie?"
"I don't know. But he spoke with a sort of knowledge about you, about us, and I just think that you're not telling me the truth about anything if he knows that much about us."
Law looked at her, but said nothing. His face tightened with a scowl as his driving became a little more aggressive.
Lamie looked at him cautiously, then ahead of them. "Was that his blood on your clothes?"
The tension in the car was palpable and she knew she had her answer.
"Yes, but not in the way that you think," she heard Law mutter. She blinked rapidly, wiping her eyes as tentative relief began to fill her. "He has family problems, too."
She exhaled shakily. She'd suspected the very worst because she'd seen it for herself many times before; she knew Law was capable of violence towards others, but for this to happen on her behalf…the guilt had been eating at her for weeks. She couldn't ask because she knew that would hurt him for her to suspect he was like them; but she'd worked on accepting it because even if they weren't them, there was still lingering aspects of them in both siblings.
"Is that why he was gone?"
"What exactly did he say to you, Lamie?" Law then asked her directly.
She studied his tone and expression with rising curiosity. "Why are you…?"
"This is important!"
"It's important to whom, Law? To you? To his friends? Why are you taking this so personal when neither of you speak to each other?" Lamie asked, growing adventurous once she realized she had to. "And why are you hiding something about him from me?"
Law said nothing to her, but he pulled up to the front of their complex, double parking. "Go home," he then ordered. "I need to go somewhere."
Lamie didn't move. "Where, Law?"
"It doesn't matter to you!"
"It does matter! This thing matters because it's obviously eating at you! Whatever happened – it's okay," Lamie stressed. "It's okay, there's nothing wrong with whatever is happening here - !"
"It's not up to me!"
"Is it up to him? Is that it? What is it about him that causes you so much stress? I know you're angry at the world, but you've been so angry ever since he left!" Lamie cried, hitting the dash with one palm. "You can be angry, but at least understand that it doesn't have to be a secret!"
He waited for her to get out, glowering out the window. Some people gave them puzzled looks as they passed around him, one driver giving them an angry frown as they were forced to find another parking spot. She clung to her safety belt with both hands, as if indicating he'd have to force her out.
He glanced at her with a glare, agitation rising. Seeing her stubborn will to get her way, he considered the efforts it would take to remove her from his car so he could go. Saw the resulting damage caused by the effort. With much reluctance, he touched the dash for a phone number, glancing at Lamie with an indication to keep quiet. She understood what was happening, lips thinning as she tightened her mouth with resolve.
"What do you want, fucktard?" Sanji answered, voice filling the car.
"What the fuck were you talking about with my sister?" Law returned, and their familiarity with each other spoke volumes to Lamie. She wore a puzzled expression as her fingers tightened on the seat belt.
"Did you guys win?" Sanji asked instead.
"I'm not playing these stupid games with you, shit head. What did you say to her?"
"I don't know why you cause other people worry about you, because you obviously don't give a flying fuck what other people think. I told you to open your fucking eyes and see what you're doing. What the fuck are you putting her through? Acting like a fucking baby just because you're angry about something…you piss me the fuck off with your attitude, you shitty piece of toilet trash! If you have something you feel shitty about, then bring it back to me, because obviously I caused this shit in the first fucking place, you fucking neckbeard!"
"Enough with the pet names," Law grumbled as Lamie's face changed color.
"Whatever shit you're going through right now is affecting her. And it has nothing to do with her! Stop taking your fucking attitude out on others unnecessarily!"
"It's pretty much your fucking fault, you shitty ignoramus."
"My fault? To suggest that it's my fault means you care a little too much."
"I don't just as much as you don't," Law stressed, eyes closing with a sort of guilty expression as Lamie covered her mouth with one hand to keep from saying anything. But she looked at her older brother like she'd just discovered a secret.
Sanji's sigh over the speakers sounded heavy. It spoke volumes of its own. "I know, but…"
"What do you want me to say, shit head? Do you want me to say I give a fuck? Is that what this is about? Like I'd give you that when you can't even return the favor…"
Sanji was quiet for some time, the siblings listening to the sound of static on the other end. Lamie bit her thumbnail to stay silent while Law crossed his arms tightly, a new sort of glower to his face that suggested admittance of guilt.
"It doesn't matter," Sanji finally answered, his voice heavy, "what matters is that you stop taking your frustrations out on those closest to you. You stepped into some shit - wipe it off your shoe and go on with your life. I'm sorry I dropped into it to do this to you. I never thought this sort of thing would happen - "
Law focused on the tone of his voice, forehead furrowing slightly. "It sounds like you made up your mind about something."
There was the sound of a heavy exhale. "I did."
"What did you come to decide?"
There was once again a long silence, Law chewing at his thumbnail as he kept his attention diverted to the busy front office. Lamie's eyes shifted from him to the dash, as if she could see Sanji himself. She couldn't ever see these two having this type of conversation between them in public because they ignored each other so delicately. But hearing them speak so freely to each other with the weight of knowledge between them that spoke volumes told her that this thing they had extended longer that she could imagine. All she could see was her brother's change of expression upon seeing his text that one night over dinner – what changed?
"I'm sorry if I made you feel like a mistake," Sanji then said. "The only mistake was…my own way of thinking. But I can't take anything back. I only regret that I'd fought it for so long – "
"Why are you talking like this? Like – "
"I just…had too much time to think. And I can't find any solutions to any of them. I just think that maybe you do have more experience than me because I don't have enough to keep this up – "
"If that's how it is, then there's about an hour between the time you left the ballpark and thirty minutes between you and Strawhat. He can get there in half that time," Law warned, pulling up his phone to text while Lamie crammed a hand against her mouth to prevent any sound from leaking out. "You keep saying you don't want a man to save you, and I'm not your goddamn prince on a fucking horse. Strawhat can talk some stupid sense into you, because you're talking like you're going to do something fucking stupid."
Sanji chuckled, a dark and bitter noise. "I wouldn't give them that satisfaction, dumb ass. Calm down. That last conversation we had before you stormed off like a tempestuous princess made me think a little. What I told your sister was that sometimes we thick headed idiots needed to hear direct things that are…important to us. So, putting that into thought, I figured you needed to hear what I'd just said directly from me."
"Is this a weird type of confession?" Law asked tentatively, looking puzzled as he kept the message board from Luffy up, but stopped typing a warning. "Because I don't need a confession from you. All your temper tantrums and continuous assaults were enough."
"You're such a fucking pig, I don't know why I followed you to your room that night."
Law suddenly gave Lamie an awkward look, as if remembering she were still sitting there. She wore an uncomfortable expression of her own, biting her lips as her cheeks reddened. Fiddling with his goatee, Law watched as an older couple walked their dog out into the grassy knoll nearby, looking at his car with suspicious looks. Once they realized he was looking at them, they quickly averted their attention.
"For once, you actually have me stumped," he mumbled.
"This isn't the first time your actual head was stumped by my actions," Sanji pointed out, "so get off your high horse. That concussion rattled my brain and while it recovered, I ended up with screwed up brain cells."
"So, what are their names so I can call and thank them?"
"Fuck you, there is nothing 'thankful' about this. Just like that first night, you fucking like it and I'm sick and tired of you doing this to me." Sanji then added, "Stop ignoring me in public."
Law snorted.
When Sanji hung up, the silence in the car was intensely awkward. Lamie stared out her window with an expression that looked as if she were struck. Law found his face filling with an uncomfortably warm sensation, rattled so completely that his hands fiddled with the dash unnecessarily before he tossed his phone into the middle console. He felt irritated that this man had done this to him, and for one of his secrets to be revealed so candidly in front of Lamie before he was ready.
She looked at him cautiously, her lips trembling with uncertain movement. He scowled, his blush intensifying.
"I've never heard of people liking each other so aggressively, before," she murmured.
"Enough of your shit."
Lamie sucked her lips between her teeth, but there was no hiding her mirth. Yet she exhaled with heavy relief before laughing. "You are so awkward! I feel embarrassed for you because you say one thing and yet do another!"
"I do not!"
"You told him he didn't need a man to save him, yet you were ready to text Luffy to go and see him immediately – if that isn't an indication of a prince on a horse, then I don't know – "
"Shut up, Lamie, goddamn it! It only mattered the length of time to actually get to his location, and he's closer!"
"You panicked because you thought he was doing to do something - !"
"Anyone would hearing that type of talk!"
Lamie laughed hysterically because her older brother's show of bluster only sent relief flooding through her like a hot spike. All the pent up feelings she'd had inside because of his behavior and actions felt like a released dam – nearly everything she'd thought and felt was wrong because he had only been hiding a secret from all of them with an obvious person. Both of them could curse each other out as much as they did, but their actions and underlying context was telling. Her laughter turned to awkward sobbing.
"I don't know whether to be happy or horrified!" she sobbed, wiping her eyes. "I had thought the very worst and it wasn't even anything that I had thought. It was just two fucking idiots that didn't know how to talk to each other that - !"
"Goddamn it, knock it off," Law snapped at her as people looked at them with concern. "People think I've done something horrible to you."
Lamie managed to laugh again, using her shirt collar to wipe at her makeup. "Goddamn you, brother! You are something else!"
Because people were looking at her with concern, Law backed out of the parking spot and headed for their place. His face and ears were brilliant red, mind swirling with what happened.
"Anyone could tell he had a problem," she sniffled, rummaging through the glovebox for napkins, "so knowing exactly why makes all the sense in the world. To know that it applies to you in this way…well…that makes even more sense because you're just as obvious."
"I'm going to lock you out of my apartment."
"I have an extra key, so that won't even work." Blowing her nose, Lamie then laughed again. "I'm so relieved that this is all it was! All this weight feels like it's completely gone!"
"Why were you even worrying about it in the first place?" Law mumbled with exasperation.
"Because you were so angry! And I didn't know why!" She wiped her nostrils, crumbling the napkin into a ball that she clenched within one hand. "But now it does, so knowing that it was a little thing like…like two boys having a crush on each other - ! It's so ridiculous I want to cry - !"
"Well stop because this is fucking embarrassing! People are looking at you like I did something to you!"
Lamie laughed merrily. But she shook her head wearily. "Please, for both your sakes and ours, just fix it like adults and stop doing this shit to each other just because you like each other."
Law grunted in response, turning the car off. He didn't know what to say to her; this entire switch around had him rattled and voiceless.
What was he supposed to expect after this?
Naghi-Tan: There's always something happening in these damn stories of mine XD But it's definitely not the end of things. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's to you! Let's look forward to more adventures!
HS: Thank you! :D It's definitely a read – but as much as this chapter and the last was, I don't see it wrapping up any time soon. These two are definitely working on some things individually and together; none of which is neat. This rollercoaster still has a few twists and turns!
SnowFlake97: Lamie is…complicated. She's been pulled out of a mess just to be re-inserted into a new one. As quiet as she is, there's still a small storm brewing inside of her. D: These two are toxic but I love them – and I don't like to make it easy for them because they're so fucking stubborn lol Thanks for reading!
