"A New Light" – A FanFiction by: Courtney

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or story of RENT—but I wish I did! But they belong to the late genius, Jonathan Larson. This fic was made for entertainment purposes only!!

A/N: Okay guys...I am sooo sorry. I went to Disneyland this week and then got a major case of writer's block! Hate when that happens! LOL. I hope you like this chapter--hopefully I will be able to update frequently like I was before. Enjoy!

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Mark was sitting up with his legs crossed under him in the small bed that sat against the wall of his cold room. His mind wandered aimlessly around all thoughts concerning Roger and his feelings. Damn it. Why is this so hard? I mean, seriously…why can't he just admit his feelings? It's stupid—we're grown men. Mark felt a chill vibrate down his scrawny spine as he continued, developing negative thoughts. Maybe Roger doesn't love me. Maybe he meant what he said when he told me that we just found comfort in each other. If that's the case—why do I still love him? That's a dumb question, Mark—the better question is what's not to love about him? He let out a soft chuckle to himself. But is Collins right? Have I really been in love with Roger since junior high? There's no way, I woulda felt it…well…I guess, maybe I did, a little.

Mark let a sigh escape his mouth as he pulled his dark navy blue sweatshirt around himself to keep as much of his body heat in. What's wrong with me? Roger's my best friend and a guy…but…a really wonderful guy. Mimi—why'd you leave him? He was so happy when he was with you…why'd you leave him…why'd you leave us?

Mark glanced out his small window, up toward the starry sky and spoke so softly that he could barley hear the words himself. Even though he was baptized Jewish, Mark normally didn't turn to God, at all. But he felt as though he needed someone who held his destiny. "Roger misses Mimi, God, I know he does. He misses April too. I don't know how to help him anymore. Please guide me; help me do the right thing. God, I just love him so much, I can't help it…but I don't know what to do anymore. And I know that might be wrong or looked down upon, but…Its only love, God, its only love."

He sighed again, continuing to look out his window. A single tear slowly rolled down his warm, pink cheek as he came to the realization that he would always be alone in life. Even if he and Roger did eventually get together, which was unlikely, Roger had HIV. Even with his medication, he probably wouldn't be around too much longer.

"Roger," Mark tearfully whispered into the night air as he thought of loosing his best friend sooner than he should.

"Yeah?" Came a raspy, quiet response from the door.

Mark quickly turned his head at the surprising sound of his roommate. Wiping away the tears from his eyes, he stammered, "Rog, you…you're here…what are you doing up?"

Roger smiled a half smile at hearing his friend's stunned tone. "Well, to be honest, I don't really know." He sighed, thinking about what Collins had told him earlier on, "Mark loves ya man, I know ya know he does. He's just too shy ta say somethin; just like you are." He looked up, facing toward Mark's tearstained face. "You been crying?"

Mark cleared his voice, "No," he said as plainly as he could.

"Mark, you're not a very good liar," Roger chuckled, beginning to enter the small bedroom. "Besides, your face is all red and your eyes are all puffy."

Mark sighed in defeat, "Fine; yes, I've been crying…ya happy?"

"No," Roger started, "why would I be happy that you were crying?"

He looked up, meeting Roger's sympathetic, hazel green eyes as the larger man inched closer to his bed.

Sitting on the edge of his roommate's bed, Roger gazed deeply into the hypnotizing, crystal blue eyes across from him. "What's the matter Mark? You can tell me."

"You wouldn't understand," Mark sniffed, looking away sadly.

"You've always helped me. Maybe I can finally help you," Roger tried again, "come, on, try me; I won't bite."

Mark laughed out loud, cracking a small smile. Actually, you could if you wanted to, he thought amusingly to himself.

Roger, confused by Mark's sudden change in demeanor asked, "Now, what's so funny?" He eyed the smaller man, sizing him up and down, staring curiously at him.

"Oh, nothing," Mark said still smiling ever so slightly.

"Okay then." Roger watched his friend sitting, shaking from the cold night air while Collins' advice continued to echo through his head. Does Mark really love me? He can't…can he? Roger crawled up the short bed, sitting next to Mark. "Here," he said kindly, putting his arm around the shivering boy.

"Thanks," Mark said between his clattering teeth. Taking in Roger's rustic scent, Mark leaned into the ex-rocker's warm body.

Roger felt the same odd, tingly sensation as he had felt early that night as Mark buried his head into his chest, trying to keep warm. Snuggling into his body, Roger could feel Mark's trembling breath and was finally able to see how Mark could maybe love him. Wrapping his other arm around the smaller man, Roger held him tight.

Mark thought about his conversation with Collins. Collins knew that I loved him, does Roger know too? "Rog?" Mark asked in an uneasy manner.

"Hmm?" Roger breathed.

"What are you thinking about?"

Roger swallowed hard, "Can we start with a less difficult question?"

Mark felt the vibrations in Roger's chest as he spoke the witty response.

Roger sighed heavily as he thought about how to answer Mark, "I guess I'm thinking about you…" he croaked softly, "…and me," he added after a moment of silence. "Why? What are you thinking about?"

Mark squeezed his eyes shut as the larger man answered. Smiling silently, he pulled away from Roger's strong arms and gazed up into his eyes. He parted his lips, revealing a larger, sweeter smile.

Roger smiled back in empathy; he knew that Mark was thinking along the same lines as he was.

"I'm thinking," he began, sounding a little childish, "I might…wanna…maybe…" Mark trailed off, deeply considering Roger's feelings.

"Its okay," Roger said, seeming to piece Mark's puzzle together.

"What?" Mark asked in slight confusion. Does he really know what I'm thinking? Does he know that I want to kiss him?

"Mark," Roger began, "its okay…" he repeated, "its weird, but…its okay."

"Really?" Mark asked in hopes that Roger really understood his intentions. "But I thought…you said that we were just friends who—."

"Found comfort in each other," Roger finished, smiling at Mark.

"Well…yeah," Mark said with a slight frown.

Roger sighed, "I was upset. I didn't know what to make of these feelings, but I know now. I know what I am feeling for you is real. I know that what we share is something special."

"But what about all that stuff you said about—?"

"Forget about what I said, Mark. I love you, I always have. I was just too busy to notice or to care or, I dunno. All I know is that I do, I love you…"

Mark's smile immediately returned as more tears stung his eyes, "Really?" He asked again in disbelief.

Roger nodded silently gazing at the man in front of him.

"I love you too, Rog." Childishly laughing, he continued, "Oh god, I love you so much." Pressing his lips firmly into his roommate, Mark felt his heart quicken with desire.

Roger parted his mouth, devouring Mark's intense, wonderful kiss. Roger felt as high as a kite as his heart began pounding with his rising excitement. No heroine high had ever felt as good as this moment.

"I'll be right back," Roger breathed as he stopped the passionate kiss, pushing the filmmaker off of him.

Mark asked out of breath, "Why? Where are you going?"

Roger got up off the bed, shaking from the intense rush. "Don't worry," he sighed heavily, "I'll be back in just a sec—" he kissed him quickly, "Hold those lips." With that he left the small, poorly lit room.

Mark watched disappointedly after his lover, heart still pounding loudly all the while. He could feel himself getting warm now so he took off his sweatshirt and tossed it to the floor. He turned around on the bed and propped himself up against the wall, stretching his legs out in front of him.

Roger reentered the tiny room, bearing a wide, irresistible smile. He walked quickly over to Mark's bed, tossing the small package on the small, sad excuse for a night stand. "Collins is out cold," he said smiling, "he's snoring and everything."

"Good," Mark said joining Roger in his smile, "he's the soundest sleeper I know."

"Yup," Roger sneered in agreement. "Now, where were we?"

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A/N: Chapter 10 should be up hopefully before the end of the weekend:D But like always, I will not post until I get at least four reviews--so please review if you wanna see this story continued. Thanks!