After eight days in the infirmary, Sam was still in considerable pain, but was starting to feel slightly better. At long last, she was finally able to remain awake for several hours at a time, which was a relief to her. She hated the feeling of helplessness though; she hadn't even been able to sit up properly for any length of time.

The next time Janet came in, Sam looked at her with pleading eyes. "Just a couple of hours in the chair, sweetie?" she begged. "I'm going stir-crazy here."

Janet smiled; she looked at the chart at the end of Sam's bed, then she took up her hand and checked her pulse. "Okay, but one hour only," she said. "And you've got to promise to let me know if it makes the pain any worse."

Sam scowled, but agreed. Janet carefully moved the IV and all the monitor wires to the side so that she could help Sam into the chair, which she positioned right by the bed. She helped Sam to sit up, making sure that her movements were slow and steady. She carefully swung her legs forward, and reached up behind her, pulling Sam's uninjured arm over her shoulders. "Ready?" she asked.

Sam nodded, so Janet helped to lever her to her feet. She helped to turn her to the side, and lowered her carefully into the chair. Sam tried, and failed, to hide a wince of pain, and she had paled considerably at the effort. "Thanks, Jan," she said, her voice slightly breathless.

Janet smiled. Sam had always been stubborn, had always wanted her recovery from any injury to be faster than was humanly possible. And of course she usually did manage to defy medical opinion by getting up on her feet much quicker than anyone could have anticipated. But she'd been pretty sensible so far, and Janet was surprised it had taken her so long to start kicking up a fuss. She thought perhaps Sam was making more of an effort to understand what it was like for Janet, always having to play the 'bad guy' in the infirmary.

Once she was settled, Sam grinned triumphantly at Janet. "That's better. I feel more human now!"

Janet reached out and pushed a lock of hair behind Sam's ear. "And you look real good too, Sam," she said with feeling. True, Sam was still pale, and bruised, and had a long way to go in her recovery. But to Janet she had never looked more beautiful. Why is it, she mused, that you never realize how precious something is until you nearly lose it? "Mind if I stick around?" she asked Sam.

"I was hoping you would, Jan," Sam had a serious look on her face. "And that's why I wanted to be upright. I wanna talk to you, sweetie, is that okay?"

Janet started; she had almost convinced herself that 'the talk' would never happen. But she knew deep down that it had to, if they were ever going to move on. "Yes, baby, that's okay."

"Well I want you to just listen for a moment, Janet, and not interrupt. You can say anything you want after, but I just want to get a few things off my chest. Can I do that?" Sam asked her.

Janet nodded, dumbly.

"The first thing that you've got to know, honey, is that I love you. I always have loved you, and I always will love you. Never, ever forget that. Not for one second. However bad things get sometimes, whatever happens to us, any of us, that will never change. I swear to you," Sam's voice was still a little weak, but her words were clear and firm. "I love you Janet. You're my world."

Janet looked up at her, tears in her eyes.

"Second, you've got to stop feeling guilty," Sam saw Janet's mouth open to deny that. "Don't even try it Jan. I know how you felt when you almost turned off the life support. I'm just going to tell you this once; what you were going to do was the right thing. It was what I wanted. And if you have to make that call again, I hope you'll still love me enough to make that decision. It just happened on that occasion that my consciousness had been transferred to the computer mainframe - and there was no way in hell you could even have guessed at that. So stop beating yourself up. Please honey."

Sam paused for breath; such a long speech had taken it out of her, and it was more than she had said in over a week. Janet got up, poured a glass of water and passed it silently to her. "Thanks," Sam said. Her hand shook as she held the glass, but she was determined to continue. "I'm okay Janet," she looked up at her. "Well, I will be, soon. Thanks to you."

Janet smiled lovingly, and ran her hand lovingly down Sam's arm. She pulled her chair up closer to Sam, and held her hand.

"The third thing, baby, is that I'm gonna try. Real hard. I'm gonna try to be more considerate toward you. Those four months without you," she swallowed, determined not to let the emotion overwhelm her, "those four months were the worst of my life. No," she saw the anguish in Janet's face, "don't do it; don't feel guilty about that either. You were right. I've been asking too much of you. I swan off, without looking back, and I expect you to wait home for me. I never really understood how it was for you when I went off on missions, what you went through when I came back late, or injured, or sick." She was crying softly, at the thought of what she'd put her lover through. Janet tightened her grip on her hand. "I know, and you know, that I can't give up my job here. What we're doing here is just too important. Sometimes the fate of the galaxy literally depends on us. I know that sounds dramatic, but I can't get away from that fact."

She stopped again, and Janet could feel the tension in her just through her fingers. "Water?" Sam asked, her voice weak. Janet held the glass to her lips, and she swallowed gratefully. "It's alright, Jan, I'm just tired," Sam tried to smile.

She continued. "While I can't give up the job, baby, I can cut down on some parts of it. I spoke to the colonel earlier, and he's agreed. I'm going to cut back on some of the R&D, some of the techno stuff. I'll still go on missions, but not necessarily all of them. I'm going to work just four days a week from now on. Most weeks, that is," she amended, "I'm sure there'll still be times when I've got to be here much more than four days a week, and when it's the fate of the galaxy hanging in the balance..." she smiled, self-mockingly. She looked Janet straight in the eye. "But I'm really gonna try. I'm going to make more time for you, more time for the family, for the girls. I want us to be a real family. All four of us."

Sam was flagging now, Janet could tell. "One last thing, honey, and then you can talk," Sam gave her a small grin, she could tell Janet was bursting to speak. "The colonel has been talking to General Hammond. They both want you back here as CMO. And Colonel O'Neill suggested maybe you'd want to come back four days a week? You don't have to decide today, but it's just an idea. I thought maybe we could both work at the shelter on the other day, if you still want to do that?"

Janet was overwhelmed. This was better than she had ever hoped. She'd already decided that, assuming Sam was willing to give their relationship another go, that she would come back to the SGC - as long as there was still a job for her. The one thing that she had been sad about was leaving the women's refuge, and here Sam was, suggesting what seemed like the best of both worlds. And what was even better, unbelievably so, was that Sam wanted to work there with her.

But the thing that was most important to her was that Sam wanted what she wanted - for the four of them to be together as a family.

"You can talk now, honey," Sam smiled at Janet.

"I know," Janet said. "I just can't find the words to tell you how happy I am. I can't quite believe you're forgiving me for the way I behaved, I was so selfish," she saw Sam wanted to interrupt. "No Sam, you're wrong; I was stupid and selfish, I could only think of myself, I forgot all about everything, and everybody else. But then I went to the shelter, and I saw what some people have to put up with. Yes, I'll be honest. I hate it, every time you step through that 'gate. I can't bear to think of the risks you are taking. And I know what a courageous, selfless person you are, so I'm always terrified that you're not gonna come back. But I know I can live with that. If that's the price for being with somebody as incredible as you are, then I'll pay it, and gladly. I'll never shut you out like that again, honey, I promise."

She squeezed Sam's hand again. "And I do want to come back to the SGC. When I came here with Cassie and heard you had been in an accident offworld, I couldn't bear the thought of someone else going to get you. I hated seeing you in that mine shaft, but I would have hated it even more if it had been Warner, or Michaels, who brought you back. Love isn't always easy, honey, but if there's one thing I've learned in the last four months is that it is worth it. Every time. I won't screw up again like that, I swear to you. You can rely on me sweetie."

Sam looked at her with those beautiful, blue, soulful eyes. "I always have, Jan. And I always will."

Her words were shaky, and it wasn't just the the emotion; Sam was exhausted, physically and mentally. "Bed?" Janet suggested. Sam nodded, her eyelids starting to droop. Janet called a nurse into the room, and they lifted Sam back onto the bed. "Thanks," Janet said, dismissing the nurse. "I'll take it from here." She looked at Sam's face. She was pale, but she looked more relaxed than she had in a long time. "You okay, sweetie?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," Sam said. "Better than I have been for months."

Janet leaned over, and very gently kissed Sam on the lips. She felt like she had come home.