Thanks for all the feedback, guys, it really means a lot! You make my days brighter, I swear. Sending bear hugs to all of you, wherever you are!
The big chunk of dirt landed directly on his t-shirt, where a large brown blot formed within seconds. Kili cocked his head to the side, glancing down at the stain fairly unimpressed, and then at her with the scolding look of a disappointed teacher.
"Mind yourself," he warned. "Wars have been started over less."
"Ooh, I'm pissing myself!"
The brunet held eye contact for another whole minute, eventually stifling a weird laugh down his throat as a wicked idea began to form in his mind regarding revenge, and returned to the task at hand. After a while a shovel dropped on the ground and drew his attention. Nearly finishing digging the last hole, he lifted his head and looked at her.
"Alright," she panted out, dusting the dirt off her hands and arms, "you said fifteen minutes, I finished each one in less than ten. What do I win?"
He raised an eyebrow. "My esteem."
For which I don't give a damn, an annoying little voice whispered in her head.
"I heard that."
"I did not–! Oh, do me a favour and stop looking so pleased with yourself."
"How could I not?" Kili said with that trademark smug grin. "Catching you by surprise is a sight to behold."
The bugger had the nerve to wink at her. It elicited a growl from somewhere deep in her throat, and for a moment she looked ready to leap on him like a tiger on its prey. She decided not to let her rage burst and give him the satisfaction of proving how much he affected her from time to time. Just when she had grabbed both shovel and mattock and was ready to place them above the rest of the tools that were gathered at a corner, a gush of water with full pressure showered her out of the blue and made her heart miss several beats.
"Son of a b–" It took her approximately fifteen seconds to get over the first wave of shock. Then she turned around in slow motion, mouth gaping, thoroughly soaked to the bone.
And there was Kili, standing behind with the hosepipe in hand, chilling like a villain and grinning at her dripping attire. "Can't say I didn't warn you."
"You prick!" were the only words that managed to come out of her mouth.
And then it was like a tap opened. She proved rather inventive regarding the swear words she threw at him, since he acquired brand new information about certain parts of his body, as well as things that he could shove up there. She was too enraged to even take notice when her boot flung more dirt towards him.
Kili was all but displeased with his current state, even if his front looked like it was covered with shit. He didn't have much time to ponder on it, as Arya stomped off to the house like a thunderstorm, still cursing to the skies and, occasionally, him, and wincing at the feeling of the muddy clothes clinging to her skin.
"A disorderly retreat," he noted in amusement seeing her walk away. "I like that."
"That's no retreat," she growled under her breath, briefly glancing over her shoulder at him cracking up. "I'd rather get cleaned up than stew in mud, thank you very much. Then, I might devote some time to deal with you."
He found himself unable to wipe the smile off his face for the next five minutes. Although she did have a point. Both of them could really use a bath considering the amount of dirt and the mud on their clothes. But ladies first. He had to clean up the shovels and mattocks, and carry them back to the shed; surely she would be done with the shower by then.
What he was missing was that she was a rather thoughtful person. She didn't dare enter the house with the muddy boots on and simply left them by the door, hurrying to the small room where the washing machine was. She took the clothes off and held them in one hand, debating with herself. Should she do laundry? It was only a shirt and a pair of trousers that wasn't actually hers, but still, she was responsible for getting them dirty. Perhaps Kili should help her. Half the blame rested with him, after all.
Tranquility. Unnerving tranquility, if Kili might say so, spread in the entire house. Instead of tossing his work clothes in the hamper, he found the washer's little door wide open and waiting to perform its service. Arya's clothes were already in there. He pushed the small button and the machine wired to life. He promptly grabbed a new bottle of shower gel on his way to replace the one that emptied the day before and hurried up the stairs in the buff. The door to the bathroom opened with no noise and he was surprised to find the lights on.
His bare soles made a dull sound against the floor, but he faltered when, a step away from the tub, the shower curtain was suddenly whooshed aside by a hand, only to reveal the very naked manifestation of the woman he was thinking about on his way there.
"What the f–?" she cried with eyes wide in surprise, clutching the curtain to cover herself. "Don't you knock first?"
Safe to say, there was no danger of them ever having a boring interaction. Kili would start to fear for the world if being in the vicinity of each other got more eventful with time. "I'm sorry!" he rushed to apologise, raising his hands in plea of innocence. "I thought you were already asleep, I didn't know–"
"I got in here like two minutes ago!" she snapped. The eyes that weighed his response to gauge how honest it was seemed to migrate southward and take in his equally bare form. "Why almost every time we see each other in this house, you–" she stole another glance at a lower part of his body and, in a fraction of a moment, she'd gone all the way from astonished to predatory and back to abashed, "uh... you have to be naked, if not partly?"
Kili barely refrained from laughing. Her reaction was a nice long stroke to his ego—no pun intended. To rub salt into the wound, he put his hands on his hips, which did no less than enhancing the faint v-cut in his lower abdomen. "If you stop staring at that spot," he said pointedly, "I may answer you."
Her eyes swiftly snapped up to his face in horror when she realised her predicament. "I stare at–" she scoffed. "You'd wish! Now, if you please," she shooed him away with a wave of her hand, "I think we got a bit over acquainted with each other the past day."
"That is the truth," he sighed in agreement before dryly adding, "The naked truth, in fact." Not lingering more, his hand moved up in front of her face to hand her the full bottle of shower gel. "I think you'll be needing that."
"Thank you," she mumbled with a curt nod of her head, remaining half hidden behind the curtain.
Grabbing a towel from the shelf on his left, Kili swiftly turned around and made to head for the door, yet sensed a pair of very fine eyes still gawping at him—or rather his bare backside. He couldn't resist laughing under his breath this time. "Arya, stop staring there and take your shower."
"Oh, ha ha ha," the voice of pride mocked. "You seem to have a pretty big idea for your–"
"My what?" Within a fraction of a second he had swiveled around, coming to stand mere inches away from her, still naked and with only the curtain separating them.
There was a strained clearing of a throat that sounded all but graceful. "For yourself," she finished.
Kili made a non-committal sound, gesturing her to get on with the shower before turning his back to her yet again, wrapping the towel around his middle. "Don't take three hours in there, I wanna shower as well," his voice sounded as though he was grinning while he spoke. "Unless of course you wanna save water, in which case I'd better join you."
"Well, that sounds like a splendid idea–"
"Shut up."
Obviously the voices in her head didn't agree on the right approach of a reply. Therefore, the final one was, "How hurt would you be if I said, no, I'd rather lick the sand on the beach?" In truth, she regretted not accepting the absurd suggestion, just to revel in the petrified look on his face afterwards.
"Heartbroken," Kili dramatically pressed his forearm against his brow, able to stay in character for mere seconds before his shoulders shook with silent laughter.
Her body's response was practically automatic. Her subconscious had unwillingly indulged in many a dream inspired by the sight of a half-naked Kili smiling at her, so it was impossible to appear unaffected now. Although her brain commanded the fluttering sensation in her stomach and perhaps a bit lower to cease, the hormones responsible for the entire commotion apparently thought otherwise.
With a frustrated groan she jerked the curtain shut to conceal the whole tub from public view, hearing her heart beat faster than normal and feeling that the shower she was just about to take should probably be a cold one. Granted, she may not have much experience in these matters, but she was still a functioning human most of the time.
Sunday morning dawned bright and promisingly fair; not for all, that is. The two brothers showered their mother with wishes and presents and affection, to which she responded with small slaps because they had eaten all the chocolate the day before despite her warnings. As she rummaged through the kitchen in search of ingredients and her sons probably in the yard preparing the grill for the barbecue, it was their guest's turn to offer her wishes and present. It was a simple blue scarf, but she wholeheartedly appreciated the gesture and gave the young woman a warm hug. It actually made Arya feel somewhat part of the family, as well, although the sentiment wasn't long-lasting. Because then the other guests arrived.
But, no, no. Those weren't guests. Those were the real family, whereas Arya was in fact the guest; or more accurately, as certain someones —namely Thorin— acted like, an unwanted guest. At least Balin and his brother didn't seem so averse to her being around.
It had been her absolute– Actually, no, that wouldn't be the right word. It was more of a... grotesque, nauseating, run-the-other-way-if-your-life's-depending-on-it pleasure to meet the infamous uncle Thorin. The dude was so obnoxious, Arya couldn't decide if she genuinely liked his friend and Kili's godfather, Dwalin, or if the big burly man with the tattoos seemed awesome by comparison.
It got even worse when he learned about her previous job, where her then boss often worked in collaboration with Thorin's —it wouldn't be a stretch to say— archenemy, if someone took into consideration the scarlet hue on his face the moment He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was mentioned. A new round of subtle biting comments began, punctuated by the occasional laughter of some of the rest in the room who discussed about other matters rather merrily and did not dare join in the conversation of the two.
Although the grumpy, often constipated looking-like man's comments had ingrained themselves in her mind more than she would care to admit, Arya's pride had the fortunate habit of not allowing another person's opinion of her to affect her. The outcome of a series of unfortunate events during childhood and puberty was an unnervingly calm exterior that cracked on very rare occasions. History had shown that it was incredibly pesky for people who tried to get under her skin, and very enjoyable for her going by their frustrated reactions. She could be a little pain in the arse if the circumstances so required, and she was absolutely fine with it.
Fili was discreetly watching the heated exchange with a balanced mix of shock and amusement, as well as Arya's constant glances at her phone and her growing unease. Something had happened; he didn't know what, but surely it was no good. He was ready to chime in any moment now to calm the spirits down, but the doorbell was mercifully faster.
It was a miracle how Thorin hadn't stumbled on his way to open the front door, considering the death glares she was giving him. She noticed the blond approaching. "Now I can see where Kili's inherent ability to irk people came from."
The blond barked a laugh. "Come on, he's not so bad."
"Not so bad?" she scoffed. "Look, I know he's your uncle, but the man is– He is– I can't even find the words to describe it."
"It usually takes him some time before he warms up to someone."
Her eyes went wide. "Warm up?" she repeated in disbelief. "Fili, the nicest thing he said to me was that I should take a tranquillizer to keep my tongue at bay."
His hand reflexively rose up to his mouth, and he coughed to cover the chuckle that bubbled in his throat. "That does sound like him."
"Well, let me tell you something," the dark-haired woman growled, "if I take a tranquillizer, I will only calm down. If he takes a tranquillizer, we will all calm down!"
Fili laughed again and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. "You know what they say, barking dogs and all. Now, off you go and change," he urged with a pat on her back. "I've a bet going on about certain mouths hanging open when they see you in that dress."
"Wh– How did you even know I brought a dress?"
He had the nerve to look offended. "You shouldn't underestimate me because I'm not meddling in things. I know everything."
That was a look that belied his playful tone, and she felt like he was insinuating something beyond the topic of the dress. Then it hit her, "Wait—you've got a bet? How much?"
Fili gave a satisfied smirk. He didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed. "A decent amount."
Arya seriously started to consider coming down in sweatpants just out of spite.
In the privacy of the small room she forgot about it. She'd called her aunt again and no one answered. Instead of the bet, she was now considering leaving. With a heavy sigh she grabbed her bag to take it down where Fili and Kili had left theirs, since they would occupy the mattress in the basement and she the sofa.
No more than fifteen minutes had passed, and she was surprised to find a small crowd downstairs. Among them, a few familiar faces, such as Luke, his parents and, last but not least, the woman who had the ridiculously close exchange with Kili in that pub two nights ago. Arya visibly cringed. She already had a bad feeling about this; almost as though the party had a predisposition to turn into a Greek tragedy.
"Oh, there she is," Luke happily exclaimed as soon as she caught his eye.
"You were talking about me?"
"Always the nicest things," he replied with a cheeky smile and beckoned her closer to introduce her to his parents.
They were oblivious to the tall form of someone who was fiddling with the drinks behind a counter and watched them from afar like a hawk. The fantasy going on in Kili's head since he saw her coming down the stairs was something straight out of Miller's Tropic of Cancer. Lord have mercy on his depraved soul.
He could hear nothing they said, but they must have been discussing something funny because chuckles were flowing thick and fast. As much as he was loath to admit, seeing her smile and laugh, even if someone else and not him was the cause of it, was endearing in and of itself. To his dismay, he could feel those obnoxious stirrings again that made him all jittery. Eight-letter word, starting with a 'j'—let the guesses begin.
He let a long-suffering sigh. This is just sad. He refused to feel jealous on principle. Because, in all honesty, he hadn't hit those levels of paranoia; he was simply confused by how she seemed to be amiable with other people without so much as a second thought, but not with him. Although they might have had a few heated moments, the situation between them was always as complicated and eruptive as a live wire after a flash storm that secretly waited to be touched by a hand and roast it alive. He took a sip of his beer, eyes remaining pinned on her, until he made up his mind. He grabbed a bottle and determinedly strolled up to the small huddle.
At an unsuspecting moment Arya felt an arm across her shoulders and a voice laughing next to her ear, "And how is everyone enjoying the party? Food's nearly ready."
Kili had found a way to squeeze himself into a practically nonexistent space between her and Luke, while the latter's sole option was to sidestep as his friend took center stage. He handed her the beer, which she accepted with a nod, while the hand across her shoulders swiftly dropped down to the small of her back.
Arya flinched in response, almost choking on the beer as her head jerked to face him. What the hell? Was that actually his hand? Did he get pissed already?
Luke's parents soon followed the rest out in the yard, while the three young ones remained inside. Fili appeared literally moments later, with a devilish smile and a spring in his step.
"I think I'm in love," the blond declared and the other three rolled their eyes in such sync, one might think they had it arranged. "That is one perky–"
"Hey," Luke muttered with a dramatic shake of his head. "Here's an idea. You walk into a room, take a quick scan!"
The subtle nod towards her did not go unnoticed. "What, because of me?" Arya laughed. "Oh trust me, I've heard much worse over the past year and a half. The wall that separates our rooms is disgustingly thin."
"And who is it this time?" asked Kili, fairly unimpressed. "Because I remember you saying the exact same thing for someone who passed by us on the street four days ago."
"You can't fault a man for appreciating the beauty in this world," Fili shrugged innocently, eyes searching for said woman. "There, the one with the red heels."
The moment Arya spotted her, she scoffed. "I think that one's taken."
"What?" Fili whined. "How do you know–?"
"Ask him," her hand pointed to the man beside her, who by the way still had his arm around her waist. She really didn't know what to make of it—maybe he was possessed. "They came rather close two nights ago," there was a bitter undercurrent in her voice. "Chatting for about... thirty minutes, if I'm not mistaken?"
The grip on her waist promptly tightened, though she was rather agile and managed to extricate herself from it and put some distance between them.
Kili hadn't stopped glaring at her the entire time. "Would you like to reiterate our conversation of two nights ago to prove that's rubbish?"
The intimidating, deep voice made her a little weak in the knees. Damn him for all eternity.
The lack of reply gave Kili the wrong impression. Without addressing the matter further, he turned to Fili, "That's Joan."
"The one from summer camp?"
Kili nodded.
"Well, well... it's a small world after all."
"The world is not small," his flatmate commented dryly. "It's just that you've slept with almost every woman in it."
"Aww," Fili reached out a hand to stroke her hair, raising an eyebrow in the most suggestive manner possible, "is that a complaint, love?"
The brunet resisted the urge to elbow him in the ribs and just glared at him, though it appeared not to affect the blond's foxy grimace at all.
Arya shook her head dramatically, pretending to vomit. "You know," she sighed, "I'd answer appropriately right now, but my brain is just too busy bleaching itself to exterminate even the thought of what you're implying."
The cheeky smile did not abandon his face as he shrugged, "Your loss. Now, if you'll excuse me, it is time for me to conquer this fair maiden's heart."
"Oh god," their female companion sounded positively appalled, "please tell me you did not just say that."
The blond didn't even grace them with a proper response. He only glanced at them over his shoulder, sighing dramatically, "You, people, are vile. Is romance completely lost to you?" and went on his way.
Arya's laugh was doomed to be short-termed. The lightness of the moment was interrupted by a buzzing in her hand. Looking down, she saw the name flicker on the screen and felt like a breath caught in her throat.
See ya next time!
