A/N: Wow. Many thanks to my reviewers. You guys made my day; believe me when I say that. On a side note, next chapter is going to be the last one until Vanished comes out.

Also, I want to thank Glyndewar for beta-ing this chapter. :)


Nice, Nice

I spent every day of the school year sitting in the chapel, paying my respects to (some) of the headmasters. What I failed to process, however, was that it was essentially a chapel – a place of God and worship. It seemed as if my three years of sitting in the sacred area did nothing to teach me how to be a better guy.

Or worse, I never bothered to think about it.

Living in a society where sex and sin was an everyday topic didn't help my quest to be a worthy person. It surrounded me. It consumed me. God never dropped by to tell me, "Hello Joshua. I think it's high time you straighten your things out, Mister." I was a black hole, and I had a sickening feeling I wasn't going to be saved from the pits of hell.

So, sitting in a chapel every day was a fruitless attempt. Ultimately, I was an ass. It didn't matter if I loved Reed. I had lied to Ivy, my current girlfriend, and nothing was going to fix it. Both Reed and I had made out – a lot. A ton. I was sucked into the black hole of passion, and my eyes were blinded by it. I felt terrible.

After unwillingly leaving Reed's dorm, I slept for three hours. By the time I woke up, I was cranky and beyond guilty. How was I going to talk to Ivy and act as if nothing was wrong? Should I even tell her? Did I even want to break up with her?

These thoughts clogged my mind when I came out of the elevator the same day, getting ready for breakfast. I turned around the corner, preparing myself for ignoring everyone when suddenly, I saw an animated Ivy talking to Graham.

My heart ceased to beat, and a rush of cold water was dropped over my head. As I zeroed in, I saw Ivy leaning against the wall with books in her hand, twirling her hair occasionally. Graham was leaning in too far for comfort as he chatted with Ivy. For a split second, I realized Graham seemed to be at ease. As if he was sincerely talking to Ivy, and not just to annoy me. Nonetheless, I saw red and proceeded to break the two up.

"Ivy, what are you doing here?" I said cautiously. Immediately, she backed out and rushed to my side, her skin flaming red. Graham's eyes narrowed, his lips forming the tiniest of smirks.

"I – I was waiting for you, actually. And then . . . Well – I mean, you were taking kind of long," she stammered. Ivy was still blushing and was looking extremely nervous. My eyes flickered back at Graham.

"We were just having a chat, Hollis. Nothing's wrong with talking, right Ivy? We do plenty of that and–"

"Shut up!" Ivy hissed.

For the second time today, my insides froze. Was Ivy talking to Graham behind my back? Did she think Graham was better than me? Or worse, was she cheating on me?

Oh, who was I kidding? I did the same exact thing only a few hours ago. But the very fact that it was with Graham made me sick. He was a twisted fuck, even though I, at one point, enjoyed his company. I couldn't trust him, and neither could Ivy.

"What's Graham talking about? Have you been hanging out with him?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice calm. Accusingly, I stared at Graham, and he just smiled. Smug bastard.

Ivy took one last fleeting look at Graham and grabbed my hand, trying to drag me out of Ketlar. I was startled at her ferocity; she looked impossibly mad, yet there was a certain amount of fear and nervousness. Whatever she had to say was probably important. Graham could wait.

As Ivy and I approached the wooden doors, I heard an angry Graham say, "Don't like having things taken from you, eh? Now you know how I feel!"

I stopped in the middle of my tracks, frustration and plain annoyance getting to me. I knew it; it was all a game for him. He wanted me to feel bad, and disgustingly enough, he was using Ivy in the process. Immediately, Ivy tugged on my hand even tighter and said, "He's not worth it. Let's go."

"Oh, really? Since when did you become an expert on me and Graham?"

Ivy reddened and I instantly felt horrible. But I was too angry to even consider her embarrassment. Throwing caution aside, I whipped my head to the side and faced Graham, saying the only thing that could come up in my mind.

"Haven't you considered that it was her choice? She took herself from you. There's no reason to be mad at me; it's obvious you're mad at her. At Jen. You're ruining any memory of her, so I'd suggest you stop."

I stopped myself. I hadn't realized the amount of truth to those words, but I was right. Graham was just taking out his pent up frustration out on me since I was the easiest to blame. Suicides were always selfish; the person felt lonely, or they didn't fit in, but at the end of the day, it was for them. It was completely normal for him to grieve, but this? This was too much. I couldn't handle it, and I didn't think Graham could either.

Right now, I was glad for the absence of my dorm mates. Because as I looked up, Graham's face was wet with tears, and drip, drip, drip they went. I couldn't help but soften, and suddenly, the weight of the world crashed down: my guilt for cheating on Ivy, my guilt for treating Ivy and Reed in an awful manner, my guilt for not making things right between Graham and I.

"Fuck you, Hollis."

With that, Graham ran off to the stairs, leaving me broken.

Ivy and I were too shocked and too uncomfortable to say anything. By now, more of the guys had started to pour in, each giving me a baffled look. As I thought about it, it seemed alright that I told Graham the truth. He deserved to know, and that was the least I could do.

"Josh, let's go," Ivy said quietly. She began to pull my arm a little, and reluctantly, I followed her.

We barely left the building when Ivy roughly pulled me to the side. We were now in an alley, Ivy pushing me to go deeper between the stone walls. Finally, she halted and looked at me square in the face. "Just to answer your question, Graham and I have not been fooling around. He already knows you hate him, but he can be a nice guy. Sometimes," she added grimly.

Defiantly, I raised my head. "Didn't look like it," I mumbled. And news flash: Graham is not a nice guy.

Ivy sighed and shook her head. "We need to talk. There's too much . . . distance between us. I – I want to make this work. Don't you want to make this work, Josh?"

Shit. How was I going to answer that? Did I want to make it work? Not really. Not after I realized Reed still loved me. But did I want to break it to her like this? No. My mother taught me to respect women, and I was going to try my hardest. Even if Ivy didn't give a damn about the way I presented her break up, I had to do it right. She deserved it.

Feeling melancholy, I said, "Yeah, we need to talk. How about you come over tonight? Is that alright with you?" I hoped she didn't notice that I did not answer her last question.

Her blue eyes widened, and she seemed a little detached. She sighed again. "Actually, I can't. I . . . have to attend to something. But is tomorrow OK?"

I nodded. "Sure," I managed to say, my voice cracking. God, how was I going to do it? I was already shaking from fear.

Ivy gave me a tight smile. "I'll see you later then." She came over in careful steps, her lovely face looking sad, and leaned towards me. Oh no, was she going to kiss me?

Frowning and thinking of a better idea, she paused midway and moved her head to the side, gently kissing my cheek. Her lips lingered there for a few moments longer, as if she wanted me to know something. As if she was trying to mark me.

But I had already marked hers – I had already slashed her heart, barely giving it anytime to repair it. Come the second time around, nothing was going to save it from bleeding as if it had the same fucking hemophilia genes from Queen Victoria herself.


Day two and I had yet to speak with Reed or Ivy. Right now, I was waiting for her in front of Pemberly, as I usually did, so we could go to breakfast. Last night, as lame as this sounded, I wrote down what I wanted to say to Ivy. I had a few bullet points on my tiny slip of paper which I had memorized.

Finally, I glanced up and saw a distraught Ivy leaving the dorm. I jogged up, my heart beating beyond measure. Giving myself a few pep talks, I told myself everything would be alright, and tonight was the night I was going to explain everything to her. I was doing nothing wrong.

"Ivy, hey; what's the rush?"

She only scoffed and grabbed her Fendi messenger bag tighter. She continued walking in a fast pace, forcing me to keep long strides.

"Ivy?" I asked again, keeping my voice calm. What was wrong with her?

"I'm busy Hollis. We already had a meeting planned for tonight, so during the time in between, leave me alone," she said briskly. Ivy lengthened her walk, effectively leaving me all by myself. As I saw her raven hair whip back and forth with the wind, I wondered:

How much did she know? What did she know?


School was a nervous matter. I could barely concentrate on anything, and I felt downright shitty. Thinking back to this morning, I realized she must have known what happened between Reed and I. Why else was she angry and refusing to talk to me?

I heard some whispers here and there. A lot of the girls I recognized who lived in Pemberly were giving me odd looks. On more than one occasion, I caught a group of senior girls pointing at me, and giving me disgusted looks. This was getting out of hand; how did they know?

By the time our meeting time came around, I was an anxious wreck. I had already told Trey to not come by for about an hour, and he obliged, winking as he left the room. I wish it was for pleasure, but alas, it wasn't.

So when I heard a loud knock on my door, I went up, shaking from head to toe. I could hardly walk.

No matter. Ivy ended up opening the door with a bang, stomping into my room. Her mouth was set in a thin, angry line. I noticed there was an eerie calmness about her which was peculiar, to say the least. Feeling apprehensive, I timidly sat down on my bed while Ivy stood up.

"So–"

"Did you or did you not kiss Reed while I was sleeping next door?"

I wasn't sure what my face looked like, but I was a hundred percent sure it looked like the face of a liar. How did she find out? Who told her?

"How do know?"

She smiled the most disgusting way she could. "Perfect Miss Reed told me, trying to spare my feelings."

Great. Reed told Ivy? So, in the end, I was right. Clusterfucks seemed to follow me everywhere I went. "I – I don't know what to say . . ."

Ivy snorted. "Save yourself. You're a real ass, you know that? If you wanted to fuck your ex, you should have done that in the janitor's closet, not the room next to mine! Why – why didn't you tell me?" Ivy's slender body slumped and she sat on the bed, sighing.

Closing my eyes in defeat, I said, "I don't know."

"The hell you did. Do you have any idea how I feel? I thought Reed and I were friends, and I thought you . . . wanted me." Here, Ivy rolled over on Trey's bed and lay down sideways, curling like a deeply wounded kitten.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say.

"I was right – I knew it all along. You were always pining for Reed, and I was just another obstacle in your way."

Hurriedly, I tried to interject. "No, no, it's not what you think! After everything I told you–"

"OK, stop," Ivy interrupted. "Just say it." She sat back up on the bed, her expression guarded. Girl knew how to bounce back.

I pulled back, confused. "What? Say what?"

"Say it – say that you don't want me. Make it official, and quit being a coward." She lifted her dainty head up in an act of indifference. But I was not fooled; I saw lingering tears in her eyes.

Quietly and with extreme act of courage, I said, "I love Reed more."

She looked away and quickly brushed her tears to the side. My heart broke over and over again, but I could only imagine what Ivy was thinking about. She gave a tight laugh as I warily watched her. "That's that then."

Ashamed, I tried to appease my actions. "Ivy, I'm really, really sorry about what happened. But believe me when I say this, I will never regret a single moment with you. I just . . ." Here, I paused, unsure of what I wanted to say next. "I didn't want to hurt you, but by not telling you the truth, I ruined you. I'm so sorry."

Several minutes of silence swept by, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I heard Ivy sniffle a few times, but for the most part, she seemed OK. Normal.

"To be honest, I knew you didn't love me as much as you loved her. But I kind of wanted . . . someone around. You're a nice guy, Josh." Ivy glanced at me and smiled shyly. "Sometimes, though, you can be a real idiot."

"I'm sorry," I said for the hundredth time today, but also giving a small laugh. "I really am."

"It's fine." She looked around the room and grinned at me. "Or at least . . . it will be."


After our very temperamental breakup, I rushed to Reed's room. I knew for a fact I looked like a goofy, love-struck teenager, but I couldn't help it. Reed and I could finally, finally be together.

Once I reached Reed's room, I impatiently knocked on it. It seemed as if Reed was impatient too because she opened the door two seconds later, beaming at me. Immediately, I came inside, not even bothering to hide my excitement.

"You have to stop coming here after hours," said Reed playfully. "You're going to get me into trouble."

"Ivy and I broke up," I blurted out. As I waited for her response, I drank in her lovely appearance, her curves, her silky hair, and oh my, her lips . . .

"Really? Oh," was all Reed managed to say. I was a bit upset at her reaction, but she had every reason to be cautious. Her eyes flitted to the opposite wall, no doubt thinking about Ivy.

"She's not here. She's at the solarium," I said, trying to make her at ease. After Ivy and I left Ketlar, I dropped her off there, still attempting to be a respectful man to her. At least we had parted on good terms.

"OK." Reed crossed her arms over her chest which, to my delight, happened to make her breasts come forward. I snapped out of my dirty thoughts when she continued to say, "I guess you know I told her."

"Yeah. She wasn't happy," I replied. Feeling a bit hot, I took of my coat and let in settle on the back of her desk chair.

"I'm sorry, but if I were in her position, I would want to know," Reed explained. God Reed, why do you have to be so fucking nice? Oh wait – that's one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place.

I nodded and sat down on her bed. "I get it," I said, running my fingers through my hair. "Honestly, I was kind of glad I didn't have to break up with her. I mean, I would have. I know I should have, but . . . Does that make me a wuss?" I asked shamefacedly.

"Yeah, kind of," Reed joked back. My heart fluttered, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her senseless.

"Care to kiss a wuss?" I asked, lunging for Reed's wrist and placing her land on my lap. I inhaled her fresh scent, my hands tightening around Reed's slim waist, never wanting to let her go.

"Eh, why not."

Grinning like an over-obsessed fool, my lips met with hers. I don't know how long we lay down and kissed and giggled, but one thing was for sure: nothing was going to tear up apart.

Not even love.