I Can't Stay Away

I'm conflicted, I inhale, now I'm addicted.

I was not exactly on my game the next day in court, as I had a terrible headache and was feeling pretty sick. It really was a stupid to get drunk last night, I really don't know what I was thinking. No wait, I did know, and I hadn't been thinking at all. At least Scott had been asleep when I got home, and still asleep when I left in the morning. I'd had to leave extra early, to get a taxi to Duncan's to pick up my car.

Duncan hadn't invited me over again and I thought it was probably a good thing. I let things get too far last night and with the way things were going it wouldn't be too long before I could no longer say I was faithful to Scott. Even now I knew it was only a technicality. Duncan and I hadn't kissed or had sex, so that meant I hadn't cheated on Scott. But deep down I knew what I was doing was almost as bad, especially since I hadn't even told Scott I'd seen Duncan.

I went straight home after court was dismissed and Scott seemed pleased to see me, obviously over the fact that I hadn't told my parents about the engagement when I said I would. He clearly wasn't phased about not seeing me last night either. I was still annoyed at him though, but I did my best to pretend I was fine. I didn't have to try very hard, Scott was easily fooled.

It was around 8:30pm when we'd finished dinner and were watching TV on the couch that I got a message from Duncan.

Sorry about last night. I know I stepped over the line.

I was amazed that this new Duncan knew how to apologise. For some things at least.

It's fine. You weren't the only one.

A couple of seconds later I got a reply.

If it's fine, then why aren't you here?

I was surprised at his response. I had assumed he didn't want me there. Did he actually miss me?

"Everything alright, angel?" Scott asked me.

"Yeah, babe, fine," I answered absentmindedly.

You didn't invite me, I sent to Duncan

You don't need an invitation

I think it's best if we take some time to cool off anyway

You're right

I shouldn't have been disappointed with that answer, but I was. But it was for the best. Things couldn't keep progressing the way they had been. I decided not to reply, there wasn't much else to say. A minute later my phone started ringing. Seeing that it was Duncan, I took it into the bedroom, mumbling something to Scott about a client at work.

"What is it?" I snapped, trying to sound like I was annoyed he'd called, though I wasn't at all.

"Come out for dinner with me tomorrow night?" Duncan proposed.

"Duncan, we literally just agreed we should take some time to cool off!" I said exasperatedly, speaking softly so Scott wouldn't hear.

"I changed my mind," Duncan chuckled.

"Well I didn't!" I whispered forcefully. It was hard to sound assertive when trying to be quiet.

"Aw come on! We'll go to a restaurant, if we're in public then we won't be able to touch each other. It'll be fine!" Duncan assured me.

"And what if someone sees us?" I pointed out.

"We'll say it's the first time we've seen each other," Duncan replied. He seemed to have this all figured out.

"What about Ariel?" I reminded him of his daughter that he could obviously not leave home alone.

"Gwen will look after her," Duncan said as if it were obvious.

"The ever elusive Gwen," I muttered.

"Well?" Duncan asked.

"Fine. You can pick me up from work at seven thirty," I told him.

"Yes ma'am!" Duncan laughed. I rolled my eyes as I hung up the phone, but my insides churned with excitement. This is not a date, I reminded myself, you're engaged, remember? I walked back out to the living room to my fiancé.

"What are you so happy about?" he asked, noticing my smile.

"Nothing really," I replied, giving him a kiss to placate him.

"You want to go to bed?" Scott said, meaning he wanted to have sex. Despite my pent up sexual emotions, I knew that Scott could not fix that for me, and honestly the thought of him grunting over me right now was such a turn off.

"No, I'm tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep," I said. Scott nodded in disappointment as I headed off to bed. Though I was in bed so early, I didn't sleep for ages, I was thinking too much about my date with Duncan the next night.

"What's with all the dresses?" Scott asked sleepily, waking up as I dumped a pile of dresses on the bed.

"I'm going out after work tonight, I'm trying to decide what to wear," I replied.

"Don't you normally just wear your work clothes?" Scott questioned.

"Yes, but… we're going somewhere fancy tonight. Colin says we should dress up," I lied.

"Colin?" Scott asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, you know Colin. Who I work with."

"Just you and Colin?" Scott continued, a little worriedly. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Relax, Scott, I'm not cheating on you with Colin. Everyone's going, even the boss," I said soothingly. Scott nodded, seemingly mollified by my words, and rolled over and went back to sleep. Lying to Scott was becoming easier and easier and I hardly even felt bad about it anymore.

I chose a dress, picked up some shoes to go with it and headed to work.

When court was dismissed for the day, the trial done and dusted, (my client won of course), I headed back to the office where I had told Duncan to pick me up. I obviously couldn't allow him to get me from home, since Scott would be there. I guess I could have just driven myself to the restaurant, but the thought had even really occurred to me.

I put the dress on and did my hair and make-up. The dress was black satin and though it wasn't super tight, it was still kind of figure hugging and revealing, and I wondered if I was trying too hard, and maybe I looked too sexy for a man who I wasn't supposed to be really even seeing, let alone trying to impress. But then I decided I was allowed to look sexy. It wasn't like once a woman was engaged she was forbidden to dress up, and if Scott thought that well then he probably wasn't the man for me anyway. I brushed away thoughts that told me Scott wasn't the man for me. I mean if he wasn't, wouldn't I have broken up with him by now? I wasn't like I needed a man. But I knew I was lying to myself. I was with Scott because I didn't want to break his heart. I knew I would have to make a decision in the near future, I couldn't keep going on like this for much longer. I either had to break up with Scott or commit to him. And committing to him didn't necessarily mean not seeing Duncan anymore, but it meant I would have to tell Scott I was friends with him, and I'd have to make sure we never did anything that could be considered more than friends.

Duncan showed up at seven thirty on the dot. He stopped dead when he saw me and just stared for a moment.

"Uh, hello?" I called him back to reality.

"Sorry, you just look really… nice," he squeaked lamely. I raised my eyebrows at him and he cleared his throat. "Come on, the taxi's waiting outside."

"Taxi? You aren't driving?" I said disapprovingly.

"I wasn't sure we could trust ourselves to be alone in a car together," he explained, a little sheepishly. "Looking at you now, I know I was right."

Duncan looked pretty good himself actually. Oh who am I kidding, he looked incredibly hot. Guys always look ten times better when they dress up and Duncan was no exception. He smirked at me when he caught me checking him out.

"Come on, princess," he said, opening the door of the taxi for me then going around to sit in the front with the driver. Duncan gave the driver the address and he took us to a small, out of the way restaurant.

"I know you don't want to risk being seen," Duncan explained once we were out of the taxi.

"Does Harold own this place too?" I asked sarcastically.

"Harold? No. This is DJ's place," Duncan grinned. I stared at him open mouthed.

"But what if he tells Gwen or Scott…" I started. Duncan gave a reassuring smile as he placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me into the restaurant.

"Relax! He won't be here. He owns a heap of restaurants. He cooks in couple of them occasionally, but not this one," Duncan assured me as we went inside.

"Didn't DJ's food kill some people once?" I remembered worriedly as a waiter lead us to our table, Duncan's hand still unnecessarily on my back.

"That was like eight years ago," Duncan pointed out, pulling out my chair for me and sitting down across from me.

"So everyone's just forgotten?" I said exasperatedly.

"Yep! Here, have a menu," Duncan passed me that the waiter had just handed to him.

Once I stopped worrying about DJ and his cooking, I was actually able to admire how pretty the restaurant was. Nothing really matched, the chairs were all different, as were the tables, and there were random plants and paintings decorating the place that didn't seem to have any relevance or order. It was charming though, in an offbeat kind of way. There was a small stage in one corner where a band was playing softly. There were a few other people there, but it wasn't crowded.

"This place is nice," I said to Duncan.

"You like it?" Duncan waited for approval.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Was DJ one of the people you had to cross off your list?"

"Yeah. I mean I never really did anything bad or mean to him, but we were teammates once and I never really took the chance to get to know him," Duncan shrugged. "What about you, still keep in touch with anyone from Total Drama?"

"No…" I shook my head. "Apart from Scott that is."

"Right, Scott," Duncan nodded with a bit of a scowl. "Should we order?"

"Sure," I answered, happy for Duncan to keep the conversation away from Scott. True, I needed to remember I was engaged, but that didn't mean I had to spoil the night by talking about it. We ordered our meal and continued to talk, steadfastly ignoring the subjects of Scott and Gwen. Halfway through the meal my phone rang and I picked it up to check who was calling.

"It's Scott," I said, glancing at Duncan.

"Just turn it off," Duncan said. I hesitated a moment before doing as he requested.

"You wanna go for a walk?" Duncan asked after we'd finished our meals.

"Okay," I agreed. Duncan paid, though I protested half heartedly and we made our way out into the cool night air.

"Do you wanna go somewhere where people won't see us, or do you want to stay around people so we don't feel tempted to… act inappropriately?" Duncan asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I think I can control myself," I snorted, meaning it. Honestly, Duncan was so full of himself. Duncan grinned and ducked down a seemingly random alley without checking to see if I was following. I stopped and stared after him for a moment, wondering if he expected me to go after him, or whether he was just being an idiot. He got to a wire fence blocking his way and started climbing it, so I groaned and went after him.

"What are you doing?" I huffed as he swung his leg over the top of the fence and dropped down to the other side.

"You have to climb over," Duncan instructed.

"No way!" I refused, gesturing to my heels and dress.

"Aw come on!" Duncan pleaded. "You're such a spoil sport!" I glared at him but took off my heels, throwing them over the fence, slightly hoping they would hit Duncan in the head. They didn't however as he caught them and then looked at me expectantly. I sighed and started making my way up the fence.

"Don't look up my dress!" I called down to him as I neared the top. The fence wasn't that high, but it was high enough for him to get a good look.

"I've seen it all before babe!" he called back. I dropped down to the ground next to him and snatched my shoes back.

"And you'll never see it again," I vowed, slipping my shoes back on.

"Whatever you say, princess," Duncan smirked. Why was he always smirking? It really was starting to get on my nerves. Duncan grabbed my hand then and started leading me out the other end of the alley.

"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously, referring to the hand holding.

"I'm leading you," Duncan said innocently. I had serious doubts about that, but I liked his hand around mine too much to let go. We reached the end of the alley and crossed an empty street to a deserted park.

"How do you know where we're going?" I asked.

"I live near here," Duncan said pointing through the trees in what I assumed was the direction of his apartment, but I was kind of disorientated. Still hand in hand we strolled through the park in silence and I forgot about everything except being close to Duncan. I wondered if his heart was beating as fast as mine. We walked over to a bench and sat down still not talking, but not really feeling the need to. I didn't want to speak and kill the moment. Duncan turned to me and rested his head on my forehead. I closed my eyes and forced myself not to close the small distance between our lips.

"Courtney?" Duncan broke the silence, his voice a little hoarse.

"Mmm?" I responded.

"Can I ask you something?" Duncan continued, turning away.

"Yes…" I said hesitantly. This sounded serious. Duncan didn't say anything and I glanced at him, wondering nervously what he was going to ask. He wouldn't look at me though.

"Why are you with Scott?" he eventually asked, after a long pause. I didn't answer right away. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't think of a single reason in that moment.

"Because he loves me," I finally answered. Duncan finally looked at me.

"But why did you bother with him in the first place? Why did you get him back after Total Drama?" Duncan persisted. That was a good question, another one that had me a little stumped.

"I guess…" I started. "I guess I wanted to prove that I could," I admitted.

"What do you mean?" Duncan pressed.

"How could I possibly manage to lose two guys on national television and not have my pride take a horrible blow? I had to prove to myself and the world that there wasn't anything wrong with me, that it wasn't my fault and that I could keep a guy," I explained, feeling a little ashamed of the admission.

"I guess I really fucked you up, didn't I?" Duncan snorted.

"You didn't have any affect on me whatsoever, and you still don't," I spat, standing up. How dare he ask me for honesty and then laugh at me when I told him the truth?

"Wait, Courtney," Duncan grabbed my wrist before I could walk away. He pulled me back onto the bench and looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry… I just… ugh. I can't stand to think of you with him," he said in disgust. "It makes me so fucking angry at you, at him, at myself because I fucked it all up," Duncan ranted. I felt a twinge in my heart at how obviously torn up he was, and I wanted to do something to make him feel better.

"You shouldn't be with that dirt-eating farm boy. You should be with me," Duncan's voice cracked on that last word, and I couldn't stand it any longer. I crushed my lips to his and heard him moan beneath me as I pulled him closer. He snaked an arm around my waist as his other hand travelled up my thigh and under my dress.

"Duncan…" I whispered desperately into his mouth.

"We can go to my place, no one's home," he told me breathlessly. I nodded and he scooped me up and carried me all the way through his front door. Once he had kicked the door shut behind him he practically threw me against the wall and continued to devour me. He sucked at the pulse point on my wrist, sending electricity running through by body. He made his way up my arm to my neck, holding my arm against the wall once he got there. My other arm was thrown over his shoulder as he pressed up against me and pushed my dress up around my waist.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this," Duncan growled into my neck. He let go of my arm and pulled one of my legs around his waist as I dragged his lips back to mine. His hands were all over me and yet I felt like no amount of contact was enough. I ran my fingers through his hair and clutched onto his back, pulling him closer as one of his hands found it's way into my underwear, and I whimpered in anticipation. I dug my fingernails into his back as his fingers worked their magic on me, sending me into a state of pure bliss. It was lucky Duncan was holding me so tightly with his other arm because I doubted I could stand on my own.

All too soon Duncan stopped his motions and left me hanging and I gave a cry of indignation. He sniggered to himself as he kissed me again before pulling my dress over my head. I returned the favour, although a little more aggressively, ripping his shirt off, not bothering with the buttons. Duncan grabbed hold of me with both arms, lifting me up and I wrapped my legs around him and he started walking towards to bedroom. We didn't get that far though as he was so busy kissing me he wasn't watching where he was going and he tripped and fell, somehow managing to not harm either of us as we tumbled to the ground.

"Well, here's as good as anywhere," he laughed. I started giggling uncontrollably, but my laughter was cut short when Duncan literally ripped off my underwear.

"Hey!" I protested.

"That's to get you back for the shirt," he grinned. I was about to tell him off, but my anger disappeared when his tongue found its way between my legs and I let out an involuntary gasp. My fingers clenched in Duncan's hair as my head span from the pleasure his tongue was putting me through. He only stopped to plant soft kisses up my stomach and across my breasts before bringing his mouth to mine again.

"That's enough teasing," I decided, reaching for his belt and unbuckling it.

"Yes ma'am," Duncan agreed, helping me in my endeavour until his pants were finally off and he was as naked as me. He flipped my legs over his shoulders and I gripped the carpet beneath me as he thrust into me. My eyes rolled back into my head and I cried out as he sent me over the edge, waves of ecstasy rolling over me again and again until he finally reached his own climax and collapsed on the floor next to me, breathing heavily. His fingers found mine and he clutched my hand, as if he couldn't bear to not be touching me for even a second. I rolled into him and put my lips to his shoulder, watching him intently as his breathing slowly returned to normal. He turned his head to me and smiled at me, his blue eyes sparkling.

I love you, I thought hopelessly. Because I did. I knew it was pathetic and sad, but I couldn't help it. I didn't say it out loud though, not wanting to spoil the moment. We lay like that for a minute before Duncan jumped to his feet and pulled me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I shrieked in laughter as he carried me to his bedroom and threw me down on the bed.

"Ready for round two?" he grinned.


Okay! Sorry for taking so long with this chapter but hopefully y'all are satisfied, I'm actually quite happy with it haha!

If you like it please tell me because I'm insecure and need lots of encouragement lol if you don't like it, also tell me and i will try to improve next time.

Oh and I changed the rating to M, you may have noticed.