Day 13
To say I was "on edge" was a bit of an understatement.
Because as Dr. Aurelius kept talking, I kept realizing that this wasn't a dream.
It had to be a dream. There's no way I could equate Peeta Mellark to the killer of twenty-three children.
It wasn't a dream. Oh, my god, he'd been in the same house as Prim-
He was a victim, too!
Oh my god, Prim! I'd forgotten about Prim!
It took the doctor and I a solid two hours to talk through the merpeople's crazy government with their crazy killing pageants. But then I remembered the wars that wracked my own race, and I wondered what if they bad guys had won, what if America had fallen and what if that was me? Or Prim?
Apparently, Peeta had done something along the lines of writing Prim a note, but I knew that wouldn't be good enough for her or my mother or Gale. So I informed the doctor that I had to get out of there now.
The doctor then informed me of my status as Peeta's true love. That was another doozy. I tried to convince him that he was wrong, that there had to be another spell-breaking kiss besides a "true love's kiss," whatever that even means, but then he just implied that I was the reason Peeta was still a human. And I spat back that if they were waiting on me to magically fall in love with a boy I'd just met, they'd be waiting the rest of their lives. And Dr. Aurelius just sort of sighed and glared at me in a way that let me know he thought Peeta was worth a thousand of me, and said That's Too Bad.
Peeta is an emotionally unstable boy that yes, has had a lot of bad things happen to him, but does not have the right to go claiming whatever he wants. All I did was be a regular Samaritan. When Peeta was at my house, he was free to leave whenever he liked. Do I get the same hospitality? No. I get insane anti-government-government-lockdown.
And really, what's so bad about being human anyways? I get that it's kind of a rarity, but people need to stop staring at me when they walk down the halls. If they don't like it, fine, I can take Peeta and leave. Though I'm not sure he'd want to. As far as I can tell, people here worship the ground he walks on. Water he swims through. Whatever.
He also hasn't come back since he got called away yesterday by that weird President lady. Who kidnaps their supposed true love and then abandons them?
Whatever.
Since they wouldn't let me leave, I decided to sneak out.
It was around three in the morning, I think. They had time-telling devices here, but it was in that alphabet I couldn't read, so I was approximating. There was surprisingly little security, but then again, I'm not sure these people have ever run into internal problems before. They're probably too worried about the rebellion, which they should be.
I was starting to think I should have let myself out earlier, because this place was fucking huge. And I wasn't the best swimmer. Not that I was bad, by any means, but it's one thing to swim on the surface and another to swim underwater, and I haven't had that much practice at either. Also, I didn't really know where I was going, so I was just kind of wandering around this giant sea-cave at three in the morning.
If they ask, I'll claim I was just restless.
"Katniss?"
Fuck. Not fair. It was way too soon. I plastered a smile on my face and turned around, making out human legs. "Oh – Peeta!" Not fucking fair.
He made a few more strokes towards me. He still swam like a mermaid – legs together, shoulders bobbing, fingers spread – like he still had a tail and fins and webbing on his hands. "Katniss, you can't lie. You don't have to smile at me."
I let the fake grin drop. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you out here."
"Couldn't sleep."
"Same here," I lied. He didn't call me on it. I decided to go ahead solidifying my cover story. "I figured I'd just wander around, but I think I'm lost. This place is too big."
A smile quirked on his lips. "Your buildings are so small."
"We actually have to build them, you know," I replied, not really premeditating my words. "Don't have magic to just make everything appear."
I expected him to get defensive, but he surprised me. It seems like that's all he ever does. "You're right," he agreed. "Not that I've ever really seen it until…" he trailed off. "…recently. Speaking of magic, why didn't you agree to a tail, while you were here?"
I crossed my arms over my chest, which in hindsight wasn't the best decision, because it was a lot harder to keep myself steady in the water. "Dr. Aurelius didn't even ask," I said.
Peeta seemed surprised. He raised his eyebrows. "He didn't?"
"No," I said, blasé. "We were pretty busy discussing other things."
"Other things," he echoed, the question in his eyes.
"Yeah," I said, pausing a moment too long, just to let him squirm. "Were you ever going to tell me? Victor Peeta?"
He closed his eyes and bit his lip. "Yes," he answered eventually.
"Twenty-three kids," I said. "That's a lot."
I was pushed back suddenly by a current of water. Peeta had flipped himself away from me suddenly, and from the set of his shoulders I could tell he was angry. "Shut up."
"That's a lot to leave out."
"Shut up! You're just a human! You wouldn't know ANYTHING!" he was shouting now. He stopped, and swallowed, trying to control himself, but his voice came out wobbly. "I only just got my voice back. What was I supposed to do, sign you the message?"
"Might have been nice," I sneered.
"You're disgust-" he started, and then trailed off. "I'm…Katniss?"
I frowned, not sure what he was asking.
He continued in a strained voice. I didn't like it. "Marvel and Glimmer were from District 1. He specialized in spears and traps. She was an all-around career. Cato and Clove where from District 2. Cato was brutal. He preferred a sword. Clove had throwing knives. Mitch and Klockia were from District 3. When the careers realized our alliance, they grabbed Mitch and forces him into finishing reactivating the bombs. Klockia helped us avoid them. Ethan and Shelly were from District 4. He had curly hair. She was probably the least deadly of the careers-"
"Peeta, stop," I whispered.
If anything, he gained strength. "Chris and Foxface were from District 5. Chris died in the bloodbath. Foxface's real name is Jacky; I didn't know until afterwards, because she never spoke to us. She was too clever for that. Ash and Mary where from District 6. Ash was wounded in the bloodbath and died later that night from lack of blood. Mary was 13. She and Rue had a zipline system. Sam and Leifa were from District 7. He died in the bloodbath. I don't know what happened to her. Sciss and Millie were from District 8. He made a net and got really good at fishing. That fed us for days. Millie-"
He stopped suddenly.
I took the opportunity to jump in. "Peeta, don't. I get the point-"
"Millie got her neck snapped by Cato," Peeta continued, not looking at me. "He was threatening to eat her, but Rue and Klockia threw these noxious stinkbombs, so he cleared out before he got the chance. I carried her away and-" his voice caught again. "Her right arm was paralyzed. Bobby and…and the girl, I don't remember her name, from District 9. He, um, he had black hair and didn't trust us, and got captured by the careers one night. She died in the bloodbath. Jerome and Dakota where from District 10. They knew a lot about plants, surprisingly."
"Peeta-"
"I'm almost done!" he snapped, and began to rush. "Thresh and Rue were from District 11. He popped in and out in our group. He came in fourth in the games. If he-" he shook his head. "Rue was only 12. She was so small. She lived in trees most of the games. District 12, that was me and…Maizy…"
He turned back to me. "That's twenty-three people. And me."
At this point, what I wanted most was for the ground to come up and swallow me whole. "Peeta, I get it. I'm awful."
"No, that's not the point," he said. "That was twenty-three people. It was the longest Games on record. The Capitol's pissed."
"Screw them," I replied. Peeta almost smiled.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked.
I blinked in surprise. "But Peeta. I'm awful."
"No worse than me," he murmured, coming closer to me. "Twenty-three people. You should run."
"Like I'd ever. Why do you possibly – mmph."
It was another hard, closed-lipped kiss. The intensity of it took my breath away. When he stopped, he rested his forehead against mine, eyes closed. We stayed that way for several minutes.
He broke the silence first. "I'm glad you'll never have to go through that."
"I'm angry you did," I whispered back.
"Nothing you can do about it now."
I raised my arms and embraced him tightly.
"You didn't know," he muttered. "You and your small little world up there. You just didn't know." I didn't know if he was trying to convince himself or me.
I knew I was horrible and wouldn't deserve someone like him if I lived a thousand lifetimes. So I said nothing.
"Come on," he murmured, pulling away. "It's late. You're tired. Let's get you back to your room."
He grabbed my hand and began leading me in the direction I'd came. I could tell it was slowing both of us down, but I kept them intertwined. I wondered what the mermaid equivalent of holding hands was. They obviously couldn't with all the webbing.
We were silent for the rest of the swim. I was too afraid to say anything, and he was tired of speaking.
After about ten minutes, we arrived back at my room. Peeta stopped in the doorway and tried to disengage our hands, but I seized his. "You don't have to go," I said quietly.
He might have blinked. "What?"
I could feel my cheeks burning. "Let me make it up to you. Stay with me?"
Peeta leaned in closer. "I told you. I have a hard time sleeping."
"It can't hurt to just lie here," I argued.
He hesitated. "Okay."
I practically pulled him into the bed. After all, I'd be running away tomorrow night. I tried to keep my heart from pounding too loudly as we lay there, side-by-side.
"I'm sorry I blew up at you," he whispered.
Impulsively, I flipped over, curling up into his side and letting my head rest on his shoulder. He seemed surprised, but moved his arm up and around me to allow access before letting it rest precariously on my waist. "I deserved it," I told him.
"This is weird," he said.
"Hm?"
"This." I felt him shrug. "Merpeople don't sleep so close. Crushes the gills."
I gaped up at him. "You have gills?"
"Yeah," he answered. "On the neck." His opposite hand reached up to touch a spot below my ear. I closed my eyes, not sure how I felt about being positively cradled like this. His hand retracted suddenly. "Goodnight, Katniss."
"Night," I said back.
I don't think either of us slept very well. I know I only ever dozed. It seemed like just as I was about to tumble into a deeper sleep, Peeta twitched and jerked me awake. I don't blame him. He did warn me he didn't sleep well, and it wasn't exactly his fault he was having nightmares.
Still. I wished more than anything that I could wipe the frown from his lips.
The incident happened at a more decent hour of the morning, six or seven or so, and this time Peeta jumped so hard I might have flown out of the bed if it weren't for his death grip on my shoulder. "Katniss," he hissed, "Katniss! Wake up!"
I winced, squeezing my eyes shut hard before opening them. "What?"
"I've got a problem."
I rolled over onto my other side to face him. "What?" I spat again, noticing the problem at roughly the same time he gestured to it. I closed my eyes quickly. Peeta's boy problems were not what I had in mind.
"Katniss, it's broken."
"It's not broken, Peeta," I hissed.
"Yeah, it is! Open your eyes, look. It's that thing you use for waste disposal-"
"Waste disposal?" I echoed.
Peeta's voice was getting increasingly desperate. "I don't know what it's called!"
My eyes flew open, but I took special care to keep them on his upper half. "It's called a penis, Peeta! And that's an erection. It's no big deal. It just means you're sexually aroused."
Peeta flushed. "Sexually what?"
"You know what I mean," I hissed, rolling over.
"Ah, no, I don't!" he corrected, voice rising.
"Then how do mermaids have babies, Peeta!"
"Babies! What? But Katniss, your eggs are – I mean, you haven't – they're not -"
I sat up. "What are you talking about?"
He snapped up to, clenching his jaw. "You need to drop eggs before I can…" he gestured to his lap again.
I looked pointedly in the other direction. "Um, humans sort of do a birthing live young sort of thing," I mumbled.
"Oh," I heard him say. "That's weird."
"Sor-ry," I said sarcastically to the floor.
I heard him push himself on the bed, and was waiting for him to leave the room so I could pretend that never happened in peace. Instead I heard him say, "So, Katniss-" at a much closer proximity than I thought he was.
I leapt off the bed, ending up unbalancing and falling face-first towards the floor. "Oh, no!" I yelled. "We are not-"
Peeta's hand shot out and grabbed mine, pulling me closer and into a more-upright position than what I was. "Relax," he said, letting me slide my hand out of his. "I was just going to ask if you wanted breakfast. Look, it went away, see?"
I cautiously ventured a look south. He was right.
Peeta attempted a smile. "So, breakfast?"
"Um, I guess," I said, unable to think of a good reason to decline. "I was just brought meals yesterday."
"There's a cafeteria," he informed me. He paused for a second, and then ducked down under the bed, rummaging around. I bent down also, interested to find there were hidden compartments. "Here," he said, pulling out a pair of flippers to match his own. "This should help you swim faster."
"Okay," I agreed, rather cluelessly, watching as he snapped them on over my feet.
"Right," he said, taking particular care not to grab my hand again. "Let's go. This way."
Initially, I stayed a little behind him, but as we approached the destination, and the District became more crowded with merpeople, I found myself getting closer and closer to Peeta. They kept on staring at us, specifically me, with narrowed eyes. And their eyes, the most colorful I've ever seen, amber and green and blue, they were beautiful, like Peeta's eyes, so I was almost distracted from the fact they were glaring at me.
"Peeta," I asked softly, trying to keep shoulder-to-shoulder at this point, "Why do your people hide from humans?"
"The Capitol tells us you're all savages," Peeta answered matter-of-factly. He shrugged. "I don't think there was any real interest in disproving that until recently, either."
My mouth felt dry, which was ridiculous, because I was at the bottom of the ocean. "Right," I replied. "I figured."
Apart from the harsh looks, no one approached us as we entered the cafeteria (the largest hall I've seen so far) and got in line for food. Peeta had to do some explaining – something about schedules? – but eventually we got two adequate sized meals and sat down in an unoccupied corner.
Well, mostly unoccupied. We were jumped about halfway through the meal.
"So you're Katniss!"
I jumped maybe a foot in the air, not hearing anyone approach from behind me. As it turned out, there were three people. Er, merpeople. I looked over to Peeta, surprised again to find he was scowling slightly.
He glanced over at me too. "Katniss Everdeen," he said, looking a little resigned, "Meet Johanna Mason and FinnickandAnnie."
They were all extraordinarily beautiful. Johanna had short, dark brown hair, with a wiry build and a dark green tail. The boy, Finnick I suppose, I recognized from the time President Coin had taken Peeta away, but definitely seemed happier at the moment. The girl on his arm, Annie, had long, flowing hair, with a willowy build and a turquoise tail, and was absolutely not looking at me. Now that they'd stopped swimming, the fins of their tails started to wrap around each other.
"Oh, shut it," Finnick addressed Peeta, eyes twinkling when he turned to me. "I'm Finnick Odair, and this is my wife, Annie."
"But if you address them as one name it's really okay," Peeta said.
Annie avoided my gaze, allowing Finnick to guide them into seats on the other side of the table, Finnick playfully bumping Peeta with his shoulder as he sat down next to him. The mermaid equivalent of seats were these seaweed benches. When I looked up, I another layer of tables that extended down from the ceiling.
Johanna sat next to me. "68th" she called out.
"65th," Finnick added.
Annie said softly, "70th."
Peeta smiled tightly. "And you know me."
I wondered what they were talking about, but then I realized it was the year. The year of each of the Hunger Games they had won. I looked down and my food suddenly seemed a lot less appetizing. "You guys all know each other?" I asked.
Finnick shrugged, digging into his breakfast. "We stick together," he shrugged. "It's hard to find anyone else who understands."
"Amen," Johanna added. She'd finished about half her meal already. She swallowed the bite in her mouth and asked, "So, humans still don't run around with togas and sticks and kill strangers on sight?"
I glanced at Peeta, who was unhelpfully looking down at his food. "Not usually," I replied. "We've got actual clothes and spears now. Metal sticks."
"Not cannibals?"
"Only if we're desperate."
Her eyebrows rose. "And how often is that?"
I shrugged. "I dunno, three times a day. Whenever it starts to feel painful-"
"Katniss!" Peeta interrupted, sounding appropriately scandalized. He turned to Johanna. "She's just kidding. They're just like us, really."
I felt three sets of eyes staring at me, despite what Peeta said. I scowled back at all of them. "I figured you guys would see what you expected," I told them. "Didn't see any use fighting it." I narrowed my eyes. "Also, I don't like you people very much, seeing as I'm basically being held captive."
Finnick and Annie were emotionless, but Johanna was right in my face, sizing me up. "So you're Katniss," she repeated. "Any other facts about you humans that you'd like to share?"
I glared back at her. "Sure," I said. "We do a lot of things I haven't seen you do here. We go outside often. You know, out of these little compounds? We also use these legs a lot, because we don't float around. We walk and climb and dance. Do you guys have dancing or music? We cook our food over fires. They're really hot. They burn. I don't know what you do here. And we're pretty protective of our families." I glanced at Peeta and his empty dishes. "You done?"
"You didn't finish your food," he pointed out.
"You can have it. I'm not hungry."
"Katniss," he said gently but kind of angry. I was already kicking off the bench.
Screw all of them.
I found my way back to my room and asked the doctor for a copy of Peeta's games. I watched on the "highlights" mode, so the whole thing only took about an hour. Long story short, he led an alliance of about seven unhealthy-looking kids against six strong-looking ones. Based on the commentary, the healthy districts always banded together, but Peeta was making history.
About ten minutes from the end, these giant sharks were introduced into the arena. In order to not get eaten alive, all the remaining tributes had to take refuge in this jellyfish field. Healthy Clove pushed this tiny little girl, Maizy, Peeta's district partner, straight into this twelve foot-long monster they called a jellyjacker, which was apparently extra poisonous and painful, and Peeta teamed up with this boy Thresh to take out the three remaining careers. They all went bat-shit insane, which the commentators guessed was a side effect of all the poison in the water. Peeta killed Clove, and Thresh killed Marvel but was decapitated by Cato, who Peeta forced out of the jellyfish field so got eaten. Then Peeta realized that the little girl, Maizy wasn't dead yet, so went back for her. Right there they jumped to the next seen, which was Peeta being teleported out of the arena with this huge welts all over his body and his head cracked open. I wondered what had happened that they'd cut out.
Then I watched Finnick's, Johanna's, and Annie's games all in a row. I didn't throw up until the end of Annie's games, where they almost completely drained the arena of water at the end and the last ten of them suffocated all at once. She survived by using blood to breathe. Now I know why she wouldn't look at me at breakfast.
I refused to grant the doctors anything after they cleaned up my vomit, just going straight back to bed.
Peeta visited me later that evening. I pretended I was asleep.
I had the worst nightmares of my life that night.
A/N: Sorry for the delay. I hope this chapter makes up for it!
